Step daddy issues.
One Nice Bug Per Day
Cosmic Funnies

oozey mess
Not today Justin
YOU ARE THE REASON
I'd rather be in outer space đž
KIROKAZE
$LAYYYTER
Mike Driver
Game of Thrones Daily

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Show & Tell
Fai_Ryy

romaâ
Noah Kahan
cherry valley forever
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
đȘŒ

titsay
Aqua Utopiaïœæ”·ăźćșă§èšæ¶ă玥ă
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@prettiestpapiperalta
Step daddy issues.
debbie is my new favourite charac and that's on periodt luv
You cant convince me that the Brooklyn Nine-Nine fandom isnât just a secret Taylor Swift appreciation club
Hey there! I'm looking for a group of b99 lovers to make a group chat with, but it's not going well so far... Would you like to help make/join a group? đ
I would love to make one! :) anyone can join just dm me :)
oh baby baby!- kid centre drabble prompts
Hi! Okay so i made this lists specifically for me to write about Peraltiago (please leave me suggestion, please I need this) but everyone/ anyone feel like using this list have at it :)
1. âWait, you want kids?â
2. âAwww look how cute this baby is!â
3. âIâm lateâ
4. âYou used protection right?â
5. âI donât think Iâll ever want a babyâ
6. âUm, why is there a pregnancy test in the trash can?â
7. âIâm pregnantâ
8. âGet that pee stick away from me!â
9. âWhat do two lines mean?â
10. âHow much do you want to bet the babies a girlâÂ
11. âIts aâŠâ
12. âWow is that the heartbeat?â
13. âWait is that an arm or a head or a body?â (for an ultrasound)
14. âLook at the baby bump!â
15. âWoah babe, is your stomach moving?â
16. âWe are not naming our child that!â
17. âCan I touch the bump?â
18. âIâm as big as a whale!â
19. âWoah babe, youâre huge!â
20. âYou know what Iâm cravingâŠâ
21. âThis is going to be a crazy baby showerâ
22. âNot if itâs my kid, itâs notâ
23. âMy feet hurtâ
24. âI canât fit into any of my pantsâ
25. âI just canât stop sobbingâ
26. âThank god it was just a false callâ
27. âI think my water just brokeâ
28. âIâm never having another kidâ
29. âCome on, just push, I believe in you!â
30. âWhat do you mean you forgot the hospital bag!?â
31. âWoah, I just had a babyâŠâ
32. âIm a mom!â / âIâm a dad!â
33. âItâs your turn to feed the babyâ
34. âThere name is *insert name*
35. âHoly shit i have a babyâ
36. âNo-one will ever hurt you kidâ
37. âI love you so much right nowâ
38. âHe/She is perfectâ
39. âSo will you be the Godparents?â
40. âIm so scared im going to fuck this upâ
41. âI love baby clothesâ
42. âWe need to go shopping again?â
43. âDid you hear that?â
44. âSay mama / dadaâ
45. âHaha i made her/him laugh!â
46 âI cannot believe that was her/his first wordâ
47. âNo donât say that! Thats a no-no word!â
48. âYouâre so stinking adorableâ
49. âYour mom/dad is not going to be happyâŠâ
50. âDid she just walkâ
51. âItâs dangerous with her/him crawling around every whereâ
52. â how are you so fast?â
53. âJust let me call the babysitter one last time..â
54. âDo we look alike?â
55. âMaybe we should go homeâ
56. âHey, youre okayâ
57. âMommy/daddy tell me a storyâ
58. âIts bath time!â
59.âwhereâs *nameâs* Favourite toy?â
60. âYoure going to look so cute when im done with your hair, babyâ
61. âIf i kiss it will it feel better?â
62. âStop crying now!â
63. âHey babe, *name* is having a tantrum? What do i do?â
64. âWow this is such a good drawing! What is it?â
65. âYou got to eat itâ
66. âYeah Iâll play with youâ
67. âI am now princess daddyâ
68. âYouâre just a little mommies/daddies girl/boy, huh!â
69. âIm sorry i cant helpâ
70. âWatch it again?â
71. âIm a bad mom/dadâ
72. âIm so scare of being a dad/momâ.
