probably not the bible

[probablynotthebible]

title? T it Le.  Le tit. what.

I need to get back into this. Whatever this is.  Or whatever it isn’t.  Because yeezus.  Time is flying by with the force of a great typhoon and I’m 30 and holy shit it’s almost November.  

*SOME SENSE OF URGENCY TO DO SOMETHING URGENTLY* 

but it’s also 11pm PST. so... 

A REAL LIFE REACTION (happening in real time):

*Put silk pajama top on, not the bottoms because i’m sitting in my living room and the air conditioning HAS LIMITS OKAY.  I’m 30, I respect limits.  So I’m not wearing the pajama bottoms, but I am also a grown ass A-DULT  and don’t like wearing pants anywhooo.  

So in conclusion.  Good night. 

[probablynotthebible]

living with my ex: DAY 17 ------ i broke the dryer

That awkward post-breakup moment where you transform from girlfriend to HOT freeloading roommate... so you’re trying to be super respectful of his stuff... and then you accidentally break the dryer vis a vis too many wet socks. 

Up until ten minutes ago, my non-domestic abilities were a non-issue situation.  Two things were all i had to uphold in terms of house rules. TWO.

HOUSE RULES: 

1) DO NOT break essential household appliances 2) DO NOT eat the last box of Nut Thins

So naturally, in a moment of stress-induced hunger, I went straight for the stash of Nut Thins kept conveniently out of my reach on the top shelf- and inhaled the entire box while staring down our asshole broken dryer. 

Perhaps someday I will find the comedy in this, but first I must find a new apartment.. like right about ten minutes ago. 

[probablynotthebible]

BONUS EPISODE: What is Art? (With A Thousand Things to Talk About)

We are incredibly thrilled to release a bonus episode with our friend, Andrea Parrish, at A Thousand Things to Talk About! This daily podcast is the perfect start to your morning, with a brief 2-3 minute episode with thought-provoking questions and research. A Thousand Things to Talk About also offers the occasional "deep dive," and we're so excited to be a part of this one-- What is Art? It's a question that seems simple, but in reality, is it?Listen here, and subscribe and review A Thousand Things to Talk About. Follow the show at the links below! And don't forget to SUBSCRIBE and REVIEW our show along the way, too!@musetopics on Twitter@musetopics on Instagram@musetopics on FacebookWant more art-historical goodness? Check out the links below:The Art Story on DadaThe New York Times: Is it Art? Is it Good? And Who Says So?The Brooklyn Rail: Is it Possible to Define Art? Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy: The Definition of ArtFirst Principles: The Treasonous Clerk: St. Augustine and the Meaning of ArtBook recommendation: Mosche Barasch, Modern Theories of Art 2: From Impressionism to KandinskyMoMA: "But is it Art?" Constantin Brancusi vs. the United StatesObscenity Case Files: Miller vs. CaliforniaArt on Trial: The Arts, the 1st Amendment, and the Courts

[probablynotthebible]

To the powers that be: feeling like my shorts are ablaze.

For no real reason I can muster.  I just feel anxiety creeping up all over the place  Like this fear that I’m somehow forgetting Life Priority Numero Uno and going to get fucked in the rearski by the powers that be.  But I guess with that comes the need to trust that I am doing the best that I can and that if I’ve gotten this far, I shouldn’t be afraid of what’s next.  

BUT DUDE I’M KINDA FEELING A BIT DESPERATE.  Throw me a sign, or a bone, or a nugget/pearl/tidbit that affirms I’m cruising in the general direction of ‘ALRIGHT’ and I’ll chill out probably, I promise.  

A man.  The women.  Amen.  

[probablynotthebible]

you know that ass-up, stretchy pre-pounce thing cats do? yeah, i’m not stuck- I'm just doing that.

I’ve felt in a rut.  My ass is up in the air for sure.  I want to make life moves, but haven’t.  Except my ass.  It’s up there.  Ready.  

[probablynotthebible]

[probablynotthebible]

Why Read Your Horoscope When You Can Read Your Whole Birth Chart? - Man Repeller

Everything you need to know to read your astrology birth chart.

[probablynotthebible]

book rx: feelings of stuck-ness

A master creator in conversation with his own memoir.  If this tale of living your life’s purpose to the fullest doesn’t ruffle the feathers of your creative soul- you don’t have one probably. 

[probablynotthebible]

almost 30 and angsty AF

Like a teenager.  What is my purpose- can someone PLEASE just poke me in the eye already and tell me what the point of this is?  

