this blog is on a temporary hiatus; please send a message on here or aim if you'd like to roleplay with me on my private accounts. :>

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@puncturist
this blog is on a temporary hiatus; please send a message on here or aim if you'd like to roleplay with me on my private accounts. :>
i’ve been taking a short, unannounced hiatus, and i’m currently on a semi-hiatus since i will be moving abroad in a week’s time. sorry for the wait! my agenda is currently the following:
messaging people who roleplayed with me via aim as i’ve moved to an ooc aim.
replying to the plotting messages in my inbox.
doing some replies.
then headcanon memes.
more replies.
that is all. hopefully will get to them soon, when i stop being a lazy bum. :> have a nice day or evening!
Hearts are wild creatures, that’s why our ribs are cages.
Unknown
[ sms to: my poby ] “I will touch you with my mind. Touch you and touch and touch until you give me suddenly a smile, shyly obscene; I will touch you with my mind. Touch you, that is all, lightly and you utterly will become with infinite care the poem which I did not write.” [ sms to: my poby ] heh... sehun is back with another 'do not reply'. i'm at work... i miss you, even though i know we'll see each other in a few hours.
「 message to — idiot 」 well, sucks to be you i’m replying.「 message to — idiot 」 you don’t get to tell me what to do.
watches you from dash for a month wishing i had the courage to just approach you about plotting--
This makes me sad because in reality I’d love to plot with you and you never approach me so JUST COME TO ME PLEASE I SWEAR I’LL LOVE YOU DOWN. YES YES YOU HAVE THE COURAGE infuses some into you yes do it! Waits for you. <3
jabbathehun:
Lips pursing, he narrows his gaze, seconds away from emitting a sarcastic ‘ha ha’… That is, before his playfulness gets a hold and prompts him to stick out his chest invitingly while he jokes– “Be gentle; the girls are feeling sensitive today.”
[ ` their senses of humor don’t merge. it’s not a secret. not a question. at the end of the day, it’s just another one of their differences, packed in the box with a million of others. he squints at Sehun’s quip, eyeing the chest pushed forward, hand reaching out. but it’s not for the chest. rather, it lands on the stomach, pinching. ] This is what I meant by ‘boob’.
krisanthemvm:
“The great thing about this friendship, is that I can sit here and sleep and you won’t even make enough noise to wake me.” He settles in, his neck pillow in just the right position. “Yes, this is brilliant. Keep on keeping on.”
[ ` the deluge of silence sinks in. there’s no absolute silence offered by the cityscape, but he can live with this; with the distant sound of the skyline, the humming sighs of car engines, the succulent dreams of the sleepers. next to him: a man. not quite a stranger. not quite a friend. or maybe he is; Baekhyun hesitates. the silence drowns in the mention of friendship, so it must be it. he listens, waiting for the sentences to end. he spares the man a look after. a second, two. he returns it to the emptied horizon, where the night glows a shade lighter along the rim. ] Mm. Should I begin singing then? I’m known to have a very... wonderful voice.
lineup,
10 ; 06 ; 15 // please let me know if i missed or misplaced anyone as i’m very forgetful. ;; i’m not planning to drop any thread but i’m just slow, so please bear with me. if you’d like to drop, though, please do let me know! c: strikethrough indicates that i’m unsure if the person is still active. please note that i do my threads on tumblr based on the muse, so it’s by no means sorted. sorry for the wait! i’m not listing the ones i’m plotting with, but please feel free to poke me if we’re supposed to be plotting but aren’t. i’m also open for plotting & threading. please inquire aim username if you’d like to plot, script, or simply chat. :D
* WRITING –
1konic, autotelics, dlvby, exigitxevum, expletvs, griefdreamer, ipsxity, iso2108, jabbathehun [ x4 ], krisanthemvm, migvng, rosxyblue, sooncerely, strctvre, theoutsidcr, thvrn – & some headcanon asks!
* WAITING –
confictvra, consilian, danielium, madeintokyo, phvinx, ssaecularis, sseui, thvrn, yifan-ia, yjaeng
* SCRIPTING –
1konic, asterises, drearncatcher, epidermix, jabbathehun, jongivora, kyokih, lxtent, ovrdsed, ovxerdose, ssaecularis, svndicxte – & some aim users [ jongjin, sojin ].
