Kiana Khansmith
gracie abrams
Noah Kahan
Cosmic Funnies
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
d e v o n
taylor price
One Nice Bug Per Day
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Sade Olutola
#extradirty
if i look back, i am lost
Show & Tell
Cosimo Galluzzi
Doug Jones
Origami Around
Discoholic 🪩
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Love Begins
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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@princessbertha
This doesn't make sense!
You don’t look like you gained any weight.Â
Aw, you're a sweetie! But if I gain any more weight, I might not fit into my favourite turquoise cashmere sweater, and that's the only thing that goes with the shoes I just bought, and do you know how expensive they were?
This doesn't make sense!
Well, despite the nuisance, not to worry. If you did in fact gain weight, eating well and exercising for the next week or two should help balance you out.
I did, trust me. I even weighed myself.
Honestly, if I get sick, I should at least get something out of it. The world just isn't fair.
This doesn't make sense!
I’m sorry you were vomiting. But at least you’re not now? That’s a good thing!Â
Well, yes, perhaps, but it's not a good thing I gained two pounds! I'll just have to stick closer to my diet.Â
This doesn't make sense!
Stomach bug? That’s unfortunate. The very least a sickness should do is assist in the weight category. It’s only fair. I’m sorry to hear you weren’t so lucky.
Exactly! You'd think I would lose weight, right? I practically didn't eat for days, I shouldn't gain weight. Honestly!
This doesn't make sense!
Are you feeling better, though?
Yeah. I got three new colours of nail polish and a Gladrags gift card, so I guess that makes up for the two pounds.
I Have A Couple Of Ideas
We can go with those, or if you’d like to supply some of your own…
We should probably go with your ideas. I'm almost failing Transfiguration, so my ideas would be absolutely dreadful, honestly.
This doesn't make sense!
How could I be vomiting for a week and gain two pounds? I should be five pounds lighter at least!
Has anyone seen a tortoise around?
No, no, that won’t work. I can’t tell if she - or he - is lying through writing! I have to talk to Fabian, get him to admit it!
How’re you going to get him to do that?
I don't know. I'll interrogate him. He'll crack under the pressure. Like an egg!
Hey, you!
Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Cause, like, I don’t really want to sound like a mother - heaven knows I’d just die if people thought I sounded like my mother - but if you meant it as a compliment I guess it’s okay.
Uhm, yeah. It’s a great thing.
No, it’s not! This is bad. I don’t want to remind people of their mothers! How am I ever going to get a boyfriend if I remind him of his mother? Nobody wants to date someone who reminds them of their mother! Nobody even wants to be around someone who reminds them of their mother! This is terrible!
Hey, you!
Well, take my advice and relieve your stress with maybe some mints or something. Much better for the breath. And maybe it’s a good thing you ran out. You should really quit, you know.
You sound like my mum.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Cause, like, I don't really want to sound like a mother - heaven knows I'd just die if people thought I sounded like my mother - but if you meant it as a compliment I guess it's okay.
Oh. Yeah, I know. I met a hippie once, you know. And my mother’s sister’s husband’s aunt was a hippie. How do you meditate? That’s just sitting down and thinking, right?
I didn’t meet many. My mom didn’t use to bring her friends home because Petunia was afraid of its...
Ew. I can understand why Petunia was scared of them. That sounds so hard! How are you supposed to do that? Have you ever done that?
Hey, you!
Ew, no. They make your breath smell something dreadful, you know.
Stress relief, dear. Besides, I’m not smoking as much as I used to. I’m only asking because I ran out.
Well, take my advice and relieve your stress with maybe some mints or something. Much better for the breath. And maybe it's a good thing you ran out. You should really quit, you know.
Is your mom a hippie? Oh. So … what’s your Zen? How do you know what your Zen is? How do you define a state of mind? My state of mind is me.
She used to be, before I was born. You know, sixties. I believe it’s the state of mind you get after some deep meditation. I don’t know how it is because I’ve never tried to meditate.Â
Oh. Yeah, I know. I met a hippie once, you know. And my mother's sister's husband's aunt was a hippie. How do you meditate? That's just sitting down and thinking, right?
Ruining people’s Zen? Don’t be silly! It’s a harmless little toy. How would it ruin my Zen? … What is my Zen? What if I don’t have a Zen?
It’s a hippie thing! My mom understands is better than I do. Everyone has a zen, or at least everyone could have it. It’s a state of mind.Â
Is your mom a hippie? Oh. So ... what's your Zen? How do you know what your Zen is? How do you define a state of mind? My state of mind is me.
Hey, you!
You got a fag?
Ew, no. They make your breath smell something dreadful, you know.
Well, once I was sad once and it turned blue! The chart said blue meant I was relaxed, but it’s a pretty sad colour so I think that counts.
I’ve never really had one. Mom didn’t like them very much. Something about ruining people’s zen and that.Â
Ruining people's Zen? Don't be silly! It's a harmless little toy. How would it ruin my Zen? ... What is my Zen? What if I don't have a Zen?
