"I may be crazy but that don’t make me wrong." - Marsha P. Johnson
Free Palestine!
[Header ID: a screenshot of Kayano Mikoto (榧野尊) in the MeMe music video from MILGRAM. He has brown hair with dyed blonde ends, and he is sitting on a green couch with his hands in his lap, smiling while singing at the camera.
Avatar ID: official art of Sakurai Haruka (櫻井遥) from MILGRAM from the collaboration with FavoteriA. He has blue hair with a flower crown and is smiling.]
We're a polyfragmented system and use both 'we/us' and 'I/me' to refer to ourselves.
We're developmentally, physically, and mentally disabled + deaf. We're Australian, Italian (specifically Neapolitan), English, and have South African and Zimbabwean heritage.
We support systems of all kinds and all LGBTQIA+ identities!!
Sometimes we'll be pretty childish on this blog, but sometimes we'll be kinky and horny. (Yes, we are an adult –_–). We often forget to tag warnings, so if you're uncomfortable with that, it's probably best to block us.
We use tone tags occasionally, but not consistently. If you want us to use tone tags when talking to you, please just ask! Also if we stop using tone tags for you, it's not intentional, it's just because we forgot. /genuine.
Tag for original posts: #♡
"어제도 내일도 나에겐 없는거야. It’s this moment, or no!"
Boundaries/guide for interacting with us:
If we're experiencing (a) delusion(s), please reality check us (politely).
If you think you know us IRL, please don't interact.
Do not directly message me without my explicit permission (exception: it's fine if we message you first, obviously lol)
Ask before tagging us in something (exception: headmates tagging other headmates + specific mutuals can tag us). Tagging stresses us out.
"I don't know why I am the way I am."
Heishi:
I'm the host and, to be clear, Heishi is not my real name.
I'm transmasc (he/him) and currently confused about my sexuality.
I'm a cinephile and my favourite actor is Millicent Simmonds. I fucking love her, she's so cool and amazing and she's the first Deaf actor I've ever seen. She was AMAZING in A Quiet Place, and even better in the sequel! As an aspiring Deaf actor myself, I really look up to her.
I love music so much! My favourite artists rn are boygenius, DECO*27, and Destroy Boys. My favourite song is Not Strong Enough by boygenius.
I ADORE MILGRAM by DECO*27. Kayano Mikoto (榧野尊) is my favourite character and Sakurai Haruka (櫻井遥) is my second favourite :D [smile].
Feel free to ask me questions about myself or our system! I love talking about myself lol.
"An ego set alight. A stray boy, justified. This life is mine!"
Links & our other blogs:
Folklore: @stood-on-the-cliffside-screaming
Star & headmates who don't front often enough to need their own blog: @stars-cool-blog
Star's build-a-headmate blog: @stars-bah
Emoji blog: @primadonna-emojis
Vent blog for Deaf and disabled people: @deaf-and-disabled-vents
Disability sideblog: @disabled-primadonna
Disability shout outs: @disability-shout-outs
Sideblog for our work-in-progress Magical Girl series: @primadonna-magical-girl
[ID: a banner of a collage of Till from Alien Stage. It is mostly red and black, with some white, grey, and pink. Among pieces of official art of Till, there is also the Sex Pistols' symbol, a skeleton, black and white spirals, and bits of news articles on punk, including one that reads "ARE YOUR KIDS TURNING PUNK? "Punk Rock" is today's angry attack on society. What will you do if your kids turn punk?" End ID]
Hey, could any Mū fans give me some advice/insight on Mū's worldview and way of thinking? I'm writing a fic which features her a lot, but I'm not really sure how to write her. Her perspective is so completely different from mine, I don't really know where to begin.
I’ve seen complaints that Mikoto is being OOC here, especially because of the way he says it:
(milgram-en)
Isn’t Mikoto just masking his feelings by being overly cheerful like he always has done? I swear, he does this literally all the time.
Yes, Mikoto is very concerned about how society perceives him, but I mean he just remembered killing 12 people. There really isn’t a spin that you can put on that one. Pretty sure he’s just pretending that he’s not scared out of his mind at this point because he knows he’s going to get the death penalty. Lmao
thinking about mikoto and the very complicated feelings one can have toward their surviving/lasting parent after they become a single parent for whatever reason...
like... you were the only parent i had to raise me, and i know it was very difficult to suddenly have to care for a whole family all by yourself. you worked so hard to make sure we had enough money and that everything kept rolling despite now having to basically do double the work with little if any help.
and i know you couldn't help our circumstances and that it wasn't really your fault but... Wow You Really Neglected Us And Took Your Pain And Frustration Out On Us And That Kinda Fucked Me Up And Made Me Resent You A Little. Or A Lottle. Or I Don't Know How Much. i just know there's a part of me that can't love you 🥴
liiike. fuuuuuuck. i owe you my life but you also kinda took it away. like literally. i have giant gaps in my memory because i can't remember.
but it wasn't really you who took it away, right? you can't help it. right? this is just how it has to be... right?? Right!
