✦ sylvie ｡ it/its ｡ welcome to my hellblog
✧ nsft blog ｡ minors DNI
things i will be doing here:
╰ smutposts/possibly art and writing about The Characters
╰ generally talking abt sex and kink (may include discourse, which i will tag)
╰ objectum posting
(there's more that i like but these are the main ones you'll probably see on this blog)
^ what this means is i'll be posting about these mainly in a fictional context, so don't approach me with advances. TALK TO ME ABOUT THE CHARACTERS DOING THESE THOUGH ^u^
another example of me loving boring shit is liking the idea of getting my blood sucked by a vampire but like they give me snacks and take care of me like the same as when you donate blood. and not even in a like over the top romantic vampire way where they give me some big fancy meal and have me sit on a fainting couch or something, just like normal style. or hell even like having them take my blood in a more clinical way and then drink it from a container instead of drinking it directly from me. it's like. it appeals to me because it's kinda stupid and unsexy and funny but at the same time it's like a kind of denial. and there's a kind of tension. you know here they are holding back and approaching this in this very proper friendly way but they're still drinking my blood. and you know, do they also want to just bite me, do they also just wanna get right to it, even if they're not doing that? like how much effort is it taking to suppress that? i don't know. a vampire who's a doctor and they hypnotize you in the like medical hypnosis kinda way where it's just to make it easier to draw your blood. maybe they don't even drink it in front of you. and they make a casual comment about how it smells or how if you relax it'll taste better or whatever and it's like. yea they are going to drink this. they want this thing that's in my body. i like that weird sense of intimacy in a situation that's trying not to be too intimate. you know
we all love rocky giving grace open heart surgery but let’s consider the alternative. what kind of terrible embarrassing painful etc medical conditions might develop if one from a highly social species were alone under enormous amounts of stress for say, nearly 50 years? would that hypothetical condition/s require intervention from someone with opposable thumbs? crack that carapace open baby, grace has got to palpate your internals
middle school is when you first start to realize you’re into some really freaky shit and trying to heavily ignore that you’re into it, being an adult is looking back at the freaky things and going “oh wait, this isn’t so bad if we add a little nuance to it”
it's just really apparent that people think it's okay to want pain but morally abhorrent to want to give it. sorry but the sadist gets to have fun too. it's actually pretty crucial to the process.
Image ID: A screenshot of a tumblr comment that says "yeah, its only abhorrent imo, when the recipient is non consenting, i've" the screenshot cuts off.
I have never really been into vampires. I just didn’t personally see the appeal, despite being a blood freak and monsterfucker. And THEN. Some very wise souls reframed vampirism to me as being about *reliance.* Having an insatiable thirst for something you can only get from people— think about the power that gives people over you. Think about the pseudo-maternal eroticness of latching on and feeding from someone’s body. About being sustained by their life force only.
Imagine for a moment a vampire sub, maybe freshly turned, maybe confused maybe anxious. Imagine a gentle, slightly condescending and manipulative human dom pulling their mouth open, fondling their fangs, inspecting their teeth. Coaxing them forward, holding vampire sub’s mouth to the side of their neck by force even when they shake their head, scared by their own urges, unwilling to hurt or go too far. Imagine the laughter, the “go on sweetheart. don’t tell me you don’t want to.” The ecstasy and blood drunk haze descending on the vampire sub when they finally latch on and start eagerly drinking once the taste hits their tongue. They normally have the strength now to rip the human dom apart, but in this sort of trance state of blood haze they become so pliable. So easy to pull their legs apart, to fuck. To hush them and draw them back to the blood when they try to break away. Do you see the vision
Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again
Sub red flags: a checklist for less experienced Doms
Awhile ago, I wrote the above post explaining several red flags and warning signs in Doms for less experienced submissives to be aware of. This is the inverse. Written mostly for inexperienced Doms who are seeking subs, from the perspective of an experienced Dom. I would recommend less experienced subs read as well. My hope is that this post is a resource for others and helps to improve kink safety and understanding. Please remember to research everything you do before you do it and trust your gut. Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with.