[ sms to: my poby ] don't reply to these texts ok? [ sms to: my poby ] i know i'm not good with words [ sms to: my poby ] i feel sorry that i can never explain the depth of my feelings for u... [ sms to: my poby ] so i am working on it and in the meantime i want to share things that feel like they were written by me to u but weren't [ sms to: my poby ] "(i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens;only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)"
[ messages unanswered ]
* inserts a nice friendship quote here because i couldn’t think of one* ; but ah, well, it’s come to this part of internet, eventually, and it’s kind of been overdue as i’ve been here for roughly three years and almost a half. i’ve been thinking of doing this for a while because i’ve been more of a downer lately than not, and i need to remind myself every now and then that i’m loved by these people whom i cherish so much. this is to appreciate the internet friends i’ve made (and managed to keep, given that i know i’m not the easiest to deal with and it’s been a rough patch, this past year). i really, really, truly appreciate every one of you who still stays and sticks with me through thick and thin, but the list of people are the ones that i feel are the closest to me. it doesn’t mean that i don’t cherish you when you’re not mentioned here; i just feel that maybe we’re still on our way of getting to know each other, and i appreciate you so much as well, so thank you for being my friends and i hope we can be closer in time! :> anyway, without further ado... happy best friends’ day 2015 and i love you. <3
LIAN ( also known as jungmd whose account has been fossilized )
hoho, where do i start with you apart from how we met? i saw you frolicking on the ooc blog of oh this is war around april 2012 i think, and my first impression of you was wowowow this person is really outgoing omg she writes really well too! (tracey is still that kind slytherin who tried being bitchy but ended up befriending anyone anyway, and i will forever remember you by that gif of leighton eating cherry tomato and scratching her cheek) and you managed to be the only friend of my first roleplaying days (like yes, yes, you’re the first, it’s been three years) who is still with me until this point, even when we went through so many rough patches together. i still remember us being together with sarah, and we made our very first roleplay together. all those short biographies and simple graphics and themes, wow. it lasted for months and it was great. the plot progression was amazing (and i killed my first baby for it too heh, and never played nina dobrev again after that i think--and remember agstin our babies?). then we had more roleplays together after that... and then we started venturing to krp almost at the same time too. me with shinee babies (before sehun strutted in and ruined everything, unless you count that clumsy jongin i made for our private rp with kim) and you, forever with your daehyun. (also, remember our ship, the cocksucking lips ship with awks jongin and your 1.93m daehyun? lmao.) like you were almost always there for me until you stopped roleplaying, and we just stuck with each other everywhere. you were in every roleplay i was in and vice versa. and i hope that even now that we both are busy (and you have that person who keeps singing me noona neomu yeppeo since last year heh), we’ll get to write together again someday. no one has seen my growth as both a person and writer as much as you do, and i’m truly grateful for you holding me when i was the saddest, and i hope you’ll let me be there for you more, as much as you do for me. thank you, and i love you lots lots and lots.
