The romance genre and I are becoming acquaintances in the sense that I used to hate the genre but now I kind of hate the plot but the find entertainment value in the production now.
If you have any Sapphic/Gay/Ace romance recommendations, please tell me about them.
[My preference is Romance as a subplot so I would love those recs too. Just give me recs as long as there's a romance I can brainrot over please.]
You know the scene in KTV where Kayden tells Gareth to leave and he'll call the Jessica lady?? Yeah that scene. I was rereading some bits and this scene's been chewing on my brain for two days now.
All I'm saying is I mighhhht be writing a little something for it so I can get it out of my system. Maybe. Possibly. Who knows.
Kayden Lockwood might own the world and play everyone like a particularly mind numbing puzzle, but he didnât own him. He did not own Gareth Carson.
âBetter start making your case professor. My patienceâs hit its limit.â Heâd let the smile drop, his true face emerging, no emotions on his face and voice detached. The arrowâs nocked and his aim impeccable.
The man steps closer again, seemingly uncaring of the very real possibility of getting hurt, and asks in his usual condescending manner, âis this because I went on a date? You had the whole week to get over your baseless jealousy.âÂ
He rakes his eyes up and down Garethâs body and scoffs âStop acting like a spoiled baby.â
Gareth lets the arrow fly and it lands square in the middle of the manâs left thigh. He loses balance with a wince and before he has time to shoot a glare his way, the second arrow is aimed at him.
periodic reminder that the queer liberation library is an awesome non-regional library you can add on libby to access hundreds of queer titles. NO LIBRARY CARD NEEDED. i just found an audiobook for a pretty new release on there with no waitlist. also everyone use libby for your local library too NOW
You know the scene in KTV where Kayden tells Gareth to leave and he'll call the Jessica lady?? Yeah that scene. I was rereading some bits and this scene's been chewing on my brain for two days now.
All I'm saying is I mighhhht be writing a little something for it so I can get it out of my system. Maybe. Possibly. Who knows.
This is a perfect time to read the brilliant and unforgettable graphic novel(s) Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi, about growing up in Iran during and after the Iranian Revolution, and the rise of the oppressive theocracy that persists to this day.
Both graphic novels are available free online (Persepolis vol. 1, Persepolis vol. 2)
It also was adapted to a wonderful film (co-directed and co-written by the author) which is available to watch for free on Sundance Now (sign up for the free trial)
Anyone who's aiding Islamic Republic by being complacent and refusing to take decisive actions is responsible for this. Stop burying your heads in the sand.
A 20 years old young man who was arrested during January protests. He was executed saturday morning (Aug 1st) with the sentence of "Moharebeh" (waging war against God).
In his last conversation with his family he said: "Don't let them forget me. We stood up for the liberation of our homeland. Don't let the path we chose be silenced."
Arvin Jaan, I'm sorry I could not do more for you.
Summary: Vaughn and Yulian have been away from each other for too longâ10 days and counting.
What should he do when his Mishka isn't around and he craves his attention? Fall into bad habits.
---------
Yulian would like to call bullshit, thank you very much.Â
Â
It's been 10 days, 20 hours and 45 seconds since Vaughn was here. Well, in person.
Vaughnâs been busy with bratva crap, a cartel of goods gone missing, turf wars, traitors or whatnot. Yulian doesnât know. Vaughn didnât elaborate and he doesnât care. The other man hadnât trusted him enough to confide in him, so fucking what?
Â
Heâs only had the moving image of the man on his phone and the sound of his voice coming through a speakerphone for the past few daysâVaughnâs voice was hot, no doubt in that, but the static quality filtering it just reminded Yulian that he wasnât home, lounging on the living room sofa, reading a book or boring reports with his reading glasses perched on his nose (Yulian usually couldnât resist jumping his bones for more than 30 minutes. He hadnât even lasted 30 seconds the first time he saw it)âand he feels like a junkie cut off from his drug. He's been taking his hits in intervals.
Right now heâs sitting in their penthouse, the one Vaughn asked him to move into with but never asked his ex to (ha! in your stupid face Danika), and waiting for his phone to ring with a call from his jerk of a boyfriend like a dog waiting on its master.
Â
Okay, logically he knows the other man loves him but it hurts how he doesnât sound as affected by the distance, doesnât need to stay on the phone longer, doesnât seem like heâs losing his damn mind. Heâd also told him not to drop by and for some damned reason Yulian complied. The ache behind his ribcage just got worse after that.
He canât fathom what fucking insecurityâs preventing him from going to his literal boyfriend, but his self-conscious brain is playing with his mood like a fiddle and heâd just love to smash something.Â
His Vaughn would drop everything and run to him, heâs already proven it with the whole âweddingâ nonsense. He knows he will choose him. Still unreasonably he wants his Mishka to come to him. Just one more time. To cement the fact that Yulian is chosen by him, that heâll keep him.
Â
And damn it all to hell.
Yulian wants to be kept.Â
Jesus, he really is a dog.
Â
He rushes to check his phone when it pings with a notification, typing in his password and trying not to get side tracked by his home screen (Itâs a picture of Vaughn sprawled on their bedsheets with his tanned skin on display for him and the sun sneaking in through the blinds.
Yulian could salivate all over it, and he has in these 10 days. Many times, in fact. In the company of his memories and his hand and the scent of Vaughn on the bedsheet.)
He shakes himself out of his reverie and the message he sees cools his rapidly heating body right down.
Â
Mishka
I can't call tonight. gonna take a couple more days. Iâll message you when I can.
Â
Oh like fuck he will. If V thinks heâs gonna sit at home and look pretty (which he does. He has guns, baby) heâs got a big storm coming. A damn hurricane. Yulianâs so ready to burn this whole damn building to the ground but heâll compromise. Oh yes he will.