73. âThey (the kid) fell asleep in the bedâ
74. âIâll take care of you, the flu is no big dealâ
75. âThey (kid) wanted to cuddleâ
76. â Like parent, like babyâ
77. âIts your birthday!â
78. âSurprise daddy/mommy!â
79. Holidays: Christmas/ Chanukah/ Halloween/ thanksgiving
80. âDont freak out but i think (kid name) just broke somethingâ
81. âI fell off my bikeâ
82. âIm pregnant⊠againâ
83. âI want another kidâ
84. â(Kid name) doesnt want to be an older siblingâ
85. âItâs not just one (baby)âŠâ
86. â(Kid) said that they hate meâ
87. âNo Iâll never be my father/motherâ
88. âI juSt want one normal dayâ
89. âThey (kid) told me i was there favouriteâ
90. âNo i dont have a favourite childâ
91. âSo how was the first day!â
92. âOh okay so a normal day of school thenâ
93. âMommy im a big girl/boy nowâ
94. âI love you mommy/daddyâ
95. âShhhh youre my babyâ
96. âThat was the best recital ever!â
97. âYoure homework is too hardâ
98. âMom, dad, I have a boyfriend/girlfriend/s.oâ
99. âNo one can hurt youâ
100. âIm a cool mom/dadâ
101. âJust shut up!â
102. âI hope youre happy!â
103. âI want to be more like youâ
104. âHow do I change a diaper!â
105. âYeah im a pretty good mom/dadâ
106. âNo more fightingâ
107. âJust do the freaking dishesâ
108. âI love you all evenlyâ
109. âYeah i made thatâ
110. âBut the kids want a dog so badd!â
111. âYouâre being a bratâ
112. âIm so proud of youâ
113. âYouâll alwaya be my babyâ
114. âThatâs it, Youre grounded for a monthâ
115. âShe/ he hit their little sister/brotherâ
116. âYou got suspended?!â
117. âIm gonna kill him/herâ
118. âBut the daddy, daughter dance is tonight!â
119. âHer/his forehead is warm, babeâ
120. âIts 3 am⊠what do you want?â
121. âIm not teaching you how it kiss a boyâ
122. âDad/Mom did it!â
123. âI want peanut butter and onions and i want them nowâ
124. âDid you take *name* out of school?â
125. âThere is a baby growing in me right nowâŠâ
126 âmmm i dont want to make *name* get a shot
127. âI cant move *name* is sleeping on meâ
128. âNo sex ever againâ
129. âOur poor kid has the weirdest uncles and auntsâ
130. âI hate that im the stricked parentâ
131. âWhy does it looks like you have a whole circus in your hair?â
132. âI have to take *kid* to work with meâ
133. âWeâre going to the erâ
134. â*name* teacher wants a confrinceâ
135. âDo you think something is wrong with *kid name*â.
136. âGod youâre just like your mom/dadâ
137. âI miss when you were a babyâ
138. âDid you cut your hair on your own?â
139. âShe/ he drank my coffee and now sheâs/ heâa bouncing off the wallâ
140. âWhy cant i bond with them?â
141. Your own :)
Please suggust some!
Will you write prompt #58??
Hi, Yes, of course, thank you! If anyone else wants to request anything, hit me up, Iâd greatly appreciate it :)
#58:Â âYouâre never this quiet, Whatâs wrong?â
When Jake had first become a detective, he thought that he was probably the most earnestly invested in what he did. After all, he worked the job he had been dreaming about since he was a kid and god he loved what he did.Â
âHow could anyone be more into this than me?!â Was a constant thought that ran through his head throughout the entirety of his first years getting perps.
Then the one Ms Amy Santiago joined the nine-nine and Peralta was thrown through a loop as he considered if it even looked like he loved his job anymore.
Fast forward a few years, he ended up marrying that very adamant detective and the two acted as a crime-stopping super-team.
Their equal love for what they did mean a lot of over-time and personal hours invested in their cases, making it all that much harder to find time for one another.
Some times, just sometimes, however, all the stars seemed to aline and Jake and Amy found themselves with time to bond and hang out like a married couple should.
It was late into the afternoon and the couple had accomplished all that they needed to do, eat breakfast, take a shower, and get up. not in that order.
Now the two laid on their couch, watching the T.V. Usually, Amy was pretty against watching the t.v. as she found it:Â âpointless and a waste of precious time I could be organising something or making something that Holt would appreciateâ But Jake and his magical reasoning skills were able to convince her otherwise that afternoon.
What that really meant was that he basically just promised that they could watch the Smithsonian channel and she could organise those binder tabs that she had been meaning to do.Â
She agreed the second organisation was mentioned.
So there the couple laid on the couch lazily, to each their own.
Jake, not at all interested on whatever history mumbo-jumbo the fancy speaking old man was saying on the tv, instead he equally divided his attention to trolling through Diehard chat rooms, trying to snoop the possibility of another movie being made, and starring Amy.