KIMMEG ( with that writing account which has a grumpy cat icon )
punches your booties gently and i will someday do this when we meet muahahaha. kidding. or maybe not. but as i’m writing this, you haven’t seen my kkt message about me being accepted into the uni. but yes, we’ll be in the same country shortly, and you can’t escape me. :3 but oooo where do i start with you... maybe matt bomer. i remember you auditioning for our alpha and ended up getting our beta and you made a really great one (mmmm chris evans yeah), and it’s been two years and a half since we met in lafayette woods. you’ve always been someone so neutral and calm and intelligent (and always studying, but it seems that you struggled more in poly than you are now so i hope you’re getting less stress!), and someone i can count on. you and lian just... have always been there no matter what i’ve gone through, no matter how shitty i’ve been. it’s been amazing to know you two. you’ve been a really enjoyable writing partner too, and we kept jumping from ship to ship and i think we had so many homosexual r/s lmao. and like lian, we were in so many roleplays together and i really appreciate how much you would follow me (us) around in roleplays even when you knew you were too busy and distracted for it. i really hope that we can get to write together again one day, even when we’re both turtles. heh. i really enjoy being your friend, and as we meet more frequently starting from next month, i hope you won’t hate me for being clingy in real life too. ; u ; thank you for always being someone so helpful as well! please pat yuki and say hi to papa goh for me, and i love you smooches a lot! looking forward to hanging out with you at changi tbh. <33
MEGAN ( or jagiya, sometimes... looks off you have to beg for my love )
hello anon admin of gossip girl seoul. :> it started in september 2013, didn’t it? and i don’t even remember how i began talking to you, but i think it was on aim. i really thought naeun was the admin okay... anyway. i still remember struggling as i tried getting jongin in the rp just to have the reservation extended twice but then the person never applied! what. a. disaster. but i never really regret it being sehun heh. he’s one of the muses i still cherish lots and lots, and i miss him sometimes. maybe for now i can’t play him too well anymore because what is crack i’ve lost my touch on crack. but please always remember bird-faced sehun with his twin seunghwa and his pretense to be poor and most importantly, his nokia 3650. and his girl group dances. as the rp progressed i was gonna make him get scouted by sm entertainment... but jagiya, you’re the person i met in krp who have stuck with me the longest. and even then, i’m still learning about you. i don’t think i’ve known too much about you but i’m glad that you started opening up, trusting me that much with something so big in your life. you and jack have always been there to listen to me when i rant about things left and right. i was like, why do these two never share anything. lmao. it felt like i was the only one with problems while you two have such smooth, sailing lives. but maybe that’s not the case. we just face different things differently. and ooo... i forgot one thing but you’re always the kind of admin i look up to. like you truly care about your members, sending them messages. it’s admirable how you tried reaching out for them. and how you wrote the gossip thing... yes, that thing with sooyeon and laxatives and toilet bowl. amazing. you write well okay! and i hope all the best for your studies esp when you come to taiwan for a semester, i hope you will cope well. i hope one day we’ll all meet, with jack too. :> thank you for sending me the package now i have this odd looking shitake doll looking at me. and the book i wanted! cries. thank you lots and lots for being such a caring friend. i love you so much. (and you better screencap and frame this because i’m not saying this another time.)
JACK ( well, how do i say this... i sometimes still forget how to spell your full name )
hehe my future pharmacist, i hope you’re studying well for the rest of your exams! cleanses the dust in your head so that you can memorize all these theories about drugs... but hi yes i managed to forget where we met omg i’m sorry, but i’ve always had a small memory capacity, so... looks off. but i remember you and your unique character ideas okay, and they’re all amazing so you should definitely roleplay more when you have time. but yes! we met in the first krp i ran, and i don’t really think we were close back then but we grew gradually so as we started talking via line more. i don’t remember the details, but suddenly, bam, you’re someone whom i run to whenever, and you’re almost always there (although we all reply to group chat to like, once a day lmao) and listen to me and give me all these amazing words to hold onto. you and megan are so full of positivity that i always don’t know how to channel, and you two always give me words that i need whenever i need them. i’m just so lucky to have friends like you, who don’t mind me when i’m being difficult, who are always understanding when i’m at my hardest time. it hasn’t been an easy year, but you all make it easier for me, and i’m truly grateful. i won’t be here without your endless support, without you wanting to listen to me ranting about all these silly krp and irl problems. it just really means a lot, all these months that we’ve been together, and i’ve seen how much you put efforts into school so i hope one day you’ll get to become someone exquisite in your field! i haven’t said this enough but i love you, lots and lots, and sometimes i just want to go and smother all of you but distance sucks. :<
QIN ( madeintokyo aka yaoichi ; wife, my only wife, but with soggy booty i want a divorce )
