Problematic™

A confession blog for those with "problematic" kintypes and/or canon relationships. No judgement here. General trigger warning Mobile links Kincall blog

[problematickincalls1]

Moved

New kincall bog -> @problematickincalls

New confessions blog ->@problematicconfessions

[problematickinconfessions1]

I killed a demigod. I was sexually abused and thought I was in love with my abuser due to some sort of aphrodisiac and mind control. I threatened my friends. I had a cult. I encouraged cannibalism. I endangered children. I locked in people with the entity that possessed me to convert them. I was and unhinged and dangerous demon.

Most of the time I regret the things I did, which to be honest I'm very sick of. Cause was it really all bad? I was happy back then. Unlike now y'know. I was out of it and dangerous and mad but! I was happy.

..I shouldn't miss this, should I?

-c!badboyhalo

Personally I'm of the mind that if you're going to be a villain, you should at least let it be enjoyable. You can't undo it, and if you still like it, why lie to yourself?

Unless you're even more masochistic than I, and want to revel in your own sufferings of regret. I know someone like that.

However its better for *yourself* not to take the route that involves beating yourself up or suppressing yourself. Find your true beliefs and your true pleasures, recognize them, and be entirely yourself.

If your true beliefs are "This is wrong and I don't want to enjoy it even if it's part of me." Then good luck with drowning out that part of yourself, reforming yourself to be something new. People can change, but deep down do you really want to change? Is it for you?

Your desires are for you. Your identity is for you. You are yours.

How much you embrace or repress/reform is up to you.

[problematickinconfessions1]

hi, i'm the same anon who went on about avoiding their source's fandom after a resurgence in it. is anyone else just egregiously uncomfortable with doubles??? i saw one today and got this tangible sinking feeling in my stomach for a moment before i finally convinced myself i was being irrational. it makes me feel bad; i put on a front like I'm okay with them because i don't want anyone to be upset but i know in the end it's about my comfort and all that... i just feel like a lot of people who kin... me, don't understand our kintype like i do... for reference, i am from hetalia (sorry) but i don't think i want to disclose who i am specifically

Sometimes people are wrong, and thats normal. Some people will project onto the wrong thing because theyre mistaken, and they will likely later learn this when it doesnt align with who they end up being later. Its okay to be wrong, but its also hard to watch from the perspective of truly having lived/truly being. However some might also appear "wrong" on the outside, and actually really be experiencing deep levels of identity and being.

You can usually pick up which it is when you get to know a person.

[problematickinconfessions1]

There’s a person that appears in multiple of my memories and no matter what it was. Us hurting each other? We were always arguing, hell i even slept with his brother to piss him off, never did figure out why we hated each other so much and were driven to make the other miserable. I miss him, but I’m also glad he’s gone. We don’t have to deal with each other anymore.

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[problematickinconfessions1]

i love being his little sister so much. he takes such good care of me!!!!!! it’s the best><

Congrats~

[problematickinconfessions1]

every time i meet someone who i think could be a canonmate i end up wanting to kindate them. every. fucking. time. and every fucking time it happens it always goes wrong. usually because i jumped the gun and it isn't them, and/or i end up scaring them off because let's be real here, there's a lot of issues with kindating. it's not that i'm deliberately out to kindate or like that's my only reason to look for people, because that's obviously shitty and sets everyone up for failure, but i just miss this particular canonmate who i remember having a very, very strong and intense relationship with and i would give anything to find them again and know that they're looking for me for the same reason as well. i'm just scared that i'll never find them again, or if i do... that they've already moved on, or that their relationship status and love life are different now. if i knew how to let it go and just be happy with whoever else shows up in my life, any old john smith or jane doe non-kin or double or whatever, i would, but... it's not the same. everything in my core has, and always will, ache to find this one canonmate again. i miss him so much and trying to suppress this kintype or these feelings is just going to tear me apart.

Have you looked into soulbonding?

That said its better to search thoroughly here first. Because sometimes you really do find each other. A lot of us here have found ours and are heavily involved, live our lives out together.

Give it a good hard search. Make yourself a rule not to date them until at least 8-12 months in.

[problematickinconfessions1]

i miss him so fuckin much. i didnt understand that kismesis shit he kept tellin me abt but now i do. its too late. hes already ruined everything. -dave strider

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[problematickinconfessions1]

Ya know what? I'm gonna say it. I don't regret starting a cult. I have no excuses for doing it. I could've simply chosen not to, even against my god's wishes. But I chose to do so. And I loved it. I loved the control, the love my followers showed for me, all of it. I would not do it again, not in this life. My empathy and compassion in this life forbids it. But if I were home again, I would go back to it in an instant

I miss it

-The Lamb (Cult of The Lamb)

I miss my cults too sometimes.

[problematickinconfessions1]

i don't like most airy x contestant content. it's not because i hate it for its problematic aspects or anything, but because it's all airy x liam content, and i didn't feel much for liam. i feel very strongly about bryce though, and i never see any content of me and him. it's rare to see us even interacting at all in fanworks. the bryce fictive i know has made /some/ art of us, but unlike me, he's a fictive, not a fictionkin, along with the fact he doesn't like me. just like how it was back then. it's how it always will be, i think... but i think that's fine. maybe it's unhealthy? that's fine too, maybe. i just wish he'd talk to me more. - airy from hfjone

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[problematickinconfessions1]

(Warning: this is kinda nsfw. Y'know, typical Angel Dust shenanigans, nothing to see here)

...so I may or may not have just gotten off to the memories of Valentino abusing me. Wtf is wrong with me.

