sleep is stolen time. don't let them take it from you anymore. tonight. we are staying up. til one billion o clock.
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@put-put-is-life
sleep is stolen time. don't let them take it from you anymore. tonight. we are staying up. til one billion o clock.
walks out of a bar covered in kisses and I say "you should see the other guy" and you look in the bar and he's dead in a pool of blood
bolcked. unfallowed.
🚫BOCKED🚫
candy before beer youre in the clear. beer before candy hurricane sandy
everyone who ever tried to kill you failed btw
this isn't something you can rly say in polite company but it's true. if you're trans or from some other marginalised community then a lot of people have wanted you dead. some have tried, in one way or another, to make that happen. you beat them and i'm proud of you
Where is the I’m alone nobody care me monkey
i’m so fucking sad right now. why is he still alone doesnt anyone fucking care him
word on the street is that you have to keep living
Actually my favorite replacement for both 'kill myself' jokes and jokes about reacting violently to things/people that upset me is "I'm going to end up on the news" like it's versatile, it's vague, it's not going to get me in trouble with any censors or websites that take joke threats seriously, it's family friendly while still getting the point across, what's not to love???
cereal tastes better at night because the veil is thin
The FBI in Longlegs: Why is it that this case has been cold for 20 years and within a week of you working on it, all this new information suddenly comes to light? What's your relationship with Longlegs, how does he know your name, what are you hiding from us--
Bill Clinton:
you all hate the position i sleep in because you haven’t advanced to my level and you’re jealous of my mental acuity and caustic wit as well as being extremely good at sleeping
Lets all suck on glass together and make the aquarium clean for everyone
we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies
i need to know every language immediately
horrible news guys…. i want to be in love