I'll Be The Perfect Child To Make Your Life Easier! This Is My Thank You Gift For Not Leaving! It Doesn't Matter If You Don't Notice How Well I'm Doing Or That You're Too Busy To Come To My Sports Events Or That You Forget About Me Because Of How Much You Have To Do! It's Okay! Because At Least I Know I'm Making Your Life Less Stressful! I'm Sorry For Existing! If I Could Stop To Make Your Life Easier I Would! No Don't Worry I'm Fine! See? I'm Perfect! Perfect. I'm Perfect.
Cannot put this down even tho I tried this earlier, and after looking through the MV, VD and report again, Mikoto seriously needs a major overhaul because he and everyone deserved better.
Report/Backstory
Changes to Mikoto's backstory isn't as happy as the original as it made out to be. He was told his father chose work over his family, but really Mikoto was put under stress from a young age to be successful instead of finding joy in hobbies and playing with friends. This led to abuse, both physically and emotionally and while Mikoto tried to be good because he loved his family and tried to be positive, this caused him to snap and hurt his dad back (possibly pushing him down the stairs or actually grabbing his baseball bat to hit him back and wouldn't stop). His dad was severely injured, and while questioning Mikoto, John manifested and took the blame as Mikoto couldn't believe he just tried to hurt his dad with the intent to kill. Since Mikoto was very young and there were signs of abuse on him and also Mikoto's mother, the divorce happened. Mikoto doesn't remember anything about the incident and the police interrogation, so he just took his mother's answer that his father left because he chose work over family as the truth. John remains dormant as Mikoto starts to live a stress free life and is friendly to everyone with his carefree and optimistic personality.
Eventually he gets into the design company he aimed for, and things just don't go well with him. Not just because he's slower to finish the work and keep making mistakes like the original report says, but the boss keeps expecting more from him, slowly reminding Mikoto of his dad as John starts to front for him. One night while getting home from work, Mikoto sees his boss coming out of a bar, laughing without a care in the world and declaring that everyone basically works for him. Seeing how he forced Mikoto to stay back at work every night while the boss went out to get plastered, he snapped again, grabbing a nearby bat or some sort of metal pipe to stalk his boss and bash him to death.
From then on, any irritations Mikoto felt made John come forth and deal with the problems for him, mistakenly thinking this was what Mikoto wanted and his need to not break apart from the stress he's going through. This is a nightly or once in a while thing after work instead of it all happening within 48 hours, but soon he's caught by the police, but was quickly whisked away to Milgram to be part of the project.
Third trial interrogation
(Please bear with me on my writing here as I try to be as accurate as I can)
At first it was believed John did disappear as promised if Mikoto is forgiven, but as it turned out...no, he fronted again as Mikoto starts to become distressed over what he could recall what John did. Since Es knows that LGBTQ is more accepted in 2025 while talking to Kazui, they also explain to Mikoto/John how their case of DID, despite still being a mystery, is more understood now. Like for example, John can't just disappear whenever he wishes, and that Es deduce John's origin must have come from Mikoto's childhood, thus explaining the murders must be to avoid trauma so Es was more forgiving this time after researching about Mikoto's case, while also explaining to Mikoto didn't do anything wrong and had no control over what John did.
However, John still doesn't want to front, but can feel Mikoto being in distress, while Mikoto, this time co-conscious with John, demands to know why John did all this now that he is kind of aware of his presence. Es tries to reassure the two that despite what John did, he did it to protect Mikoto, as that's what alters do - to protect themselves so then Mikoto could function normally in his life. How he did it made Mikoto get into the worse troubles, but John wanted to help because that's why he's here. John, not believing he's here to help Mikoto anymore, tries to disappear again (closest he could manage might be to be dormant maybe), and Mikoto then ask Es if he's really not a murderer, even though he now recalls this body was the one to deliver the fatal blows despite whoever was in control then. Es then ask if Mikoto wants to forgive himself if he is a murderer, and in extension, forgive John for it too. With that, Mikoto decides to think about it, but knew they're both responsible and will face whatever happens once they leave. Although he does wish to be able to meet John again properly if he's ever given the chance.
Requiem MV
Since the song keeps mentioning hide-and-seek and feeling like he's missing something, the MV starts with little Mikoto, bruised up and crying, feeling like he notice a presence but never finds him. He keeps looking around, but never finds that presence, who is John as he appears behind him to handle the threat who is Mikoto's father.
