Elize

Things that happened that you’d prefer not to remember

[pr0phetgrl]

Call me whatever I guess

Just a vent blog

Fetishizers or whoever else can fuck off

[pr0phetgrl]

I feel like being overweight and underweight aren’t comparable honestly. No one wants to be overweight, but alot of people want to be under. Skinny is a compliment, fat isn’t. Of course I’m not saying thinner people don’t face any problems, but in comparison to bigger people I just feel like it’s a lot less.

[pr0phetgrl]

I always feel such a deep sense of regret whenever I think about the past. Everything I could’ve done differently, the better choices I could’ve made. I always think about where I’d be if things were just different. I think I’d be better if I changed a lot. I’m not a very good person.

[pr0phetgrl]

I don’t think I’ll ever be sick enough. Maybe when I finally end things I will be but. For now, no one cares that I think this way, no one cares that I can’t eat anything without seeing it as a number. A number that’s too high no matter what it is. No one’s cares that I can’t look at myself in a mirror without being fully covered.

I don’t need anyone anyway though.

[pr0phetgrl]

I think existing as myself has a lot of shame to it. I don’t think I was ever a good person, not as far as I can remember anyway. I could lie to myself all day and say there’s hope for me but really, what’s the point? Why lie and delude myself into thinking something that’s untrue?

[pr0phetgrl]

I hate having a favorite person. I think I should just be alone from now on and save myself the pain.

[pr0phetgrl]

Waking up is getting too painful. Doing anything feels like too much. Soon I’ll just lay in the dirt and let the earth take me. Thats about all I’m good for.

[pr0phetgrl]

What a nasty and selfish creature I am. I’m pathetic. No one is coming to save me, no one truly cares. Why do I keep waiting around for something that will never come?

Purely because I’m selfish. If I were truly kind I’d do a favor to the world and simply become a statistic. Nothing more.

I will be nothing more than a statistic someday.

[pr0phetgrl]

I don’t think I’ll ever be lovable, not truly. I’m a complete train wreck of a person. Maybe that’s my own fault. Maybe I should be better and I’d be lovable. Somebody would actually care about me and mean it for once. Just maybe.

[pr0phetgrl]

No matter how much I scrub and scrub and scrub I can’t ever get the feeling of hands off me. I wonder if I’ll feel like this forever. Just some object of every selfish persons sexual desires. I feel so dirty when it’s something I never wanted or asked for. I’m disgusting.