padded thingssss

28yo trans girl, SFW age regressor,belongs in nappies and looking to become bladder incontinent. Autistic, CPTSD, chronic pain, she/they. oh also 420

[puddlegirlie]

For anyone new here:

I am autistic. I am a trans girl. I have never had success with paid employment via conventional job markets. This is due to their transphobia and ableism.

My bio family are transphobic. I have been in the care system. The care system lies and fails to tell you important sh*t. Thus whenever I've tried to make important life decisions they've always fcked it up for me.

I have chronic pain from a back injury. I am unlikely to ever be totally pain free. My condition is most often called Central Pain Syndrome.

These things are all beyond my control.

Thus in order to have an adult life with stable income and housing whilst also keeping on top of adult responsibilities I need untraining to bladder incontinence so I don't even have to think abt going. It is that much of a distraction both in sensory and social expectation circles (for adult WC habits n ethos.) Denying the facts of this is ableist.

I have also been thru plenty of diff traumas. These traumas leave me with cptsd as a fair few started/occurred in childhood. That is why I'm an age regressor. My age regression is nonsexual. As is my need for being padded 24/7 etc in future life.

Ignore the ableist shithead bigots saying other things about me - and if you've read this far reply to this with the word banana or message me with the word microwave to show you know and accept the facts and truth of the situation as per this post.

[puddlegirlie]

It's my 3 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[swordofvalor]

Trans women were born women, I hope this helps 👍🏾

[agarthium]

ruthless Shepard choosing to save the rachni queen on Noveria because she's tired of being a bogeyman and is losing hope in herself and wants to at least be able to Save Something

[skelekerrry]

Here's some Saren in your feed

[glwblog]

Reblog If…

[glwblog]

Mommy Approves of This Message…

[autogynophelia]

I'm running a pride event for trans people with a transmasc acquaintance. They've written a quiz for the event about queer history. In one of the questions, referencing a period in history pre-dating the terms "trans women/men", they refer to trans women as "crossdressers" and trans men as "trans men".

I've had to call attention to this in the most convoluted way, going out of my way to thank them profusely for their efforts, positive emojis etc etc, pointing out bits I specifically liked, and only then drawing attention to the issue with this one question. I have to point it out as if it's a minor issue, I have to pretend it was an understandable mistake, I have to let them save face by saying "I'm sure you didn't mean it that way". I have to suggest an alternative to give them an easy fix where they don't have to think. Then I have to thank them again and end the message on a high.

Then I have to patiently listen to their nonsensical excuses, and thank them again for changing the text of their quiz. Then write another appeasing message that characterises their transmisogyny as understandable.

And after all this shit I have had to do because a non-transfem wrote some transmisogynistic nonsense, it is me who is left riddled with anxiety. Because every time I call out something like this, even if I am as meek about it as possible, I am rolling the dice as to whether I will end up being smeared as an unreasonable bully and kicked out of this group (which might be a blessing honestly atp).

It often feels like transmisogyny is 10% abuse and 90% consequences for drawing attention to that abuse. "When you expose a problem you pose a problem" indeed, thank you Sara Ahmed for giving me the language to describe this shit 🙏

[puddlegirlie]

You do realise you can actually just call ppl out on their bs? Even in situations like these

[silvermoon424]

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

Reminder that "transwoman" without the space is a transmisogynistic dogwhistle as it's used almost exclusively by hate groups like the "gender critical" movement.

The implication of removing the space is that being trans isn't just one way a woman can be, like being tall or being brunette, but that women who are trans require a whole other noun.

Trans women, tall women, brunette women. Leave the space in; trans is an adjective and trans women are women.

[tankie-transfeminist]

This is transfeminism!

[elierlick]

One year ago, trans women held an iconic topless protest outside the Scottish Parliament. I love it when trans women hold topless demonstrations. If they're arrested, the state must admit they're women. If they aren't, it exposes the obvious contradictions of defining trans women as legally male.

Now, a year later, Parliament has its first two transgender members, one of whom represents JK Rowling in Edinburgh. We can't attribute this momentum solely to the protest, but the direct action seems to have galvanized a new political movement of trans people across Scotland.

