PurpleBlues Photography

Jump into my journey through life. It is crazy, funny, sad and wonderful; all at the same time!

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"Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it or else we're lost and love is dead, and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do." —Ted (Josh Radnor), from How I Met Your Mother

And that is what love is. It is important and it comes first.

It can be very simple, and it can be very complicated... But is very important, we all know that.

What would we have left, if we didn’t know how to love?

Agnes

PurpleBlues Photography ❤︎

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The simple acts of kindness... You know, when you tell someone they are beautiful... You like their smile... You appreciate them being beside you... You helping them carry their bags... You asking them about their day... The simple acts of kindness will get the World cleaner, fresher, easier for new generations to live in... It doesn't cost you anything but just to open up... and just be genuinely present, there, for others... not just for yourself...

Fiona told me she doesn't like her smile... So what do I got to do? Make sure I show the world the killer smile she has! The natural one... the one where she feels herself and not forced to posed nor smile... Wait till you see my goddess pose for me in future pictures to come! You will absolutely go mental! :D

GIRL FREAKING POWER!!!! And her hair! Never died! I would kill for the color like that!!!

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It is amazing how fast time flies!

Since I am not yet allowed to properly work in Ireland I have been browsing through my old photos. Although I am planning a simple shoot within my 5km radius when the weather becomes better once again!

So, as I was looking for these photos, I couldn't find them in the 2019 folder! Got panicky for a second as thought they just disappeared and then it hit me, it was probably shot in 2018! Voilá! It was! And it got me thinking how little time we truly have to achieve everything we want in life!

I have 200 ideas at one time in my head and sometimes get overwhelmed because I ran out of time to do them all... Or even to finish the one! :D

And again and again, I get these reminders: life is never still. Move, do as much as you want and try and accomplish what you set out to...

My beautiful models Emma and Bob (We named him Bob, could have been "Bobette" that day, for what we knew! :D)

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Ferrets and dandelions... Beautiful sunny evenings and my camera in hand... Does it even get better than that? For those of you, that don't know, I LOVE dandelions (in all the forms) so this, as of today... is probably one of my favorite pictures! ALSO, fun fact, I have three beautiful ferrets and a dog, who drives me insane! :) Obviously, for the reasons we all know, I can't photograph clients nor go to the mountains to scout locations, hike... So I have been spending a lot of my time outside since it's amazing weather right now in Galway, Ireland, looking for awesome spots to photograph my bunch! :D We are allowed to move in between 2 km radius of our homes and it has opened my eyes, that yes if you look closely, you will make it work even in the most (at first glimpse) un-attractive locations! And... don't be surprised, if you see me try and recreate this with my other two lads! :D And probably the dog... hahahaha!

Insta Savannah_and_beasts 

https://www.instagram.com/purplebluesphotography/

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I put a lot of pressure on myself some days to "push and keep moving" even though I don't always know what is the end goal.

I create three million projects in my head and fail, of course, because it is too much for one human to handle! :)

I want to learn new things and nearly put them in action on the same day!

 And then I have to slap myself out of it and tell myself to chill!

Work on the projects you already been working on and get better at them. Learn things you already started and get better at them. And give yourself a break.

Because your brain will jam and over-heat and you will be left with nothing! Which has happened on many occasions!

 These days, I see, I create this sense of fake “I am not doing anything; I must be failing” in others!

And that’s never my intention!

My friends ask me how I am doing, and nowadays I nearly want to lie, say, “huh, I am horrible”, to make them feel better… but then again: that’s not me. I can only be straight and honest and try and help you out.

 I am actually doing amazing! Well, probably mainly, because I have so many projects and so many ideas to keep me busy… too busy sometimes. And secondly, because I have been working two full-time jobs for years now, one of them used to take me away from my own ideas and business so much that I used to find myself in a constant state of stress and feeling like I can accomplish nothing.

 This is true freedom for me! The only thing I can do now is to focus on what I been complaining I can’t focus on for years!

I can edit the old projects… I can learn new skills in Photoshop. I can watch all the classes and tutorials on running Social Media and online business, I can go through my own photos and choose which ones I want to sell in my online store. I can actually work on my online store! I can build my website for my photography! And I can actually sit down and write my thoughts.

The pleasure I have not been able to do for a long time now.

I want to write my own book! Well, I can set aside a day to actually sit down and take action in doing so!