 The second wasnât intentional. It was just he could see her from his peripheral vision, and she was so cute as she tried to manically fix her binder collection, Jake couldnât stop looking.
âYou havenât talked in like thirty minutes and in all the time that Iâve known you, youâve talked through every single movie weâve ever seen, including the aeroplane safety videos which is crazy if you ask me,â Amy looked In Jakeâs direction, rearranging the pile of dividers laying in her lap. âYou're never this quiet, whatâs wrong?â
âNo nothings wrong, I was just thinkingâ He cleared his throat.
Any gave him an incredulous look, Moving her supplies on the coffee table in front of her. âOkay, you never think, whatâs the matter?â
Jake just sighs, knowing his cover was blown he looks down at his hands âNo nothing is wrong Ames, it's just, I was actually thinking... thinking about us,â
Amyâs heart dropped to the pit of her stomach he seemed so calm, so calm it was troublesome. She adjusted her posture so that she was sitting more professionally, she didn't want to give any tells of her worry âThinking about what?âÂ
âAbout how much I love you and how perfect our life is,â
Amyâs tense shoulders dropped as she felt her heart swell, a little âawwâ escaped her lip as she leaned over to kiss him.
âI love you too,â she said against his lips, moving so that their foreheads rested against one another as the tone in her voice completely changed âWe should turn off the tv-â
âUhuhâ Jakeâs voice followed, his eyes lighting up in excited curiosity
âChange into something a little different,â
âUhuhâ
âAnd go get some ice cream from the new place across the street!â
Jake jumped up from the couch like a little kid, âHell yeah! God I love you so much, babeâÂ
the b99 fandom in 2019
nbc can have my soul at this point
I just want someone to love me as much as boyle loves jake đ„șđ„ș
oh baby baby!- kid centre drabble prompts
Hi! Okay so i made this lists specifically for me to write about Peraltiago (please leave me suggestion, please I need this) but everyone/ anyone feel like using this list have at it :)
1. âWait, you want kids?â
2. âAwww look how cute this baby is!â
3. âIâm lateâ
4. âYou used protection right?â
5. âI donât think Iâll ever want a babyâ
6. âUm, why is there a pregnancy test in the trash can?â
7. âIâm pregnantâ
8. âGet that pee stick away from me!â
9. âWhat do two lines mean?â
10. âHow much do you want to bet the babies a girlâÂ
11. âIts a...â
12. âWow is that the heartbeat?â
13. âWait is that an arm or a head or a body?â (for an ultrasound)
14. âLook at the baby bump!â
15. âWoah babe, is your stomach moving?â
16. âWe are not naming our child that!â
17. âCan I touch the bump?â
18. âIâm as big as a whale!â
19. âWoah babe, youâre huge!â
20. âYou know what Iâm craving...â
21. âThis is going to be a crazy baby showerâ
22. âNot if it's my kid, it's notâ
23. âMy feet hurtâ
24. âI can't fit into any of my pantsâ
25. âI just can't stop sobbingâ
26. âThank god it was just a false callâ
27. âI think my water just brokeâ
28. âIâm never having another kidâ
29. âCome on, just push, I believe in you!â
30. âWhat do you mean you forgot the hospital bag!?â
31. âWoah, I just had a baby...â
32. âIm a mom!â / âIâm a dad!â
33. âItâs your turn to feed the babyâ
34. âThere name is *insert name*
35. âHoly shit i have a babyâ
36. âNo-one will ever hurt you kidâ
37. âI love you so much right nowâ
38. âHe/She is perfectâ
39. âSo will you be the Godparents?â
40. âIm so scared im going to fuck this upâ
41. âI love baby clothesâ
42. âWe need to go shopping again?â
43. âDid you hear that?â
44. âSay mama / dadaâ
45. âHaha i made her/him laugh!â
46 âI cannot believe that was her/his first wordâ
47. âNo donât say that! Thats a no-no word!â
48. âYouâre so stinking adorableâ
49. âYour mom/dad is not going to be happy...â
50. âDid she just walkâ
51. âItâs dangerous with her/him crawling around every whereâ
52. â how are you so fast?â
53. âJust let me call the babysitter one last time..â
54. âDo we look alike?â
55. âMaybe we should go homeâ
56. âHey, youre okayâ
57. âMommy/daddy tell me a storyâ
58. âIts bath time!â
59.âwhereâs *nameâs* Favourite toy?â
60. âYoure going to look so cute when im done with your hair, babyâ
61. âIf i kiss it will it feel better?â
62. âStop crying now!â
63. âHey babe, *name* is having a tantrum? What do i do?â
64. âWow this is such a good drawing! What is it?â
65. âYou got to eat itâ
66. âYeah Iâll play with youâ
67. âI am now princess daddyâ
68. âYouâre just a little mommies/daddies girl/boy, huh!â
69. âIm sorry i cant helpâ
70. âWatch it again?â
71. âIm a bad mom/dadâ
72. âIm so scare of being a dad/momâ.
