Facts About Potatoes

Only the best potato facts by your favorite potato scientist

[grenadineghost]

you want to be mommy’s adjective noun, don’t you, pet name? you want to verb and verb for mommy like a good gender

[alhyastarain]

you want to be mommy's weird potato, don't you, Brian? you want to skip and somersault like a good jester

[calidotgov-deactivated20240108]

congratulations piracy

[livefromtheloam]

Ad agency: Please don't steal the King's potatoes, no matter how easy it is.

Regular people: Wait, the King has easily stolen potatoes? How do I get in on this?

Internet users who have been stealing potatoes for years: We made a machine that picks so many potatoes and also that machine is free. Enjoy!

[commandtower-solring-go]

Ad agency: you wouldn't steal a movie?

10 year old me with 0 income and no movie: YOU CAN STEAL MOVIES????

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Headline from IFLScience reading: "You Wouldn't Steal a Movie" Advert May Have Led To More People Stealing Movies /End ID]

[geekysteven]

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[aniseandspearmint]

"I love you. ...That was for the potatoes, not for you."

[potato-murderer]

I am now in debt to someone I have never met before

[potatofacts]

If you did this to a human they wouldn’t like it but potatoes aren’t even remotely scared of this

[sentientstump]

blight is a funny word to me because all this time i thought wow its another word for light and then turns out my dear friends - the potatoes - are affected by it big time

[abstractfrog]

The potatoes know more than they are letting on :/

[deathbydyingpod]

HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE SO FAST???

This rules.

[homunculus-argument]

There's an above zero possibility that someone you know may one day casually say some shit like "I don't get why people like potatoes, I'd never eat them voluntarily, they just taste like vaguely bitter watery dirt and if you like the texture, you could literally just eat an apple instead" and that's how you find out that nobody in their family knows that you're supposed to cook them first.

[ao3org]

Errors Accessing AO3

We are investigating reports of errors when trying to load AO3, including errors saying that AO3 is down, which seem to be related to the previous incident. We will update when we have more information!

Posted: 22:36 UTC 02 March, 2026

[ao3org]

AO3 is now fully down. After performing a software upgrade a few days ago, we've been unable to keep our server cluster healthy due to what we believe is a bug or issue with the new release of our database server software.

We're working with our vendor's support team to understand the cause and whether reverting or upgrading further will best resolve the issue without continuing the cycle of up and downtimes.

We do not currently have an estimated time for when we will be back up, but we expect it to be multiple hours at minimum. We apologize for the inconvenience and will update you when we know more.

For updates refer to our status page.

Posted: 03:16 UTC 03 March, 2026

[ariadne-mouse]

Choose sustenance to put into the enclosure of Ao3 staff and volunteers

one william croissants

juice boxes sorted by flavor, expiration date, straw type, and carton size

simple hearty soups with grilled cheeses

a delectable array of tasty little fruits

hotpot with all the fixings

the 10,000 potatoes from the previous Ao3 battery, mashed and buttered

candy hearts with fic tags on them

Voting ended onMar 4

[everybody-loves-to-eat]

[penandinkprincess]

"cooking with heat is the breakthrough technology" is a phrase that made me fucking CACKLE

[dogpuppy]

[potatofacts]

Would you still love me if while we were holding hands you looked down you saw that we weren’t holding hands because I’d placed delicious potato wedges in between each of your fingers and when you looked up I wasn’t there ??

[potatofacts]

Unlike humans, potatoes are not afraid of being fried alive

[potato]

what

[big-condiments-official]

the pot beckons

[oneheadtoanother]

[argumate]

and are they wrong

[evilsoup]

[potato-murderer]

They are divine.

[confield]

You cannot say that a top grossing artist is "feral" or making you "feral." You are listening to the Billboard Top 40. You are very domesticated.

[breadcunt]

Stupid ass take. The fame of the artist doesn't define how it makes you feel. Do you not see me go hogwild eating potatoes, easily one of the top 5 most well known vegetables

[confield]

We're like shooting stars you and I

[honeybeeofficial]

everyone say thank you ancient central and south american agricultural heroes for beans

[honeybeeofficial]

everyone say thank you ancient south american agricultural heroes for potato

[kawuli]

everyone say thank you ancient mesoamerican agricultural heroes for maize

[vexwerewolf]

everyone say thank you ancient mesoamerican agricultural heroes for tomato

[potatofacts]

When I was a freshman in undergrad, the RA came around to each room on her floor hoping to get to know everyone. When I answered my door she told me she was doing this by asking basic things about us: our names, where we’re from, and a fun fact.

And I’ve always hated the fun fact question cause like, I’m 18 at this point. It’s not like I’ve distinguished my life in any notable way, but I figured alright, what can I tell her that’s both unique and memorable — something that’ll actually help me stand out.

I tell her that I run a blog dedicated to spreading misinformation about potatoes.

It took her absolutely bewildered expression for me to realize that this was perhaps, not the most socially appropriate answer.

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[ginny-lala]