Genitals Adjacent

Eclectic. Ebullient. Eternally emended. A little bit of whimsy, a lotta bit of smut.

[preyforplagues016]

Some adventures from 2018

[sapphire-n-emerald]

Jensen on pranking Misha.

Thing to note: - Jensen and Misha can totally finish each other’s sentences  - Jensen going home, laying on his bed, late at night and thinking of Misha. 

[preyforplagues016]

Cockles. Hell.

[preyforplagues016]

Apathy

[fiveleaf-blog1]

Abusers NEVER change! (personal)

I’ve said all of this aloud recently, but I feel like it needs to be written out so I can see it and go back to it every time I lose sight of the truth. I could put this in a journal, but something about putting it out here like this makes it hold more weight. And maybe someone will stumble across this and it’ll help them see the truth too.

I’ve been divorced before. I married young and knew from the beginning it wasn’t going to last. We made it 3 years. I wasn’t exactly heartbroken, but it took an emotional toll because he wasn’t a bad guy and there was no real reason it wasn’t working out. I just felt like I had failed. Anyway, we didn’t have kids together or anything, so it was fairly quick. I haven’t seen or heard from him since the day we signed the papers in 2008.

I’m getting divorced again. This time after 7 years of marriage. He’s abusive. It literally took me 7 years to figure that out because he never hit me. Never laid a hand on me. He tore me down verbally, mentally, and emotionally. It started early on in the relationship. It was simple stuff, like texts. Like that commercial, now that I think about it. https://youtu.be/h_r72v3LA44 Anyway, he would point out all of the ways my friends and family didn’t truly love me or care about me. Seems silly now, but you know what? I believed him after a while. The way he explained it made sense. He was charismatic and charming. Sweet. Loving. Gave me everything I asked for. Even if he was a little “intense” about the texts and phone calls. That’s how I explained it to everyone. He was “intense” and they just didn’t “get” him.

After he had me alienated from everyone, he would go on and on about how everyone had deserted us and we only had each other. Us against the world. And I bought into it like some starry-eyed moron.

We moved to a new state together to get a fresh start. That’s when things took a turn. I made a friend at my new job that thought our relationship was strange. She asked a lot of questions that I didn’t have good answers for, like why I never went out with them. And why he would call my cellphone and work phone repeatedly if I didn’t answer right away. So I went home and asked him about it. That was the first time he called me a “stupid fucking soft-brained bitch.” Every instinct in me said “run” but I had nowhere to go. Hundreds of miles from everyone I knew, most of whom would probably ignore my call/texts at that point anyway. And he said he was sorry. He was always sorry. He was sorry for 7 years. Told me it would never happen again. Every. Fucking. Time. After three years, I stopped crying those three to five nights a week that he would blow up about something. I was immune to it. I knew I was a worthless piece of shit. That’s why everyone left me, after all. Because I had nothing of value to offer them. And then, I got pregnant. I nearly left him about seven months into the pregnancy because he was telling me how fucking stupid I was for wanting to learn cupcake decorating with a girl from work. Apparently all those hormones had given me a backbone. I stayed, though. Because I was pregnant. And he was sorry. So, so sorry. After our son was born, things evened out for a few months. I was laid off on the day I was supposed to return from maternity leave. So instead of working, I was at home and easily accessible at all hours of the day. I answered every text. Every call. But eventually, I went back to work. And he went back to reminding me how fucking awful I was. I recorded one of his tirades once. It lasted for about 90 minutes. I played it for him the next day, hoping to open his eyes to what he was doing to me. Instead, he smashed my phone and accused me of gathering “evidence” against him in case I ever left. I got pregnant again and had our daughter. And oh my god, the postpartum depression was fucking horrible. Crippling. All those years of not crying finally caught up with me and I spent several months sobbing over anything he said to me. And then apologizing to him for being “too sensitive.”