73. âThey (the kid) fell asleep in the bedâ
74. âIâll take care of you, the flu is no big dealâ
75. âThey (kid) wanted to cuddleâ
76. â Like parent, like babyâ
77. âIts your birthday!â
78. âSurprise daddy/mommy!â
79. Holidays: Christmas/ Chanukah/ Halloween/ thanksgiving
80. âDont freak out but i think (kid name) just broke somethingâ
81. âI fell off my bikeâ
82. âIm pregnant... againâ
83. âI want another kidâ
84. â(Kid name) doesnt want to be an older siblingâ
85. âItâs not just one (baby)...â
86. â(Kid) said that they hate meâ
87. âNo Iâll never be my father/motherâ
88. âI juSt want one normal dayâ
89. âThey (kid) told me i was there favouriteâ
90. âNo i dont have a favourite childâ
91. âSo how was the first day!â
92. âOh okay so a normal day of school thenâ
93. âMommy im a big girl/boy nowâ
94. âI love you mommy/daddyâ
95. âShhhh youre my babyâ
96. âThat was the best recital ever!â
97. âYoure homework is too hardâ
98. âMom, dad, I have a boyfriend/girlfriend/s.oâ
99. âNo one can hurt youâ
100. âIm a cool mom/dadâ
101. âJust shut up!â
102. âI hope youre happy!â
103. âI want to be more like youâ
104. âHow do I change a diaper!â
105. âYeah im a pretty good mom/dadâ
106. âNo more fightingâ
107. âJust do the freaking dishesâ
108. âI love you all evenlyâ
109. âYeah i made thatâ
110. âBut the kids want a dog so badd!â
111. âYouâre being a bratâ
112. âIm so proud of youâ
113. âYouâll alwaya be my babyâ
114. âThatâs it, Youre grounded for a monthâ
115. âShe/ he hit their little sister/brotherâ
116. âYou got suspended?!â
117. âIm gonna kill him/herâ
118. âBut the daddy, daughter dance is tonight!â
119. âHer/his forehead is warm, babeâ
120. âIts 3 am... what do you want?â
121. âIm not teaching you how it kiss a boyâ
122. âDad/Mom did it!â
123. âI want peanut butter and onions and i want them nowâ
124. âDid you take *name* out of school?â
125. âThere is a baby growing in me right now...â
126 âmmm i dont want to make *name* get a shot
127. âI cant move *name* is sleeping on meâ
128. âNo sex ever againâ
129. âOur poor kid has the weirdest uncles and auntsâ
130. âI hate that im the stricked parentâ
131. âWhy does it looks like you have a whole circus in your hair?â
132. âI have to take *kid* to work with meâ
133. âWeâre going to the erâ
134. â*name* teacher wants a confrinceâ
135. âDo you think something is wrong with *kid name*â.
136. âGod youâre just like your mom/dadâ
137. âI miss when you were a babyâ
138. âDid you cut your hair on your own?â
139. âShe/ he drank my coffee and now sheâs/ heâa bouncing off the wallâ
140. âWhy cant i bond with them?â
141. Your own :)
Please suggust some!
Hiii! How are you? Can you please write about Peraltiago with prompts 15; 112 and 134 please? That would make me realllyyyy happy đ„°đ„° also, Iâve tried to join groups about peraltiago with my other account but I didnât succeed, I think Iâm bad at it
Hi! Iâm good now that youâve requested that I write something! Iâm like so excited to write this yeeee! I also have no clue how to work tumblr my dood so Iâm sorry, I canât be of much help. But anyway, Iâm going to do each of these individually, and Iâll link them on this post when I write them :).
But for now, here is 15 :)
#15:Â âYouâre breaking my heart, babeâ.
Jake paced up and down the narrow hallway of the precinct, occasionally looking up to see fellow detectives pass him in the hall.
To say that he was excited would be an understatement, he was beyond thrilled and his constant moving was an obvious sign of that fact.