[tankie-transfeminist]

This is transfeminism!

[autogynophelia]

Get called a "guy" repeatedly by a trans man acquaintance.

Get your trans man friend to mention to him in private that it's not OK, because you know he won't listen if you tell him.

He apologises profusely to your trans man friend, but not to you.

Your trans man friend replies "No worries, everyone does it, just bear in mind that some people are really sensitive about this stuff 🙂"

Your trans men friend and trans man acquaintance bond over your sensitivity to being misgendered.

Just be glad that you weren't kicked out of the social group for making a fuss 👍

[theren5534]

Ophelia you need better friends

…can I be your friend

[puddlegirlie]

Not the exact same circumstances but I have had this kind of thing happen to me

[autogynophelia]

One of the ways transmisogyny manifests is in default-uncharitable interpretations of ambiguous meaning.

Last week I was at a meetup where I was the only transfem. I checked the groupchat when I arrived and there was a message from the organiser: "We have a newcomer called X, can you look out for him if you get there first?" I located X, introduced myself, sent a message to the chat say, "I have located X," and continued to talk to him until the organiser arrived. When the organiser arrived, she was not happy with me. It turned out my phone had autocorrected, "I have located X," to, "I had located X," which the organiser interpreted as me passive aggressively telling her that I had already done the thing she was asking about. Her conclusion: I was unreasonable and aggressive in responding to her reasonable request. My explaining what had happened didn't convince her otherwise.

A different occasion last week: in a local trans groupchat, a trans man sent a link to a drag event happening in our town. A few people said they were already going, some said they might go. Then a trans woman replied saying, "Thanks, but I don't really like drag." Her tone was immediately called into question. Her words were assumed to communicate: "I think you are a terrible person if you like drag," even though she never said that. Several non-transfems who had never even heard that drag might not be universally-beloved by everyone were upset to discover that fact. A trans woman simply saying she didn't like this thing became A Big Deal.

Meanwhile, at a different event again, a trans man told a group that he was straight and attracted to women, but he wouldn't feel comfortable bringing home an "AMAB woman" (yes he actually said that). It was quickly brushed over, and after he had left even trans women tried to defend him by saying "he probably didnt realise people would be offended" etc etc. In contrast to the examples above, he is not even aware that anyone was upset by what he said, never mind worrying about what consequences he might face.

Whenever I go to an event, I often spend the next 24-48 hours ruminating over every single thing I said to check if I did anything at any time that could even vaguely be construed as annoying to anyone. I have often put this behaviour down to severe anxiety, but I think I am realising that it is actually a rational response to a world where even the slightest social misstep could be blown way out of proportion and result in my later social exclusion. It's one of those things that existed long before I was aware of my own transness but while I was nonetheless transmisogynised by society, a crippling fear of the slightest imperfection that I assumed everyone else felt too but apparently they don't. I guess when other people go out of their way to smoothe over the damage your words or actions might cause, you don't need to stress about that damage because there are no consequences to it! It sounds very nice to be able to live like that.

[autogynophelia]

A frustrating thing about being aware of transmisogyny is how hard it is to convince other transfems (particularly those who are newly out) of its existence as a real form of oppression.

You'll meet a girl who got kicked out of a queer group because of a sex joke she made that landed badly, and she'll just be taking 100% of the blame and saying she deserved it, saying that she should have known her place and been meek and sexless to prove that she's not a predator.

You'll meet a girl who's afraid to go to the laser clinic, because the one time she went she overheard the laser techs arguing about who would be "burdened" with her, and from that she internalised that she *is* a burden that no one should have to deal with.

You'll meet a girl who's gone to the theoretically-inclusive sapphic meetup like ten times, even though no-one ever talks to her, and when she tries to talk to them they give a one-word response and turn away. And she just keeps going back because she thinks the problem is that she's the "new girl". Even though there have been three newer girls than her who are already in the in-group.

Some of these women are so used to marginalisation and mistreatment, that when it happens again and again they consider it the natural course of events. It's their own fault, some unique character flaw that they alone have. And they're so isolated and desperate for community that they will put up with any amount of abuse from other queers.

