Tobio’s hands were very, very small.
From the base to the tips of his fingers, all fit inside her palm.
To be quite honest, Miwa didn’t like her new brother very much. Her friends had warned her that when the baby was born her parents would pay more attention to him, but she didn’t think that it would happen so soon!
For once, Mom had time to watch her play. Only for the baby decide that now was the best time to come out.
“It’s not fair.” She complained to Kazuyo-kun. “She was my mom first.”
“It isn’t very fair.” He agreed, nodding solemnly. “But the baby doesn’t know any better. In fact, he probably wanted to watch you play too.”
“Kazuyo-kun, I’m not little anymore, you can’t trick me like that. How would the baby even know what volleyball even is?”
-Almost twenty years later, watching her brother in Rio (her little brother!! At the Olympics!!) through the screen in her salon, Miwa mused that Kazuyo-kun was probably right about that,-
A few hours later, Miwa and Kazuyo-kun walked into the hospital maternity ward, where her mother was lying in bed with a tiny blue bundle in her arms.
Miwa handed a bouquet of flowers to her mother, who then asked if she would like to meet her little brother.
Tobio’s hands were very small, but they were surprisingly strong too.
His little hand curled around Miwa’s finger, holding on tightly.
“Looks like he likes his big sister.” Mom joked.
Her little brother was already a pain and an inconvenience, but Miwa guessed she could forgive just this once.
After all, he didn’t know any better. But it was okay. Miwa would teach him.
Miwa’s act of forgiveness went unappreciated.
Tobio had only grown more and more annoying.
Not only did he keep her up with his crying at night, but now he even kept taking her ball!
Every time Miwa went looking for it, it would undoubtedly be found in Tobio's grubby little hands, drowned in his spit. And even then, he would throw a huge tantrum if you tried to take it away from him.
He was almost a year old now! He really had to grow up. Miwa was sure she hadn’t been so unreasonable when she was Tobio’s age.
And so, for Tobio's first birthday, Miwa got him his own volleyball.
She was quite pleased with herself. Tobio should be grateful he has such a generous sister. She spent her pocket money on this gift after all.
It worked well enough, for all of ten minutes, until she turns around and sees him trying to wrangle both balls.
Miwa had steam coming out of her ears while Kazuyo-kun laughed so hard he was tearing up.
“Tobio! You’re so greedy!”
Just as Miwa was about to lose it, Kazuyo-kun intervened.
"Tobio is still too little to understand about what belongs to who. To him they're both the same."
That makes sense. Miwa supposed. Boys were stupider than girls, and Tobio was still small. "Then I'll write my name on mine. Then he can see which is which."
"That's a pretty good idea! Our Miwa is a pretty smart gal, huh?"
Pleasure bloomed through Miwa's body, down to the tips of her fingers and toes. She knew she was clever but hearing it from Kazuyo-kun always felt really good.
She scrambled up to her room, only to come back down with arms full of colored pens, paints, and a paintbrush.
"Kazuyo-kun, here you go."
"Well, it would be pretty unfair if only I decorated my ball. Tobio should too. But since he can't write his name, he can do that baby thing where they stamp their hands. Kazuyo-san did you know that everyone's handprint is different? Even their fingerprints are different!"
"Wow, really?! How amazing. Did you learn that in science class?"
And so, as Miwa signed and decorated her ball, Kazuyo-kun painted Tobio’s hands, and then had him hold onto his.
Before long, two blue hands stood out against the white of the ball.
“There we go. Isn’t this nice? Now Tobio can learn to recognize his own ball.” Kazuyo-kun exclaimed, before turning to his granddaughter. “Miwa-chan! You’re quite the artist.”
Miwa had written name on the ball and drawn some flowers and butterflies too.
After they came home from work, her parents praised her for her great idea.
“How cute! If you do this every year, it can even be like a growth chart, measuring how much he’s grown.” Mom exclaimed, examining the volleyball, which had dried by then. “If Tobio still likes balls by then.” She added.
“Very clever Miwa.” Dad smiled, ruffling her hair.
As it happened, Tobio’s love for volleyball only increased as he got older.
From then on it became a tradition. For Tobio’s birthday she would get him a plain white volleyball, even when the colored ones were put into official use, so that the outline of his hands would stand out against the canvas.
And Tobio would use that ball to practice at home all year, until his next birthday.
His hands, slowly but surely, were growing.
It was the year after Kazuyo-kun passed away, that Miwa noticed Tobio’s hands were bigger than hers.
She had known this, in an abstract sort of way. He was much taller than her too. But the knowledge never really settled into her until it did then, when she pressed her hand onto the dry paint, where Tobio’s hand was. Where they were once small enough to barely wrap around her finger, now they could cover hers completely.
She doesn’t quite know how that makes her feel.
Her little brother was growing up.
At least that’s what she thought, until she could hear snuffling from the room next to hers.
Ah. This was Tobio’s first birthday without Kazuyo-kun.
Miwa got up from bed and marched into Tobio’s room. His hair was mussed up, and eyes red.
“You okay?” she asked, though she knew he wasn’t. She just didn’t know what else to say.
Kazuyo-kun was better at these things. He always knew what to say, especially when it came to Tobio. Miwa felt her eyes sting.
“I just miss him.” Tobio replied after a while, his voice cracking. That was another change Miwa wasn’t quite used to.
Silence sat between them for a while, before Miwa sighed. She grabbed Tobio’s hands and pulled him towards Kazuyo’s room.
“Come on. Let’s have a sleepover.”
And so they spent the night squished together in their grandfather’s bed. Even months after Kazuyo-kun left them, it still smells like him.
Even though Tobio was bigger than her now, voice deeper, he was still Miwa’s annoying little brother.