velvet @possibly-velvet - Tumblr Blog

thinking of you

i look at the shit im a fan of to humble myself

i think i want to be a good person

#i hope I do at least #i hope that whatever wants me to be a bad person isnt me #just a symptom that can be fixed #i hope to be a good person and to love everyone #i think i do and i think i am #thats why i write my stories #it doesnt seem like i can find anyone who understands what i mean though #not to be all “im not like anyone else” typa shit but i cant find help #who knows how ill feel in 10 minutes #every night is like this huh?#sorry! this is yet another cry for help! hahaaa helppp!! help me!

give and receive love to everyone and everything, there are no pillars to climb because we are all standing on a flat surface in the end

the internet can be so disgusting and cruel i fear it every day, care and empathy gets lost the longer you spend here, i dont want to die with the internet holding my lifeless corpse in its grasp to abuse however it chooses

#im paranoid over things that havent happened yet once again #i see my future i want to have my art shared and the easiest way is the internet #yet i know the internet and how evil people can become on it #and i fear for myself even though i shouldnt #really im not interesting enough to experience anything i see famous and infamous people go through #feels egotistical or self centered to worry now #yet i am myself and i live my life so its not too crazy to think of myself in this scenario #either im pure or im evil theres no shades of grey for me!! hypocrite! or im just undiagnosed

not to ventpost again but i know something is wrong with me but the lack of labels stresses me out, nothing i feel is real unless externally validated. i hate this so much. ive been fucked from birth and my upbringing but no one can help me, and god knows i cant help myself. its like theres 2(? or more?) people in my head and theyre always arguing and throwing things at each other. i feel myself becoming a bad person or slipping deeper into depression or becoming manic and hyper impulsive every 10 minutes but anytime i notice my behaviors its suddenly not real, nothing i do or think is genuine, and im attention seeking alone in my bedroom. FUCK!!! its so joever

im just frustrated that theres nothing i can do and year after year i get worse and i know i am but i have no one to go to, no therapists i can trust and i dont want to burden this on my friends or be viewed in a way i cant control

i dont even know how i want to be viewed

i dont want to be viewed

artfight is too intimidating for me i dont think i could ever bring myself to join, idk its cool and i like it and the community it can bring out (positives not negatives duh) but just,,, its always made me nervous and i dont fully know why

tomorrow starts the most important year of my life for only a year, only up after this, the j curves upward. hope!! im trying to have it! im scared but i will continue!

i enjoy media too much it makes me sick

im making more pins and keychains but i got impatient so heres what i have so far! guess what band i like

my gripes are that the plastic i used has a gross looking film i cant get rid of, i couldve done a better job cutting the paper and plastic, and i got sloppy and lazy with the mod podge but whatever! its done and they will be lost the second i wear them out. lol.

#i printed out the photos cut them out glued them on 2 layers of plastic (like binder dividers) and coated them with mod podge #the pins have backings that lock and the keychain got dunked in mod podge so its extra sealed #art not by me but thats obvious #last 3 are from the comix of two cities #the residents #the residents band #art #fanart #keychain #pins #handcrafted #custom keychain #custom pins #artwork #band fanart #i dont know how to TAG!!!!! EW!!!!#okay #bands #mark of the mole

they're GAY!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im so desperate for fan content for this stupid media that im reading comics in languages i cant even attempt to understand and nodding along as if i know what happening

#on a different note i havent even read much manga as of late #but apparently enough to where reading comics with western panel formatting gets confusing #this is new and i dont know why its automatic for me to read it differently #especially because well. i read comics from america growing up. in america. because. guess.#i dunno its just something ive notice and it annoys me because i begin reading the wrong panels and its hard to get back into the flow of i

b0nkcreat

when you and your friends live in a town with nothing to do you have to ask yourself hard hitting questions like “what’s new in the walmart parking lot” and “how many times can we go to waffle house in one week”

#for where i am its less “nothing to do” more “nothing we havent seen before”#but still pretty much yea

what did i do 2 years ago to get 1k+ notes on some posts and how can i be that person again

#the number goes up and i smile big and large!

i dont have enough socials for all my wondeful pfps

coffibee

looking in niche tags ur desperate for feels like opening and closing a fridge that you know has no food in

some songs in the usavich soundtrack are a lot like goat simulator's soundtrack (or i guess goat sim 3, specifically), and its really strange to me. never thought id hear the same sorts of sounds and noises like that but hey i cannot complain

#peak vs peak

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