a little cute bubble

Claudia | she/her | mainly studyblr, partially my life & thoughts | all welcome, with love 🥰

[probably-just-a-human]

from now on... ✨

24•01•21

Hello everyone - it's me, after a looong break!

I'm here because I'm going to change something and I'm really proud of myself for doing so 💖

For past year and a half I was studying at one of the top universities in my country. I was proud of that but the price I've paid for this was too high for me - I've paid with my mental health. This uni took my incredibly deep love and passion for Norway and crushed it like it's nothing.

I was telling myself that I'm strong enough, my highschool was the best one in the part of country I was living in back then, so I'm able to survive the best college as well. But... Am I willing to anymore?? Does it meets my values??

For the past year and a half I barely had time for anything besides studying. Like, really. I'm not even speaking about going out at weekend - I'm talking doing some self care at Sunday evening.

Not so long ago my professor told me, that I'm one of the best students on my major. Cute. Week later I was standing on a bridge, trying to commit my second suicide attempt.

I'm on meds and it's hard. I'm terrified but at this same time I KNOW that this change will help me to have a better life. A normal one at least...

I'm changing university, but most likely I'll stay on this same major.

AND LET ME TELL YOU I CAN'T WAIT!!!

So, I'm back, I'm ready to be in a better place. I truly can't wait 💕

With love, Claudia 💗

[probably-just-a-human]

✨ oh, saturday sun - I met someone - don't care what it costs - no ray of sunlight's ever lost ✨

08•09•20

So let's start with how the reality of my summer job differs from my expectations 😬

Since I have started working, everything in my life has fallen apart. My work out routine died, my motivation to fulfill my passions gone, I had no energy and don't let me start on my mental health. In shortcut - there was almost no employees there, we were constantly working overtime and pressure was incomprehensible.

Anyway - today was the last day for me and I'm infinitely grateful to leave that place 💓

Right now I'm getting myself up off the ground - setting plans, getting back to what really matters to me and having some sweet fun I've been lacking for s o o o long!

Plus I'm coming back on uni in month and a half, so I still have some time to revise & slay that stuff once I'm back 🔥

Hope U all doing great - take a sip of water, relax your shoulders and remember - you're loved and beyond enough❣️

[probably-just-a-human]

✨ I shoulder every burden, every disadvantage I have learned to manage ✨

02'08'20

This week was crazy - luckily in the good way!

I've got myself a summer job (finally!) as a waitress in local chocolate bar

I went to pay a quick visit to my grandparents, before I'll start working and it was lovely 🥰

I've studied Norwegian A LOT - for fun, I got my borrowed old workbook out and started to read it through, making notes and just, ya know, revising 🙌🏽

In between I was hitting the gym and running like crazy, collecting documents to my new job, organising clothes and in general - being quite busy 😅

Anyway - I'm excited for upcoming week, with all the new stuff I'm going to experience 💖

[probably-just-a-human]

✨ even when nobody else believes - I'm not goin' down so easily - so don't give up on me ✨

29'07'20

Yes, I haven't posted on Sunday. Time flown by, stuff happened, but hey - I've survived and now I can be here 😁

What's new??// What am I doing??:

I have changed my nutrition. I actually started to eat more healthy/clean. It was a big issue in my life as long as my memory reaches. Not particularly diet, more kind of "new life style" I think 🌱

I am regularly hitting the gym, AM NOT EVEN KIDDING! I still don't know how I, myself, managed to drag me there and actually made it something I'm doing almost everyday, but... hey, I've liked it a lot in the end, so profit, I guess 💪🏽

I'm struggling with studying rn 😅 I mean - I'm still doing it, but it's more sluggish than I would like it to be... Anyway - working on this one, soon should get it better 💖

It has been busy and overwhelming time lately. I think I, somehow and hopefully, worked it out a little bit.

Well, see you soon, beautiful souls. Stay hydrated and remember to rest, when you need it 🥰

[probably-just-a-human]

✨ I'm Coming Back ✨

Hello, wonderful souls!~

A lot has happened recently. This quarantine changed me enormously - I've learned many things, both beautiful and painful. But now - I'm back here, refreshed and ready to post 💓

My head is full of new ideas on what to do and how to do it. I still have studying to do - need to take one exam second time and - besides - I still want to improve my language skills on my own ✨ Of course - it's still summer time, so I decided not to go overboard with cramming - I already did SO MUCH this academic year, so naturally I need to take some time and relax.

