Prince Mellificus on tumblr.hell

Mellmo.31. He/Him. Wannabe Internet Jester. Trying to get back into art, dabbling in photography. Openly Emotional. 18+ only please

[princemellificus]

Yeah it would be my luck that when I feel ready to start drawing again, that my laptop won't charge 🙃🙃🙃

[princemellificus]

I do not consider myself a very spiritual person but regardless, this feels like a very convenient coincidence. Yesterday while I was leaving the grocery store, I happened to find this sticker in an empty cart:

I know that this quote is translated from the NIV edition, one of the most ubiquitously published versions of the (Christian) Bible. However, being that this is a verse from the Book of Psalms, I know that I can look up this verse on Sefaria and look at the different editions of the Tanakh to see how it's been translated there. Here's the JPS 1917 edition of Psalm 71:14 for comparison:

I got to reading the whole psalm, and in the moment I found it to be compelling.

I wonder if, in this peculiar way, if Hashem is telling me to not lose hope in my life, even if things have been feeling like they're spiraling further out of control...

[staticbluue]

“People should pass a test before being allowed to have kids.” “Isn’t it scary how white people have this inborn capacity for evil?” “I’ll never pass because males and females have different skull shapes.” “Autistic people have a stronger sense of justice than anyone else.” “I don’t want AMABs in my space because they’re dangerous.” “You shouldn’t have access to hormones if you dress like THAT.” “Anyone who does something that awful isn’t human.” “Some people really shouldn’t be allowed to vote.”

This is eugenics. This is phrenology. THIS IS NAZI SHIT, YOU ARE A LEFTIST BUYING INTO NAZI SHIT. YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO NAZI SHIT.

[princemellificus]

There's still time to share this video, happy 4th everyone 🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅

[princemellificus]

Little sketches of some (vaguely) familiar faces

[princemellificus]

My fiancee is finally home. She asked for the day off today so we're just hanging out together and taking it easy.

My brain is just a screenshot of the wife guy posts on r/ambien rn

[princemellificus]

I deleted all of my vent art from this account. I feel like I'm just bringing everything down more than I already have by just making text posts about my feelings. I'm sorry that I'm just so consistently miserable

[princemellificus]

My fiancee has been out of state since Tuesday and won't be home until Sunday or Monday. It's the first time since the 10 years we've been together that she's been gone for more than a day. It's been pretty hard trying to get through it. 🫠🫠🫠

[princemellificus]

Those clouds I was experimenting with ended up becoming a whole entire drawing!

[princemellificus]

Experimenting with drawing clouds with colored pencils

[princemellificus]

Inspired by a friend's folk pride art, I wanted to try my hand at making versions of some Calabrian embroidery in my pride colors 🌈🌈! The pattern I referenced was from this ozaturu.

[princemellificus]

I realized that my stuff isn't completely organized, so I'm trying to reorganize my tags.

Art work should now be under #my art

Photos should now be under #my photos

[princemellificus]

How do I fall in love with making art again? How do I even fall in love with making art in the first place? I feel like I never really learned how.

I want to make art. I feel like maybe I do enjoy it, somewhere deep down. It's also just that, creating art was and is still a form of communication for me. I am autistic, I know I am someone who is not easy to like. Learning to make art was a way for me to bridge a connection with people in ways I typically wasn't able to.

I know it's a bad mentality to have. That I must create for my own sake. Though, how do you do anything for yourself when you were shown growing up how little the people around you valued you? How do I speak when I feel like nothing I think or believe is worth saying, and that everyone else knows this too? How do I value my own thoughts? How do I value my own work? How do I make things for my own sake when I was not really shown that I was worth the effort?

[princemellificus]

I know the answer is to just do it anyway. To push through the doubt and self loathing. To fake it 'til you make it. To do things, even if no one notices. God knows I've had times that I've tried.

But when is it enough? When will the faking it ever be making it for me? When will I be worth seeing?

Again, how am I supposed to value myself and my art when no one else seems to value me?

[princemellificus]

How do I fall in love with making art again? How do I even fall in love with making art in the first place? I feel like I never really learned how.

I want to make art. I feel like maybe I do enjoy it, somewhere deep down. It's also just that, creating art was and is still a form of communication for me. I am autistic, I know I am someone who is not easy to like. Learning to make art was a way for me to bridge a connection with people in ways I typically wasn't able to.

I know it's a bad mentality to have. That I must create for my own sake. Though, how do you do anything for yourself when you were shown growing up how little the people around you valued you? How do I speak when I feel like nothing I think or believe is worth saying, and that everyone else knows this too? How do I value my own thoughts? How do I value my own work? How do I make things for my own sake when I was not really shown that I was worth the effort?

[animaltestings]

i'm like if a hedonist didn't derive pleasure out of anything

[princemellificus]

"I'm not really afraid of needles" - me, caught lying to myself roughly a year ago

[princemellificus]

Redwood sorrel, the ground cover for an old forest