oop, we’ve come to this, from sending messages on tumblr last year when i was still on jongin. it’s been months, but it feels like i’ve known you for years, although sometimes i think i don’t know you that well. you’re someone unique, someone i haven’t really encountered before, and the more i get to know you the more i’m intrigued as to how it is to live in your shoes. (i mean, seeing that you sell drugs for a living... :u ) but ooo wife, you haven’t always been a wife for me. before everything started you were someone else’s wife... *throws a total shade into the room it grows dark* alas, it doesn’t matter now since we’re free from the wild wild west and here we are, being wives with soggy booty and saggy pink tits. all these baeboonista things! you’re just someone whose company i enjoy a lot since you have all these jokes and you’re extremely funny and i find it hard to believe when you say that people ignore you because how could they? you’re someone truly nice and caring, also funny. i know i’ve been a difficult person lately with this rollercoaster of emotions and also my insecurities, but you’re always there for me even when i tried pushing you away, and you keep being you. i would also like to be that someone for you, not only when you’re feeling okay but also when you’re down. :> but ahh, all these statuses we’ve made for each other mean a lot to me, and you following my demands is also something i appreciate lots since i can be clingy. i really wish i could save you from some people sometimes because you’re just too kind for your own good, but heh, it’s just who you are so in the end i can only hope that these people won’t hurt you in the end. puts you in the baboon bag and throws you into the river so that you’re free from harm tbh... :n but anyway, baeboonistayaoimaster, i love and cherish you so much, you have no idea. i thought i lost you when i grew apart from this person but you came back and so we’re meant to be and so we’re stuck together. :> till death do us part despite the 32399230032 divorces that we have and will file to each other. <3
MARIE ( ssaecularis & pntheracantus ; anus to my butt, the one and only )
didn’t we properly meet like two months ago or less (unless you count us following each other on soo and jongin without talking--sobs--without knowing they were some kinda star-crossed lovers)? and it feels like we’ve known each other forever. you’ve always made it so easy for me to open up, and you do that in return too so that you never feel like a stranger for me. like, ugh, i don’t remember how we ended up exchanging kkt when we started off on aim, and i’m grateful because now you’ve left your aim to death... tbh... :u eeeeeey, anyway, you’re someone whom i’ve been talking to most these days, and you’re always there for me even when i’ve been nothing but difficult. you keep reassuring me on how important i am for you, and just, how? like how lucky am i to have met someone like you and got such a special part in your life, when you said you barely made any friends? it’s such a joy to be with someone like you, someone who is so receptive and patient, someone who deals with all my ups and downs. you hold me through all the tough times, and we make all these inside jokes when everything is fine. it is simply bliss for me to have known you and i cherish you so much, and i really hope i won’t mess up so that this can last for years and years to come. you’re also someone that i admire in terms of creative ideas, where you keep spewing all these ideas (but never actually write them so my assassin!kaisoo fic please don’t forget) and our muses merge so well sometimes i want to lick your characters omg. all these ships with baeksoo and kaisoo and kaibaek are just amazing, you never cease to amaze me. and you follow along with my ridiculous au ideas too lmao--like not everyone would be able to do that and i just... don’t know how to express how awed i am that finally i’ve met a partner like you. we have so many things going on at once and i think i’m still owing you all these replies... yeah. five threads at once. no wonder we’re losing the replies easily lmao. but yes cracks knuckles i promised you the replies so... but yes, eeeeey butt loves anus forever okay. lots and lots and lots. inserts a baby carrot into you. ^ u ^
NICOLE ( jabbathehun ; aka peejs, the kiwi to my kiwo, the qtpie with starry eyes )
we officially met in 2013, although we didn’t realize that we did until recently... ah well. but fate decided that we had to meet again, so here we are heh. minah to my sehun and sehun to my baek. :> and like baek to sehun... i will eventually be a tsun to you so relish these days where i still feed you with love mehehehe. but aye baby, i don’t really remember how we started talking via kkt tbh. i just remember us meeting again before you went on your hiatus before this and i was still jongin and i decided to reply to that random text that sehun spewed about yoda costume... i still remember jongin tried threatening sehun that he would skin sehun heh. i certainly didn’t foresee the day where sehun would be a significant other to my character, especially when baek is so tsun and he keeps hurting sehun omg. when you said you shipped them i was like... are you ready for this???? cries. but your characters have always been such a comic relief, and i always adore how you manage to create such an intricate character when they’re being a normal human while i always rely on supernatural/fantasy elements. but their differences actually make the ship fun and everything so i really enjoy writing it with you, although we’re really slow and barely finishing any of our threads lmao. but ah, my kiwi, you’re such a great company to be with. you know all these things and understand what i’ve been through, and you cater to my insecurities even when they’re annoying, so thank you for being with me and talking to me even when it’s really late at night for you (or even morning!) and i’m just really glad that i know we’ve managed to grow closer in such a short span of time. time doesn’t measure friendship, yes, and you mean so much to me. i really love you and hope one day i’ll get to visit nz with all its lotr glory! :> huggles lots let’s be there for each other more and always!