Finally I've decided to post once a week - complete all of my tasks and present quick summary by the end of the week 🥰

Anyway - glad to be back and we'll see soon ❣️

~ much love

[probably-just-a-human]

It’s been 3 years since God decided to give me a second chance... I’m honestly grateful for all I’ve got since - for those whole 3 years with all the ups and downs and everything in between And I just wanted for all of you to know - it is worth it to stay. To stay on this planet a little bit longer; to be a little bit stronger and braver. Don’t quit, wonderful one - this life has some incredible wonders in store for you. Hold on - you are loved, you are needed and you are definetly worth it <3

[probably-just-a-human]

Does anyone remember my last post? Yeah...

So I’ve decided that I have nothing to wait for. It is my life and life’s short. Gotta shot my shots and see what will happen. Might risk a little - might risk a lot - I’ll never know if I’ll never try~ I was waiting for life to happen to me for many years, denyig all that was setting my soul on fire, because I felt like I must fulfill ambitions of other people. I don’t want this light to fade away again. I want to go on an adventure called “My life but instead of wishing it to be certain way and daydreaming about it I at least try to make it real and have some damn fun”

I deeply believe, that life is beautiful. It can be rough, it can be hard, but still it is extremly beautiful - you just need to choose it. And I’m choosing it.

I’m going to have so much fun and learn so many lessons and I honestly can’t wait <3 I’m going to change a world - at least one of them

[probably-just-a-human]

I swear, as quickly as I'll get my bachelor's/master's degree am just gonna disappear I'm gonna shot my shots and try things that actually make me happy. Imma change my number and go ahead to explore the world the way I want. Peace out, am on my way to  catch opportunities

[probably-just-a-human]

✨ now that I broke these chains that held me down - I'm brave and I'm ready ✨

30•04•20

It has been a long and a really good week 😁

I still feel behind in my uni work (even tho I've worked quite much on it in past days) but I've been working something personal and I can't be more proud of the results 💪🏼

And... I wanted to talk about this, even if not many people will see this.

Everyone of us has personal monsters to fight. Typically, we tend to hush them down or suffer in silence - I've been doing this for literal y e a r s.

But since I reached my 18th birthday, I've decided to challenge myself and change things in my life.

One of things on my list was a childhood trauma of mine I rarely spoke about to anyone. Many of my closest friend haven't idea about this because 1) it was silly 2) it was too much for me to handle, especially to tell it out loud.

I've been working on it for the past two months. It has been hard, not gonna lie, it got me harsh, but all of this was TOTALLY WORTH IT ❣️

And now I feel like fireworks. I feel healed. I feel like all of this weight was took from my soul. I feel like I've did the hardest thing I could did so far, for myself. I feel that, if I was able to achieve this, I can manage to do anything 🌻

I did it myself. Probably shouldn't, probably should see a therapist... But I did it, and thank God, that I haven't hurt myself even worse 😅 It is a work that nobody will ever see, but I will feel eternal.

It feels like a warm and tight hug for this little and helpless girl I was back then. It feels like a loving talk with this child, who cries and felt so deeply confused and scared...

What I mean is - if you have something heavy on your chest, you should definitely go and reach out for help - it will be uncomfortable, but oh, how wonderful it's going to be afterwards - like favourite ice-cream on a sunny day 🥰

In conclusion - I'm happy, proud and motivated to break next limits in my life!

I hope U guys feel amazing as well 💓 Take care, much love to everyone~

[probably-just-a-human]

✨ 'cause your happiness don't need a censor - just mind your own and we'll keep owning it ✨

23•04•20

Well, isn't that me, back on medication, motivated and ready to slay?? ✨

To be honest I'm feeling so much better. I'm still under enormous pressure but I manage.

