Professional Enby

where I dabble in law school, mental illness, and queerality

[mentalhealth]

you are not a failure for not being on top of your game right now. you must not compare yourself to those around you who don’t struggle with mental illness, who’ve never known the darkness of depression, or ridden the extreme highs of mania that lead you down a path of destruction and crashing hard at the end, or the anxiety that suffocates you whole in most situations, or what it’s like growing up without the embrace of a supportive family, or how it feels to spend days on end in a hospital with other patients suffering the same pain as you, or to face the moment of not wanting to choose life anymore. you deserve to be proud of yourself for making it through day to day with all of this going on, to still manage to wake up every morning even if all you can do is sit with your pain. you do not deserve to beat yourself to a pulp for not making it on top everyday. you deserve to be compassionate with yourself, to be forgiving, to understand. you have to know i’m proud of you.

[storybookprincess]

suddenly remembered this poem as i was making breakfast this morning & frantically googled “poem remembered to buy eggs?????????” & somehow managed to find it & it utterly knocked the wind out of me just as much as when i first read it

[the-punk-innovator]

How to make a TuxDress guide zine (no sew project)

Hey y’all! I’m very happy to announce the launch of my tuxdress zine!! The purpose of the zine is to easily teach anyone who might want to put together a tuxedo dress for any event like school dances, formal events, or weddings. No sewing is involved, buy the zine to learn more!! 

All of this started four years ago when pictures of my high school senior prom outfit went viral on tumblr and hundreds of you have been asking me how to make the tuxdress or inquiring if I could make one for sale. Unfortunately, I was 17 years old at the time when the tuxdress got popular so I had no financial way to do full production. Instead I have been directly Dming people over the years and guiding them on how to make their own at home. At age 21, I still do not have the means to start production on such a huge project as formal wear is very expensive and I do not trust my business skills to start a gofundme or kickstarter to make them on my own. Even if I were to make tuxdresses, the cost of labor would make the end product very expensive and I do not want to pose the tuxdress as an expensive or out-of-reach project as I am a transgender person with a deep understanding of how poor the queer community is due to marginalization. My hope is that this zine will make queer friendly formal wear accessible to all people. I wrote the zine itself with a queer, gender non conforming, and transgender audience in mind so it also includes a section of LGBTQ+ legal rights in the US for queer students who want to wear this outfit to prom. 

PLEASE SPREAD THIS SO FUTURE LGBTQ+ PEOPLE CAN KNOW THAT THERE IS FORMAL WEAR OPTION OUT THERE FOR THEM. WE DON’T HAVE TO SUFFER UNDER THE BINARY OF TUXEDOS OR DRESSES ANYMORE.

Pictures of my tux dress have been stolen without credit and posted all over the internet and I have never received any money for creating this idea. I have turned down business offers in the past to create the tux dress as a luxury item that would sell for thousands of dollars. I never want the tuxdress to become something just for rich people. I want this to be for everyone so I have made this zine to be as cheap as possible. I have a thread here on what the process of making the zine was like. I love my Trans and Queer community so much and I hope that this zine can be my way of giving back to a community that has shown me so much love in return. Thank you for reading!

Please send any questions or business inquires to [email protected]

[nonbinaryresource]

[Photo at the top of the post is a spread of text and a photo of a young person in a tuxedo-top with a high-low dress-bottom with heels on, all laid over a trans colored background.

Title: “The-punk-innovator’s DIY Guide for making your own tux dress. ~ZINE FOR SALE~”

Text: “Finally after all these years I have written down my tux dress secrets in this 8 page zine! It answers questions about who, what, where, and how to create your own tux dress.”

Text: “How to Order (in the US):

Paypal me at [email protected]

Email me at the same address with your receipt attached and shipping details

I will email you back and accept payment when it has been sent!

International orders please email me directly for shipping rates”

Text: “$5: Physical copy! Comes with two pride stickers and a hand written note *text heart emoji*”

Text: “$3: Digital copy! Comes with a PDF of the zine and a guide on how to print n’ fold the zine at home”]

[transpeterafterdark]

[transpeterafterdark]

[cantdewwrite]

The dress he’s referring to. 😍

[ilyone]

A) This look is fabulous

B) Robe is just the French word for dress and that makes me laugh every time. Like sure, if calling it a dress in French makes you feel better wearing it… XD

[malus-syl-vestris-deactivated20]

That’s a beautiful dress, he looks very stylish and professional!