Â
Itâs time to mess with his Mishka.
*****
Vaughnâs one more problem away from pulling his own hair out in frustration.
Â
He settled score with the staff responsible for the fuck up and killed a number of deluded waste of spaces thinking they could get away with touching the goods belonging to The Morozov empire. He even took care of a bunch of paperwork while running around their territory trying to stabilize everything. His dad entrusted this to him and he never did anything if not done to perfection.Â
He feels no gratification.
To say he looks like death is no exaggeration.
Â
He needs to get back home, preferably by tonight, because hearing the teasing deep voice of the little wolf he left there wasnât enough to fuel him anymore. The first few days had been okay. Heâd expected to be done with the mess soon. However as the hours dragged and days came and went, he could no longer be satisfied with seeing his Yulian on the screen. It wasnât enough. (The bastard had sent him so many videos of him enjoying himself while moaning and grunting and calling for his Mishka. Vaughn was teased half to insanity and really wanted to punch his face inâŠafter kissing it.) He had to miss another call tonight and he felt like the walls were closing in. He could barely breathe. Â
Â
âBossâ a heavily tattooed muscled man calls jogging towards him. Talk about being a stereotypical hooligan. Vaughn doesnât know his name. Probably a new recruit. He doesnât care.
âNot your boss, yetâ he lets out a frustrated breath âYou better be here to tell me youâve caught the rest of the culprits or youâll find yourself with an extra hole in you and six feet under.â He feels ire itching beneath his skin and he wants to scratch and bleed it out. He almost wants a cigarette, and thatâs not a thing heâd allow himself. Still heâs glaring and his hair is finger raked and his clothes are wrinkled and he knows it. Smelling like ash and smoke and fucking up his own lungs is the least of his worries right now.Â
Â
The guy gulps. Vaughn sees his throat moving and has the urge to reach out and crush the thick neck. All he needs is a reason.Â
Just waste my time. I dare you.
Â
âWe did. We dragged the group to a warehouseâ He answers hesitantly, definitely less loud than he was a second ago.
âAnd?â He prompts through clenched teeth. He feels a vein throbbing at his temple.
âAnd, uh, the big boss is already there and said heâll take it from here.â
Â
Vaughn pauses for a moment.Â
The big boss. His dad.Â
This shitâs taken so long his dad had to step in?
Â
Before he can feel like a fucking failure his phone vibrates with a call from his father. Speak of the devil. Kirill Morozov is a straightforward man, a quality his son mostly inherited. He updates him, in his usual calm deep tone, about whatâs happening in the warehouse, praises him for a job well done and orders him to get his ass home. Before Vaughn can voice out a protest his dad cuts him off with a terrifying threat of âdonât think I donât know about the all nighters kid. go home or Iâm telling your motherâ and thatâs that.
Â
So he lets out another heavy sigh and dismisses the man sweating buckets next to him with a nod. As he turns around a notification from a certain app pops up and he canât help checking it immediately. Maybe putting a tracker on his boyfriend was creepy (he begs to differ), but he simply needs to know where the other is and if heâs safe. That man is danger-incarnate and has no regard for his own safety. Combine it with his sneaky nature and love for violence and you get a migraine inducing concoction catered to Vaughn alone. It drives him crazy daily.Â
Personally he thinks itâs a very smart move to monitor him and itâs not like he needs anyoneâs approval to do it anyway.
Â
He checks the app and confusion furrows his brow. The dot isnât in its usual place on the map. And he doesnât know where it is. Not at home, thatâs for damn sure. The crease between his brows deepens as he zooms in on the location. Atlantisâa fucking night club.
Itâs unusual because Yulian quit those places the moment they got together. Vaughn canât stop his brain from parkouring to the worst case scenario. What if something happened to him? Did he get kidnapped, again? That couldnât be possible. Not with the security detail in place and the elimination of Yulianâs father.Â
With a feeling of pending doom, another possibility worms its way through his racing thoughts.Â
Â
What if he got tired of what they had and took his chance with him being away to try something new?
Â
No.
He has to forcefully push away the last traitorous thought. He respects Yulian too much to assume the worst of him.
He gets into the car, puts on the seatbelt and sets the GPS destination to the damn night club his damned boyfriend is currently at.Â
Â
Yulian better have a good fucking reason because once he gets there the bastard has some explaining to do.
*****
The speaker booms over the crowd and terrible vibrations of rave music almost split Vaughnâs eardrums open. The musicâs loud enough to rattle his bones. If he didnât know this was a mating ground, heâd wonder how the fuck anyone was enjoying it. Heâs barely adjusted to the flashing lights before his senses are attacked with the terrible amalgamated stink of smoke and sweat and shit liquor. Couldnât Yulian pick somewhere less messy?
Â
Vaughn pushes through sweaty grinding bodies, barely avoiding getting hit in the face by swaying body parts and has to swallow down a bile of nauseating discomfort to find his motherfucking boyfriend. He's going to take like 5 showers when he gets home and then heâll throw Yulian in a bucket of ethanol before he can drag all this nonsense into their home.
He climbs the stairs to the second floor two steps at a time. Finding higher ground is the first order of business when looking for someone, right? Vaughn wouldnât fucking know.Â
Heâs never had to track down anyone like this and certainly not in a sweaty pit of people jumping about like monkeys in the dark. This isnât a place heâd be caught dead in, hating the feeling of being caged in and touched by insignificance and he sure as hell didnât like the smell and loudness of the place. This boyfriend of his has him running around unusual places.
Drunk people keep pawing at him. Sultry glances are sent his way. Heâs lost count of how many times heâs been approached with sticky touches and mumbling breaths of âhey handsomeâ tonight. Revolting.
