His dad’s words aren’t supposed to do this.
The mantra that carried Riz through the Night Yorb battle, the reminder as he plotted his friends’ academic success. He couldn’t have the right conversations with Fig about Ayda, Adaine about Aelwyn, Kristen about Cassandra—
And now Kalina is back, and that somehow feels like his fault too, but guilt is not what Riz is sitting with right now.
No, he couldn’t have the right conversations, but he kept them alive to have those conversations with one another. And through his plans for college, he will keep them together.
It’s a hard job, though. The more he works on it, the more difficult it gets. Is that how it’s supposed to go?
Not for the fucking Rat Grinders, fighting the same enemies in the woods over and over again, three hours a day, nine hours on weekends. It’s infuriating, and even more so is the fact that Riz understands it. It’s work they’re doing to keep themselves together.
Riz sighs at the essay he’s started for Kristen. 10 pages on how she saved the world and revived a God. It would be easier to find a thesis if she had any kind of relationship with Cassandra—
But that would take too much work.
Riz loved Penny more than he loved the mystery of her, and he loves his friends more than their adventures together. His dad cracked that one; it’s not even a question for him anymore.
Riz stops writing the essay, at least for now.
He has to give his friends a chance to love him back.