Unclear consent/hasty consent
All kinks carry inherent risk. Some have physical risks, some psychological risks, plenty have both. Trust your gut if someone seems too eager to dive into something without fully discussing every possible angle you can think of. Don't ever run into something when you could walk. In kink, you aren't just consenting to the activity, you're consenting to the risks which the activity carries. Don't do anything with anyone who doesn't seem to understand that distinction.
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Dynamics are a two way street
One of the most misunderstood aspects of kink is the core element of mutual effort. Generally, less experienced people assume that the Dominant is an active participant, while the sub is a passive one, who simply receives whatever the Dom decides, getting off in the process. While this might work well in a Dark Romance novel it is categorically antithetical to real life BDSM. On a fundamental level, BDSM is a collaborative effort. Both the dominant and submissive are active participants, both have to put forth a lot of effort, both in learning about kink and safety and in actual scenes. While a scene might focus on a sub being a pretty doll for their Dom, just laying there and getting off, that should not be reflective of your actual interpersonal dynamic whatsoever. If a submissive doesn't believe they should have to put in as much effort as you, that's reflective of an unwillingness to put effort into your dynamic or your scene with them.
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Boundaries/safewords for doms
Just like a submissive has to consent to everything you do, a Dom also has to consent to everything in a scene. If a sub doesn't respect your boundaries, pushes them without permission, or acts as if your boundaries aren't as important as them getting off go play with someone else
"I have no limits"/"I don't use a safeword"
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REFUSING TO HONOR A SAFE WORD IS SEXUAL ASSAULT
Subs can assault Doms too.
This is fake. Everyone has boundaries. Some people like saying this doing scenes for fun, which can be fine roleplay, but if they genuinely believe it about themselves they are not emotionally mature enough for kink and are an unsafe partner. Run away.
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"Doms don't need aftercare"
Fake. Run. Unsafe partner.
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"Kink dispenser"
Subs should not view you as just someone who reads their mind and tells them things to get them off. Your needs matter too and all participants in a scene should be attentive to each other's needs and interests. You aren't there just to do whatever they want to get them off the same way they aren't there just to do whatever you want to get you off unless you have specifically agreed that you're both into that AND that the scene is going to be about that.
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Mental Health, Aftercare, and Drops
Your mental health is just as important as your physical safety in kink. Any submissive you play with must prioritize your emotional well-being the same way you need to prioritize theirs. There will be times when you feel weird after or during a scene or even bad about yourself. Dominance is stressful. Yours truly was once in a particularly harsh impact scene as a rookie Dom, realized how rough the marks on their thighs were, and experienced a drop feeling like a bad person even though they had specifically asked for what I was doing to them. It's perfectly normal to snap back to reality sometimes and end the scene for your own comfort. In fact, it is unsafe for your own emotional health to Dom anyone when you don't feel up to it. The correct thing to do is to communicate with the sub, pause or end the scene as needed, get feedback, let them know you need reassurance. Its completely normal and valid. If someone doesn't want to reassure you, that's a huge red flag
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Final notes
There are many "Doms" that are bad actors or abusers. They crave power over others not to seek out a mutual consensual fantasy, but because they want to stop other people from saying "No" to them, and have nonconsensual control over their life.
There are also many "subs" who are bad actors or abusers. Some are thrill seeking with little care for their own emotional or physical well-being, putting themselves and their dominant at risk by refusing to learn about safety or respect others boundaries. Some dehumanize Doms, essentially treating them like jerk off machine that doesn't have boundaries or feelings or require any effort.
Any standard you hold for yourself as a dominant, about consent, about boundaries, about safety, should also apply to any submissive you play with. No exceptions. Both Dominance AND submission need to be continuously earned, not given. If someone thinks otherwise...
theartofmadeline
origamiaround
jacobvanloon
areudirty
vaporwave
izzy806