Good thing heâs a grumpy son of a bitch. Most of them ran away when he glared and the rest he dealt with by pushing physically away.
Â
As heâs making his way around the dance floor again, since the higher ground plan didnât fucking work, he gets this nagging feeling of the other being close. He thinks he hears the otherâs voice. Which is ridiculous. He just lost his ear drums, thereâs no way he could hear anything in this madhouse. But he turns toward the direction anyway and lo and behold.Â
Â
There he is.
That motherfucker.
The bane of his fucking existence.
Â
The knots in Vaughnâs chest detangle and he can finally breathe, even if taking that huge inhale meant getting a lung full of smells heâd spent the rest of his night scrubbing away. He swipes a quick cursory look up and down the otherâs body to make sure he's fine. And what do you know? The prick who had him running about like his ass was on fire is completely okay.
What's not okay is the people draping themselves all over him.
Yes, Yulian looks good with his pretty mismatched eyes and soft looking hair and tight jeansâand holy shit is that Vaughnâs black shirt?â but that doesn't mean others can touch. Or even fucking look.
The discomfort is back inside him full force. His jaw reclenching and throbbing with the old sore of the past two weeks.
Ten days of being apart and holding on by a thread, holding on only with the thoughts of existing in the other manâs vicinity, and this is the reunion he gets?
Â
The newfound anger aids his strides forward. He can feel reason leaving him gradually with each step. It drops off him the same way heâs gonna rip the culprit away, fast and violent without time for contemplation.
Yulianâs eyes widen when he spots him. Vaughn catches the glimpse of delight in the mismatch of them and finds the telltale signs of him concealing a grin.Â
So he does have some self-preservation.
Â
Good. If he lets out a single smile here Vaughn will not be responsible for the following mass mutilation. And certainly not responsible for the fire thatâll burn the place down.
Nobody gets to see that smile. He's made that clear.
Â
Vaughnâs detected the manic glee in his boyfriend and knows heâs fallen into the bad habit of messing with him again.
They canât have that.
Â
âBaby!â He reads the words on the otherâs lips. Extremely kissable lips, moist with whatever disgusting liquid is in his cup. A manicured hand enters his view and touches his infuriating little wolfâs jawline. He snaps.
Â
Pushing forward, he finally reaches the man and gets a hold of the shirt Yulianâs wearing (his own fucking shirt, hugging the otherâs body in ways that arenât meant for anyoneâs eyes but his) and pulls him out of foul smelling shithole and towards the exit before he can break the delicate wrist bone. Or better yet, kill someone in plain sight.
Yulian grins widely the whole way. Touching him and sticking to his back. Dropping kisses on his neck only to be pushed away and come back again and again and again. His breath smells like cheap vodka and Vaughn can smell his own cologne sticking to the otherâs skin. Unfortunately for whatever goes on in his boyfriendâs head, heâs getting angrier by the second. Every graze of fingers on his face, every hug and smile is boiling under his skin and heâs about to erupt.
Crisp fresh air finally surrounds them as they stumble out of the building. Vaughn has to take a big gulp of it to calm himself down. He strides toward where he parked the car with his grip firmly on the otherâs hand. Yulianâs giggling behind him. The sound is too young and carefree for what he pulled tonight. It somewhat helps with the loosening of his muscles but the ire is not gone.Â
Â
Alas the other just has to open his fucking mouth.
Â
âWhy did you cut my fun short?â The joy in his voice is unmistakable.
Vaughn sends a warning glance his way but that does nothing to deter the other man.
âI was enjoying myself, you know? a girl on my right, a pretty boy on my left, andââÂ
Thatâs it.
Â
He throws Yulian against the passengerâs side, hard, and cages him in between his arms. âWhat the hell did I say about touching other people, Yulian?â He struggles to get the words out through clenched teeth and heaving breaths.
âNot to do it?â Yulian hums into his ear, completely ignoring the madness heâs unleashed. Maybe this is exactly what he wantsâto drive him mad out of his mind.
The way heâs treating the situation is driving Vaughn insane. Is this fucking entertaining to him? They are together. They both love everything they do together and all that they are to each other, so why were they here, again? Why did he touch someone else? Whatâs the point of Vaughn confessing and staying and trying when they always end up in the same cursed situation?
Â
âYou know baby you couldâve joined usâ The man continues, crooning against his neck, never knowing when to shut the fuck up. Something breaks inside Vaughnâs head. This asshole always pushes him to the brink as if Vaughn canât dish out the same hand heâs dealt.Â
Â
âWould you be able to handle it if they started touching me? If I started touching THEM?â He snaps. The last word is almost a shout. The only thing keeping his voice down is his refusal to let anyone in on anything they have. Even if itâs a fight.
Yulian finally quiets down.
âWhat?â is the answering whisper, a clear warning hidden in it. Vaughn should probably care, but fuck him. Fuck him all the way to hell. Always pulling the same shit, knowing full well heâd go insane if Vaughn was the one in his place. In fact, he did go insane with the one girlfriend Vaughn had his whole life.
Â
He doesnât stop.
Â
âWould you let them rub themselves all over me? Put their mouths on me? Will you let me take them over and over while you fucking watch?â He hisses each word out. Yulianâs hand shoots out and wraps around his throat. He can see him shaking with the effort of not suffocating him.Â
âStop talkingâ He warns again, his voice shaking with the rest of his body. Thereâs a glint of madness in his eyes and heâs panting alongside Vaughn now. The joy is gone.
Vaughn canât be bothered anymore.Â
He pushes the other away with a hard shove. The hold on his neck comes loose and a stricken look comes over Yulianâs face.
