A bit of a deep dive about EDs and stuff that aren't as mentioned in this community.
Awareness of what you are dealing with can help you put a name on your suffering and maybe be better apt to deal with it.
Eating disorders aren't just about wanting to be pretty. The reality is that most EDs are deeper than that, and the obsession with beauty and thin aesthetic is a superficial layer that covers a deeper truth that those suffering are not yet ready to face. Eating disorders are symptoms of much bigger and darker issues that can have multiple cause. It's not all about being pretty, that's usually just a cover up.
People end up in this community for many reasons and believe that losing weight will bring about a solution to the issues they can't face.
- Some people use this as self-inflicted punishment, "messed up in school? Well, you don't deserve to eat."
- Some people use this to punish others, "I'll show them how miserable they make me with my body."
- some want attention and believe that they can only get it by getting thinner, thinner as in "more beautiful" or thinner as in "so sick that they have no choice but care about me." (Munchausen Syndrome can lead to this too).
- some people have deep self-worth insecurities and think that this is the only way they can receive love, "if I lose weight, that boy will like me or won't leave me" -> fear of abandonment and dependence can play a role in this scenario.
- some people need control. Voluntarily depriving yourself shows that you can control yourself and things around you. Getting thinner will show that you have control of your life.
- a coping mechanism to deal with life, restricting or binging. Binging usually results from feelings of loss of control over life. Restricting can be an attempt to gain back control.
- some people do it for attention, usually described in superficial ways like make others jealous or get asked out, but can underline desire to be loved, valued, appreciated, and belong.
- some people do this to get distracted from other harmful behaviors like SH and drugs.
A lot of people can initially start with dieting, but the reasons they develop EDs is usually tied to deeper issues, bigger than just dieting.
There are many reasons people revert to this, and the causes for those behaviors are just as endless:
1. Judgemental parents/family #family always judges everything you do from looks to professional career and friends.
2. Orthorexic/gym obsessed family members.
3. Fatphobic family members
4. Being raised to believe that love is conditional on how you please people
7. Insecurities (can stem from all the causes cited here.
9. Abusive relationships (emotional or physical)
12. Need attention and love from others, fear of abandonment
13. Insecurities about one's worth and ability to be loved.
14. Vengeance, punishment of those we believe wronged us
16. Depression, and other mood/anxiety disorders, also personality disorders.
18. Hyper-awareness of one's appearance (ex: very pretty or ugly)
19. Culture and peers (ex: tiktok vids)
20. High expectations and perfectionism.
With all this, telling someone to just eat won't solve much because in order to get better they have to also address the true issues that lead them here. As well as address the ED behaviors they accumulated: learn to stop counting, learn to not feel guilty about not counting, learn to accept seeing someone thinner than them, and the most important, learn to not fear weight gain.
Many of the info here relate to restrictive EDs, but Binge Eating disorder can also stem from these same reasons. This is usually undercooked and dismissed as lack of control, but the reasons for this is not just about food (I really don't know as much of this, but based on what I read here what stood out).
- some people binge to fill the void deep inside them (like emotional eating but worse, especially when you constantly feel empty)
- a complete rejection of oneself. If you're told all your life that you are useless, you may physically thrown yourself away by engaging in self-destructive behaviors.
Also rejection of others expectations of you by becoming the opposite of what they want you to be.
- addiction. SUGAR is a potent drugs and can lead people to eat more sugar then they need even when full. (I don't have binge eating disorder but I struggle with sugar addiction, and I have eaten a whole pack family size double stuffed oreos, followed by a whole loaf of bread, a whole box of cereals, and drank a whole box of milk). I used to buy sweets on friday, and even when I tried to stop, there's like a force pushing me to go the way that will lead me to CVS so I can buy sweet. Thankfully it was only Fridays or Saturdays, some people struggle against this force daily. It's not just about free will. I willed more than I can remember, but failed so many times.
These issues are serious and each deserve to be taken seriously for what they are and more. Most of the time, there is more than meets the eye. One person may struggle with one or more of these issues at once, and it's hard.
