Queer in Every Sense of the Word

gender is overrated • who/whom bc im in a perpetual identity crisis • but really, pick a pronoun, any pronoun • icon can be used with credit • ~{main: @showing0resultsforsanity}~

[starfoozle]

Well this is a new one.

[liberalsarecool]

This post is not about ballet.

[three--rings]

I had a friend whose spine never fully ossified because she started gymnastics at like 2 or 3. She went into dance and could touch the back of her head to the back of her knee.

She had knee surgery by the age of 16, ending any potential dance career due to an injury from cheerleading (which she never really wanted to do but was pressured into).

People spend their entire lives with complications from football injuries from grade school, including anger and impulse control problems from head injuries.

This isn't about keeping kids from doing harm to their bodies.

[sulagnamisra]

important addendum:

"how bad football is for the body"

[gumi-megpoidd]

I am whatever gender has the shortest line at the bathroom

[gumi-megpoidd]

No need I think

[maxi-is-not-well]

​I see this one going places

[gumi-megpoidd]

Yeah. The bathroom

[im-a-vertebrate]

ah but which bathroom

[gumi-megpoidd]

the one with the shortest line did you not read the post

[stars-bean]

Some Like It Hot (1959) dir. Billy Wilder

[anyroads]

#someone pointed out once that he chose his female name because he liked it#whereas the other man just picked the female version of his existing name#because it was easier and that was his main concern#lot of interesting gender stuff going on here

Oh yeah there was a lot of "Hayes Code be damned, all of us making this film are queer/friends with queers and we're going to have some fun with gender identity" in this film. That's why it still holds up. It's not a story based around getting a laugh out of dressing men up as women so they can be clowns - there's an integrity to the cross-dressing. Daphne is an identity Jerry realized he had when he put on a dress. Every time he chooses to keep his wig and outfit on and maintain his feminine mannerisms while alone with Joe, it shows his comfort in this identity, and it elicits laughter from the audience through the dialogue, ie. the audience isn't laughing at the fact that a man is in a dress, but at the characters as fleshed out characters and human beings. The laughter comes from the situations the characters are put in and their reactions to them, not from a parody of womanhood presented through a male perspective. Similarly, Osgood's classic line at the end of the film is an affirmation that he likes Jerry as he is, even if he's Daphne. It's a way of getting the audience to say, "this is fine, we're comfortable" through laughter to something socially unacceptable in its time.

Joe's masculine identity, meanwhile, is used to highlight his misogyny and force him to understand it (and the same with Jerry, but as he's less of a womanizer, there's less of a point to be made with him). In a world where men and women often had separate social circles that overlapped only when romance was on the table, putting a man like Joe in a female space where he's privy to the conversations and emotions that his actions elicit gives him a lot to contend with and understand because he can see the consequences of his actions as raw pain and secondhand, instead of as anger being spewed directly at him. Again, the joke isn't that he's a man in a dress, or that he's parodying womanhood, it's that as a selfish misogynist he's put in situations where he's forced to empathize with the experience of womanhood in order to convincingly enact it for his own safety.

There's a whole lot more to unpack in the metaphor of these two men having to pass as women because their lives are at stake if they don't.

[hi-im-dazey]

Okay so for one of my screenwriting and film studies sections I wrote a paper comparing the language of clothing and feminism from Wilder in two of his films, The Apartment and Some Like it Hot.

Now I am not going to spew out a wall of text on the subject or anything, but I did want to point out that he did not just "sneak things by" the code, he actually deliberately REFUSED to abide by it at all for this film, he willfully refused to even apply for the certification, he knew it wouldn't pass, and he knew he wouldn't bend to let it pass.

He and the studio took a gamble that a Wilder-Curtis-Lemmon-Monroe flick would do box office and get play without the "seal of approval" from the code folks.

And he was right.

[youareagoodperson]

thank you Canada 🇨🇦

[the-gimmick-hospital]

FUCK YEAH GO CANADA!!!