Â
âGet in.â he gives a curt order while walking to the driverâs side. Throwsing himself behind the wheel, he shuts the door with enough force to break anything less expensive. His body goes through the motions of putting on his seatbelt and starting the car on autopilot. He contemplates just driving away for a moment but pushes it away because thereâs no point mulling over something he physically canât do. The other man finally opens the door and slides slowly into the seat next to him.
Â
âBabyââ
Â
âNot nowâ Vaughn shuts him down. He sees something akin to fear encompassing the otherâs body. Vaughnâs never seen him fall into himself like this, avoiding eye contact, or even struggling to find words to say. Yulianâs always been self-assured, larger than life. Untouched by what mere mortals would call doubt.
Seeing him like this is giving him whiplash. He doesnât want to care, but the unusual way the otherâs acting has him on edge more than heâd like to admit. He might just fucking die if the other doesnât stop the unwarranted pity party.
âWeâll talk when we get home.â He adds after a bit, his voice low. Itâs all he can offer right now.
Â
As he puts the car in reverse and gets out of the parking spot he sees him nod hesitantly in his peripheral view. It makes him even madder because how dare he act like a lost puppy and how dare his own heart betray him like thisâsoften, even just a bit, before heâs dished out his retribution.
He sighs and Yulian flinches. He looks at the other and he avoids his gaze. Vaughn can see him pull his hand back from reaching out to him again and again and he. just. needs. to. get. home.
At least Yulianâs stopped shaking. Thank god for small mercies.Â
Â
It's a quiet, uncomfortable ride back.
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*****
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The penthouseâs door barely clicks shut before Yulian finds himself thrown against the wall next to it. His breath leaves him with a whoosh, and he barely muffles the groan climbing up his throat. With all the manhandling heâs gone through tonight heâs starting to feel like a ragdoll. Normally he loves the aggression.Â
It feels different this time.
Â
The picture frame he hung up in the entryway rattles and falls to the ground. It's a photo he took on one of their bike rides back on the island, the sun rising in the background, Vaughnâs silhouette leaning against Chaosâthe bike he got for Yulian. Heâd framed it the week he moved in with Vaughn and hung it up himself when the other guy was out on business.
Vaughn had loved it.
He spotted it the second he got home and then proceeded to shower his face in kisses and ravage himâand get ravaged in turnâfor hours. His heart had felt so full that day. Now he could feel it spilling at his feet the way the picture frame had.Â
Â
âMind telling me the reason behind what you pulled tonight?â Vaughnâs voice caresses his skin. The authority lacing his words in unmistakable. His face is a breath away and it sets an unreasonable fire in his belly. His bodyâs warming up rapidly and his heart isnât listening to him anymore.
Â
Now is not the fucking time Yulian.
Â
He wills himself to look into the brown eyes holding him captive. They look darker than usual, the hints of green are almost lost. Yulian adores them. There's a deeply set shadow under his eyes that wasnât there 10 days ago and itâs unfair how the man still looks gorgeous, sleep deprived and unkempt in a way he normally wonât allow.
He draws in a lungful of the manâs smell, and itâs divine. Pine and whiskey and dark chocolate. Yulian wants to burrow himself in the juncture between his neck and shoulder and just breath him in, huffing and puffing like a panting predator.
Â
âYulianâ, Vaughn calls him in that husky measured voice. A hand comes up to cup his jaw, the thumb rubbing against his lips and Yulian realises mortifyingly that heâs been drooling a little. Probably gaping like an idiot the whole time.Â
Â
âTell me why you were at the club tonight.â The warning is transparent in the command. Goosebumps arise all over his body from the thrill of it. He canât let himself be carried away with the waves of anticipation when the other asks him something.Â
Â
It's a holy mandate to give Vaughn what he wants, he didnât make the rules.
Â
He contemplates his answer. Should he joke and answer as usual, he knows Vaughn will be mad enough to fuck it out of both of their systems.
But a bed is where they end up anyway, happy or mad. What if this time he wasâŠhonest?Â
Â
The words admitting his vulnerability abandon him though.
He's only ever been strong in front of others, letting problems roll off his back like sweat. Vaughn likes him because of it, right?
The only time he was pathetically weak in front of him he hadnât known where they stood in their relationship and he was injured and beaten nearly to death at the hands of his sperm donor.
Â
They're together now and somehow he feels lost again.
Â
Truthfully, Vaughnâs never given him a reason to feel uncertain. No action to even indicate he was tired of what they have, and yet Yulianâs mind ran away from him.Â
What the fuck was he thinking?
Was he thinking at all?
Â
âYulian, you better start answering right now or I might do something we both wonât enjoy.â Vaughnâs inquiry makes him realise heâs been quiet for longer than he thought. He has to clear his throat before talking and the words still croak out from disuse,
Â
âWhat will you do?âÂ
The familiar cockiness is gone. Vaughn pushes impossibly closer to him. He sees the vein on his neck pulsing hard, almost matching his own fluttering heartbeat.
Usually theyâd snap and physically shove each other about. This feels like a cold war coming and Yulian doesnât know how to handle those. Heâs never seen the other guy soâŠstill.
The drawn taut shoulders and the clenching and loosening of the hold he has on Yulian clue him on the other holding back by sheer power alone. The controlâs visible in every flexed muscle and the slow methodical way heâs breathing.Â
He reminds Yulian of a panther, a trigger away from pouncing on clueless prey.Â
(He mightâve watched a nature documentary last week when the quiet of their shared space got too loud. Interestingly enough the hunters reminded him of his boyfriend. Quite cute. Does this mean heâs a furry now?)
Fuck. His dick loves the imagery, it truly does, but his heart is beating distractingly loud. He might be a certified adrenaline junkie but not if it means losing Vaughn.