Our daughter is 15 months now. Our son will be 5 in July. So why now? Why am I just now “woke” to the fact that I’ve been abused on a nearly daily basis for seven years? It’s because he did it in public at a Christmas party and strangers were quietly asking me if I needed help. It’s because he does it in front of our son, and I’ll be damned if my boy grows up thinking that that’s how you speak to women. It’s because my daughter isn’t quite old enough to fully comprehend everything, and I don’t want her to EVER believe that she should be spoken to like he speaks to me. It’s because he has a “friend” and I realized that I wasn’t mad that he may or may not be cheating; I was worried for her. I wanted warn her. You see, when we met, he told me all about his then wife and how she didn’t do shit around the house. They never had sex. She barely spoke to him. Ignored his calls and texts… And I felt so bad for him. We became friends. And once he left her, we started our relationship and I vowed that I would never treat him the way she did. Now, here it is, seven years later and I realized today: I’m his ex-wife. I’m the woman who is too beaten down and destroyed to want to do anything besides dishes and laundry. I’m the woman who shudders at the thought of having sex with him. I’m the woman who doesn’t answer his calls or texts. And his “friend” is me. She’s the next victim.

If anyone reads this and says “hey… this is like my relationship,” run. Run far. Run fast. It’s not “all in your head” as your abuser makes you believe. You’re not worthless. You’re being lied to. You’re being controlled. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER than what they’re giving you. Even if it only happened once, it’s still abuse and if they did it once, they’ll do it again. They always do.

I’m here for anyone that needs to talk. This shit is HARD! It’s a lot like being in a cult and trying to break free from the brainwashing. It is brainwashing, actually. You’re not alone, even if it feels that way.

[preyforplagues016]

Abuse comes in several forms. Take care of yourself and know the signs. ❤ you @fiveleaf ❤️

[bloodstained-porcelain-doll]

Reblog if you’d trust Misha Collins enough to get in a car with him on a dark Monday night.

Still trying to prove a point to my teacher.

[almostgloriouswhispers-blog]

Yep. I’d feel totally safe

[preyforplagues016]

He could gag me, blindfold me, and put me in the trunk on a dark, stormy Monday night, and I’d still trust him.

[bloodstained-porcelain-doll]

Kinky much? 😜

[preyforplagues016]

[bloodstained-porcelain-doll]

Reblog if you’d trust Misha Collins enough to get in a car with him on a dark Monday night.

Still trying to prove a point to my teacher.

[almostgloriouswhispers-blog]

Yep. I’d feel totally safe

[preyforplagues016]

He could gag me, blindfold me, and put me in the trunk on a dark, stormy Monday night, and I’d still trust him.

[lovecrimers]

Endverse Castiel is literally my own personal temptation created by both God & Satan to simultaneously cause me the utmost pleasure and the worst FUCKING PAIN.

[preyforplagues016]

[guhitsaglit]

If Cas was in “Regarding Dean”

[preyforplagues016]

[boykingdom]

dean’s hands shake.

they always have. they shake from fear–not during the fight, no, dad made sure his hands were steady when he held his gun. but they shake after, when he allows himself to swallow and realize just how afraid he had been.

they shake from drunkenness. sometimes so badly that he can hardly pick up the bottle to take another swig. he puts his head in them and can feel how they tremble while the familiar images flash in his mind–mom dying, sam dying, cas dying, everyone he loves dying, dying, dying and him being unable to stop it.

they shake from adrenaline. because cas is standing just a little too close, staring just a little too long. he should be used to it by now. and he is, in a way, but he can’t help but feel that they’re at the precipice of something huge. at the edge of a cliff that he’s one second from jumping off of. his hands shake because the words are on the tip of his tongue, pressing at the roof of his mouth to get out. his heart is beating too hard and he’s so close, they’re so close.

they shake from desire. the first time he touches cas’ hip, the knobs at the bottom of his spine. he’s nervous, and that’s not helping, but he’s never pressed his palms and run the pads of his fingers upon anything as breathtaking as cas. cas, who saved him. cas, who saves him everyday, who is saving him right now. he presses his mouth to the angel’s neck, willing his hands to be steady enough to undo the buttons on cas’ shirt.

in the aftermath, cas takes his hands. he kisses each knuckle and finger tip and looks at dean with love so clearly in his eyes that dean has to blink away the wetness forming in his own. peace rushes through him like he’s never felt before, filling his heart and his lungs. he lifts his hands to cas’ face, cradles his jaw, strokes his cheekbones with his thumbs. and look at that, he thinks to himself. perfectly fucking still.

[preyforplagues016]

Ok, cool. So it's like that? Alright.

[preyforplagues016]

Photo dump from my winter trip to Washington, D.C. a few years back.

