Barely Not A Paramedic

Actually just barely a paramedic! (Just got certified!)

[pre-paramedic-provider]

"I'm not telling you to go big or go home, but..."

-Airway Management Training

[pre-paramedic-provider]

"Police shoot people, fire drags people, and EMS drives people."

-Training Chief

[pre-paramedic-provider]

"Hydralizine is a random number generator."

-Medical Director

[pre-paramedic-provider]

"When in doubt apply electricity."

-Medical Director

[pre-paramedic-provider]

"What would happen?"

"Death. Death is always the answer. "

Technical rescue course (discussing swift water rescue)

[pre-paramedic-provider]

Got a rescue issue? Try rope! Every good rescue needs rope!

Technical rescue course

[pre-paramedic-provider]

Student 1: Pre and post capillary sphincters.

Student 2: Stop saying sphincter.

Student 1: Sphincter.

Later

Lecturer: ...pyloric sphincter.

Student 3: Sphincter.

[pre-paramedic-provider]

"...and we are sure to say..."

"Kachow!"

"...airway. We are gonna say airway management."

Lecturer and 2020 Crew (heard during mega code scenario review)

[pre-paramedic-provider]

"You get a long QT interval and then, then you die."

Lecturer to 2020 Crew (talking about cardiac rhythms and prolonged QT intervals)

[pre-paramedic-provider]

"If they don't have the fluid, they don't have the sloshy-slosh."

Lecturer to 2020 Crew (talking about hypovolemic shock)

[pre-paramedic-provider]

"Asystole. That's always fucking bad."

OMD to 2020 Crew

[pre-paramedic-provider]

"Liquor-cycles."

EVOC (talking about mopeds and the like)

[pre-paramedic-provider]

EVOC Instructor: *talking about driver attitudes* "...and exhibitionist."

Student: "Excuse me?"

EVOC Instructor: "Keep your clothes on kids."

[pre-paramedic-provider]

EVOC Instructor: "When all else fails..."

Student: "Google."

EVOC Instructor: "GTS it."

[pre-paramedic-provider]

"Sending a text requires taking at least one hand off the wheel."

"That's why god gave you two knees."

EVOC

[pre-paramedic-provider]

"DEF fluid is corrosive to glass. That's why it comes in plastic, not glass! Dont put DEF fluid in as window washer fluid!"

EVOC (About someone accidentally killing an ambulance's front window)

[pre-paramedic-provider]

EVOC Instructor: "...so wear your seatbelt."

Student: *looking at ppt* "You mean you cant drive naked?! What the heck!"

EVOC Instructor: "Huh?"

Student: "It says you must be fully dressed!"

EVOC Instructor: "....yeah. Wear clothes. Be fully dressed."