:/

it me :)

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[roycohn]

i cannot do another round of "is shaving feminist?" discourse again, i simply cannot do it. is shaving feminist? no! do feminists shave their bodies? yes! is this a deep betrayal of principles? not really! do some women actually shave for the mythical "sensory reasons"? well, considering that my number one reason for shaving my legs in the summer is because my ceiling fan blows on the hair and i'm constantly having mini freakouts that i've got a bug crawling on me, i'd imagine some do! is it okay for a woman to say to herself "i realize i'm mostly doing this because i don't want to be treated worse by people in the world who find my unshaven legs disgusting, but i'm still going to do it because i don't think suffering for no reason is virtuous" and shave? yes! will yelling at her to "think critically about her choices" until she agrees with you actually work? no! does any of this make it any easier to get an abortion in this country? nope! have we replaced the "is this pop star a feminist?" discourse of the 2010s with "are your personal choices antithetical to the tenets of feminism?" discourse in the 2020s, none of which is conveniently focused on the actual loci of power?? hahahahahahaaaaa

[night-the-starfish]

Hunter and prey, markers on paper.

[mint-swirl]

clown event still possible

[cozy2000]

shoutout to when i made the most stress inducing contraption ever just to automate my pokewalker

[pekingopera]

[shadowgremlin]

My wife’s idea of decompressing after the busy holiday was to rearrange every piece of furniture in our home is this an ADHD thing or just a her thing

I’m not complaining the way she’s done it is much better than it was it’s just like how is this your idea of a relaxing weekend

[kaity--did]

Listen I don't get to decide when the drunk elf that is my executive actually does the functioning but when he does we have a SMALL WINDOW OF TIME before he finds the schnapps again and we're done

[honeysbunchesofoats]

[kaity--did]

yes this exactly

[luminouspica]

So to me, there are spoons (general energy cost) and carnival tickets (specific energy cost).

Spoons can be used pretty much anywhere.

Carnival tickets are only good for the carnival, and it’s only in town for a limited amount of time.

So like, if I get “kitchen cleaning” carnival tickets, I can’t use that to clean my bedroom, that’s not where the carnival is.

[lingonberry24]

phrase added to permanent vocabulary

[helenekuragina]

you cannot make a post about how men put women in certain boxes without someone going "but what if i love the box? what if i've decided that it's comfortable in the box? are you gonna tell me i'm not ALLOWED to like the box? not very feminist of you to police a woman's decisions... maybe you'd be less ugly and miserable if you stopped talking about the box LMFAO #Girlboss #MyBox<3"

[helenekuragina]

#and its like. 'what if ive decided its comfortable to be in the box' it is always going to be more comfortable to be in the box #they will reward you for staying in the box and punish you for trying to leave it #that doesnt mean the box is like. a good place to be — @butchfaith

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Sometimes you step out of the box, and you're free of the box, and you're out of the box, and you realize you are fairly box shaped. So you sit down, and you do a lot of introspection about whether or not you were always box shaped, or if you grew into the shape of the box after being forced into the box for so long, and whether or not there are stunted parts of you, that might grow, now that you're out of the box, or if you should just maybe wear the box around as a fashion accessory that conveniently makes life so much easier while living among those who expect you to be in the box, and in the middle of your naval gazing someone always shows up to try and put you back in the box.

And you realize that regardless of whether or not you actually fit in the box, it's dark in there.

[proteidaes]

Moon joy 🚀🌕

[ryan-sometimes]

LMAOOOO

[furnishedfurnace]

"I have a problem with my trans son. Not because he's trans, but because he inhaled all our food like fucking Kirby."

[bogleech]

Voting did matter. Even the worst democrat or in all honesty the next worst republican was not going to do all this exact same crazy shit. Voting cannot fix a broken system but if the system asks you to weigh in on how much more broken it wants to get, you can tell it "no, not that far please" instead of effectively "I don't care, go hog fucking wild"

So please vote in the midterms, for the least evil options on the ballots, instead of telling them you just don't mind who they put in charge of whatever the hell they want.

