Three stages of getting into Chinese Hanfu by 黄东耶
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@prettymuchobsessive
Three stages of getting into Chinese Hanfu by 黄东耶
Ning-ge’s new song is a bloody earworm. But the freaking Suo Na… 🤣 its another song i’d hesitate to play on the speaker when at work. 🙈🙈🙈
it’s ratlicker and big dog!!
My life is based on him (^◕ᴥ◕^)
Aaaaaaaaaaa been seeing rumours of Perfect Evidence (Zhang Ruoyun and Jiao Junyan) finally scheduled for airing???!!!!! After So Damn Many Years???!!! Ashdkfkgnbdhsvshfnf!!!
Oh, i remember this! No truck fucking, but also hard to explain...?
Basically, a lot of truckers feel VERY attached to their trucks, to the point where it's common for truckers to refer to them as their "first baby".
So, knowing this, this trucker's wife organised a photoshoot where her husband's "first baby" got to meet his "second baby". Kind of like those pregnancy photoshoots with dogs?
He thought it was great, and they shared it on social media trucker groups. In a turn i would not expect, a lot of other truckers got really emotional about it. Like, grown men cooing over a stranger's pregnancy photoshoot, going to their wives and asking if they can do something similar 🥺🥺🥺. All in all, strangely wholesome???
Ohhhh, the truck is the big brother :)
Like showing your baby bump to the family pet 🥺
THE CAT'S DAD ZORO!!!!!!
CORBEAU.
CORBEAU.
just wanna say i am a big fan of this trope specifically
kitty car 🐱
At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.
Man behind me having unhinged phone conversation. There is an internationally famous dairy in the area I was visiting and he was commissioned by the lady on the other end of the phone to collect specific cheeses from there. The lady is very high strung about the type and condition of the cheese.
The man does not know from cheese. The man "ain't never seen no cheese but orange before" and "I showed ya list to the cheese lady so if it's wrong it's her fault ok?"
I am 80% sure she sent him there for a really specific bleu cheese, 40% sure he does not have the very specific bleu cheese, and 100% sure he's done with her shit.
Our flight is delayed.
He does not have the cheeses in a cooler, just a regular backpack.
I need to emphasize that there is no cooler bag in the backpack. He has Jansport backpack that is jam-packed with cheeses. There is apparently $405 dollars worth of cheeses in that backpack, which I know because he has been trying to get the lady to venmo him the expense, which she has failed to do. It is unclear whether his relation to the lady is romantic, familial or what, but I'm leaning towards "what".
Two more people have joined us. One is a very elegant man with a perfect manicure in a tailored business suit, the other is a neon-haired person of indeterminate gender wearing a fox kirigumi. The Shiba Inu has been staring at the latter for three minutes now.
Uh oh.
Cheese man has been demanding payment because apparently he went like six hours out of his way and paid with his own money and between the cheese and price of gas, he is pretty sure he does not have enough money in his account for an Uber home.
The lady is FLABBERGASTED that he is demanding payment at all, as she was under the impression he was doing this for her out of the goodness of his heart.
He's not having it. He's insisting she told him she would pay him back- he would have gotten her maybe one cheese somewhere closer to his business in the area out of love, but he went out of his way because she agreed to pay him costs+ extra to cover it.
HE RECORDED THE CONVERSATION IN WHICH SHE PROMISED TO PAY FOR THE CHEESE, SHE'S THAT MUCH OF A FLAKE.
I am about to offer this man cash for some of these cheeses because our flight is now more delayed.
"YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME! NO! NO! FUCK YOU! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PAY ME, YOU DON'T GET FANCY CHEESE."
"OR ELSE WHAT?"
"I'm gonna-? THE BABY SHOWER? MONICA CAN'T EVEN HAVE THIS CHEESE SHE'S PREGNANT!"
"The cheese lady asked if it was for someone because the mushrooms or whatever in the cheese are dangerous for the baby or something?? You wanna poison Monica?"
"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?"
"YEAH OF COURSE I GOT THE CHEESE, THATS WHY I DON'T GOT MONEY FOR UBER!"
"YEAH, GO TELL! GO TELL MOMMA I STOPPED YOUR STUPID ASS FROM KILLING MONICA OR THE BABY! FUCK!"
*hangs up phone*
*head in hands, borderline hyperventilating*
The man in the three piece suit is in the chair next to him. He waits a moment, then reaches into his carryon and pulls out an entire bottle of wine with the TSA pre check sticker on it, and taps cheese guy on the shoulder.
"If your friend doesn't want it, would you be amenable to having it right now?"
Naturally, I have volunteered my box of wheat thins and offered to buy one of the harder cheeses which should be fine if it makes it home.
Meanwhile, Kirigumi has noticed that the Shiba Inu is staring at her and is correctly intimidated.
1. This is some fucking great Camembert. I have compensated cheese guy accordingly. So have like six other people. He's recouped like half his losses.
2. Cheese guy is crying a little about the cash and opening up about his problems. The cheese lady is his younger sister. Suit guy is being very generous with his Pinot Blanc. We are having a picnic/improv family therapy session.
3. This is apparently the latest in a long string of his sister asking for something and then flaking when he asks to be paid back. Started with paying him back only some of what he was owed, then claiming something she paid for him was of equal value when it was not, then recently telling him his memory is wrong and he said it was a gift or that he'd do it for free.