below would be the list of people that i cherish so much these days, even when we’re not exactly best friends. i feel that we’re close friends even when we don’t talk lots, if not friends who have known each other for quite some time, and i thank you for your presence in my life. i hope that we can grow even closer too along the time!
ROMA ( what account to tag i don’t know your account anymore goodbye ; but sebaek luv 5eva )
uuuugh @ u because it’s been a while since we last talked and i miss you. you’re no longer on aim anymore these days and i’m only on skype once a year, so weeps a lot. but aheh, we’ve known each other for a while now and i don’t quite remember which rp we met in precisely but you’ve always been there for me despite the rough patches we went through. you’re such a cute friend and you always come up with these cute ideas and you draw cute things too (please draw me something sometimes :> like sebaek maybe!). it’s always been a joy to fangirl with you over these ships heh. i’m always grateful that you regard me as your inspiration, it’s always an honor to be thought of as such. ;; i hope we will get to talk more again soon!
J ( kaicide or peecide ; you loser better write with me ihu :u )
wowowowow i really hate your guts for always being a dick to me, like i’ve asked you to write with me all these times and you keep! finding! excuses! not to, although i promised i would write you a starter this time. where is the you i used to know? sobs hard. you used to be a nicer person how dare you! i miss our friendship last year where we would write together and create rp together ugh you such a loser. >:c but anyway, heh, i’m glad that you started opening up to me. a bit, maybe? you always care about me and try guarding my feelings. and you told me that you wanted me to like you so you weren’t being thirsty at me, but brah, come at me with all your pak chonyal thirsting!!! pats head i hope we will talk more in the future and eventually... write...
LISA ( sarmisael or... don’t know, really, you change your account more often than me changing bras )
you’re like, one of my oldest krp friends, and we met with bora and jongin before we eventually became bora and kyungsoo... all those amazing plot. i still wrote you my longest starter ever... that 2.4k words. we started talking before all this mess and i suppose we drifted apart for a while but you somehow always managed to find me again and i’m grateful, because even when we have our differences in views, you always care about me and check if i’m all right, and that truly means a lot. you’ve been holding me through some problems i’ve encountered, and i really appreciate it. i hope you will keep surrounding yourself with better people, and i admire you for being able to discard those who are no longer doing your life any good. i can go through this, yes, like you said. :>
SEOL ( hvacinth although the account is no longer active ; v ; )
the sonjun to my suhun. <3 it’s been a while since we started knowing each other too, and i remember approaching your sungjoon and asking if you’d mind him being sehun’s crush. it was quite a memorable ship for me and it’s always been enjoyable to ship something with you. you’re honestly someone i admire so much since you’re really mature and accomplished, and i aspire to overcome my rough patches and think more maturely as well. i hope that we can get to write together again someday, although you’ve been really busy to rp. ; u ; it’s always nice to listen to stories about your life tbh since you’re always active and involved in all these things. i hope we can talk and share more even when life gets busier for us later!