Sometimes it's only after seeing it happen several times to *other* transfems, and never any other kind of queer person even if they do exactly the same things, that they realise that a pattern exists, and there is a name for that pattern, and all there's a whole world of transfeminist writing for them to dive into with newly-opened eyes.

[berryautistic]

yeah sure you're not ableist... but are you cool with visible medical devices?

are you gonna be weird about feeding tubes? are you gonna ask invasive questions about catheters and ostomy bags? can you cope with seeing someone give themselves an injection? could you walk up to someone with a tracheostomy and talk to them? how about someone with a central line?

does your disability acceptance extend to people with visible medical devices?

[berryautistic]

please don't harass this person but lots of responses like this, lots like this specifically about the injection part. and here's what i have to say about it:

being squeamish is not the same as having a medical need. being uncomfortable is not the same as having a medical need. and furthermore, being uncomfortable or squeamish is not the same as having a phobia.

in the nicest way possible... if other people's medical needs make you squeamish or uncomfortable, that's something that you need to learn to cope with. this post is asking you to do one thing: be normal to people with medical devices/needs. and yeah if you can't be normal to someone with a medical device that makes you a little uncomfortable, that is something that you need to work on.

and the way to do that, as some other people have pointed out under this post, is exposure. the solution to being squeamish or uncomfortable around medical devices is not to avoid people with medical devices/needs or treat them differently, it's actually to be exposed to them more.

and that's not always easy, some medical devices are not common to see in public, but like... do some research? google is cool? look at some pictures? wikipedia is awesome? there are large communities of people with these medical devices educating about them on various social media platforms?

phobias are different. phobias are a type of anxiety disorder. they're not uncommon, but they are generally considered to be highly treatable! if you have a genuine phobia of needles or some other medical device, that's a different situation than being squeamish or uncomfortable. but it's still a situation that needs to be managed without mistreating other people with those medical devices.

it's okay to feel uncomfortable without it being a phobia. uncomfortable is not a life threatening experience. delaying a medically necessary injection could be. when i said can you cope with seeing an injection, that was intentional phrasing. you can be uncomfortable, but can you cope with that discomfort?

we're not asking you to do anything ridiculous. just be normal about medical devices. be normal when you meet people with medical devices. we're sick of being treated like we're contagious!!

(disclaimer: some of this might not be phrased well. i've been trying to formulate this post for hours, and have been thinking about it for days. i'm tired of myself and my disabled friends with visible medical devices/needs being treated this way.)

[puddlegirlie]

Overall seems to be along the right lines - though as an AuDHD person whose autism is squeamish at physical medical things (especially drains, tracheotomies, stoma/colostomy bags as well as gory surgery stuff/gory injuries etc) - I have done hypnotherapy to make myself less squeamish about 20 years ago. I have followed that with self-led exposure therapy via factual medical shows etc. Before any of this I used to faint at grazing my knee. I spent a good chunk of my childhood feeling faint, passed out from fainting or recovering from fainting. It is also why I have my chronic pain from passing out standing up and landing back first on a tiled floor. I am *never* going to be able to have a part of my personal life where I deliberately interact with people with such physical medical situations and circumstances that still freak me out and put me at risk of fainting. As always I will treat them like human beings as I do with every person I meet - but expecting me to achieve what is not at all possible when I have already improved things on my end as much as I can is not feasible. I am not making any claims or accusations against anyone here- I am merely setting a boundary and saying that people being perfect or infallible in every aspect even/especially with things beyond their control is not fair or on; and that is why I loathe purity culture. I have helped myself get faint less often - which by proxy has improved my ability to interact with those who have physical medical circumstances that'd previously have set me off. My point is - for all the work that can be done here: i have done it, and that it has only achieved x amount. I have to take what I can get eith it - like everyone does with things in life. Hence the purity culture bs being a ton of bollocks

[septemberequinox]

casual survey: reblog if you want to kiss a girl right now

[sailatina3]

I really dont wanna get a joooob i should be living with some beautiful woman and getting babied 24/7 not whatever this is