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dumbest-slut

Reblog this if I can degrade myself in your inbox

Can be a picture, a fantasy, or something else. You can share it if you like.

Sorry. 'bout what a fuck I've been. Hope you're feeling great though, you deserve that. You always did.

who tf is this?

stunnerpone-deactivated20210116

ottermericana

all-my-messy-thoughts-deactivat

she chews on her pencil when she’s thinking and i love her so effortlessly it’s like i can’t remember not loving her, like i was in a waiting room until i met her, like our hands are shivering and our fingers are touching and i love her when she tells me that if she only had one day to live she’d want to spend it eating pasta.

she calls me one morning with her voice wobbling and we lie next to each other with our fingers tangling. we tell each other secrets and watch them hover in smoke rings, find shapes in them like clouds, say this one’s an elephant and that one’s a puppy and this one’s the quiet of forgiving. this is the two of us always touching, this is the steady heartbeat, settled breathing, comfortable kind of love. clean laundry kind of love. i come to her with blood on my knuckles and she holds my hand anyway. that kind of love.

she holds her breath when she paints her fingernails and i love her effortless, i love her breathless, i love her when she tries to parallel park and curses her way through it and i realize holy shit, i was put on this earth just to look at her.

i love her like i am a wanderer and she is my compass, like drowning and she’s a breath of air, like peanut butter and jelly, like lock and key, like there aren’t enough words to write with because they’re all just starting to look like her name rewritten. i tell her she’s my galaxy and stardust and soulmate and i say sorry because there are no new words, they’ve all been used before, but she says it’s okay because i make them sound new just by saying them in a different way.

her hair is wet against my shoulder and she twines her legs between mine and asks me what i think would happen if love just ended one day. there’s an eyelash on her cheek and mac and cheese on her chin and i tell her if love ended, we’d be the last ones standing.

and i want her. i want her like pajamas at the end of a long day, like plastic forks and paper plates, like i’ll feed the cat if you do the laundry. like we’re planning our wedding between the tampons and the toilet paper when she tells me she wants a honeymoon in hawaii and for us to do the dishes together every night.

r.c.c

spider-hands-mannos-deactivated

PETA

you guys remember when PETA stole people pets off their porches and euthanized them?

you guys remember how it came out that PETA kills about 90% of the animals it takes in, including healthy and adoptable puppies and kittens, stating “ We could become a no-kill shelter immediately. It means we wouldn’t do as much work”?

you guys remember when PETA advocated killing all pit bulls for the crime of being pit bulls?

you guys remember when PETA handed out these comics to children when there were no adults looking?

you guys remember when they made a porn site and then filled it with videos of animal abuse, and (also in that link) claimed cats should be vegetarian?

you guys remember when PETA lied about sheep shearing, got caught, and defended the lie as true even after they admitted the sheep in their picture wasn’t even real?

you guys remember when they tried to excuse their horrifying ways by claiming that the person who exposed them was manipulating the facts by taking them and putting them in the wrong context?

Because I remember. I remember everything.

And I’m gonna make sure everyone else remembers too.

ourladyofpainourladyofdreams-de

Why would they kill pit bulls they’re sweeties

spider-hands-mannos-deactivated

Because PETA does not care about animals. they do not care that these dogs live and breathe and feel and want love like every other dog. they do not care about the history of human/dog bonding and co-evolution, they do not care that dogs and human beings have relied on each other for millennia, they do not care that its cruel and morally repugnant to put down an animal just because you can, they do not care about animals.

PETA cares about money and publicity, its a corporation run by a psychopath who is afraid of pitts as it states in the link: she was apparently bit by one, and now she hates them.

PETA doesn’t give a rats ass about animals. They just want to kill and make money off of idiots who fall of their spiel.

ourladyofpainourladyofdreams-de

Some celebs support them

i-n-m-h

ah c’mon, dear-tumb1r, I think you’re being a bit harsh. I mean, okay, PETA’s done some questionable things, but it’s not like they’ve also

-spread false information about milk causing autism based on outdated bullshit information

-used holocaust imagery to compare the meat industry to concentration camps (no pictures)

-used a young man’s brutal death as a way to say “yeah that’s awful but it happens to animals every day and nobody cares about that” (tw: no pictures but the way the guy died is described and it is really horrible)

-dressed up in KKK robes and protested outside of the Westminister Dog Show to protest breeding/pure bred dogs (tw: racism)

-offered to pay the water bill for literally the poorest neighborhood in Detroit if and only if they all went vegan for a month (tw: self-righteous shitheads)

-and they definitely didn’t have two of their workers accept perfectly healthy animals from an animal hospital, with the implication that they would give them good homes, clarify that these animals were all healthy and well-tempered, and then euthanized them all in the back of a kill-van before dumping their dead bodies behind a grocery store (tw: PICTURES OF DEAD ANIMALS, animal death)

-and they totally didn’t get off pretty much scot-free for it because PETA has loads of money and lawyers to defend themselves, which coincidentally might be why the Cerate family hasn’t seen justice for their kidnapped and murdered dog, Maya. (tw: animal death)

Nah. PETA’s not that bad.