CARLY ( forever taemin with a flower crown heh )
ahhh, carly, i know that we don’t talk much since we’ve never been in the same rp again, but it always amazes me how you keep remembering me. ;; you including me in that voice meme thing is just something i truly appreciate since i never thought someone i didn’t talk to lots would remember me, but you did. and it’s always nice when you keep talking to me and helping me even when we barely converse anymore. thank you for being such a great friend, and i hope that we can talk more. ; v ;
finally, this is a mention corner where i would like to thank people i’ve been talking to more as of late. i hope we can cultivate friendships and eventually become close as well. i really appreciate each and everyone of you for dealing with my difficult self and also being there to talk to me at all. it really means a lot. ;;
cleoptara // congelesfleur // consilian // dmnlv // dweebpool // griefdreamer // maddie // mvlfic // rvlapse // phvinx // starkhun
Impossible Creature - manifest 2, by J.D Doria, 2013
the world will end in stardust. it’s the only way for us to go – a civilization built on constellations, our hands always reaching, grasping for the next star, the brightest star. look at the greeks, their stories etched in pinpricks of gold. look at us now, our pictures of galaxies a million miles away. we are children of lost gods. nothing kills them quite as well as being forgotten. and so the world will end with bleeding gods. ichor flows as gold as stars.
forget fire and ice | m.j.
exitivm:
“And your fucking problem is?” Baekhyun was the last person Sehun wanted to see or to deal with. Their relationship wasn’t that good and the elder, he didn’t mind being rude to his ‘friend’, no, for him, it didn’t matter. If someone caught him in one of his bad moods, they’d get whatever they’d get.
The person didn’t matter, it never did.
There’s a cigarette hanging between his thin pair of lips, the smoke didn’t bother him but his friend didn’t seem much into it. Quit smoking, they’d tell him over and over but if he quitted smoking, if he quitted drinking, what would make his pain go away, what would make the demons stay quiet for a while? Nothing could soothe the pain more than the things that killed one, his lungs were already damaged.. then again, wasn’t he a fairy? Didn’t it mean that that stupid body of his could resist many things? He snorted, blowing some smoke right into the male’s face with a small smile.
It wasn’t easy to pass page, Baekhyun should know it himself. And you’d ask, how did Sehun know that the younger hid some secret, that he hid his deepest fears and acted like that, like someone without a heart? Because he knew, he knew people rather well, he knew when someone was damaged.. perhaps it was his instinct, or he was too used to people lying and hiding things from him, it didn’t matter, he didn’t care.
Finishing off the cigarette, he motioned towards the door, it wasn’t needed to explain or to give the latter a reason to leave.. or was it? “I don’t want to see anyone and certainly, my friend, your company isn’t the best one around here so if you’d be nice enough..” He’s been hurt many times, telling someone to leave him alone wasn’t a big deal. Sehun needed time, space and air; he needed to be away from people, to recharge. People exhausted him.
There’s a definition scribbled on the back of his hand. Invisible, waning.
Today’s definition: a friend’s fool.
He doesn’t want to live by it, but the ink seeps under his skin, into his veins. On good days it’s a scar rupturing the seams, on better days it’s a bruise purpling the blood. This is one of the best days, where it’s a burn clambering towards his heartbeat.
It’s a series of one, two, three. The beating hides in his ribcage, the heart speaks in whispers. It is quiet. He likes it quiet.
His mouth is in the color of wisps, of smoked words. He said that, and then the room falls into the staccato of silence. The temptation to close his eyes rims his thoughts—he wants to mull them over, those sinful words. Who is he to judge when some days his definition lies close to the said words?
He stitches his lips in defeat. The suture tastes like a sigh. He doesn’t voice it.
Sehun’s voice is distant. His tone is deafening. It is an emphasis to the last syllable written. There is no pride in hanging his head low for the man who would yank him downward by the neck.
Maybe living with a fool has made him into one.
There is a stutter in the lapse. He doesn’t answer, so Sehun spills another lungful of cigarette stains before marking the polluted air with jagged words.
They splinter. The next thing that comes out of his throat is shards. Laugher that cuts.
He hasn’t laughed like that for weeks, maybe months. It’s liberating.
Friend. But is he?
There’s acid sloshing among his corroding teeth. He swallows it whole so that it dilutes his blood. Today’s definition: null. It unwinds itself and loosens its hold; junctures of syllables no longer scribed in parasitic mode.
He clacks his tongue against the palate of his mouth. “Right. Have a great day, then.” His footfalls are soundless so that he can only hear the residue of Sehun’s carcinogenic dreams, dancing in the silt of the room.
dear baekhyun,
✖; 「Send me one “Dear—” and I’ll write a letter to this person.」
Have you ever sat down on the edge of your bed and wished things were different, that you were different? When I look at you.. I see myself, I don’t know why, neither can I really explain it well but I see myself back when I was seventeen or so, though I was worse.