[prettyqueerandpolyglamorous]

I'm not really sure how to go about telling this story but I wanted to share it sooo I'm giving it a shot.

Last weekend I took a two-day course; this company that works on prop planes (as opposed to jets) holds a class a few times a year on jabiru engines. I did not expect this to be a source of gender euphoria for me, but lo and behold... (I probably owe it to the sick-ass cowboy hat I'd bought the day before and wore because I look fucking baller in it. but ANYWAY.)

Right off the bat, this lady who works there was showing in this woman who had signed up for the course. When they got within earshot, they said something about women – I can't remember exactly what, but it was something about there not being many women there. I do remember the next thing the lady said to the woman, which was "it actually looks like you're the only woman here." One, that meant that the lady, who'd I'd interacted with briefly while checking out the construction hangar, thought I was a dude, so, rad, but even better was how the woman she was showing in saw me and got this look on her face, half-raising her hand in aborted point, very clearly thinking, "but isn't- is that not..? but not saying anything. I just grinned and said hello as they passed, she smiled back, and that was that. That's all I want in life, really: people not knowing whether I'm this or that but just rolling with it.

The second day I dragged my mom with me when we broke for lunch because she knows the guys teaching the class and already I knew from my interactions with them that they'd be happy to have her around even though she was somehow convinced that she'd be intruding. I was right: they invited her to hang around for the rest of the day and she was then subject to some of the delightful joshing (I say that 100% sincerely) that had before been directed just at me as my parents' kid (again, my mom (and dad) know these people and work with them a lot). Throughout the rest of the day, when talking to others about me, she managed to not out me as afab once. That made my heart soar, because it's hard for her not to.

After everything wrapped up and we were driving back home, my mom told me she noticed that the head mechanic, who was one of the guys teaching (and the one doing 9...5% of the joshing) was very careful to avoid pronouns when talking to her about me. Which means either he also wasn't sure what I was (score) or, possibly, that he did know from prior discussions with my parents but realized upon seeing me that I was some sort of queer and making an effort to respect that. Now, the dude doesn't strike me as someone who's familiar with all that falls under the trans umbrella, so idk how likely it is that it's the 2nd option, but either way hearing that made me super happy cuz I'd already thought the dude was a delight and that was just like the cherry on top.

Those were the only things that happened directly relating to my gender over the course of the weekend, but I also really liked that I was able to experience the whole two day class, be around these strangers – these clean slates – without my gender ever becoming a part of it. None of the people seemed like the type to be familiar with queerness (sorry to assume) but my ambiguity didn't put them off or "other" me. They were just as friendly and struck up conversations with me. I got to just be me. It was so nice.

.

(I'd also like to, um, shout-out? the fact that none of the men ever talked down to the woman who was taking the class, nor did they seem to bat an eye at her wanting to work on her engine herself. Granted, I only have an outside perspective, but it seemed like they saw her as belonging there just as much as everyone else. That was really cool too.)

[victusinveritas]

[squishmelo]

It's real. Link to an article

[iwilleatyourenglish]

just wanted to note that Robert De Niro has always been an outspoken supporter of the LGBT+ community.

his father, Robert De Niro, Sr., was gay and he made a documentary called Remembering the Artist: Robert De Niro, Sr. that celebrated him, his art, and his identity in 2014.

[hyenabeanz]

My friend sent me this with a "this made me think of you."

I feel so seen.

[bumblebeebats]

i love when people are like “Oh my god, I couldn’t possibly imagine being asexual, how sad, you’re missing so much…” Bitch!!! You know what’s sad? Being gluten intolerant. If you placed two pills in front of me right now, one which would turn me allosexual and one which would enable me to tear into a freshly-baked oven-warm olive-and-rosemary ciabatta without utterly destroying my body, it would not even be a choice. “hyuhhh-duhhhh aren’t you worried you’ll die alone” aren’t you worried i’ll just launch myself over the bakery counter in our local grocery store one day and stuff croissants in my mouth like a starving racoon til i die and the whole place has to be closed down as a health risk while they peel my bloated body off the linoleum floor? You should be

[lorencethecat]

Polycule but it’s just two people in a romantic relationship with each other and their third who’s pretty obviously aroace but also somehow so deeply intertwined in their lives that it’d just be wrong to not count them as involved. Is this anything.