Â
âNothing seems to scare you, huh?â Voice still soft and unsettling, his hold on Yulianâs jaw tightens, the thumb rubbing his cheek absentmindedly âHow come the moment Iâm not around you completely forget yourself?â
He wants to protest but only a little wounded noise leaves before Vaughn continues,
âI might just leave.âÂ
Â
Itâs like a bucket of cold water is poured over his head and his Mishka, the rude bitch that he is, doesnât stop there âI wonât call. I wonât see you. Iâll disappear.â The harsh words are accompanied by a self deprecating scoff, âIâm your favorite toy, arenât I, baby? If I take myself away will you come to your fucking senses?â
Â
Yulian feels the other lean away. He canât think. Body moving unconsciously, he lurches forward and knocks both of them down. A loud thump resounds from the impact as Vaughnâs body hits the ground but he doesnât have time to worry because what if he moves and the other actually leaves.
âHell no! Youâre not going anywhere.â The objections stumble out incoherently. His lungs arenât functioning if the chokingâs any indication. Why is air not working?, âWhat motherfucking bastard said youâre a toy? whaââ
âThen why do you keep playing with me?â Vaughn shouts. He sounds faraway.
Â
Somethingâs ringing somewhere in his head and itâs loud and Yulian needs it to stop.
His fingers claw into the otherâs shoulder, refusing to let go and he struggles to inhale, coughing out each exhale like smoke gone down the wrong pipe. There's a halo of red surrounding Vaughnâs eyes. He can hear his teeth grinding into each other so he struggles to open the otherâs jaw and stop him from hurting himself even as heâs bereaved of air.Â
His hand is pushed away cruelly.
Â
âTell me Yulianâ The other man reaches for him, crushing their bodies together. Heâs pulling him towards himself not awayâhis brain supplies helpfullyâand he finally gulps down a mouthful of air. Vaughn switches their positions and heâs the one looming over him now.Â
Â
âAre you not mine?â Itâs a desperate whisper, mumbled into his forehead as the other buries his nose in his hair.
Â
Yulian feels as if heâs smacked in the face.
What the fuck, of course Iâm his. and heâs mine. all mine. whaâÂ
Â
âTell me youâre mineâ Vaughn begs, and Yulian is hit by lightning, hard enough that he deliriously thinks my skeleton was visible for a moment there, wasnât it?
He tries to sit up frantically, his sweaty hands sliding on the floor and his legs not fucking cooperating. Vaughn refuses to let him up and Yulianâs strong, damn it, but itâs gonna be a dark day when he refuses to be held by Mishka.
He has to make sure the other knows that everything heâs ever been and everything he has and everything he will be, all the baggage and joys and the crazy, belongs to the other and heâll never be able to wash himself clean of him. Never.
Â
Cradling the otherâs face in his hand and cheering inside his head when he manages to keep them from shaking, he holds the otherâs gaze as he utters âYou will never leave meâ.
The words are a whisper at best. He decides he needs to do better, so he lands a kiss on the otherâs lips, one that goes unanswered unfortunately, and declares louder âYou will never leave. I wonât let youâ. He tries to swallow down the knot of unease in his throat âYou are mine, just as I am yours.âÂ
Â
The words set Vaughn in motion. He dips down and catches his lips into a searing kiss that has him gasping in no time. Their tongues slip out and get tangled together and the first brush has Yulian groaning into it.
Fighting the need to let his eyes flutter shut and just feel, he peers at the otherâs face through half-open eyelids.
There's a tiny frown thereâthe one that says Yulianâs got him completely.
Â
Vaughnâs hair is falling into his face in soft albeit messy curls. The sight is hypnotising enough that Yulian finds his fingers tangled in there, pulling at his nape just the way they both like. The otherâs hands arenât idle either. They move up from where theyâre resting on his thighs. Caressing his face, fingers tapping gently at the corner of his mouth to signal him to open wider, tugging at his ear lobes and making their way back down under his shirtâthe one he stole from his boyfriendâs side of the closet and reveled in smelling like him the whole nightâto stroke his stomach.
Â
Vaughn gives a hard suck on his tongue, the smacking sounds of their mouths deafening in the silence. He traces Yulianâs teeth and dives deep towards his throat, making him groan loudly in response to the deep moans he lets out into the kiss.
His thighs come up on their own accord to hug the otherâs waist when Vaughn pulls back. Yulian lets out a huff when the kissing stops and pinches the otherâs nape in complaint. Gathering him up in his hold, the other man stands up, the muscles in his biceps and back bulging and Yulian can feel them through all the layers between them, under his own calloused hands.
âBratâ. The wordâs nibbled into his lips and he can feel the grin forming against it.
His own lips twitch in response as the man navigates his way to their bedroom (They almost crash against a vase Vaughâs cousin bought for them when they moved in together. Yulian wouldnât miss it if itâs gone. That thing is gaudy) while carrying him because God forbid they do it on the floor.
Â
His man has a weird strict no floor sex policy. One that Yulian will break one day.Â
That day is not today.Â
Â
The world tilts and heâs dropped on the bed unceremoniously. The mattress is soft beneath his panting body but he still grumbles half-heartedly (itâs the principle of the thing) before Vaughn is on him, pushing him to the center of the bed and taking his shoes and socks off on the way.Â
Yulian just lays back and lets him do all the work.Â
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âIf youâre going to just lay there, I might as well swap you with a sex dollâ The other grouches like the grouchy fuck he is and gives him a disapproving look as he wrestles the rest of his clothes off.Â
âAs if that could satisfy you.â Yulian snorts, taking him as seriously as homeworkâhe doesnât have those anymore. âWhat will that do for your insane libido, baby?â
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âLess pissing me off and about the same pleasure. I call that an investment.â Vaughn matches his insolent tone and leans down to lick a stripe on his cheek.
