âSometimes the most corrupt people are the ones who seem the most piousâ
I canât even seem to find the words to explain this because Iâm overwhelmed with emotion. But Iâll try. Perhaps this may benefit someone in a similar situation or give another person the courage to speak up, as no one did for me.
Exactly a year ago, on this very day, my stalker came to an event I was hosting at my university. He sat in the audience watching me and I had immediately noticed him but I tried to ignore it while I was speaking. By the time the event ended, around 9 pm, I didnât see him around so I felt a bit relieved and naively thought that it was safe for me to head home. While I was walking to my car, he cornered me in an isolated hallway. I remember the feeling of fear and confusion. And I vividly remember all the threats.
âI will make your life miserableâ
âYou donât know what I can doâ
âDo you think anyone will ever take your word over an Imamâs?â
âYouâre a foolish little girlâ
âNever underestimate someone who works for Allahâ
And for what? Why? All because I didnât return his advances. For five years this man, the Imam of my masjid, had been stalking me and harrassing me. And wallahi there was not even one instance in that five years where I had ever entertained him.
It started when I first moved here. On my very first day in the community, I remember he approached my mother and I and introduced himself which we didnât find unusual. Then a few weeks later, I started getting random texts from an unknown # and I found out it was him. Somehow he had gotten my number and as soon as I realized it was him I instantly felt strange and would NEVER respond. This would make him angry and in return, heâd message things like âWhy donât you respond?â âWhy donât you like me?â This would happen repeatedly until I would finally respond with an âIâm sorry Iâve been very busyâ.
I was 15 at the time and although I couldnât understand why he would be texting me, I kept telling myself âHeâs an Imam, youâre overthinking this!â He then started calling me late in the evening or messaging me during the school day asking if he could pick me up early and take me out. Again, I refused all of these advances but was left absolutely confused by his actions.
At the time, my father had to work across the country and we would only see him once every few months. I was living in a new town in a completely different state with my mother and younger siblings. Wallahi, so as to not burden or add any stress on my mother, I kept my doubts about this man to myself. I kept telling myself that I was mistaken and despite the fact that all of this didnât make sense to me, that I needed to âmake 70 excuses for himâ. But again, I was only a naive 15 year old who had a very sheltered upbringing. I saw red flags but my naivety blinded me from the reality of what was going on.
Over the next four years, this man would text my friends while impersonating me (using a texting app), he would show up to places I was at, tell me how everyone in the community, including my friends at the masjid hated me, and just a number of other messed up things. He would tell me that someone did black magic on me and that a jinn was harassing me. I admit, I was naive for believing any of this but I could not understand why someone âof the deenâ (as he called himself) would want to hurt me? Any time a brother approached me for marriage, he would intervene and would tell them absolute lies about me (which my parents were later informed of). And the list goes on. The point is, I kept quiet because I was unsure of whether I was overthinking or misinterpreting his actions because in my mind he was an âImamâ and would never do such things for the wrong reasons. Any time I expressed to him that I was feeling uncomfortable or didnât want him to contact me, he would follow up with a âHow dare you question me? Do you know who I am? Wallah, you are a fool. Wallah, you are crazy. Wallah, you will pay for trying to ruin my reputation.â
Other teens, both brothers and sisters, would notice how the Imam was treating me. Any time any of them tried to intervene, he would play the âMan of Deenâ card. He would manipulate all of us using his authority and the religion to keep us quiet. He used to threaten some of the brothers my age by saying âI know what you did last night. I have a jinn who whispers things to meâ anytime they tried to intervene.
For FIVE years this man harassed me. And after the night he showed up to my uni event, I finally decided to tell my parents. I finally realized that I wasnât overthinking or âcorruptâ (as he would call me anytime I tried to question him). When I told my parents, Alhamdulilah they immediately believed me and decided to take things to the masjid. However, of course, the masjid could not act on my words alone and so they had to hear his side as well. In his true manipulative fashion, he said absolutely terrible things about me and my character. He slandered my name and said the worst of the worst things. He had the audacity to say that I came to him for help and that he was acting as an âelder brotherâ looking out for me. He told people that I was suicidal (!) and wanted to run away with some guy who my parents wouldnât allow me to marry (WALLAHI this is untrue). And he even spread the rumor that my father would beat me so I was afraid of him (âwhich is why I was lying and trying to cover up the situationâ according to him). He knew exactly what to say to convince everyone that I was in the wrong and to save his face.
While all of this was going on, I felt so weak and oppressed. Yes, I had my parents but I felt that people of my community doubted my character and my integrity when I was innocent. It was my word again his. A little girl (though I was already 20 at the time) vs the well-respected Imam of our community. There were days were I could not stop crying and days I could not get myself to eat. I was so stressed and confused as to why this was happening. I was very involved with my masjid and had never given them a reason to doubt me, so why now, when I was coming with such a serious claim, did they turn their backs on me? I felt betrayed, angry, confused, but most importantly, oppressed. And throughout this time, I would make one particular duaa. âMay Allah grant me justice against those who have oppressed meâ.
There were times where I thought to myself âMaybe I shouldnât have spoken up and just quietly dealt with his harassment on my ownâ. I didnât want to create problems for my family or even for my community for that matter. But I swear by Allah, what got me through was the thought that âThis could be happening to someone else, who is weaker or doesnât have the support at home, or the ability to reject his advances. What if itâs an even younger girl? Or a revert?â. I kept telling myself that Allah has given me a voice to speak and a mind to think for those that canât. It was my responsibility to speak the truth regardless of what other people thought of me, no matter how scared I was.Â
While all of this was happening, there was one sister who knew the complete truth about what was going on. She had all the evidence and was someone I had confided in for the previous five years. She was someone I considered my best friend and trusted with my life. And when the time came for her to present the evidence, she was too scared. While I wonât go into more detail, all I can say is that the person whom I would have given my life for, abandoned me and allowed for my name and reputation to be dragged through the mud, despite knowing of my innocence. She knew the truth, had evidence that could âsaveâ me yet she chose to keep silent. She was a witness to all the threats and injustices against me but instead, she hid the truth.
Despite all of this, when even the closest person to me had left me, Allah saved me. Wallahi, things got so bad to the point that I considered running away to escape the stress and trauma. I swear to you that Allah created a path for me where there was none. And not only that, but He granted me an outcome that I could have never imagined. Alhamdulilah. Alhamdulilah. Alhamdulilah. Allah granted me my justice and even more. Alhamdulilah.Â
I am sharing this in the hopes that even one of you may benefit from my story. It took five years, but Allah delivered on his promise and granted me ease. Allah answered my duaas and granted me justice against all of those who had oppressed me. I want you to know, if youâre losing faith, struggling, or in a situation that you feel has no solution, then know that Wallahi I felt the same way. I want you to hang in there and keep praying to Allah because I promise to you, He is listening and that after your hardship there will be ease. I have witnessed it myself. May Allah ease all of your worries, struggles, and sadness. May He replace it with His mercy, blessings, and all that is good in this world and the next. Ameen.
The last thing I want to stress is that it is your duty to speak the truth even when it is difficult for you. Someone may suffer the consequences of your selfishness/negligence in a matter as serious as this. As long as you are doing what is right, have no fear for Allah is with you. And even if the whole world were to gather together in order to harm you, they would not be able to if Allah is with you. Â
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