That’s how I’ve felt lately.  And trying not to feel currently.  The purpose of life, a translator of the Dahli Lama once told me on a plane, is to decide the type of person you want to be and be it, that’s it!

So at moments like this--- getting ready for bed to get ready for work, is it really that easy?  I am living my purpose... so why not make it meaningful?  I want to be someone who makes a difference in the world- so then just do it. Make the choice to be the best version of yourself and the universe will take it from there. 

Well shit.  When you put it that way... 

Brushing my teeth with purpose tonight.  Extended mode baby.  

[probablynotthebible]

amuse bouche

Her: Strikingly beautiful in an amuse bouche kind of way- a bit confusing upon the first encounter, unexpected enjoyment of contradicting elements- contents known yet questioned.

And savored, but 

with the anticipation of something more. 

[probablynotthebible]

When I hear ‘space’ I think of planets & shit, not the room in which I’m contained… I guess there are two types of people. Moonwalk.

[probablynotthebible]

___________________

But space.  It fascinates me.  I’ve found that the more I’ve settled into myself, started moving with life’s curves instead of fighting against it, the dark doesn’t scare me much anymore.  It used to completely debilitate me, the thought of not knowing what lurked under it’s cloak was paralyzing.  I fought it, avoided it, dreaded it.  Through meditation & yoga- I’ve learned to sit with it, and that, similar to space, it is dark that allows light to exist- just like nothingness gives life to the planets and stars.  Light is because of dark.  Space is because of         .  Space is potential for everything and everything.  When you shift your focus from things that fill it, to the void it contains, suddenly everything opens.  A lightness appears.   

[probablynotthebible]

don’t wax your nose hairs... turns out they’re kinda important

mistakes were made.  if my nose would stop running- that would be great. 

[probablynotthebible]

lemon tree: potted that shit

10pm Saturday night gardening.  

As i stood trying to figure out how to lift the tree..

My neighbor came out to his patio. 

We chatted. His son was here. 

They came with a knife and a hammer. 

To free the tree, not to murder. 

I just stood there, and now my tree is potted. 

We had wine in celebration and I already forgot to water my tree. 

Soon we’ll have lemonade, but first we need water.  

[probablynotthebible]

impulse bought a lemon tree for some reason

I went to Home Depot and forgot what I came for completely.  

Why am I doing this? 

Will an 8ft lemon tree fit in my car? 

Also, these two palm trees. 

My car looks like a jungle. 

And there’s an ant on my steering wheel. 

Why am i doing this?

It’s unclear. 

[probablynotthebible]

heart v. ego: a tale of unrequited love

My fear of getting hurt allows my ego to pull all sorts of moves of self-defense.  

Instead of getting upset, resisting it, or giving into it... why not try accepting it?  

Because it is scary as shit- and also super infuriating for a reason I can't quite figure out.  Like you want to scream punch something and then cuddle a puppy.  It’s weird. 

But that self-defense mode that creeps up while trying something new, and/or (especially) dating... instead of letting it take the lead- THANK IT.  Approach this feeling with gratitude and compassion- it’s not trying to cock block your love life just for fun- it’s looking out for you.  It’s looking for patterns of past events and setting your mind to distance yourself from any threat of harm.  

It’s not stupidity or nativity- it’s simply a natural reaction.  At first, drawing awareness to this will absolutely suck probably.  Your mind will throw a floppy fit and you’ll try not to flip your lid.  You may lose it at first, and then again, but eventually you’ll find a brief moment of gratitude in there- if for at no other reason than your ability to sit there and look at your wounds for five seconds without giving in to your every desire for distraction. 

 That icky feeling of fearing the unknown- show it respect and give it space to drift.   Thank it kindly, acknowledge it, and while it will be ever present, so will you.  And it is in this space that you will be free to follow your heart.  Play a little, love a little, learn a little, feel a little. 

For if the universe didn’t want us to feel, we wouldn’t have hearts.   

[probablynotthebible]

Q to the U:

My bewilderment of the present moment does not forgo gratitude- rather it’s filled with it- derived from it.

Thank you for this beautiful life... Now what do I do with it? 

Typing this -  I realize the answer is clearer than any of us would like to admit. 

Live it. Enjoy it. That’s it. 

Is it really that simple? For fucks sake it is, isn’t it. We are standing in our own way.  Self-sabotaging our minds into believing that where we are now is never good enough,  and that living the best life requires working hard to become something else.  

Perhaps all it takes is reframing the question- shifting from ‘what do I do with my life?’ to ‘how do i fully enjoy this moment?’. 

Now that I can handle.  Moments are easy.  Life is hard. 

Holy shit.