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âYou better treat me like the prince I am, Mr. Grumpyâ Yulian just grins at him, all teeth and full of glee. He sees the corners of Vaughnâs lips twitch as he hides a smile. The sight of it has him tingly all over. Heâs caught off guard when a plea falls from his mouth involuntarily,Â
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âSmileâ.
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Vaughn freezes in the middle of pulling his own shirt over his head and looks at him. There are so many emotions stirring in his eyes. Lust, love, exasperation and a couple more Yulian has no time to decipher because one of them harpoons into his heart and refuses to let go. He is absolutely floored by the tenderness overshadowing everything else.Â
The pause isnât long. Vaughn finishes stripping and throws their clothes off the bed. Slowly, because thereâs no rush, he reaches for him, making sure Yulian follows every move and locks their lips into a needy kiss. He slides into his mouth and Yulian lets him explore and taste as much as he wants. The taste has Vaughn sighing deeply inside his chest. His whole body shivers with the rumbling sound of the other.
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This guy must like the taste of cheap vodka, He thinks deliriously.
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The other shifts and Yulian follows, chasing after a sensation thatâs got him stupid in no time at all. Heâs stopped with a hand on his throat. Gulping down the saliva not running down his chin, he watches how Vaughn follows the movement beneath his fingers. The gaze slides lower, towards his heaving chest and tightened nipples, and lower yet at his achingly hard cock, already leaking and making a small pool on his stomach.
Yulian sees the otherâs nostrils flare and his eyes close momentarily before he looks up again. The hand on his throat moves to hold his cheek and caress under his eyes. Vaughn loves his freaky mismatched eyes, and knowing that heâs started to hate them less. Â
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âWant me to smile, hm?â He murmurs absently, his tongue coming out to wet his already red and bitten raw lips.
Yulian nods hesitantly in answer and has no time to brace himself before a small, but genuine smile grows on the otherâs lips.
Yulian is breathless.
Fucking awestruck.
Absolutely floored.
You know what? If begging gets him this smile, he'll beg everyday for the rest of his life. In fact the asshole better not stop smiling at him, ever.
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Vaughn plants a firm smiley kiss on his lips and before Yulianâs found his bearing he starts making his way down. Kisses rain down on his chin, his neck and linger on his chest. Pleasure zips through his body as his nipples are toyed with.Â
Soft hands stroke his hips reverently while the other gnaws on his skin and nibble his throbbing nipples before probing at it with his tongue and Yulian hopes to find an abundance of bruises on his body in the morning.
Marked for everyone to see. Property of Vaughn Morozov. Trademark.Â
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The man continues downward, tongue flicking out to dip into his navel and licking cum off his completely lathered stomach. Yulian thrusts up towards the warmth hovering over him, and is pressed down gently as Vaughn feasts. He gets comfortable between his thighs, ignoring his throbbing cock, which is honestly such a dick move, and Yulian informs him as much.
âYou dick.â
Vaughn grins and bites down on his left thigh, looking absolutely feral. This is a side he reserves for Yulian, young and uninhibited and so far from the calm and collected image catered to the outside world. Yulian feels it imprinting on his soul, leaving him intoxicated. Starving yet full, like gorging yourself on water after going thirsty for days. (Which he had in his fatherâs care.)
âYou taste so goodâ Vaughn rasps as he thumbs the bite he just made. The other thigh gets the same treatment. He moans through the clench of his jaw on him âWhy do you taste so good?â
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The appreciation in his voice sends tendrils of arousal over his body. He feels suffocatingly hot and bothered and his hips move in tiny unconscious thrusts. All that talk and his boyfriend is not doing anything.
âAre you complaining?â Yulian huffs, a little frustrated and more gone than heâd like to admit.
He gets another bite for his troubles, this one on his hip and hard enough that it nearly breaks skin. Yulian can feel blood welling under the coolness of the otherâs breath on the spit covered spot. A breathless laugh leaves him and he thinks deliriously that, for all his complaints, if Vaughn so much as moves in the direction of his cock, heâll make an embarrassment of himself.
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âBaby, câmon. Do something.â He keens and has to wonder how he got here.Â
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Letâs make some things clear. There are few areas where he outperforms everybody and leaves them in the dust. Shooting, fighting, making terrible decisions, being an absolute gremlin. The list is quite extensive. But sex? Sex is where he fucking dominates.
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Yet, lying here beneath the other man, he already feels wrung dry and they havenât even gotten to the good part. He could flip them over and pamper the other in return, pull him into his lap and ram his cock into that tight hole and press into his sweet spot rapidly. Fuck him just the way he likes.
But he wonât.
Let the record show heâd gladly lie here and let Vaughn have his way with him.
Getting that pillow princess treatment is a plus.
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Vaughn doesnât make him wait anymore. His lips wrap around the head of cock, tongue pressing firmly into the slit and Yulian cries out.
Fucking fuck of all fucks. This feels so good and itâs been so long. He wonât forgive Vaughn for the 10-day-long forced celibacy.
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His hold on the bedsheet doesnât suffice anymore. He reaches down with both hands and Vaughn holds them, comes up to drop a quick kiss on his knuckles and then guides them into his hair before diving back down.
Yulian's hold on him is unrelenting even though his sanity is slipping through his grasp. The other devours more of him, steadily making his way to the base, letting his saliva ease the slide and when Yulian thrusts up this time heâs not stopped. The head of his cock hits the back of the otherâs throat and makes him gag but he just opens his jaw wider and breathes through it.Â
Letting him in.
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The thought of being inside the other in any way has him dizzy. The constriction of that god-sent throat has him writhing. He plants his feet more firmly on the bed and his thrusts grow frantic. Vaughnâs mouth is wet and warm and holy shit, this is where he belongs.
