( This is a quite big meta?? on 3x17/Finn and Kol. I just saw a lot of people discussing it and I felt the need to voice my thoughts. )
I've seen a lot of people talking about how ridiculous it was for Freya and Elijah to choose Finn over Kol, about how their reaction to Finn's death shouldn't have been as heartbreaking as it was because they barely blinked when Kol died, but what you guys aren't getting is that Finn and Kol mean two very different things.
We've seen from flashbacks that when they were human, the Mikaelson siblings loved each other, we've seen even Finn and Elijah who were teens playing together, and they all ganging up on Finn, the eldest to tackle him. Finn represents that love, he is the one who knew them at their most pure, and it is a shame that we were never given more of those little scenes, that we weren't given more of a teenager Finn helping out his baby siblings. But still, Finn was also a younger brother to someone he knew was alive somewhere! That had been taken away from him. That had ABANDONED him. His fear of being alone was already there when they were human, but it became much more present once they turned. Because that's what happens when you become a vampire.
The Mikaelsons had their personality traits pretty well defined, and we were able to see it even with them as humans, but once they were turned, it came out even more. And my theory is that it scared Finn. Because he saw Kol and Klaus, both hot-headed, both quick to jump to conclusions become even more volatile. He saw Elijah becoming even more of a control freak, and Rebekah having her dreams of a perfect family destroyed, making her cynical and petty. Finn was supposed to hate them. Because while humans those traits made them special, made them who they were, but as vampires it made them monsters!
He mentioned on 3x17 that he anchored them! He reminded them of being human! Rebekah herself mentioned either in TVD or TO season one, I'm not really sure that Klaus kept Finn daggered simply because he couldn't stand his judgement. Judgement of Klaus' actions as a vampire! Finn was their humanity, and they kept it locked in a coffin for 900 years. Despite that, once his mother brought him back in TVD, I believe, and this is just me speculating, that he was only loyal to her because she wanted to end their lives. Because she wanted to 'save' them from being beasts. And that's where I get to my point.
Finn is said to be the Noble Mikaelson. Elijah took the post because Finn was daggered, but Finn is the one who's loyalty can be trusted. If you give him a reason to trust you, he will do anything in his power to help you. Even die for you, a.k.a being willing to die to complete Esther's spell in TVD.
But with Kol, things are different. Kol is presented to us as being a rebel, as being an even more immature Klaus. I say immature in the sense that Kol didn't have, or didn't control his hunger, or even his other abilities as a vampire. He did what he wanted, when he wanted, to hell with everyone else.
And his reason for being like that is far less significant than Klaus'. I don't like to say I think Kol was just being petty, but I'm not sure how else to describe it. The reason we were given to his behaviour was that he didn't want to become a vampire, he liked being a witch so he went around the world terrorizing witches, and making dark objects so he could feel closer to magic, and when he didn't get his way he either killed the witches or locked them up in a cursed house.
Kol is meant to be cunning, he is meant to represent the Mikaelsons' ability to talk themselves out of trouble, to be slick and witty. He is meant to be seen as a non-trustful person. His own siblings see him as a wily fox. He is shown many times jumping to conclusions, getting himself killed ( by going after Elena/white oak in TVD ) because of a reckless move, making deals with people in order to save his own skin. He is shown to us as being less trust-worthy than Klaus.
Even his mother, Esther knew about Kol's lack of 'morals' and only entrusted 'serious business' to Finn. And in the end it got her killed as well. However, like with all the Mikaelsons, Kol feels deeply for his family, he loves them but he feel neglected by them, which brings out another childish trait of his. He is an attention seeker. He'll do anything to piss of his siblings, in a childish, endearing way of saying ' love me , pay attention to me ', making himself appear like the youngest sibling, even if Rebekah is the youngest one.
Kol and Finn were the only ones who weren't included in the ' always and forever ' thing the rest of their siblings had. And while Kol felt betrayed and left out, Finn felt true loneliness and heart-break. They are both very different people. Thus I get to the real point I'm trying to make here.
In the situation they are in, with the prophecy and countless enemies flooding NOLA, Elijah and Freya are alone to face them, and then all of the sudden, Kol is back as a vampire which in the beginning sounds amazing, but as we've seen Kol is not himself lately. And then, Finn just sprouts up out of nowhere, and they have almost the whole family together. Kol and Finn spark hope and fear in both Elijah and Freya, because either they'll help them win this potential war, or they will fall with them.