Plus I decided to list all the things that helped me recently:

catching some sun in garden + getting tan (I'm tanning really easily) 🌻

taking some physical care of myself. Am seriously guilty about this one, as I wasn't really carrying about my nails, hair, and skin that much. Turns out that getting on point boost mood A LOT 🥰

cutting down some of social medias/sorting and cleaning content, that they show me ✨ Some people are acting toxic and as much as I wish them well, I don't need their energy

doing LOTS of notes and asking. Revising, rewriting, searching, reading and remembering ❣️

And now something for you all, beautiful beings:

DON'T YOU GIVE UP, HONEY 💛 Take care, drink water, listen to some pumping up music, take a breath, do something fun and be strong 💪🏼

Hold on, it's gonna be alright, I promise 🌺 You're already really brave and I'm greatly proud of you!

Much love, sweethearts 💓

[probably-just-a-human]

✨ you're enough, you're enough, you're enough, I promise you ✨

19•04•20

I'm trying to find sensitivity in my heart.

For few days I've been rather fooling around. This wasn't however happy kind of fooling. I was trying not to fall apart between work, that needs to be done and overwhelming feeling, telling me that I am unable to bear all of this.

I've studied a little. Did important projects and send emails. Did some notes, revised couple lectures. Still it is just a tip of massive iceberg, consisting of enormous work and probably too many study sessions.

Good thing I've planned and divided this work (not all of it!) for whole week. We'll see how it goes...

Right now I feel really down. And that's okay. I probably need more time to take it easy and rebuild my confidence. What about hug, cup of tee, encouraging words and positive memes?? Yeah, definitely need them too!

[probably-just-a-human]

✨ Baby, we were born with fire and gold in our eyes, eyes ✨

15•04•20

I'm not even marking a challenge days counter - not really important right now.

It's been a while. Life's challenging and impressing in many ways.

I've been thinking a lot lately. About many, many things. I couldn't find myself in all of this. Tried but was pretty helpless.

Since I started college life's got me rough. My hormone economy went out of window <- this, to be honest, messed up all my months, starting with September till this day. This wasn't "college experience" I've been thinking about for all these years but I decide I'll manage. Actually, after sleepless nights, crying sessions and questioning half of my existence, but I've decided.

You see, since nothing went in any good way I didn't felt like it's worth it. Failing is good to our growth but when you're falling constantly, you just start to wither.

So I came up with a new idea - let life do it's job. And from this moment on take risks, do all I can do myself, have some joy and try everything I feel deeply inside is good 🌻

Soooo

I started to work more efficiently. Since I think about my work more like a funny thing to do, it became so much easier. Plus, I enjoy it more ✨

I started to say what I think & feel, out loud, more

Am trying to be more in present, to become more mindful

Recently told a fantastic human being, that's she's really important to me 💓

I, FINALLY, fought off something, that has been terrorising me for the past ten years 💪🏼

I've took my hormones after a break. Needed them, definitely

I figured out that we all are wandering blind in the mist. We shouldn't be afraid of our mistakes nor ashamed of them. What we should is to be more brave, because it really pays off ❣️

Anyway, right now I just want to put as much love in my life, relationships, job and world as I'm able 🥰

At the end, that's the only thing I can do and surely I believe that's just enough 🌈

[probably-just-a-human]

As you all can see, I'm currently not active, even if I've previously started my productivity challenge.

To be honest the whole quarantine thing got me hard with procrastination and my "one day of a break" been... well, quite long 😅

I was working but wasn't really consequent. Did few photos for posts, nevertheless never posted them.

Right now I've stucked with rather large pile of work I REALLY NEED to do and therefore I'll stay off the internet as much as it's possible.

I don't know when I'll be back on this blog. There's higher possibility to see me on my other two blogs (mentioned them in my first post).

