Yeah, Really.

Raconteur. Father. Technophile. Imbiber. Purveyor of Quality Assurance. Commuter. Reader. Lover of the sharp wit. Let’s share our hopes, dreams and fears. I promise I won’t tell a soul. Nonsense in 140 Characters or less My quest for validation Talk to me

[pvaras]

So I’m no longer locked out of my blog

Long story short, I was locked out of this blog for quite some time, but I finally got around to fixing it.

So much happened I’m not sure where to begin. Admittedly, I missed long form blogging. I’ll get around to do some writing soon enough.

For now, I’m simply poking around and enjoying myself as I get reacquainted with you guys again through your posts. 

[pvaras]

Hi!

Hi.

[pvaras]

Current Status

Standing for the past hour on a packed Metro North train. Working too much. Righting myself after almost falling when the train lurched. Listening to Kid Rock ?!? Silently laughing at the word "lurched". Growing a beard. Thinking about a report that's due on Monday. Wondering if there's something in my shoe or thinking I may actually have a hole in my sock. Thinking about putting socks on my weekend shopping list. Responding to a Facebook friend request that just now appeared on my phone. Wondering how I went from Kid Rock to Edward Elgar. I could do this all night, folks.

[pvaras]

Escape from New York

Metro North modified their schedule due to the storm. I just made the train. Standing room only. Preparing to spend the next day or two snowbound.

[pvaras]

So!

Who’s hosting me in NYC for a day or two if they close down Metro North and I’m left behind?

:-)

[pvaras]

HI!

[pvaras]

Post 5 things you like about yourself publicly then send this to your 10 favorite followers. (non-negotiable) [I will settle for five words you think describe yourself. But they have to be complimentary words. That's the whole point.]

Tagged!

I've never been comfortable with shameless self promotion, but a need to please, as well as a touch of narcissism compels me, so here goes:

I like to think I'm a likeable person. It takes a lot for me to actually dislike someone. I have a pretty good disposition and love to meet new people. 

I like to have a good time. At parties, I love to bop around, laugh, socialize, and have fun. I'd go so far as to say I'm fun to be around.

I work hard. My childhood was sketchy, and I didn't have a lot of chances. So I made my own. I went to night school to get my degree and I've worked really hard to get where I am. 

I'm funny (or so I'm told). I'm the one always (trying) to be witty. I joke around a lot, love to write my jokey little tweets, and love to be the raconteur.

I'm handsome. But you all knew that.

[pvaras]

Fish on Fish violence

I just watched my Bala Shark tear apart one of my Angel fish. They've been living together for years. What the fuck. Over the weekend I fed everyone live brine shrimp and apparently his inner carnivore has come out.

If this dude bites me as I change the water he'll get a taste for human blood.

Then I'm fucked. 

[pvaras]

Waiting for the train at 7:00 AM in the freezing cold. Not my favorite thing to do. Not even close.

[pvaras]

Brad

I'm horrified by the news of his loss.

One thing that keeps me here is the community that we have all established. Brad was a big part of that community. I could always count on seeing him here, every day. We appreciated one anothers posts. We shared a laugh once or twice. I may not have known him as well as others, but I took comfort in the fact that he was here, every time I popped in post or just to lurk. 

You will be sorely missed, my friend. 

[pvaras]

The calm before the storm. Nope.

[pvaras]

Boring Fish post Part Two

So the bulk of the work has been completed. 

The larger fish were moved back into the 55 gallon tank after spending over 24 hours in the holding tank. To save time I filled it with water from the hose instead of simply filling it with warmer water by the bucket, so it took time to get back to a comftorable 78 degrees. I also let the water cycle with water they had been living in so that the bacteria levels could rise. The tank is crystal clear, the fish are happy back home and all is well. The last thing I need to do is to change the background on the tank, but that's purely for asthetic reasons as I chose one that will match the new blue gravel. I don't feel like dealing with that today.

I also populated the 30 gallon with new fish purchased today. For this tank, I chose colorful, passive fish. I'm easing fish into this tank, so I started with three platys and three mollys with a ratio of two males to one female for each species to induce breeding. I've also placed a live plant in the smaller tank to help keep the water healthy and reduce algea. I'll introduce more fish in a week or so. 

All in all, a pleasant way to spend my time. It's nice to get away from computers, work and technology for a while. 

[pvaras]

It's Christmas Eve and I have a house to prepare and gifts to wrap. However, I can't seem to get out of this chair. I know once I get up I'll be going non-stop for hours, so I'm procrastinating. Laziness is a luxury sometimes. And I'm luxuriating.

[pvaras]

Boring Fish Post

My tank was looking a bit ragged, plus I've been wanting to make some changes. I had a couple of days this week so I got to work. After almost eight hours it was mostly done. 