[rimonoroni]

three person poly relationship made up of two people who are already dating trying to coax someone with horrific self worth issues into a loving relationship. stray cat style

[rimonoroni]

they’re all laying together in bed and the couple are both thinking to themselves like good, he stayed the night to cuddle and talk when we offered, he should know that we genuinely care for him and want this to be more then a handful of one night stands. and the stray cat guy is like wow this sure is nice i think i’m falling in love with them. it’s really too bad that they don’t actually give a fuck and hate me and probably want to kill me with hammers for no reason

[rimonoroni]

it has been like. two days

[prettyqueerandpolyglamorous]

I'm awake at 3am bc I'm trying to, like, come to terms w the fact that my top surgeon did keyhole instead of a normal peri like I'd thought he was gonna do and like, lowkey-getting-higher concerned abt being left w extra skin when the swelling goes down.

like, you put "periareolar" on the intake form, you ask him during your phone consult whether some of the tattoo over your heart (ish) would get cut off cuz "I know you take out skin from around the areola" (paraphrasing) (he just said it wouldn't be affected), you even start explaining the procedure you came in to get when he talks to you before surgery cuz he asked you why you're here and you misunderstood the question (he just wanted verbal confirmation that I knew I was getting top surgery. the irony of this interaction is not lost on me.) - how could this go unclarified?!

I mean I wanted my areolas trimmed down a bit which obviously didn't happen but the more I sit w this the more I feel like that's rly not the biggest thing I have to worry about, is it? I never wanted keyhole bc on top of not being able to resize those suckers, it's so hard to sculpt everything well w such restricted access and you aren't taking away any of the skin that previously comfortably housed, y'know, an entire boob and I never thought my skin elasticity there was that great and the scarring only going partway around the areola seems to kinda make it/the nip to look a bit folded over a lot of the times and- this is gonna eat me up inside, isn't it? bc I won't rly know where things stand for another few months.

what the hell am I supposed to do? what lengths would he be willing to go to that could possibly rectify this? the only way I can think to remedy extra skin is to trim that shit off, which would basically require another whole-ass surgery bc there's no existing point to work from. there's no seam to take in. it's not like he's gonna be willing to do that for free. not to mention it's a 12hr drive to his practice.

its one thing for a surgery to not turn out the way you'd hoped but for it to have been a different surgical procedure altogether??

it took my aunt fucking dying and my mom divvying up her life insurance payout be able to afford surgery. I have no more dead aunts to pull from.

I'd at the very least like to know why he opted to do keyhole instead of a normal peri.

[lesbianhouseplant]

Ah yes, the 3 genders. Male, female, and “what the fuck are you, a cop?”

[aromoji]

Yikes

[yorksilk]

Nobody is lgbt. None of us.

[demoncourse]

the exclusionists have won. They’ve excluded everyone. My god.

[sunrisetune]

For reference, “allos” = “allosexual” = “anyone who isn’t asexual / isn’t on the asexual spectrum” so, according to whichever galaxy-brained exclusionist wrote the screenshotted post, no one who’s ace or who isn’t ace is LGBT. Not a single one of us

[castookmybees]

[that-house]

go home everyone lgbt is closed

[pudgy-planets]

Everyone has goth sex hormones it came free with your fucking existence.

[pudgy-planets]

BOTH I MEANT

BOTH

[prettyqueerandpolyglamorous]

mmmhm

[prettyqueerandpolyglamorous]

it's very strange to be like. waited on hand and foot, essentially. have someone else doing so many basic things for me like arranging pillows and opening car doors. bringing me food. it feels wronggg

[prettyqueerandpolyglamorous]

they stole my tits😔