hi everyone. i never would’ve thought that I’d make a return back here, but needless to say that i hope that you’re all doing well. it’s truly been a hell of a 3 years- LITERALLY.
anyway, I’m making this post bc life has been VERY rough lately and I don’t really feel like I have anywhere else to turn to anymore… but to make a long story short, my brother went to a crowded gathering unmasked on Friday afternoon and came down with covid on Monday (although he tested for it a day later), and we have all been exposed. my dad just tested positive this afternoon (and his first symptom was a bad cough that developed last night), and my mom said that she thinks she’s starting to feel under the weather as well. as far as I’m aware at the moment, I’m ok (other than dealing with the sheer panic of this situation, 1. Bc this is a first for my family who was SUPER protective up until this point which devastates me to oblivion), and 2. Bc idk WHAT lies ahead, and I’m PETRIFIED out of my mind to find out, and 3. That Time is coming, and I have had a horrific time with it for the past 4 months :/), but yeah. what makes matters worse is that our house is a small, open 2 story building which doesn’t provide 4 people with much ability to isolate. :/ so here we are, game over.
but in any case, I’m having an impossible time coming to terms with the fact that this is my current reality, in fact I feel like 98% of the things that have happened so far this year are things that I would experience in a really bad nightmare. yk, the ones where you wake up in a cold sweat crying. I am just absolutely BESIDE myself, and idk what to do with my anxiety (which is and has been basically skyrocketing off the charts almost constantly now). I just wish there was a break in the clouds SOMEWHERE, and that my family and I would stop getting tested for a little while.
but back to the point. I know that Covid registers differently in everyone’s bodies, but I just kind of want to know of your experiences just in case, bc I’m SO scared for all of us that I don’t even know what to do with myself. I don’t feel safe, and this may be slightly overdramatic, but it kind of feels like this is an the end of the world kind of situation (and maybe I feel that way bc of the trauma we all went through back in 2020, idk. We stayed heavily on top of the news updates and everything and would panic watching the d**th toll rise).
thank you so much, and I’m so sorry for kind of leaving abruptly, I wish so badly that I could say that things have gotten better since I left, but unfortunately that would be one ginormous lie if I did. I appreciate you all so much, and I’m sending you all of my love <33333