The nine-nine had been understaffed for about the last week. Rosa and Terry had been on a stakeout for the last two days, Boyle was at home. He along the likes of Genevieve and Nikolaj had all gotten a rare type of virus from some exotic bird that Jake wasnât entirely sure he could even pronounce. All three of them were fine, but Charles still needed a few more days before he would function again.
Then there was Scully and Hitchcock, there was nothing advertently off with them, but they were as useful as the chairs they sat in, if not less.Â
The lack of bodies seemed to be the main concern of Captain Holt who was basically forced to pawn his caseloads on other precincts, Jake, on the contrary, was beyond thrilled.
The lack of detectives made it all the easier for Jake to convince Holt to let his beautiful and brilliant wife help him on an undercover drug bust.
So there Jake stood, almost skipping in the hall, waiting for Amy to come out of the bathroom in the outfit he had chosen for her undercover personality to rock.
âJake...â The unsure voice of Amy rang from the bathroom Being at the end of the hall when she called, Jakeâs head peaked up like a little puppy as he made her way towards her.
âAre you sure this is what you want me to wear... It feels a little, um unprofessional,â With that Amy slid the door open with what was barely a crack. She leaned against the now-closed door, her body language slouched, her arms crossed in front of her like she was uncomfortable.
She had a skin-tight red dress on that was just a little too low, her hair was a curly mess that framed her face perfectly, her face caked on with more makeup then she thinks she had worn in her entire life.
Jake had to stop himself from oogling her because âdamn she looked goodâ.
âJake...?â Amy repeated with an annoyed tinge in her voice this time. He hasnât been so successful in his goal, realising that he had been staring at her for the last 30 seconds.
âUm yes,â He cleared his throat, shaking his head âYeah, you look super greatâ.
Amy just sighed, knowing that even though yes they did have a case, this was probably more for Jakeâs entertainment and maybe that could be fun on its own.
âSo, whatâs the mission?â
âPretty standard drug bust but the location is pretty trashyâ
âHintâs the outfitâ She gestured down.
âHmhâ
âAnd the cover-up?â
âRight Iâm Ron MkFlain and youâre Polly Hennaro, weâre from LA and want to buy some cocaine because the memories of the divorce and being stuck in that tower are just too much for us to handleâ He smiled smugly to himself like he had just had a stroke of genius.
Amy, however, was less entertained. She just blinked at him, a deadpanned expression. âYou just took the plot of the first Diehard movie and changed the first letters of the characterâs names, huh?â
Jake gave a cheeky grin.
âNo, absolutely notâ.
This elicited a child-like whine from him âWhy nootttt? Youâre breaking my heart, babe!â
Amy chuckled, rolling her eyes in a friendly manner as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling Jake into a hug âI have a better idea, what if-â Her voice bounced with every word as her fingers rubbed against the fabric of her husbandâs flannel âWeâre Jonny and Dora Veralto? Loving husband and wife for the last 5 years?â
Jake smiled, leaning down to peak her lips quickly, afraid Holt would protest their workplace PDA, âOkay, maybe you didnât break my heart after allâ.
prompt #80
Note: no-one asked for this. literally. No-one. but i reallly wanted to write okay đȘ. anyway please go suggest a drabble for me to write & enjoy:).
âNothing bad is going to happen baby, I promiseâ
âDaddy?â A small voice called from where the hallway and living room met.
Jakeâs head turned sharply in his daughterâs direction the second he heard the calling.
It was later into the evening, almost ten at the time. Jake had been up, trying to wrap up a case load that he couldnât seem to solve while simultaneously watching Diehard for the third time that week.
âWhatâs up, mandms?â He paused the tv screen, pushing this folders of work to the side as he stood up abruptly, walking in his childâs direction.
Almost instantaneously a smile consumed his expression. Emi leaned against the wall, a tiny yawn emerged as she attempted to rub the clear triedness from her eyes. Jake almost chuckled to himself when he saw her curly dark hair amess, and her pink pajamas shifted on her body from when he had tucked her in.
âGod,â The father though to himself, âShe looks so much like Amesâ.
âThereâs a monster in my closet! I canât sleep when there is a monster in my room!â
Jakeâs expression instantly softend, he couldnât argue with that logic, plus this was a pretty standard routine in the Peralta household.
Like many times before, Amy, now a captain, was on mission that lasted overnight. And while Jake knew that Emi liked to spend time with him, the four year old missed her mom.
He had never dismissed Emiâs blatant attempts for attention. He knew that she was way to smart to believe in actual monsters, afterall, Amy was her mother.