(/the heaviest of all my fucking sarcasm, I am salty as a fucking winter road, lord do I fucking hate PETA)

spider-hands-mannos-deactivated

Did you think i was fucking joking, PETA?

I will make sure everyone fucking remembers what you’ve done.

spider-hands-mannos-deactivated

Bringing it back, because it’s charity season and people need to know NOT to give charity to these fuckers.

killtheteendream

i can still quote fran’s response word for word

kohl-yis

she

she just

she just did that

cybergata

whitegirlsaintshit

i the snail.

omgs

everybody here is perfect

mamaduafe

I have never seen a happier snail omg

eelpatrickharris-deactivated202

anyone else have one of those Formative Omegle Experiences that’s stuck with you

eelpatrickharris-deactivated202

i remember once matching up with this 27 year old mechanic. he found the omegle page open on one the shop’s computers, and he wanted to see what his coworker was up to. we matched up because of our listed “manga” interests.

he asked how old i was, and i lied and said i was 16. as a conversation starter, he asked if i had my license yet, and because i was 12, i said no.

so he starts giving me driving tips. get a junker as your first, because when you finally get a new car, you’ll be able to appreciate it.

stick shift is going out of fashion, and even if you learn how to drive that way and enjoy it, get an automatic. it’ll save your ass on nasty hills and in rush hour traffic.

and most importantly, never hold your hands at 10 and 2. go with 9 and 3. he’d always loved cars, and used to race when he was younger. became pretty well known in the indie circles. one day, he was speeding around the track and just came out of the curve when a girl in the crowd flashed her tits at him.

he was so distracted that he crashed straight into the barrier. due to how he was holding the wheel, he broke both of his arms. he still has a couple lingering issues.

i asked him if it was worth it, and he said yes. he’d do it again if he had the chance. they were the finest tiddies he’d ever seen.

the moral of this story is that, to this day, i grip 9 and 3 when using both hands because wait that’s what tiddy guy said i should do.

HERE HE COMES

HERE HE COMES

HERE HE COMES

HERE HE COMES

HERE HE COMES

HE HAS ARRIVED

I saw some great pigeons the other day

peachtimes-deactivated20160528

these are normal pigeons

pawpile

yes but they’re great

sighinastorm

This is the Goose of Outrageous Self Assuredness. Take from her example, her ludicrous and excellent poise in the face of bullying, and be confident in your place, your course, your equal validity.

africanaquarian

I’m always amazed by the amount of fucks geese refuse to give.

fuckyeah-nerdery

This is it, this is everything you need to know about geese in one video.

und3r-developed-deactivated2019

This is big dick energy

enjoloras-deactivated20220821

So when a kid is laying on the floor in a shop screaming u get down to their level n say ohhh noooo darling don't do that pleaaaase that's naughty cmon get up be a good boy or girl. The kids gonna stop n get up lmao. U say if u don't get up right now I'm gonna give ya a whip on the arse..1...2...n I bet they'll get up.

No. You remove your child from the scene (because children are often reacting to overstimulation such as the grocery store is too loud, the room is too bright, there’s people they don’t know around, they’ve been there too long etc) and go somewhere quiet. You then sit with them as they cry, reassuring them that you are present, and once they have stopped crying you offer comfort and ask if they know what it is that they were so upset about. Then you calmly talk to them so they - and you - can understand and fix the problem that was the root of the tantrum.

Bad example;‘Why are you crying?’‘I’m hungry’‘Well we’re going home soon!’

Good example;‘Do you know why you were crying?’‘I’m hungry’ ‘We’re at the grocery store to get food. We only have three more aisles to go. We can count them down together. Then we’ll go home and we can eat.’

Children don’t understand ‘soon’; even for adults, ‘soon’ is a relative term. children understand things like ‘three aisles. Two. One. Now we’re going home!’

Children need communication, understanding and teaching. Not beating, intimidating or belittling.

Get therapy.

pro-gay-deactivated20170112

me: uses my sleeping kitten’s paw to navigate my smartphone

pro-gay-deactivated20170112

he woke up and retrieved his paw

lingrix

you Used him

pro-gay-deactivated20170112

he’s on the bed and he won’t come near me

lingrix

youve betrayed his trust………he Knows

pro-gay-deactivated20170112

good thing i got 13 more of these fluffs

pro-gay-deactivated20170112

second kitten also abandoned me and they both formed a coalition

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their cause is gaining numbers

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this is a revolution

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i tried calling in the cavalry but they overwhelmed us quickly

pro-gay-deactivated20170112

we are….defeated.

zsnes

Bible version: a king lusts after another man’s wife

Veggie Tales version: a king wants another man’s rubber duck

Bible version: threat of genocide

Veggie Tales version: threat of banishment to the island of perpetual tickling

Bible version: since they won’t bow down before an idol, the king has them burned alive

Veggie Tales version: since they won’t bow down before a chocolate bunny, the manager has them burned alive

catsbeaversandducks

“Roger’s favourite game is crushing his feed bucket! Roger is our alpha male kangaroo, he is 10 years old, height 6ft 7, weight 200 pounds and 100% muscle. I raised him from a tiny orphan baby kangaroo.”

Photo/caption by The Kangaroo Sanctuary Alice Springs