some podcasts scored by how much their protagonists are living the ethos of “be gay, do crime”
The Penumbra. goes without saying. the vast majority of speaking characters in the Juniverse are gay criminals 10/10
The Adventure Zone: boosted most not by Taako’s larcenous tendencies but by literally everything Hurley and Sloane ever did because they’re spectacular, also lesbian thief Carey Fangbattle. special points to Lup and Aubrey for Trans Arson and Bisexual Arson respectively. points deducted for Kravitz basically being a death cop 8/10
Caravan: indescribably gay but not really any crimes 2/10
Superstition: like any good PI, jack st james does an impressive amount of crime for someone who’s friends with a cop. also Sam and Oliver did crimes against my heart 5/10
The Blood Crow Stories: Hey. Everett Woodyard? I love you. 9/10
Death by Dying: the obituary writer does a lot of crimes & I love him for it 4.5/10
Mabel: in a dark fairytale love story is regicide a crime? 3/10
Palimpsest: okay same question but murder’s definitely a crime in this one 7/10
The Strange Case of Starship Iris: literally everything on this show is gay crime. groundbreaking. iconic. I love it so much 11/10
Welcome to Night Vale: Cecil is incredibly gay and has done many crimes. I’m proud of him. 6/10
ars Paradoxica: there’s a lot of gay treason and gay espionage in here, which are pretty rad gay crimes, and also a lot of much less rad crime but it’s still pretty gay. also I suspect that Timeswimmers might be a crime against something 10/10
Wooden Overcoats: I mean. 2/10
The 12:37: they’re gay. they’re doing crimes. they’re on a train. what more could you ask for 8/10
The Far Meridian: peri does not apply for planning permits to put that lighthouse any of those places & ruth literally stole the stars out of the sky 6/10
Love and Luck: almost entirely comprised of gay tenderness but not really any crimes except for a smattering of vigilante justice which lbr shouldn’t count 0.5/10
Greater Boston: Gemma, Chuck, Tyrell, Mallory, and Poletti all do an impressive amount of crime, and much of it is done on behalf of significant others, so it’s really quite gay 7/10
The Nuclear Solution: main character completely abandons the initial premise like five episodes in to be whisked off into the wasteland by a dashing rogue to be gay and do crime, 8/10
The Bridge: legal jurisdiction over the middle of the Atlantic Ocean is a thorny question but I’m just going to assume that there are some crimes happening because let’s be real Kate and Etta especially are Here To Do Crimes. 4/10
Wolf 359: oh Daniel Jacobi, what would we do without you? 5/10
Overkill: are Ghost Crimes a thing? I think they should be I think ghosts should get to do crimes especially ghosts who had crimes done to them 4/10
Arden: very gay but they’re solving crimes instead of committing them. 1/10
The Amelia Project: just an absolute shitton of crimes all the time. now if it could only be gayer. points for gay santa 2/10
Inkwyrm: the only crime committed here is looking fabulous 2/10
The Magnus Archives: special points to bisexual icon tim stoker for blowing up an entire wax museum but there’s an awful lot of murder crimes in this show also, not to mention the lesbian arson 7/10
Within the Wires: whole first season is about being super gay and doing rad crimes against your terrible government, excellent stuff, 8/10
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