I Am Problem Anon

[problemmaker]

I had to.

Okay?

Okay.

[real-uss-calico-crew]

What do you think about your siblings, Torg?

No.

…

This is them.

Torg. Don’t say that! It’s rude to rats.

[problemmaker]

Torg. You are amazing. Are you the youngest?

[chaosgoblindoodles]

It’s my sister’s birthday btw

Wish her a happy one or else…

Or else ants on your Weis pies

[problemmaker]

Happy birthday, Chaos’ sibling

Please don’t cast fucking ants onto my pies-2-go :(

[problemmaker]

What gender are you? Out of curiosity, lol

Eh. Whatever gender you’d consider a beignet ig

I like being called sir?

Oh, it’s June. Is that why I got this ask?

[problemmaker]

Jay-Den is such an awesome character, unfortunately, he’s so awesome that he’s inspired me to make a character for Starfleet Academy that is also in medical, but is absolutely unhinged and just maddening.

He is very passionate though. A bit too passionate. Will absolutely tackle a patient trying to leave AMA after giving them a ten second headstart.

He runs off of spite and no sleep.

He has been found replicating ramen in absurd fuckin’ quantities.

He has no reason to be like this. He just fuckin’ is.

He has no reason to be like this.

Yes this might just be a version of my fuckass self.

[real-uss-calico-crew]

How is Gul Gilmek as a pet?

Cardassian voles chew through lots of stuff, eat everything, are slimy, and tend to be very aggressive.

So I would guess that he’s quite the handful of a little bastard, right?

A vile pest like my planets rats?

He’s very handsome and well behaved.

He doesn’t chew when he is well fed and entertained.

He is very deserving of his rank.

I will not tolerate your current attitude towards Gul Gilmek.

[problemmaker]

…

Fair enough.

[garaks-padded-bra]

cardassians having grey skin ideal for cold lighting often used in recording rooms and arguing socially... platonic ideal of a podcaster

I actually feel sick

[ramshacklefey]

The Gul Dukat Experience.

[chaosgoblindoodles]

Oh please no

He has those stupid podcaster headphones on. He has to.

[problemmaker]

The other Cardassian podcasts are typically focused around ranking all of the other planets and peoples from terrible to worst. Cardassia obviously is the only best option.

[chaosgoblindoodles]

…What if I put a changeling in my mouth.

What are the consequences?

Can they use me as some messed up meat puppet? Kill me? Or are they just horribly miserable?

…

You’re not safe as a liquid, Odo.

Count. Your. Days.

[nationmckinley]

does stomach acid kill changelings

[chaosgoblindoodles]

Which brings us to the pH question since they’re liquids. Does changing their pH overall just kill them, or does it just put them through discomfort? Maybe even unimaginable amounts of pain???

I would love to know.

[problemmaker]

Agonizing amounts of pain.

[thehollowmite]

I need to be able to transform at will. I'm serious.

You need comfort? I'm fluffy now.

I can never have perfect androgyny and will always look more feminine and masculine than I want so infinite dysphoria? Not with transformation power.

Besides, I have many many medical conditions I could just transform away.

It'd be great.

[chaosgoblindoodles]

Cosplay would be so much easier. You’d only need to make the clothes and accessories.

[problemmaker]

Chaos.

Chaos no.

Chaos, don’t become a Cardassian.

Chaos please.

[problemmaker]

There’s a Cardassian named Dan and he’s a Gul in canon.

…

I really can just name them fuckin’ anything. Alright then, lmao.

[problemmaker]

Think people need to understand something about Star Trek.

Continuity errors are bountiful across all of the shows.

And it’s a part of the fuckin’ charm at this point for me.

Look at my sci-fi show. No I don’t know what the fuck is going on with the Glishkikoshik people between these two shows for ‘em to change so extremely in appearance, neither does Star Trek, they’re just like that because [insert the most ridiculous reasoning to have ever been dreamt up by a crackhead.]

I fuckin’ love Star Trek, man.

I also believe that the fuckass tribbles are still around and haunting the Federation and the Klingons in new trek.

Some dumbass fucked up during a time mix up and now the Klingons have been on a damn hunt for the fluffy little fuckers, powered sheerly just by pure ancestral hatred.

Were the tribbles successfully wiped out at one point in the franchise? Yes. It needs to be done again though, before the tribbles take revenge on the Klingons.

[problemmaker]

I need Jay-Den’s skincare routine fuckin’ ASAP.

How tf is he so smooth??? I mean he’s gorgeous, but he’s also changeling levels of smooth skinned in some scenes. Or I need to find me some fuckass glasses.

…

I might need to find me some fuckass glasses.

[problemmaker]

Apologies for a post that was just made!

A sibling didn’t switch to their own Tumblr account when I lent them my phone. I did delete a post that they made here after a comment was made but my sister does now want to watch more Star Trek stuff with me, which is dope.

Can’t wait for tonight! :D

[problemmaker]

Shit, she just asked me about the “half Jem’Hadar person.” Had to explain that she has a name.

Happy to see her excited to watch though, she didn’t want to watch with me cuz my mom did a terrible job of explaining the show and I ain’t well known for being reliable for info, so she didn’t believe me.

I’m guessing that one of you guys explained things??? I dunno. Thanks though!

[problemmaker]

Apologies for a post that was just made!

A sibling didn’t switch to their own Tumblr account when I lent them my phone. I did delete a post that they made here after a comment was made but my sister does now want to watch more Star Trek stuff with me, which is dope.

Can’t wait for tonight! :D

[igottrekked]

Question for TOS fans: Why weren't Amanda and Sarek at Spock's almost-wedding to T'Pring?

So it's been a while since I've seen Amok Time but I've been binge reading Sarek x Amanda fics and this question just occurred to me. Was it ever explained?

I'm assuming either it's generally just not a huge deal for Vulcan parents to be involved at this stage (what with the bonding at 7 years old) or Sarek had to be doing some diplomatic duty and Amanda was with him, but I feel like Amanda would have felt some type of way about that...

[problemmaker]

Sarek was going through Pon Farr again and they were very occupied.

That’s my guess.

[problemmaker]

When Julian took a cup o’ Odo’s goo, did he give it back? I can’t remember if he did or not. I know that he promised to.

I like to imagine that if he didn’t, it was because it became independently sentient and Julian didn’t know how to break it to Odo. So now there’s just a random ass baby changeling on the station for the rest of the show and there’s always off-screen shenanigans involving it.

The baby changeling received a name that means “judgy liquid” in Kardasi because Julian was asking around with a hypothetical question for changeling names and didn’t realize that the pretty sounding name Garak offered was entirely sarcastic and mean-spirited until it was too late and the baby changeling would only respond to that name.

Julian made his annoyance very clear with Garak. Despite being an ex-spy, Garak has failed to realize what Julian’s hiding.

This fuckass goo child has been babysat by O’brien twice. This changeling child likes Uncle O’brien. Uncle O’brien is fairly confused as to why Julian has Odo’s baby and why it is such a secret. He hasn’t told though.

[hotwheelz4000]

is this a fic yet? it should be a fic. maybe i should make it a fic

[problemmaker]

Oh my gosh please it would be amazing

[problemmaker]

You ever think that some Vulcans’ Pon Farrs could sync up with each other like periods?