But he still entertained the proclaim, plus Pimemento had actually been hidding in Emiâs closet once.
He frowned slightly, leaning down to pick the little girl up âGood thing detective daddy is on the case! Nothing bad is going to happen baby, I promiseâ.
Jake lightly tickled her little belly, getting the littlest giggle in response that lit up his expression.
âLook,â He plopped Emi ontop of her mattress as he made his way over to her closet.
As he turned on the flashlight of his phone with one hand, the other swung the doors open, feeling his kid eye him from bwhind with anticipation.
âNo monsters, Emâ He shined the lights, revealing nothing but a perfectly organised closet curtesy of a one mrs Amy Santiago- Peralta.
Emi sat down, nodding her head in what was almost defeat.
âNow let me tuck you back in because it is wayyy past your bed time and mama is going be real mad if she finds out I let you stay up this lateâ.
âI wonât tell her, promise,â she let out a little squeak, which was an obvious lie because she told Amy everything, âBut I miss mommyâ her tone became sadder.
Jake sighed, nodding his head in agreement. âHere scoot your bootâ. He gestured for her to move, and of course, shed obeyed as Jake smooshed his way into her tiny twin sized bed.
Immediately, Emi clang to his side, burrowing her face into his neck.
âHey I miss her too but mama has a very important job to doâ He tried, but failed, to grasp her eyes, so he kept talking.
âWe both just need to go to bed and sheâll be here in the morning, okay? Then we can all go out to get ice cream?â
He looked down to kiss her forehead, ready to get up and let her be when she nearly screamed.
âNo! Daddy donât go!â
Jake just sank back to where he was, putting an arm around his little girl âOkay cool cool cool,â
He felt as Emi was content with his answer, shifting so she could fall asleep easier.
Meanwhile Peralta laid there, staring at the ceiling and smiling like an absolute idiot.
âI wonât leave, Baby... I never willâ
And he didnât. He waited until she fell asleep, but he was soon to follow.
It sure was a nice surprise for Amy when she came hone the next morning.
I feel like captain holt would be strongly against mock turtlenecks.
Drabble Challenge! #1 - 150
Rules: Followers send a number to your ask and you write a drabble using that sentence/prompt in your piece. Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!
Take the long way around
Can you shut up for five minutes, please???
Heâs been gone for quite a while
I canât see anything.
I heard a noise.
Scary movies are for chumps.
Youâve gone to the bathroom fifty times today.
The floor is lava.
Whereâs my food?
I bet you feel like an artist
Did you ever clean the attic?
Can I be of assistance?
Get out of the way before I murder you.
I think you forgot who wears the pants in this relationship
Youâre breaking my heart, babe.
Cry me a river.
Build a bridge.
Get over it.
Another credit card?!
Itâs just rain, you arenât gonna melt!
Whenâs the last time YOU cleaned the bathroom?
I donât know why I married you.
Have you ever lied to me?
If I trip over one more of your shoes, Iâm throwing them all away.
Arenât you supposed to be the adult?
Iâm stuck! Help me!
I swear, Iâm not scared.
What do you think a cupholder is for?
You know when your phone buzzes, it means Iâm trying to talk to you, right?
Turn that sh*t off!!!!
Whenâs that last time we went on a date?
I thought you didnât like cats?
The doorâs locked.
Remember when you were a kid and you ______ (insert memory)
Iâll just tell your mom on you.
I thought you were nice.
I had a dream about you.
I work pretty hard around here, but you get all the credit
What color do you like better?
Am I your husband or your taxi service?
Take notes, sweetheart.
This is where you impress me, right?
Pick up lines only work when Iâm drunk.
I canât believe you didnât remember
If that makes me a child, so be it.
I could beat you up, you know that right?
Would it kill you to help people?
I bet you canât go 24 hours without cussing.
But, I said I love you.
Is it just me or is cold as hell in here?
Iâm not weird, youâre just basic.
Just sleep with one eye open, thatâs all Iâm saying
Take off your shirt.
Whyâs there a pregnancy test in the trash?
Way to go, kid.
I found the candles, weâll be alright.
We could get struck by lightning, but you want to kiss in the rain.
Youâre never this quiet, whatâs wrong?
âŠor we could make outâŠ.
I said âI HAVE AN IDEA!â
Down the hall, second door on the left.
I warned you. He warned you. Your freaking mom warned you.
Sit still, for the love of all that is Holy.
Are you even human?
Weâll talk later.
K.
Iâm afraid.
I thought there was time.
Can you just leave me alone?