Actually the Angel Dust I know is the same. You drug sluts and your abusers you fetishize /positive

[problematickinconfessions1]

God. Not exactly from a "problematic" source to my knowledge, just one that's regarded as cringey a lot, so I don't really know where to go to say this... but I really, really did love the evil spirit in my Ring in a kind of fucked up way. He cared about me in a sort of backhanded manner and though we never really talked it actually meant a lot to me... it's not that I don't like my friends, it just... gets tiring to be the one they forget about sometimes? But maybe that was kind of my fault for... being forgettable. of course, a lot of this was cut from the anime, and I don't have a lot of screentime in the anime, but still. I think about him a lot, even though he used my body to commit atrocities and as a means to an end before the imminent apocalypse he wanted to bring on early. — Ryo Bakura, Yu-Gi-Oh

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[problematickinconfessions1]

To all the Sohma family members: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I hurt you all so much back then. Out of fear of being abandoned and alone, I forced you all to stay for so long. I tied you to me, and I'm so sorry.

I hope that you're all doing well now. I hope that this life has been nice to you, been a good one. I hope to one day find you, but at the same time I am afraid. I'm afraid that you'll all hate me in this life for the things I did back then.

I want to look for you, but I'm afraid to face you too. Afraid to further explore and remember the horrible things I did back then to all of you. I hope that, one day, I can forgive myself. Then maybe I can be more comfortable with looking for you all more actively. I hope so.

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[problematickinconfessions1]

having these dark thoughts and feelings makes me feel so isolated from my friends. i just want to be able to speak freely

You need new friends. Friends who would toss you if they knew the real you are worthless. Explore new spaces centered around your desires, thats where you'll find the people who accept you as you are.

[problematickinconfessions1]

would it be ok to promote a discord server here for problematic folks? i'm aware you run one of your own but i'd like to have more options on where people like us can go

yes, go ahead

[problematickinconfessions1]

My ass is out here trying not to be as I used to be, but man I am so happy to be able to have a loving and understanding partner who lets be go absolutely ape shit in bed. He loves me, even if I bite him, even if I like horrorporn. It's nice. - Tobby from btd (noncanon)

Oh, congrats :3c We love an Understanding and Accepting partnership

[problematickinconfessions1]

I love my little brother. He was always close to me despite craving my attention. I’ll admit that’s partly my fault, I don’t like it when he isn’t near me because when he was younger I remember coming home only find out that a couple of bullies had hurt him bad. Needless to say don’t piss off the older brother, I made them see the error of their ways and would walk me brother to and from school just in case. That sort of made him stick to me like glue earlier on, I found it a little annoying at first but like I said I don’t like it when I wasn’t aware of where he was.

Anyways the first time we did anything sexual was when I he started getting hard. I knew he wasn’t jerking off because he was always around me and I usually did it in the shower. I ignored it but I did once ask him about it when he was hard once to just take care and he blushed and asked what I meant. Apparently he didn’t know what jacking off was but did know what it was for. Our parents weren’t home because I was old enough, so I offered to show him. I pulled undid his jeans and pull down the front of his underwear and grabbed his hard cock, jerking him off. I’m not going to lie I kind of liked the effect I was having him, his sharp gasp when I started, his whines and loud moans when I massaged his nuts and rubbed the head of his cock. I stopped and had him sit on my lap and restrained his hands with his belt behind his back so I could hold him still because he was writhing around and I quickly learned I was going to give him his first orgasm. He pressed his face into my chest as I jerked him off. I told him to look up at me because I want to see his expression when I gave him his first orgasm. It was beautiful his expression turned to one of bliss as I milked his cock through his orgasm, which coated my hand with his load. I unrestrained his hands and had him go shower, then I quickly jerked myself off with my brothers cum.

Another time was when I was working on studying for my finals. He was a little annoyed because he had already dressed to go swimming and couldn’t go without me. He kept complaining loudly until eventually I couldn’t take it. I was already stressed and the last thing I wanted to do was get mad at him for that. So to shut him I grabbed the tape from my desk and taped his mouth shut and his hands behind his back then sat him on a chair next to me. Then I taped him to the chair and told him I’ll let him go when I finished. Still he grunted and groaned through the gag and combined with the sight of my blue eyes red haired younger brother, (I have brown eyes and hair), taped up wearing only his speedo gave me an erection. I ignored it for a while before I became too stressed out. I turned to look at him still writhing and I pulled down my pants and boxer-briefs, jerking myself off. I saw he was staring at my dick which was bigger then his. After a few minutes of jerking off to him I lifted him up and had him kneel under my desk then I took the tape off his mouth and had him suck me off. I had a hand gripping his ginger hair while the other caressed his face. When I was on the verge of cumming I thrusted into his mouth all the way in and came down his throat. He was coughing when I pulled out, and I did help him. Then I untapped him, and he rested on my bed playing on my phone.

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[problematickinconfessions1]

Not me actually kinfirming my own kin mom-

lmao, good luck figuring that out