Back then, I was a rebel, I was cold towards everyone and hurt a lot of people with that.. I wonder, if I were to be like this now, would anyone even be around me? Whenever I’m not in the mood for anything and I know I’d snap at someone, I do my best to put on a smile and act as normal as always– funny, isn’t it? You seem to be one of few that can see through me and.. I wonder how.
I wonder a lot of things about you. I wonder why you’re like this, why are you so cold towards everyone– as stupid as it might sound, I do want you to be my friend.. and I consider you my friend, you take my stupidty rather well which impresses me. I know I mess with you a lot, or try to, but.. I can be serious, too. I can be that person you.. could lean on, yeah.. your boyfriend is important and perhaps, other of your friends are better than I but trust me, I could and I’d love.. I’d love having someone lean on me. Everyone seems to look at me as if I were porcelain, as if I needed protection and I hate it. I want someone to depend on me, too, I don’t want to be left out so.. I figured.. I figured that I could perhaps be your friend.. that one friend you go to when something good happened, just like when something bad did, too.
You’re cold and mean but I know you’re not like that, I’ve taken therapy for years and these little things, my bitchy behavior, my mean one, they’ve been thrown at my face, all the reasons behind it and I couldn’t do anything but accept it, accept that I tried hiding behind a cold mask, accept that I was hating everyone because of only one person. I had to accept a lot of things and I had to change. You’re still young, Baekhyun, and well, perhaps you’ll burn this letter after reading it– or you won’t even read it at all but.. I care and I know you have things on your heart, things that are heavy but you won’t talk about them except with maybe, one or two people in your life.. and I accept it, I understand that because you can’t trust everyone but.. neither is everyone going to fuck you up.
Everyone’s different and some do have kind intentions, they’re… good people. I consider myself good, or a part of me that’s left. There’s not much good left in the world anymore, huh.
You’re still a young man and you barely started living, so don’t throw it all away, all the opportunities.. and the happiness you’ll have at one point. All good things come.. eventually, yeah? So hang in there. Eat healthy, try being a better person not for others but yourself, try to.. grow up, grow up and be a good, young man and make these around you proud to call you their friend, yeah? You, just like everyone else, deserve to be happy and have everything you want and need. And please, give Oh Sehun a chance. I know I’m not much nor amazing but.. I want your friendship.
puncturist
« Has no one ever taught you that following someone in the middle of the night is a terrible idea? »
[ ` it is night. he is drowning. in his thoughts, in the stranger’s silhouette. sometimes he thought he had seen enough. sometimes he thinks he needs to see more. the stranger is a husk of question marks. he is that knife that tries to undo the seam of the skin, to spill the questions in hopes for the answers to surface. stares holes as he tails after the stranger. ] ... [ ` the crowd grows sparse. he doesn’t hide; the stranger knows. when he turns around to pose the question—one that strays from the ones pocketed in the hollow of his flesh and bones--Baekhyun stares back. ] Probably, seeing what you’ve shown me, whatever it is that you have.
sseui:
“How many times do I have to tell you to take care of yourself? What if I’m not here anymore?” she has that complex, of taking care of people, and with the younger being one of her closest friends, she couldn’t help it. She speaks while rummaging through her backpack, trying to get the small pack of tissue she bought from a store a few minutes prior to their meeting, handing the pack at him. “Are you alright, do you feel dizzy? Did you take some medicines already, Baekhyun?”
[ ` questions. a series of them. he rubs at the nape of his neck as he listens, mind housing silent answers. she probably knows why. he’s almost always weary. sleep does not put his mind to rest, his body responding to the stifled pleas wrought by the ironed dreams turned into static nightmares. sleep does not put his body to rest. ] ... [ ` he takes the pack of tissue from her, murmuring an expression of gratitude under his breath before wiping his nose. ] I’m okay, noona. Don’t worry about me. Might need more of your tissue, though. Let’s... I don’t know, grab some food sometime this week. My treat since you’ve always been such a good noona.