[preyforplagues016]

Circa early 1950’s Two young men steal themselves away from the world to enjoy a tender kiss in the privacy of a photobooth in the 1950’s. The gentleman on the right is Mr. Joseph John Bertrund Belanger, an LGBT activist who was also a devoted collector of LGBT history, especially of AIDS-related materials of the mid-to-late 1980s. I can’t even tell you how much these photos warm my heart. Love will always win.

[dandelion-teabag-deactivated202]

Castiel ‘I don’t sweat under any circumstances’

[willowing-love]

Oh holy *bleep* *bleep* what the *bleep* are you *bleep* kidding me???

[zeeimpalaangel]

I could watch this forever

[solveiglyn]

#hotaf

[preyforplagues016]

Lady boner activated *Boioioioioing* Huh.

[chocolatedeathwarrior-deactivat]

How to be Completely Heterosexual:  An Illustrated Guide, by Dean Winchester

1.  Constantly prove your heterosexuality to everyone around you.  Once that’s out of the way, you can do whatever you want.

2.  Once you’ve proven your heterosexuality, it’s perfectly acceptable to occasionally check out or flirt with guys.  

No homo, though.

3.  Have a male friend with whom you share an abnormally “profound bond.”

4.  Stare sensually into his eyes a lot.

5.  Gaze at him with complete adoration, even when he isn’t looking.

6.  Occasionally, look at him like you want to jump his bones.

But, like, in a completely platonic way.

7.  Waste five minutes to talk about how annoyingly cute he is in the middle of a serious conversation about the apocalypse.

8.  Personal space is optional.  Because, you know, close platonic bros don’t need that sort of thing.

9.  Find excuses to touch him whenever possible.

10.  Casually imply you’d like to have sex with him.

Congratulations!  You are now completely straight!

[frecklesandfeathers]

bless you who made this 

[elioetoliver]

my non-supernatural watching friend looked over my shoulder and saw this and said: “I don’t even watch this show and I can see how much sexual tension they have. Even I ship it.”

[preyforplagues016]

[wildly-outspoken]

[novakian]

Visit Original Link

LOOK SUPERNATURALISTS, I WROTE YOU A SONG

Shut Up, Sam A Denial Song

I’m saving people, hunting things I like my gig, though it sometimes brings some complications, but Sammy, I swear that romance isn’t on that list why do you insist that I insist, for the thousandth time, there’s nothing there?

Sam, I don’t like Cas I mean, I know he’s got a really great— I mean no, he’s just a friend, we work together, for God’s sake! And yeah, he pulled me out of hell, but he did that for you, as well. Your point’s invalid and nothing’s gonna make me say something that’s not true.

Do, do, do, do Our bond’s platonic Do, do, do, do The flirting is ironic Do, do, do, do We’re not in love, shut up

Okay, he always comes for me but— Hey! Not like that, you pervy freak God, Sam, what the hell is your problem? I thought you were the mature one here. And honestly, we’re only friends It’s totally normal that he spends so much time with me, anyone can see, one look at us and it’s very clear that

Do, do, do, do Our bond’s platonic Do, do, do, do The flirting is ironic Do, do, do, do We’re not in love, shut up

And yeah, okay, I kept the coat But that’s no reason for you to gloat That wasn’t weird and anybody else would do the same. We only stand so close together Cause Cas doesn’t know any better He doesn’t understand personal space and I’m not to blame.

Do, do, do, do Our bond’s platonic Do, do, do, do The flirting is ironic Do, do, do, do We’re not in love, shut up

I don’t know where you’re getting this, I— No, dude, we’ve never kissed! We look at each other all the time? What, is eye contact now a crime? Sam, just cut it out, goddamn Why can’t you just understand that

Do, do, do, do Our bond’s platonic Do, do, do, do The flirting is ironic Do, do, do, do We’re not in love, shut up

Do, do, do, do Our bond’s platonic Do, do, do, do The flirting is ironic Do, do, do, do We’re not in love, shut up

EDIT: Here’s a link to an mp3. You can download it by right-clicking —> save as.

[anastiel]

I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard in my life. This is great! 

[cinnermanspyce]

OH MY FUCKING GOD. THERE ARE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE. YOU TWO ARE PERFECT

[maydei]

Deanial Tactic #1:

[preyforplagues016]

I draw boobs by imagining chicken cutlets and then drawing them.

[grafiktrafik-deactivated2021022]

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