Anyway, hope y'all doing great 💓 Take care, be careful, give yourself some love and stay strong - we're going to get through this 💪🏼

much love, my lovely beings 💛

[probably-just-a-human]

✨ when the bones are good, the rest don't matter ✨

25'03'20 • 03/100

I actually did things today, quite some of them 😊

I've made twice the amount of smoothie, so my sister could have it as well

Carefully, I've processed 2 lectures, that I've been quickly revising yesterday, made notes out of them and did few exercises ✨

I UNDERSTOOD new issues from Norwegian gramma and, as well, did exercises

I've read another lectures and, again, too shallow, so need to reread them tommorow

Not to brag but I did really good on our e-learning session today and Professor distinguished me twice 💪🏼

I also, this time, took my meds and drank enough water, so I'm quite proud of myself 💛

QUICK NOTE: It's Corona Time™, so nothing big is happening in my life. I've decided to cut posting a little bit and make one post every 3rd day (containing all 3 previous days). Just for you know!

Stay safe, people, big hug from me to y'all 💓

[probably-just-a-human]

✨ I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map, and knew that somehow I could find my way back ✨

24'03'20 • 02/100

It wasn't that productive day, at least not as productive as I wished it to be...

I've washed floors, so my mom could actually rest after work

I looked up on my presentations but it was so sketchy from my side, that I doubt if I'll remember anything

I re-found music I was listening to back in middle schools and I've got pretty nostalgic to be honest 😅

Anyway, there are two reminders for all of you and for me as well because I did mistakes today and feel kinda guilty about it:

TAKE 👏🏽 YOUR 👏🏽 MEDS 👏🏽 - it is easy to forget it, especially when timetable turn to dust while quarantine time. Do not forget them, my love. Your health matters ❣️

DRINK 👏🏽 YOUR 👏🏽 WATER 👏🏽 - I've been wondering almost all day long, why on earth do I feel so bad?? Besides the meds, that I haven't took, I was running on 5 cups of light coffee and no water. NOT even a CUP of water. Big mistake, don't do that. Drink your water honey 💛

I hope you all feeling good today. Take care, precious souls 💓🌻

[probably-just-a-human]

no matter how dark the night gets - I will try to be the brightest

23'03'20 • 01/100

Life on quarantine isn't the easiest one but we trying ✨

Actually, it was pretty stressful day as I answered lots of mails and was trying to gather together all of the info I haven't cared about through the weekend - partially because I cleaned everything around me, partially because I was seriously scared to take the responsibility of it all 🤷🏽‍♀️

But anyways:

I've answered ALL of the e-mails I've got from my university and am really proud of this ☺️

I've done notes from Knowledge of Language lecture today, which is THE SAME DAY WE ACHIEVED MATERIALS WOOOOO 🎉🎉

I've corrected my German tale and finally sent it to professor

Finally, I'm heading to answer my Norwegian lecturer about mistakes from my recent homework cuz', boi oh boi, what is even gramma???

Small victories, am I right??

I really hope this lock-down time is going to pass quickly - I'm dying to come home (rn I stay at my parents' house) and see my lovely friends again 😭💓

Take care, luv u all 💛🌻

[probably-just-a-human]

hei, hi, hello, beautiful people ❣️

This is my first post on this blog (renewed one). I'm really grateful to start all of this and curious, where this journey will lead me ✨

But let me start with several things:

Who am I??

I am 19-something years old language student - Norwegian to be specific, with some German language as well. Endlessly discovering this world and myself. As a hobby I'm trying new things and searching for ultimate fusion of what-i-love + what-i-have-talent-for. I love books, hot beverages, walks in misty forests, chill/lofi music, doing things for their aesthetic, having some fun in this life and give others as much positive vibe™ as I am able 🌻

What is this blog about??

My plan is to make this one something between life style blog and studyblr. Probably I'll post some of my thoughts from time to time. We'll see how it'll work out...

Why am I doing this??

Never in my life I was consistent or ended up stuff I've started. I want to try to be, at least a little bit, more consequent with my work, motivate myself and share piece of my life with world (or, to be honest, few folks, who'd follow).

Beside this I just want to have some fun with it 🤷🏽‍♀️ And if I'm going to inspire someone or simply put smile on someone's face - a big win for me 🥰

Some of you, who followed me earlier on, remember this place differently - recently I decided to change a few things here and there. Don't worry - all the previous stuff I have moved to two another blogs that belong to me:

@messyandchessy for fandoms and memes related stuff

@bubblerepostshere for rest of posts I've reposted/am reposting

Can't wait to jump into this "adventure" and see what it's going to give me!

much love 💛