"Yeah, the specific thing of trying to convince you your memory is unreliable is called gaslighting and it's really fucked up." I say
"yeeeeah. The other stuff I forgave because she's never really had a good job so she can't pay me back all the time but at least she was making an effort y'know? But that was. That was over the line."
"If you haven't already, check on the rest of your family's finances. My brother started trying to gaslight everyone when he started stealing from our parents." Says Pinot Blanc.
4. Shiba Inu Lady has purchased a cheddar. Apparently, the dog's name is Donut, and he's her service dog because she's severely visually impaired.
"Oh, he's a guide dog?" Asks cheese guy.
"oh, no." She laughs. "He's too short, and the way my eyes are, it's easier for me to navigate with a cane. No, the problem I have is that some morally impaired people see the cane and think they can get away with stealing my bag or assaulting me because I wouldn't be able to give a description- which is wrong, but rather than deal with that I got Donut, and he helps me by howling at anyone who gets in my personal space and biting anyone who grabs me!"
"Uh." Says Kirigumi. "He's been staring at me do I need to back up or..?"
"Ohdear! No, no- He wasn't looking at you! He loves cheese but he knows he's not supposed to beg so he decided the way to deal with something he wants but can't have is to stare in the other direction."
"OKAY!" Says Kirigumi. "I'm wearing fox pajamas and thought like. He thought I was another dog or something."
"No, no- he doesn't care about dogs, and you get a warning before he goes for the calves. Very helpful, when I was living in Italy!"
"Oh what part? I have family in Tuscany." Says Pinot.
"Does he want a cheese? There is still so much cheese." Says cheese guy.
Plane may be arriving. I am paying for in flight WiFi to keep y'all updated.
1. Cheese guy has sold all but two or three cheeses that he an Pinot are going to eat on the flight.
2. I know they're planning to continue because Pinot talked to the gate agent so he and cheese guy can sit together and talk about family drama and cheese.
3. Pinot has been teaching him about different types of cheese and how to enjoy them.
4. Cheese guy apparently repairs computers and other technology devices for a living and is currently doing the software version of scraping barnacles and other crap off Pinot'macbook.
5. Pinot is now convinced that cheese guy is the smartest and most interesting man in the world.
me trying to explain how chinese names work for non-chinese writers: look its very simple. you must NEVER EVER EVER refer to anyone by their last name OR first name ALONE. this is a cardinal sin and will have you laughed out of the rednote comment section. The sequence is SURNAME FIRST NAME, and it is SACROSANCT. unless you're writing dialogue from the 21st century, then most people can refer to your character by their first name in conversation. but only if it's a two-character name. if the name is one character long, the surname HAS to be added, otherwise it sounds Weird. also this only works for dialogue, the narration must ALWAYS use the full name. that is, unless, mayhaps, you're writing about the classical-to-medival period, then historians will sometimes refer to people by their single-character given name. or the person in question will use their single-character name in the third person during a conversation. they will just throw that in when vibes are correct. also, in premodern china, its very common for women to be named shit like "Big [surname of father] or Little [surname of father]" based on birth order and this is the rare instance where the name goes before the surname. look its very self-explanatory, when in doubt you just need to go with your gut. now tune in tomorrow where i explain how courtesy names work--
#wait im chinese and idk this#maybe I need to read more c media#like irl (in sg) its just given name usually#never really really learnt abt courtesy names etc beyond a brief lesson#this is useful advice tho!!
@shrimpsicality dont worry man the courtesy name mainly applies to characters from Ye Olde Times. it started going out of fashion during the latter half of the 20th century, and is almost never used in the 21st century. so good news! you won't really need it unless you're preparing to get waist deep in the historical rpf/fantasy genres.
i, for one, think we should bring back the courtesy name. social interactions simply are not challenging enough, we need to add an extra spot quiz for every person we meet to keep it funky and fresh. the people of tumblr say they are sick of the Pronoun Circle. well, get ready for the Proper Noun Circle. I will be the one to reach across the aisle and come up with a decision that makes everyone equally aggravated. "here is the Backup Name I go by in public, and here is my Real Name. NEVER call me by this. EVER. not even if you're the fucking emperor. unless ☝️ you're older than me." i want the ability to revoke my name privileges. there are too many people in my life that i simply do not want to be Known by. people at work. hiring reps from networking events. everyone from highschool. people who ask to connect on linkedin. those fucking spam emails for services that i have no recollection of subscribing to, but inexplicably have my full name, blood type, zodiac sign and the last three digits of my social security number.*
A Chinese history text: "Big Honcho and Other Big Honcho had a severe falling out after the former referred to the latter in public by his name. This was an offense that Other Big Honcho would never forgive and which led to the fracturing of the Horse Alliance"
Me prior to getting into cdrama fandoms: What does this mean? It's his name? 🤨 Why would he get offended by being called by his name, what else would he call him??
Me after getting into cdrama fandoms: Ooooff big faux pas 😬 honestly Big Honcho was lucky that Other Big Honcho didn't challenge him a duel on the spot. RIP Horse Alliance they're never coming back from that one 😔
when a cultural activity easily allows you to let small children participate
alternatively, a child dragon being greeted by the clan
The gather to meet the youngling
Have y'all ever seen that video of elephants in a sanctuary absolutely booking it across the enclosure to meet the New Baby, because
I love how they're clearly walking in formation until one of them sees the baby dragon and then they immediately all run over.
A mouse mercenary, hired to escort an important diplomat through the mountains...
I love this weirdo!!!!
I love this flavor of Corbeau Content