The other lets him chase after his peak, his tongue digging into the side of his cock, and hallowing his cheeks on every pull out. The slide feels heavenly and sporadically Vaughn traces his teeth over him and the threat of a bite that never comes has him howling. Heâd be worried about the force he puts into each thrust if his brain wasnât completely offline.
Vaughnâs hands roam freely. They grab at his chest. One stays there, rubbing his nipples raw as the other descends to clench at his forearm. Before Yulian can hold the hand with his own, itâs gone, digging into his thighs and moving them farther apart. Yulian is on the brink of insanity.
Spit and precum slide down his cock and balls and his hole and he can feel how damp it is under him and fuck these bedsheets are absolutely ruined and Vaughn will bitch about that laterâ
A finger is pushed inside him using the spit gathered there and rubs at his prostate insistently. His brain short circuits, His orgasm hitting him like a train wreck.
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âBaby!â He whines and shakes his way through it, still thrusting inside the wet willing mouth of his boyfriend. His legs are flailing about and heâs clawing his fingers into Vaughnâs free hand. He hadnât even realised he was close. With what little strength left in his hands he pushes at the otherâs shoulder to get him off. Vaughn gives a hard suck that has him whimpering in delightful agony before pulling off with a soft peck at his spent cock.Â
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Yulian opens his jaw wide open in anticipation as his boyfriend comes up. A perfect eyebrow is raised at him in question, as if he canât see the otherâs bulging flushed cheek. If the other even thinks of not sharing heâs causing a riot.
He pulls at the other and opens his jaw wider with a whine, and gets a mouthful of cum and spit in answer.
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Making sure the other gets a good view before gulping it all down, he licks his lips after with relish, theatrical enough that his ass gets swatted playfully.Â
âI didnât tell you to swallowâ, Vaughn reprimands indifferently before folding over him again. He sucks the leftover taste on him, latching on to Yulianâs tongue. The first taste has him groaning. Thatâs his taste making Vaughn dig his tongue deep into his mouth and swallowing all that he can reach. The taste of his spend and Vaughnâs own spit and the shit alcohol he downed tonight.Â
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Jesus, he feels deprived.
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Vaughnâs body glides against his own sweat covered skin. Heâs suddenly very aware of the hard cock sliding against his groin. His own dick wasnât going soft despite the very intense, very recent orgasm. No surprise there. That thing knows no limit when itâs around Vaughn.Â
Has he professed his love for the otherâs currently pulsing dick enough? Heâll say it again.
Vaughn is the perfect specimen, dark eyes and hair, sculpted face and muscled body. To top it all off, heâs absolutely packing, about the same size as him with a curve that hits his sweet spot with every thrust. The perfect cock to suck and frot and most importantly lose your virginity to.
Fuck, he really loves the pretty dick.
The owner and the thing.
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Heâs here working himself up into a frenzy and the fact that the other has enough inhibition not to fuck Yulianâs brain out is getting very insulting.
So he takes the matter into his own hands.
Literally.
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Sneaking a hand between them, he manages to stroke the otherâs cock a couple of times. It fits perfectly in his handâclear proof that he was made for him. The touch earns him the most beautiful tortured sound before his hand is dragged aside.Â
âDonât want to cum in your hand, Volchonok.â The man mumbles his plea into his collarbone, âInside you yeah, baby? Please?â
Yulianâs going to combust. His insatiable libido is ablaze with the words, adding to the urgency of needing to feel the other inside, trembling and pounding and growling.
Heâd bend over backwards, though frankly heâs not very bendy in the physical department, for him and heâs here saying please?
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as if he wouldnât let the other man fuck him raw and dry and use him anywhere anytime and the only thing stopping them is Vaughnâs own stupid intercourse conditions policiesâ
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âVolchonok donât space out on me nowâ He feels a breathless laugh on his skin, the other sounding aroused beyond relief. Vaughnâs been so smiley tonight, he doesnât even care that itâs at his own expense.Â
âI heard you. You want to fuck me.â Yulian drawls in his usual annoying manner and pushes his legs as far as they can go. âWhat I donât get is why youâre still talking instead of getting to workâ.
He frees the hand Vaughnâs holding down, the one that was doing him a favour before being pushed aside because you know philanthropy is a thankless job, and brings the others hand up before spitting into it. He pushes the spit covered hand between the cleft of his ass, holding his fingers and making him trace his rim.Â
âIâm gonna go soft at this rateâ, He lies like the liar he is.
His dick is a Vaughn superfan. He wonât be going soft around the other man, not in this life.
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Vaughn just sends him the most deadpan look heâs ever seen. Without breaking eye contact he flicks harshly at the tip of his cock with his free hand which has Yulian hissing in pain and leans down to push his cheeks apart before spitting directly on his hole. Yulianâs whole body seizes. Why was that so fucking hot?
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While Yulian contemplates the meaning of life the other pushes two fingers in. Itâs a bit of a stretch but itâs not horrible enough for him to ask for a break.
âLooser than expectedâ comes the extremely clinical observation. Yulian looks up dazedly, the otherâs smirk barely coming into focus albeit itâs clear as day in Vaughnâs voice, âBeen having fun by yourself, baby?â
âDonât act like you werenât aware of me masturbating to your voice everytime you called, Mishkaâ he snorts, and demands the other to go faster.
Fingers force him open, fast and relentless. Admittedly, the slide is dry and it burns, the spit not enough of a lubricant to ease the way but he loves it. Vaughn is here, over him and inside him and his gutâs about to be rearranged to fit the shape of the other. He can deal with a bit of burning. Before long a third finger is added and then a fourth.Â
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He whines when theyâre removed from him and comes to the sound of a cap popping off, witnessing the glorious moment Vaughn wraps a hand around himself to lather it in lube.