However, they didn't really chose Finn. At least Elijah didn't. Elijah chose himself. Finn wasn't just talking about himself when he said that no one should have to live forever, he was talking about Elijah, and all the happiness he has already sacrificed for Klaus and Rebekah, he is talking about the heavy burden Elijah has been carrying for such a long time. And Elijah knows this, he knows what Finn means, he understands. He chose himself for once, letting Finn take the blame for it! Elijah has expressed many times that he would do anything for Klaus and Rebekah, he was willing to die for Rebekah when Klaus was hell-bent on killing her. He is not afraid to die, in fact I think he kind of wants to, however he is afraid to leave his siblings alone. He is afraid of leaving them unprotected. But with Finn here, it could be a possibility in the future for him to die and leave his younger siblings protected by none other than Finn, the strongest vampire around at the time.
Now, their deaths. When Kol died, he had been cursed by Finn not to body jump anymore. He could not leave Kaleb's body until he died in it. Which Finn aided by giving whatever disease he gave Kol. It was the move of a desperate, crazy man exploiting the fear of his younger sibling. Something Finn knew would work on Kol, something Finn knew would terrify him. And I hated him for doing so, but I don't think my issue is with what Finn did but more on how Yussef portrayed Finn, but that's another story. Anyway, once Kol died as a witch, he went to where the ancestors were. He wasn't completely dead for a witch could bring him back with the right spell and the right amount of energy. Kol's death was not final. Freya, Elijah, Rebekah and Klaus had hopes of getting him back soon.
With Finn things are different. Finn was cursed to be forever in the body of a vampire. He was cursed to live forever, until forever ends. He wouldn't be able to get his happy ending, he'd have to live as a beast as he himself said. However, he knew he would never die, because his siblings would burn the white oak and so on.
When Lucien bit him, they got to see Finn as he truly is. Finn, the frightened, lonely man who was abandoned by the family he loved, who went insane for being alone so long, the man who was terrified of closing his eyes and waking up back in a dark box. They got to see what they did to him. He was begging them not to leave them alone, he begged them to stay with him and that touched each Mikaelson in a different way.
Elijah saw someone he had failed. He saw the tip of his big brother's suffering, he saw what his complacence with Klaus did to someone he had loved in the past. Freya saw her baby brother, scared, in pain and just so hurt by his other siblings, and she felt useless. She couldn't do anything to help easy his pain other than tell him that she was there. And Kol, Kol was disturbed, even with the curse and as he tried to mock Finn, I felt a very weird nervous vibe in him, as if he wasn't sure of what to do other than try to provoke Finn, try to get him to do anything other than plead and cry. When Klaus got there and gave Finn his blood, I could literally see the relief in their faces. Like you could see the relief as they thought Finn would be fine, Klaus even cracked a joke for fuck sake, he was joking around with the brother he claimed to hate the most! And then shit hit the fan, the blood didn't work.
The moment Finn coughed the blood back up, Klaus was the one to freak out. He was the one to say "Finn! Finn!" he was the one to go on panic mode first. Even Kol, who previously sat on the sofa across from Finn got up and went to stand by Finn's feet. Even Kol, who was under a curse that amplified every emotion he had, felt a little bit of something for his suffering brother.
And then he died. He died and you could see Elijah closing his eyes as if someone has just punched him in the gut, Klaus looking defeated, Freya heartbroken and Kol shedding a tear. Now why such a reaction? Why did they look so lost once Finn died when they barely reacted to Kol's death? Because Finn is never coming back! Finn was cursed to his body, his vampire body until he died, Davina marked him so he wouldn't be able to body jump for eternity. Her curse was far more wicked than Finn's. Finn's death was final. It means that he is never coming back to them, and they know that. Kol knows that. That's why he cried.
Kol's death was sad, but his siblings knew that they would be able to bring him back eventually. Finn's death devastated them all because they knew there was no way of getting him back. They'd have to live eternity without their brother. And even if they died, they wouldn't meet him again because there is no more 'other side', there is no ancestors for them. It's just a black abyss, an abyss that Finn is probably terrified and alone into.