Iâll carry it.
Weâre not âfineâ.
Are you really taking his side right now?
I like proving you wrong.
Girls canât drive, plain and simple.
Who are you?
I think you need stitches
Must be a coincidence
Can you be romantic for once?
This is your fault by the way.
Nothing bad is going to happen, baby, I promise.
Excuse me for falling in love with you.
I have fans. More fans than you to be exact. Â
I paid for half and you ate three-quarters.
I knew youâd be mad.
If you die, Iâm going to kill you.
Youâve never smoked anything in your life.
You gave me a black eye.
Stop looking at me like that, weirdo.
What if it sinks?
Birds canât fly without wings.
Sorry Iâm protective over the things I love.
That SOOO classifies as a date.
No backsies.
Youâre an idiot. I married an idiot.
I never liked it, I lied.
Remember, we have to get up early tomorrow.
Are you trying to flirt? Because, youâre embarrassing yourself.
Remember when we were dating and you _____
Be brave, sweetheart.
Iâm sorry, but that was adorable.
You donât hate me, quit lying to yourself.
You hear that? Thatâs the sound of my awesomeness.
Sheâs my daughter, I can read her diary.
Thatâs a fact, Jack.
Actually, I couldnât care less.
I try my best.
Doesnât make a difference to me anyways.
Iâm glad youâre mine.
You look pretty good for your age.
You passed out for like an hour.
Delete it. Now.
Youâre a jerk.
Are you high?
No, youâre MY bitch.
Ew ew ew. Youâre so gross.
Spare change for the poor and lonely.
Sheâs 6, how can she scare you?
Whenâs the last time we ______
Heâs spoiled rotten.
I canât stay long.
Thereâs nothing we can do.
Do you ever stop smiling?
Step aside and watch a pro.
Never give him stuff like that!
Youâre the one who left it laying around.
Iâm a lucky girl. Iâll admit that.
Teach me how to play?
Itâs called a prank.
Well, youâre a prick.
Good, I hope you feel bad.
You have cold, youâre not dying.
I have reasons. You wouldnât get it.
I hope you have a cold shower.
You donât mean that.
Sing to me, please.
Did you enjoy yourself last night?
Why do they behave for you?
Stop making your own rules.
Donât open an umbrella in the house.
You know what happens when you assume things.
Thatâs open for discussion.
Oh, what a shocker, you have an excuse.
Be serious for two minutes, please.
I cheated.
Whatâs the biggest lie you ever told?
Pillows are over-rated.
Zombies arenât real, I promise.
Are we lost or do you know where we are?
We started with one and now we have seven. You have no chill.
*Make up your own*
Happy Writing! Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!
If anyone is reading this PLEASE send me a # or two! I really just want to write about Peraltiago and maybe their babies đ„șđ„ș
I hope dan goor starts season 7 of b99 with amy and jake making out, just to spite everyone who yelled at him last season for amy and jake not having one kiss.
B99 season 7 episodes
hi! so i havenât seen any lists of the titles for b99 episodes in season 7 so i decided to compile a list off all the ones i could find.
i dont know if these are all accurate or what, i got them off of spoilertv :)
07.01- manhunter
07.02- captain kim
07.03- pimemento
07.04- jimmy jab game ii
07.05- debbie
07.06- trying
07.07- ding dong
07.08- the takeaway
07.09-
07.10-
07.11-
07.12-
07.13-
if you find / know of anymore pleaaseee dm me so i can add it to the list.
Thank youuu
-elle
Concept one: amy & jakeâs first kid
amy finds out that sheâs pregnant a week after the events of season six finale
jake is scared shitless but overall super excited
amy makes sure that holt is imfored immediately. even though heâs not either of their supperiors anymore, his opinion is still vidal to jake (but almost entirely amy). when he hears the news heâs stonefaced as usual âiâm jazzed, canât you see the excitement spewing from my facial expression?â he stated to amyâs relief.
boyles finds out by accident in the bullpen after over hearing amy ask jake âcan you hand me the glue? i need to feel this holeâ to which he obviously responded with âtitle of your sex tape. waiiittt a second-â he wiggled the superglue around âcan we even have sex now? will i-â his voice lowered to a whisper âpoke the babyâ. charles promptly faints. rosa sees him on the floor and pieces it together immediately, âoh damn, youâre pregnant arent you?â she asked.
right before they have a gender reveal party, jake and amy realise that both of them have totally aposing views. jake thinks the baby is a girl while amy thinks its a boy. they make a bet that whoever is right will get to name the baby. turns out jake is right and the happy couple, along with all of the precinct and kylie find out the baby is a girl.