[bananonbinary]

goosebumps as a concept are so funny ur brain is like "oh no we're threatened! quick! make us look bigger!" and your skin, that absolutely does not have the ability to do that, is like "absolutely. right away boss"

[rumade]

I’d divorce him too lmao

[sustainableseparatists]

[sisyphereantask]

It’s never JUST about the tomatoes.

[probablyasocialecologist]

Basically!

Throughout the day, partners would make requests for connection, what Gottman calls “bids.” For example, say that the husband is a bird enthusiast and notices a goldfinch fly across the yard. He might say to his wife, “Look at that beautiful bird outside!” He’s not just commenting on the bird here: He’s requesting a response from his wife—a sign of interest or support—hoping they’ll connect, however momentarily, over the bird.

The wife now has a choice. She can respond by either “turning toward” or “turning away” from her husband, as Gottman puts it. Though the bird-bid might seem minor and silly, it can actually reveal a lot about the health of the relationship. The husband thought the bird was important enough to bring it up in conversation and the question is whether his wife recognizes and respects that.

These bidding interactions had profound effects on marital well-being. Couples who had divorced after a six-year follow-up had “turn-toward bids” 33 percent of the time. Only three in 10 of their bids for emotional connection were met with intimacy. The couples who were still together after six years had “turn-toward bids” 87 percent of the time. Nine times out of 10, they were meeting their partner’s emotional needs.

The Secret to Love Is Just Kindness

Those who showed genuine interest in their partner’s joys were more likely to be together.

[educatedsavage]

Damn, this made me think of all the “shouting into the void” social media posts everyone makes. Just bids for connection. From ANYONE.

[c-ptsdrecovery]

I think that is ABSOLUTELY what a lot of that is. Our culture is very isolated (even BEFORE covid!), and we’re desperate to connect with others. I read an article one time that suggested that childcare workers stop saying that a child is “Just wants attention” and start saying that the child is “looking for connection.” We’re starved for it even from childhood.

[seymour-butz-stuff]

[sosayset]

When they are speaking about a passion, respond to children as if you would a tenured professor at a prestigious university, and to an adult as if you would a child free of the burdens of adulthood. 

Children are desperate to teach the wonders of the world that they know, that they have just learned, and share it with anyone interested.  Adults pour passion they didn’t know they had into voluntary obligations, and crave a simple acknowledgment of that passion as being worthy and valid. 

“Dear third grader, tell me exactly why you chose <x> as you third favorite carnivorous dinosaur instead of second, as specifically as possible.”

“Hey neighbor, your vegetable garden is absolutely gorgeous this year…and no I’m not just saying that because the tomatoes you gave me last year were absolute perfection.”

[salmonandsoup]

And if you can’t respond to the emotional bid at that moment, let them know you heard them. If there’s a gorgeous bird outside, ask your loved one to take a picture so you can share in it together. But by god, hear them. Tell them they were listened to.

[doomhamster]

That *is* a response though! Telling someone “I’m busy/low on energy right this moment, but if it’s possible, I’d love for you to show me this thing later” works just fine. At least so long as you establish a pattern of actually following up on it, even if it’s just going “hey, wasn’t there a thing you wanted to show me? a bird?”

Most people hate being told “later”, but that’s just because most people who say “later” really mean “I can’t be bothered”.

[yesterdaysprint]

The Richmond Item, Indiana, August 19, 1922

[thoughtcascades]

every time i get close to someone i feel like a stray dog trying to live in a house. like i don’t know where to put my body or how loud i’m allowed to be.

[unofficial-autism-post]

Unofficial Autism Post

[enki2]

[babygalinlace-deactivated202511]

[patricia-taxxon]

sick of streaming platforms' blatant disrespect towards the sanctity of the "watching end-credits while collecting your thoughts" ritual