 The lack of time before the lockdown was because I pushed myself too much before and used to never be able to complete anything.

So, before you think, I am so jealous, because it seems, Agnes is so on top of everything, she is moving forward and actually accomplishing something, DON’T! It only took a deadly virus to lock me out from the outside World to actually finally manage to work on myself.

Take everything at your own speed! Never compare yourself with anyone!

No one is better at knowing what you need in these uncertain times!

If you feel like binge-watching the show you always wanted to watch, by all means, do it! And know, even if I don’t share it too much because I take too much pride in overworking myself (very bad trait and nothing to be admiring! I am actually working on it…), I burn down too and I too binge watch a lot of shows without even the slightest glimmer of guilt! :D

 P.S. I do miss photoshoots though! That and the mountains are what I miss the most.

With all my love

Agnes

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The dream is to be comfortable in your own skin!

But at the end of the day, it should not be our dreams! It should be our realities!

We should be celebrating our differences and not smashing each other about it.

I was bullied in school. Right after I changed schools ("big city kid came down to a small village school", the kids used to tell me and laugh), I had very bad experiences with my classmates and a class above me. My only friends were older kids, I just clicked with them, plus, I was a bookworm, loved the tests, loved the projects, loved animals above all and was super tall at the time. The tallest in my class (boys and girls included) and super skinny. That is just a classic recipe for disaster, isn’t it? 😊

 As I got older, not only I could easily hang out with older kids, I also easily found the same liked subjects with boys! I loved being outside, climbing trees, running riot. The girls hated me for that! How dare this bushy, non-make-up wearing stick of a girl get along with boys at the age of “giggles and secret love notes”. We were getting into teenage years and all I cared about were still the same things as before: books, nature, animals, my ripped jeans and a t-shirt that had something cute on it.

I adored the arts too! We never had money, so a lot of my clothes were bought from second-hand shops which I would then "Agnes-fy". 😊 I would stitch flowers or dragons on my jeans, re-saw blouses into cool tops, make dresses out of over-sized clothes and saw my younger sister teddy bears and dolls out of the left-over fabric.

 I was "different" from the "normal" girl. I didn't wear make-up up until I was well into my 20s, I never cared too much about the looks, I had big dark oversized eyebrows and long hair that usually was left to its own devices! And today, I hate the worlds “normal” and “different”. There should not be such words to describe us!

Purely by accident, my very first boyfriend (now my boyfriend and husband of nearly 17 years) was older than me. How could this “basketballer” (that’s what they used to call me) find a boyfriend let alone an older guy with a car and a job!

 The first friends I have made in my class, became really close to my heart, until a tiny bit later, I got a note saying, I am cutting/butting into their relationship and they need time “alone”. Kids are cruel beings. Raised by the images of their parents and society mostly. And I, already having very tough time at home, used to just bury myself in books and writing to get away from it all.

 My family life got worse and worse by every single year I grew. Mostly, because I finally understood what was going on. I had an alcohol-abusing father who sometimes used to lift his hands. And my mother was this “lamb” in disguise for a while. Until I got even older and finally learned that I grew up with a narcissist mother who destroyed everything around her. But that’s a story for my book.

I have had thoughts of self-harm and just ending the pain but then my boyfriend, as I said, purely by accident, although there probably aren’t many accidents out there, came into my life and literally saved me and then my siblings later.

 The experiences thought me so much. I am fiercely independent because of it all.

I am not apologetic. If I feel it, I say it.

I am load and quiet at the same time. I will stand up for myself and my family but will walk away from abusers who want nothing but a fight to make themselves feel better. I think, I can tell these people apart really well now.

I am passionate about my interests! Mainly, because I know I matter. To my husband, to my siblings, to my friends.

And I am very true to myself! No one is allowed to change you nor you should change for anyone but yourself! If you feel like something is bothering you, by all means, dig deep and try to change it but not for anyone but yourself!

  The World is a cruel place. They say life is unfair. But I think we see it how we want to see it.

I don’t much believe in humanities over-all ability to change but I am more than open for the said group to prove me wrong any day now! 😊

I still believe in good, in love and in “light at the end of the tunnel”. So perhaps, there’s still hope for all of us! 😊

And at the end of the day, be comfortable with who you are. If you aren’t an abusive asshole, you are already 30 steps ahead of most!