His boyfriend drops down to land one last hard suck at his hole, letting spit drip into him and finally he feels the familiar shape of the otherâs cock.
Vaughn doesnât stand on ceremony and pushes in with one forceful shove that has him drowning the otherâs deep groan in his own scream. It burns where heâs forced open. But the pain means Vaughn is here and it just heightens his pleasure. He brings the other down by his shoulder for another kiss, âJust moveâ are the only words he can manage.
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The other doesnât waste time being polite. He pulls Yulianâs legs up and folds him as far as he goes, setting up a brutal pace from the get go. Every slide lands with a resounding slap, his hole clenching on every pull back. His hips work tirelessly thrusting himself back onto the cock ramming into him, and it feels like his prostate never stops being stimulated. Heâs stuck in the neverending phantom feelings of release.
Floating in and out of his surrounding, Yulian tries to focus on the man fucking him through the bed. Their shared scent lingering on the bed and the smell of sweat and sex envelop him, his lips throb with the reminder of every kiss theyâve shared. Words erode him; he's too far gone to tease. Heâs left only with the sounds of immense pleasure, loud and broken.
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âEyes on me Volchonokâ, A choked command forces his eyes open. He gets a gentle pat on his stomach for obeying. The movement has him following the hand to look down at where theyâre connected. His mouth dries at the sight of Vaughnâs sweaty skin, the muscles of his abdomen rippling as he drives into him. The other is disappointingly barren of Yulianâs own hickeys, the only marks he managed to leave on him all night are the rosy lines clawed into his skin. Heâll have to redeem it next round. His insides constrict at the thought.
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âFuck, sweatheart. Not so tight.â The other sobs and the sound makes him clench tighter, âYouâre gonna snap my dick off, baby.âÂ
Yulian whines at the prospect of not having this dick to bounce on. This is one tool he wonât break, damn it.
Vaughn changes the angle and he throws his head back, baring his neck as a new spot is hit. The other wastes no time in latching on to the vulnerable offering.
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âFuck. Fuck me, Mishka, Right there!â He gets an animalistic growl in answer and the pace of the other driving into him gets brutal. Hard and fast, leaving him no space to breath.
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âBaby, Come on. Come with me.â Vaughn murmurs the words as he ruts into him, hitting his prostate dead on and the second orgasm of the night washes over him.
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He cums hard. Each snap of the otherâs hips makes his own cock hit his stomach, prolonging the release. It gets everywhere, landing on their stomachs and chests and his own face. His man licks it off him. A few more abrupt off-rhythm thrusts and Yulian feels the tell-tale signs of his pending orgasm with the way he pulses and grows inside, his breath panting out and the hold on him shaky.Â
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So he clenches as the other slides out and Vaughn finally lets go. A familiar warmth fills him inside. There isnât enough space in him for all the cumâthereâs so much of it. Clearly Vaughn wasnât as lucky as him, rubbing one off anytime he got hornyâand the otherâs huge cock. It dribbles out of him. His insatiable dick gives a violent painful twitch.
Vaughn sprawls over him without pulling out, caging him in between his arms. Yulian returns the hug. He finally has him right where he wants him. The sound of their breaths fills the air and the feel of their bodies coming down from their highs grounding them.
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âWill you believe me this time if I say youâre the only one for me?â
Yulian startles. These arenât the words he expected to hear after having his mind blown, fucked filthy and rough into the bed. Maybe a youâre beautiful or youâre the best fuck of my life or he doesnât know maybe I need to fuck you again. Whatever happened to common courtesy?
Vaughn doesnât seem to like the lack of response. He pushes up with his arms on both sides of his head and pulls his dick out of him, which just tells Yulian that his boyfriendâs lost all common senseâwhat kind of idiot leaves âthe best place theyâve ever beenâ.
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He stares at the man hovering next to him. The lights in their room are dim and shadows stretch across the otherâs skin. Somehow he looks more devastating for it. He briefly catches the sight of Vaughnâs tattoo. The coordinates inked into his thigh.
In all this madness heâd forgotten about it. The tattoo Vaughn got for them. For him. Etched into his skin forever. In a previous moment of weakness heâd actually checked the coordinates. Just to see if the cave would really show up.
It did.
Heâs been doubting this man too much. Vaughn didnât deserve it, not with the amount of sincerity heâs poured into what they have.
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âI believe youâ He says firmly, his voice coming out steady and sure.
 Whatever the other finds as his gaze lands on him must make him happy because a toothy grin, one heâs never seen on Mishka before, appears on his face.
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âYeah?â
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âYeah.âÂ
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Vaughn starts kissing him all over his face. His eyelids, his nose, his cheeks, forehead and lips. Nothing goes unappreciated and he reciprocates as many as he can. This is the sweetest moment of his life. So sweet he can taste it on his tongue, running through his bloodstream.
He might as well quit sugar after this if he doesnât want diabetes.
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The pleasant moment is interrupted by his horny hindbrain. Not getting the memo his cock hardens.
This is probably not a battlefield you bring a hard dick to.Â
The other feels the stiffening cock against his thigh and pulls away to send an unimpressed look its way. He answers with an impish grin of his own.
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âBaby I need toââ
âFuck me. Yes, I know you minx. Give me a minute.â He sighs and plops down next to him but Yulianâs impatient and let's be real nobody would be able to resist his Mishka when he looks freshly tousled and sweaty and just lying there in all his naked glory. Not that anyone else will ever get the chance to resist. Heâs all his.
âNope. Too long.â He rolls atop the other and gets to work.
Vaughn laughs and he swallows it down in the dark.