amyâs pregnant leaves her super emotional, especially when her pant suits stop fitting her. since sheâs a sargent she didnt need them for work but one low profile case that came spontaneously, jake was covering required her to wear one of jakeâs shirts aka the only thing that would fit her.
jake is so psyched every time he saw his pregnant wife come up to the bullput. He always pulled her aside with him where he would talk to her belly or make sure the baby was okay
Jake always âhigh-fivesâ the bump and when the baby kicks back for the first time, he sheds a few happy tears
late into the pregnancy, amyâs cravings take over and she has a â who can eat the grossest food combinationsâ contest with scully and hitchcock
terry and jake have a heart to heart once jake realised he was still terrified of becoming a dad
boyle plans the âbest baby shower everâ (his words) which he had been planning for nine years (also his words). gina comes back to help him and brings iggy who promptly chooses to hang out with jake the whole night and amy gets emotional when she sees him hanging out with iggy, the realisation of how perfect of a dad heâs going to be sets in. scully and hitchcock make the party weird some how.
one night, after reading an article about it, she asks jake to put a set of headphones with classical music to enrich the babies mind, on her bump. he instead plays diehard on a loop.
boyles constantly mentions how nikolaj could potentially date jakeâs daughter and they could finally be family and jake could be a part of the boyle clan!
before his daughter was born, jake runs into a case with doug judy (where charles mentions that he was the one who through the baby shower) and judy wishes jake the best of luck and leaves him with a bunch of baby supplies
amy and jake order their crib from a company called very good
at the end of season seven, amy joins jake in a low profile, and relatively safe stakeout as she wants to do a fun job before she takes her maternity leave. jake was really hesitant about her joining especially being only a week and a half from her due date but figures that theyâre just going to be in a hotel room.
they are in a nice hotel and terry and rosa are also there, on a completely different mission.
on the rosa/terry mission, their guy puts off a bomb which explodes with drugs meaning everyone is stuck in the hotel
turns out that the âbombâ was a cover up for amy and jakeâs guy who promptly escapes
fortunately, amy and jake were very far away from the accident. unfortunately, amyâs water breaks and she goes into labour stuck in the hotel
it was a complicated and tiring several hour birth on amyâs half and jake cant stop pacing even though terry is trying to calm him
rosa is the one that delivers the perfectly healthy baby to a very tired amy in a random hotel room.
as promised, jake is the one who gets to name the baby. amy expects something dumb and calls him dad for the first time when she looked down at her daughter and said âbaby im sorry but daddy is going to name you something stupidâ he canât stop grinning at his new title.
instead of what amy was expecting, a diehard theme name, he suggests the name Emilia. jake says that he has always liked that name and thought it was cute, he also snuck his way into amyâs baby name book and saw she circled it so he thought it was perfect. âoh and we can call her emi! i have my two dream girls now! amy and emi!â. amy instantaneously agrees with his choise.
emiâs middle name is rose as picked by amy. inspired by the woman who helped her come into the world. rosa cried a little when she was told the baby was named after her
boyles fainted when he saw emi, once he regained consciousnesses he started comparing everything he could, drawing out every single similarity between his best friend and new his daughter.
after she was born, jakeâs desk is litered with pictures of her. he also ahows the perps he catches pictures of emi he carries in his wallet from time to time because heâs so proud of his little girl.
emi laughs for the first time after jake shows the baby the video of the screaming goat
as emi grew up she called everyone in the precinct her aunts and uncles and (once again) captain holt, âgampa rayâ and âgampa kevinâ because after all they were the little girls godfathers. boyles suggused on a million occasions how he wanted to be emiâs god mother.
one night when emi was a few months old, amy overheard jake rocking his daughter saying âi promise iâll always be here and never be like my dad, kiddoâ.
Jake developed a very bad habit of calling himself âdaddyâ and amy âmommyâ absentmindedly. this only becomes apparent to the squad when jake says to amy âcan you get me some coffee, mommy?â which makes everyone uncomfortable.
when she grew up, emi had curly brown hair, the same as her father, and the sweetest, most intising brown eyes. she was super smart like her mom, but more in a troubling michevious way. She was a good mix of being super goofy and chill with an underlying maturity and seriousness that made her a unique child.
while she loved her mom to pieces, Emi was a diehard (ahaha) daddyâs girl and completely adored him especially since Amy got off of work later than him, emi and jake bonded alot.
but not as much as peralta loved and adored her.