Probably Crazy

I post weird stuff. I'm probably a psychopath.

[probscrazy]

Hormonal Convergence

The prophecy written below is a prophecy prophesied by…. prophets.

It tells of the day that mankind will reach its downfall.

That day is know as: Hormonal Convergence

  There will come a day when all the rivers of the world will run red with blood…

On Hormonal Convergence, the day when the stars will align and a new moon will fill the sky, every woman in the world will have their period… At the same time!

Oh! The femininity!

Once the cramps set it, mankind will be doomed.

All the men in the world will die in the face of the girls’ bitching and whining;

for Hell hath no fury like a woman on her period.

Some men will try to fight against the fury of womankind.

Wars will be waged; battles fought.

Some men resort to suicide rather than face the horror of “that time of the month.”

For 4 days this will continue, and in the end, every man on Earth will have met his demise.

Without men to reproduce with, women will eventually die out… or maybe just revert back into fish or some shit.

Either way, humanity will reach its downfall in one fell, bloody, disgusting swoop.

The End

[probscrazy]

The 12 Days of the Apocalypse

Set to the tune of the 12 Days of Christmas:

On the first day of the apocalypse, the devil gave to me

a decapitated baby.

On the second day of the apocalypse, the devil gave to me

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

three hellhounds

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

On the fourth day of the apocalypse, the devil gave to me

four evil horsemen

three hellhounds

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

On the fifth day of the apocalypse, the devil gave to me

FIVE ANTI-CHRISTS!!

four evil horsemen

three hellhounds

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

On the sixth day of the apocalypse, the devil gave to me

six men-a-killing

FIVE ANTI-CHRISTS!!

four evil horsemen

three hellhounds

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

On the seventh day of the apocalypse, the devil gave to me

seven men-a-raping

six men-a-killing

FIVE ANTI-CHRISTS!!

four evil horsemen

three hellhounds

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

On the eighth day of the apocalypse, the devil gave to me

eight infants dying

seven men-a-raping

six men-a-killing

FIVE ANTI-CHRISTS!!

four evil horsemen

three hellhounds

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

On the ninth day of the apocalypse, the devil gave to me

nine women crying

eight infants dying

seven men-a-raping

six men-a-killing

FIVE ANTI-CHRISTS!!

four evil horsemen

three hellhounds

two scary clowns

and a decapitated baby.

The Apocalypse Lasts Forever, So Let’s Just Sing Again!

ON THE ENDLESS DAYS OF THE APOCALYPSE, THE DEVIL GAVE TO ME

EVERY WOMEN CRYING

EVERY INFANT DYING

EVERY MAN-A-RAPING

EVERY MAN-A-KILLING

EVERY ANTI-CHRIST!!

EVERY EVIL HORSEMAN

EVERY HELLHOUND

EVERY SCARY CLOWN

AND

EV-ERY

SINGLE

DE-CAP-I-TATED….

BAYYYYYY

BEEEEEEEEE.

Merry Christmas Everybody

[probscrazy]

Don't be sad because of people. They will all die.

Who the hell knows... But he/she/it was a genius...

[probscrazy]

When I see dead animals on the side of the road, I laugh...

Is that a bad thing??

[probscrazy]

Words that Most People Hate but that I Think are Funny

Panties

Munch 

Moist

Towel 

Parkour

Orifice

Squirt

Fetus

Most of the time, I start laughing whenever these words come up in conversation. I mean c'mon, fetus is a funny word.

Here's a picture of one:

[probscrazy]

I love stereotypes

Note: Everything written below is for comedic purposes and if you are offended by it than you're an asshole.

My school is starting a "Women's Coalition Group" that I will not be a part of.

I quickly realized two things. Firstly, coalition and group mean almost the exact same thing, so... why?

Secondly, that "women's coalition group" is just another name for Feminist Club. 

I am not against feminism, but I do find it very funny. Most people I know that are feminists claim that they hate men. They also think that men need to sympathize with them in order for them to be treated fair.

I'm not sure how these people think humans work, but hatred towards a group is not usually good incentive for that group to show compassion.

Just sayin.

Also (and I hate to generalize, I really do), feminists think that they oppressed and stereotyped more than most other groups.

Which is hilarious.

I should mention that I LOVE stereotypes. Most people respond to that statement with words like racist, sexist, bitch....... etc.

My response is that I don't create the stereotypes, I just think it's funny that they exist. 

After I found out about Feminist Club, I tried to think of as many way to piss of the group if I went to one of their meetings.

Here's what I came up with:

I could walk in, look at all the girls, and say "Why aren't you guys in the kitchen?" Then I would leave.

I could constantly ask the girls to do mundane tasks for me.

I could laugh whenever someone said the word oppressed.

I could ask how many girls in the room are lesbians. After they all raise their hands.... orgy.

Obviously I laughed my ass off about these, cuz people in bad situations are really fuckin funny.

Welp, here's picture of the funniest shit I've seen all day:

[probscrazy]

Yup... My favorite...

[probscrazy]

Make a Pill: A Terrible Poem About Birth Control

“Make a Pill”

Set to the Rhythm of How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Everybody thinks sex is so great…

But teen pregnancy is obviously very third-rate.

No one want babies! They cry and they shit!

All mothers do is clean up their spit.

Being pregnant is bad for almost all people,

so babies are killed and aborted with a needles.

Sure condoms work in preventing it all,

But guys always say “Those things are too small.”

“Okay,” said the girls, seeing through all their lies

“Then, put on your pants or meet your demise!”

Scientists wondered how to stop all the fighting,

Cause the world needs safe sex, it’s all too inviting!

A council was held to decide what to do,

But all of the people did not have a clue.

So they asked for ideas from the rest of the planet,

No good words rhyme with planet so here: pomegranate.

The world responded and sent in some submissions,

Like someone applying to fill a position.

The council reviewed all of the thoughts,

and proceed to move on with the rest of this silly plot.

“The pull out method,” suggested one man.

NO! NO! NO!

That’s terrible plan!

“We could keep using condoms,” suggested another,

NO! NO! NO!

We want to feel when we fuck one another!

But one man spoke up, who was feeling quite ill,

He had HIV, but he said, “Make a pill.”

YES! YES! YES!

A pill will do the trick,

One that will let girls safely fuck dicks!

So the council set off to make all the shit,

but their intelligence was poor and severely unfit.

“What will we put in it?” said one.

“Who cares!”

They used some chemicals that were labeled BEWARE!

The council soon realized they would need someone to test,

So they grabbed a hooker, and continued their quest.

They fed her the pill for a full thirty days,

Her breast size grew two sizes that way!

Her hormones went crazy and she bloated a bit,

but when it was done she was ready for it.

A brave man stepped up who was also a rapist,

And then he took her to Vegas.

In other words…

They had sex and and he filled her with cum,

And the hooker was sad when the rapist was done.

After some months, the test came back neg.

Now we can all fuck without fertilizing eggs.

THE END.