Mikoto wakes up on the train, confused about how he got on here before looking out the window, seeing his past life playing. It's of his childhood, but he notice another presence there, "himself," always watching but never interacting, yet looked like ready to pounce when needed. Mikoto has a happier life now, but as he continue to explore the train, each cart reveals the next part of his life and he sees himself when he got his job at the graphics design company. When he was getting home, he sees his boss coming out of the bar, laughing, causing Mikoto to snap and John fronted to deal with the stress for him, literally. The Mikoto on the train is appalled by what himself, or really John did, and how he meticulously took care of the body and any traces that could lead to him too, all to protect Mikoto as this continued on from time to time.
Mikoto is sickened, but as the lines play:
Just so I can make Me into Me
Oh my Me, please stay the same
Here’s to Me, just so I can make Me into Me
No one’s here, just forget about Me
Mikoto learns that John was trying to keep Mikoto safe and be his happy and optimistic self, while John is the one who carries all the negativity he couldn't handle, but now wishes for Mikoto to forget about him after causing him this much trouble. This is when Mikoto finally finds John, who quickly tries to run and hide in the train. John manages to lock himself away in the next compartment, separating himself from Mikoto even as he desperately tries to open the door separating them.
Hide-and-seek without you
It will never reach you, this good night
It’s not just for anyone, this requiem for someone
How is it that I can sing it
The train is nearing their final stop, and Mikoto, deciding he can't talk to John now, leaves to get off the train to face whatever is to come. The final shot is of Mikoto's back as he faces the police stranding before him, and the camera gets closer - leaving the viewers to interpret that as John joining him to take responsibility, face this together, or not.
I’m not going to act like Milgram is the most awesome literature master piece since Shakespeare. This isn’t anyway a post to convince anyone that the writing is amazing and undeserving of criticism. However, I fear many of y’all see one mistake in a work and treat the whole work as garbage needing to be thrown out.
I am definitely disappointed with Mikoto's case this trial a lot. Not as much with the DID rep (not saying it's good, nor bad just meh). I feel like making him kill 12 people was like kinda crazy you know? 1-3 maybe if they were stalkers or harassing him but just randos is kinda sad to see. I did see a theory on here about how the victims weren't random that was interesting.
I think a lot of people expected t3 to be the climax of the Milgram story compared to it being the falling action. Kinda leading to this constant t3 drama we have been having. In turn for thinking it was going to be the climax of the series y'all are expecting more and more story wise. Creating your own disappointment when it's not up to your theories.
Sometimes, I'm not going to lie were very out the blue. Such as Mahiru being in an arranged marriage. It was in the symbolism just too heavily, but I do think it fits Mahiru to forget such an important detail to talk about her love.
I do think Yamanaka focuses a lot on the characters would actually act or represent in the MVs. Personally, I love it because I just love people and how they act. I do think this character specific focus does take away from how the viewer is able to figure out the crime, especially by t2. I know for Shidou and Mahiru that after their death videos many people were upset with the crimes being overly vague in the MVs. To where they kinda needed a t3 MV to expand the crime details to their specific cases.
Yamanaka also tries to make us as the audience think about the crimes in a wider context. Yuno's case is kinda the first one that comes to mind here, as she was put under the abortion debate when she just has a miscarriage. It does work in many of the cases. In other cases like Mahiru's and Mikoto's it's too wide. Trying to be ambiguous with Mahiru's lead to this out of left field case file. With Mikoto's case being too ambiguous about his DID in the case file and not explaining if John came from childhood trauma or just work stress. Leading to so many more questions than answers.
Anyways, please don't harass Yamanaka or the staff. You are no better than Fuuta who you criticize to bits.
My bestie didn't want to proof read my yap so bare with me and my filtered thoughts.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Hippie church moms donating quinoa chips to my local food bank have done more for me materially than any internet idealist ever has.
People get pissed at me for being a pragmatist in my political ideals but I’ve been in the position where I was out of food right now.
And who helped me with that? Not people calling for some nebulous revolution. Not people telling me that the system was useless. Not people preaching at me to grow my own food. It was a church food bank partially funded by the state of Texas that some southern hippies donated a bunch of Whole Foods nonsense to.
And you know what? I’m sick and tired of defeatism. What can we get done right now, huh? Are you gonna accept something a bit better to help people right now or are you waiting for your perfect utopia to come to you?
Yeah, UBI is better than the quinoa chips. Sure. But right now the quinoa chips are stopping people from going hungry and if all we can do is get the food bank quinoa chips to more people, then I say so be it. That’s something. I’ll almost always take baby steps over nothing.
"It's not because they have DID- they likely would have done it regardless, but the DID could maybe prevent the memory. It's really not that complicated."
『お前のためにやってやるよ！』 @primadonna-sys - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