Love Nature, explore the World, try helping others as much as you can, even if just by staying respectful and never walk from those in clear need of help, be it a child, an animal or a grown human being.

  With all my love

Agnes

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I tried waking up at 7 today…

 Which technically, I did! =D And then successfully went back to sleep like 5 times. My alarm went off 9.30 and I was so not ready to begin this “climbing out of the bed” process but also, knew I had too.

So much work was there for me…

 I have never ever been a morning person.

You know how they say you will change when you will become older? Well … 9.30 start is super early already!

Since I can remember, which was when I was around 4, I’d say, I used to go to sleep at around 3am and happily get up later on in the morning. There used to be a TV sit-come on at 2.30 and how I was allowed to watch it, or how I found it in the first place, I do not know. My memory doesn’t go thus far but I do remember sitting in between my asleep parents, waiting for that show to come up, watching it on black&white TV and when be so excited to switch it off because a light “butterfly” would come up before it went black.

 I would then go back to my room, back to my bed and sleep in.

Starting school was horrible for me!

I never liked the structure let alone waking up at 7.

My grandma used to have to drag me out of the bed and weekends were always planned so I could sleep in! 😊 On the rarest occasions my grandma would wake me up earlier than 9 on Saturdays or Sundays! 😊

 Have I changed much? Nope… I still do my best work at night. It’s just gotten tougher now because responsibilities in life wakes me up a lot earlier than I would like to.

Even my dog was never a “morning person”! 😊 It just shows you…

Now, if I get up early, my ferrets don’t even play with me until the noon because they aren’t used to it. 😊

My husband is similar in that but he does morning routine way better and happier than me! 😊 He will get up, with the first alarm bell and go shower, coffee, wood while I am still moaning and crying in bed!

 Is the lockdown bothering me? Nope! It means I can stay up as long as I want and get up when I want. The only thing that is holding me back still, is the thought of going back to my “day job” which, let’s face it, haven’t changed my patterns much just made me hate the mornings again like I used to when I was in school and some years in college! =D

 Change is inevitably coming…

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I am an artist at heart.

Over the past weeks, I have stepped outside my comfort zone (which is drawing, writing, and photography) and started online classes such as Computer Science, online tutorials such as SEO 101 and created several online stores on different online platforms. It is overwhelming and I felt like giving up, to be honest!

And what do you know, today I opened an old notebook of mine where I first scribbled everything "photography-related". Probably 50 notes fell out alongside scribbles of papers with such phrases as "ISO, Shutter speeds" etc. I looked through them and the first thought of mine was: WHY WOULD I WRITE THE OBVIOUS and waste paper? :) Uh, silly girl, I thought to myself... It wasn't that obvious years ago! Do you remember the tears over un-focused shots...? Well, thousands of them?! Do you remember the broken keyboards over Photoshop (I admit, I am a hot-headed person! Keep it secret, please?! :) )?! Do you remember the want to give up looking at endless AMAZING pictures of other artists and feeling like you will never get there?! These days, I get queries about "what camera to buy", "what lenses to use", "how to edit in Photoshop", "can you teach me basic camera skills" and think nothing of it! After all, I have slain the demons of doubt there and now feel so comfortable with sharing my work and not ashamed to admit, I still need to learn a lot but I am learning by being present!

Why would I give up on my new projects now? Well, for one, it is difficult to be learning on your own. Without guides and tutors. Internet is vast and never-ending and it’s easy to step-side with all the different links on different blog posts and tutorials. But at the same time, learning on your own proves what you can accomplish if you set your mind to it! Sure, it is difficult but it is no more difficult than being present in a real class in college. You’ll still need to put in so much work and effort if you want to succeed. I want to accomplish great things in life: which are truly actually pretty simple! • Be in love with life every single day because I am doing something, I actually love • Be comfortable in the shoes I chose to walk in, which in my World means, never wanting to stop learning, pushing through obstacles… • Be the reason your family is provided for • Travel, experiencing different cultures and being able to sustain it with the “working for yourself” plan in hand! That’s it! Nothing to it, right? 😊 Well… A lot of new keyboards might still need to be bought and PC mice fished out the gutters when I throw them out the window in frustration because the bloody SEO means nothing and I am making no sales, whatsoever but here’s to “go big or go home”, huh?! #learning #selfeducation #onlineisevil #Iwillsucceed

Good night for now… With all my love, Agnes