Nap Paladin

im the man you should pick like a pikmin | moe miles edgeworth icon via @pacaparadise

[nerdkiller]

Trying to maintain my swagful whimsy and optimism rn in the face of an anti-whimsy society

[latedawnsandearlysunsets]

[actualized-animal]

every chapter of deltarune has a secret npc who only appears if you leave and re-enter the room 1225 times while you have a bagel in your seventh inventory slot and the npc is a sentient doorknob and when you talk to them the music cuts out and they’re like “who’s that whispering in the trees, it’s two sailors and they’re on leave, pipes and chains and swinging hands, who’s your daddy, yes i am” and then within four hours there’s a thirty minute long video on youtube titled “ASGORE IS FRIEND??? DADDY THEORY EXPLAINED” and it already has 100,000 views and then a year later people call the next chapter disappointing because it was focusing too much on developing the main characters instead of explaining the doorknob guy

[kushblazer666]

[bewbin]

EVERYOBODY GET DOWN HES TAKING A CREATIVE LIBERTY

[pumpkinspicebluntwrap]

?

[silenthill]

when my bf was visiting this past spring i had to keep telling him to sleep in bed w me without a shirt on and always played it off like it was bc i think hes hot (i do) but the truth is i’m a super aggro sleeper and i was so scared i was going to grab the front of his shirt and headbutt him as hard as i possibly could. i could not risk exploding his skull.. 

[silenthill]

when he left he gave me one of his shirts so i could put it on the djungleskog he brought me and i do regularly wake up with my fists white knuckle balled up in the shirt after going in for the headbutt and missing, ricocheting off my apartment building wall hard enough to knock my 3ds off the nightstand, due to the floppy nature of the djungleskog bear. my worries are not unfounded i hope my bf can survive.

[silenthill]

Honestly nothing but respect to the user who tagged this post “Sleep Violence.”

[duckdotcom]

oh! i should totally tell them about- *glances at my "am i being annoying" meter in the corner of my vision* ...i often find such peace in silent reflection 😌

[mclennonyaoi]

reading this deposition that just got dropped where someone sued musk and ohhhh my god it is this funniest thing ever . i can see why his lawyer tried to keep this confidential . they’re both maybe the biggest idiots . this is like ace attorney

[mclennonyaoi]

Elon Musk Didn’t Want His Latest Deposition Released. Here It Is.

Musk is being sued for falsely suggesting a 22-year-old Jewish man was part of a neo-Nazi brawl.

Elon Musk Deposed In Lawsuit For Falsely Linking Jewish Man To Neo-Nazi Brawl

Elon Musk was deposed in a recent lawsuit for falsely linking a 22-year-old Jewish man to a neo-Nazi brawl. Musk, who attempted to keep the

PLEASE read this

[mclennonyaoi]

[mclennonyaoi]

[mclennonyaoi]

[mclennonyaoi]

bankston is my HERO he’s tearing these people apart

[mclennonyaoi]

damn

[mclennonyaoi]

HE LEFT

[mclennonyaoi]

????

[mclennonyaoi]

oh my god

[mclennonyaoi]

KILL HIM

[mclennonyaoi]

he is DONE.

[mclennonyaoi]

HELP ME .

[mclennonyaoi]

wow. ok.

[mclennonyaoi]

[mclennonyaoi]

genuinely first two pages he says that he thinks ben’s lawyer is the one who is actually suing him and admits he has no clue what the lawsuit is about .

[mclennonyaoi]

doing a reread now this is so cunty

[mclennonyaoi]

goddamn .

[cryptotheism]

fun fact: the Mr. Bankston here is Mark Bankston, the same lawyer who absolutely ruined Alex Jones during the Sandy Hook trial.

[ex-libris-craux]

how in the fuck did the muskrat's attorney pass the bar

[ruffboi-mags]

Mark Bankston is gonna make me fucking SWOON.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I don't think Mark can ever top "INDEED, MR. JONES, INDEED" and "AND THAT IS HOW I KNOW YOU LIED TO ME" from the first Sandy Hook trial in Texas (not to be confused with Chris Mattei, the attorney in the Connecticut trial), but this part

MR. SPIRO: Do you give these lectures at all of your depositions? MR. BANKSTON: I do, and you can watch them.

is ESPECIALLY hilarious to me having listened to multiple depositions Mark has had to take in the Sandy Hook case, where he has needed to lecture EVERY. SINGLE. ATTORNEY. at some point in the case about how they're violating Texas Rule XYZ, because they all, to a one, did something seriously ethically questionable during the deposition.

like, YOU CAN WATCH/LISTEN TO HIS DEPOS. HE DOES HAVE TO GIVE THOSE LECTURES EVERY TIME. IT'S NOT EVEN A JOKE.

[niceinchnails]

Was carrying my pants i havent worn for a while and 4 gold doubloons and 2 rocks fell out

[pseudomantis]

[shetheyslain]

Are we all having a jiggly bouncing Saturday?

[bunniope]

maybe charlie kirk got stung by a veryfast wasp

[bunniope]

maybe jfk also got stung by a veryfast wasp

[hateusandseeifwemind]

[pinene]

Can anyone explain wtf is going on here especially a Korean speaker

[tadeadshihamurder]

someone on reddit explained 😭

[no-one-offical]

‎

[desmolbean404]

That is one of the most astronomical fuck up translations I have ever seen.

[teaboot]

Remember! When companies lay off all their staff because AI is cheaper, this sort of shit is what you can leverage for a better contract when they are inevitably forced to hire everyone back :)

[zeitghost]

[Talking to my princess faildaughter after I caught her making pathetic puppy eyes at the maid] Life isn't a swagophile post bitch. You’re getting married to a dude named Gunther

[meezer]

haters will see you going to therapy and be like he cant afford sixpenceee heals

[oneheadtoanother]