The enviornment in the 55 gallon tank was getting bad. Honetsly I've been so busy at work at the past few months and I've neglected the maintenence. The algea was getting out of control and the water was unbalanced. I have a mix of hearty fish, but I was getting worried about them. 

First job was to set up the 20 gallon tank. I have a couple of sharks, some angels, a pleco who's getting bigger by the day, and other fish of varying sizes. I used the 20 gallon as a holding tank while I worked in the 55. 

Once the tank was empty I got to work. I pulled out all of the decorations and soaked them in a bleach solution to get rid of the black algea. Then I emptied the tank. I then had to scrape the sides to clean out the algea that was growing on the inside. Then took it outside and completely washed it out. Once back inside, I replaced the sand I was using as substrate and replaced it with blue gravel to add more color. 

Full water change, new pump and heater. Then a 24 hour rest as the tank heats up to a comftorable 82 degrees and the bacteria levels get up to speed. It was a long day but I enjoyed the work as working my hobby clears my mind. 

Of course, all my fish are now cramped in a smaller tank. There was a minute where I was nervous about their health as the stress of a new tank made them nervous, but they're cool now. 

Now I just have to get them back in. 

[pvaras]

Apparently you can get ANYTHING in Wal Mart

Yesterday was a busy day. I literally shopped until I dropped. 

It's the last Saturday before Christmas, and in true fashion I put off a lot of my shopping. I spent seven or eight hours all accross town, at the mall, some smaller shops in strip malls, and finally Wal Mart. I was dreading that one, not strictly because it was Wal Mart, but because I knew it would be a mad house. 

I was right. It was packed. I dutifully finished my shopping, exausted by this point, so I decided to just shop for the gifts and put off food shopping until today. So anyway, after a couple of hours I headed towards the lines. One was short, but the light was off. Assuming that the lane was closed, I opted for the one next to it. I parked my cart and waited my turn.

As I got closer I noticed the cashier on the closed lane was chatting with someone. Maybe she closed the lane due to some customer problem. Whatever. By this time I was toast, after spending the day spending boatloads of time and money. All of a sudden, the woman who ran the closed lane waved me over. I was next! I let out an audible "yay!" and moved over. 

The cashier smiled at me. "You love me now, don't you? you want to marry me now, right?"

I'm a pretty personable guy, and even when tired try to play nice. Now, my expectations are a *bit* higher than that in a life partner. Plus, I'm not particularly available. But she was happy, so I smiled, nodded and said "Oh yeah, sure!"

As I methodically emptied my cart and she rang it up, I was in a serious state of veggy-ness. She was chatting, and I was only half heartedly listening to her. But she was nice enough so I smiled and nodded my head every now and then. When my lane was empty and the total appeared, she commented at the amount. I told her that wasn't even the half of it today. Again, she brought up the conversation of marriage. 

"So how about that marriage? I know what I can offer, but what about you? money? a roof over my head?"

Maybe it was the state I was in, but I started to get a bit irritated. She was really loud, involving me in an akward conversation and forcing me to respond. I wearily looked at her and responded at bit sarcastically "Sure". I thanked her and moved my cart away from the lane. 

At that moment, a woman from the lane next to us caught my eye, grabbed my shoulder and said "money and a roof over my head? I'll take you up on that too!"

Shopping completed and two marriage proposals. It was a banner day. 

[pvaras]

Home repairs never end

I can now officially add plumber to my list of skills sets. 

BTW, never, EVER pour grease down the pipes. That shit accumulates. 

[pvaras]

Cinematic Dreams

Like most people, I dream. 

Some are your standard repressed fears leaking out. I tend to get those when I'm stressed, and I've been known to wake with a yelp, or, depending on the level of stress I'm feeling, an outright scream. 

Sometimes I fall asleep, then wake, spending the time in between in a blissful void.

Sometimes, although rare, I'll have vivid, realistic, cinematic dreams that feel so real that I wake with scents still in my nose, the sensation of whatever I was touching in my hand, and the confusion that comes upon waking when you try to remember doing the things you just dreamed about. This is usually a pointless exercise since my memory is tricked into thinking the events actually happened. This is what happened to me last night.

What has me intrigued about this dream was the perfectly absurd melding of people and places from my past, present and possible future. I interacted with people that I hadn't seen in years. I was taken to locations both known and unknown. I felt free to do whatever I wanted, and did so. There were moments of pure exctasy, moments of embarassment, of confidence, happyness, confusion and sadness. 

But no moments of clarity. 

I woke with a tremendous sense of loss and confusuion, But also hope. And direction. 

I've made incorrect decisions over the years and I've lost people that were so dear to me. I'm grateful for their visits over the years, popping into my head to remind me that my life is hopeful and that it matters. And that I'm loved. 

Then again, why I dreamt of telling off Lena Dunham and chatting with Woody Allen has me completely fucking baffled.