[professionalenby]

This is what I want to get married in

[turquoise-summers]

Jokes for people who overthink too much

[amsterdam--canals]

my anxiety is everything here

[daenerys-targaryen-moved]

gandalf relaying an important message to remember during these scary times ♡

[the-positive-princess]

[bananajeph-deactivated20180116]

when will people realize that getting professional help for mental illnesses is no where near as easy and simple as they make it out to be

[oozins]

NOT EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE SOMETHING ELSE

[professionalenby]

Trying to explain my illness to other people

[professionalenby]

Name Change

I don’t know why this isn’t something that people in the trans community talk about more. But today I took an important step in my transition, and at the same time one that was quite small. I had my name legally changed. I’d been going by this name for three years. Everyone in my life calls me by it - except my pharmacist and my bank. But after having to be dead named at the ER and in my legal documents I am so done. And now I have all I need to make everyone change it. That’ll be a headache for another day.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[professionalenby]

What really pisses me off about my university healthcare is how good they are about physical illness. There is no limit on the number of times you can see a doctor. You can sign up for appointments online, or come in and see someone with an appointment. You can literally be walked to the ER from the university’s medical system. They don’t have all the specialists, but they will help you get there.

Meanwhile, you are limited to 6 sessions PER YEAR with a therapist. You have to sign a bunch of paperwork and fill out forms and come in for a consult before you can get an appointment. They don’t do long term mental health care - it’s only acceptable if you’re in a little crisis. Their “referrals” are pulling something from the internet. 

[feverdreamsuggestion]

Your ribs are shattered, replaced by thorns wrapped none too gently around your lungs, and you breathe blood, red and warm like the dahlia blooming so sweetly in your flesh.

[professionalenby]

this is what my psychosis feels like sometimes

[idontlikethepublic]

nevermind, everyone. i am NOT going to start latuda, as well as it may have worked, because my pharmacist has informed me that it is ONE THOUSAND FUCKING US DOLLARS

[professionalenby]

I thought I would have this problem too, but if your insurance approves it it should go to your deductible and then once you use your deductible up copay is $15, so if you are going to use your deductible anyway (like me) might be worth it

[catchymemes]

[professionalenby]

I’m in a place such that the only thing “RBG” stands for is Ruth Bader Ginsberg

[mindingmyownbrain]

“A female with ADHD may be less hyperactive and less impulsive than her male counterpart. Instead she may present with more subtle symptoms such as being disorganized, scattered, forgetful, introverted, withdrawn and socially isolated. She may have great difficulty keeping her focus on tasks, becoming side-tracked and easily distracted by things around her or even by her own thoughts. It may take her a little longer to process information, so that she appears “slow” or “spacey” or “flighty”, when in fact she may be highly intelligent. She may have a low tolerance for stress, feel extremely sensitive to criticism, and work hard to conform to adult expectations in hopes of gaining approval from others. She may have a hard time saying “no” to others, over committing to responsibilities that she cannot fulfill. It may be difficult for her to make firm decisions on even simple tasks, so that she seems wishy-washy and indecisive. Problem solving situations can become overwhelming and she may often find herself stuck, experiencing a sense of paralysis, unable to move forward at all. Managing her time can be quite a challenge, as well, and “running late” may be her norm. She may also be hypersensitive to her environment – the noise, the sights, even touch – and quickly become overloaded, “shutting down” and unable to function. She may feel and incredible sense of shame, berating herself for not “living up to her potential”.”

— Keath Low, MA

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

[salty-lesbians]

I literally do all of this?

[lilmoth95]

A lot of this also overlaps with ASD and C-PTSD. 

Here are some videos of Gabor Mate talking about ADHD and how it has roots in how our capitalistic society is structured and how trauma can affect a person in these ways. 

Dr. Gabor Maté on ADHD, Bullying and the Destruction of American Childhood

FASD, ADHD or both with Dr. Gabor Maté

Dr Gabor Maté on ADHD

Chris Ryan, Gabor Mate - Attention Deficit Disorder

[fallenwearenot]

This sounds just like me in my teen years… even now I struggle with basic tasks

[tiney-tadpole]

Yall, what's a gender neutral term for sir/ma'am?

I know there must be one, but I can't think of it. I tried lookin it up but gave up cuz I'm dumm 😭

[professionalenby]

yeah I need help with this for martial arts where Everyone is addressed either as Sir/Ma’am. It is entirely non-optional; to not sure a signifier would be incredibly disrespectful

[anniespositivity]

It takes so much strength to show up every single day; to show up when you do not want to face anyone or anything, to show up when you are hurting and do not even know why, to show up when you feel absolutely lost, to show up when all you wish is for the pain to finally disappear. I see you, my love. I see how hard it is and I see how much strength it costs you. You are such a warrior. And I know that right now you may feel like giving up but please do not lose hope. Right now it is all about pushing through even though you feel like you are too weak, even though you feel like breaking. You can absolutely do this. I believe in you. Hold on a little longer, for good days will come, I promise. This is your sign; do not give up darling, for you will find peace and you will heal.

[professionalenby]

need this