Chaos In The Wonderland @pvtteaparty - Tumblr Blog

I'd like to ask God for a refund on my face k thanks

#I look like a horse #just accepting my ugly fate #horselife

Is there depression or suicide support on Tumblr?

Is there some group I'm not finding that I could join? I feel so alone. I just need someone to talk to. A counselor. A survivor. Anyone.

#suicide #depression #mental health #mental illness #help #help me #mental health support #question #quotes

eliotbaum

environments

I feel like the crappiest person in the world

I’m a Christian struggling to trust other Christians. I have been hurt by the same amount of Christians as non-Christians. Sometimes I wonder what I did to make so many people, who I once called friends, turn away from me. When I look back over the last two or three years, all I think about is how I wanted their help when I was heavy in my depression. I just wanted someone to try their hardest to understand me. Some tried, but they tried only to the capacity that they were comfortable with. When they knew I left home to go kill myself, they hardly reached out to me. People who I went to church with, volunteered with, worshipped God with...they all acted like I never had a place in their lives. My former worship pastor and friend went so far as to ask me “Would you be willing to do this months art graphic?” no less than a week after my attempted suicide. I was so unstable after that. I couldn’t think properly or do anything without struggling. I felt worthless and burdensome to all my friends. I had one friend who I didn’t feel good enough for. The sad thing is, she was there for me the most, but she also had a talent for intimidating me into feeling worse. She was so intimidating that I could never tell her how I felt. I watched her countless times come up with reasons as to why nothing was ever her fault. It wasn’t all bad. It was wonderful at times. But it was toxic. She thought I was her “mini-me” and I was unhealthy and weak enough to believe her. She was an independent go-getter and overachiever. I put pressure on myself to be the same way. And when I didn’t measure up to her I felt like an absolute failure. After I attempted suicide, I hid away from her because I just couldn’t handle her. I knew I was unable to be there for her during some rough stuff in her life. I could barely handle eating every day. A few months passed and her mother passed away. I felt awful and we reconnected, but it was just as I feared. She made me feel like what I was going through didn’t matter. That I should have dropped everything and not taken care of myself just so I could fix our friendship. Without realizing, she belittled my feelings and my hurts. Our last and final encounter was a confrontation (at a worship concert of all places) where she basically called me an asshole out of nowhere and sent me into the worst anxiety attack I’d ever had. I felt like I was in a coma. That one conversation undid all the progress I’d made in therapy and genuinely f**ked me up big time. I decided I never wanted to see her again as long as I lived.

Only three people truly stood by my side, and opened their hearts to understand what I was going through. My husband, a new friendship at work, and my father-in-law. And they all struggled with depression. I’ve just found that most people, including Christians, are 2 inches deep. Unless a person has been pummeled by life, they don’t have the capacity for true sympathy or empathy. I thought I forgave these people but seeing them moving on with their lives while I’m left behind to pick up the pieces of my shattered mind....it puts me into tears.

#Christian #christianity #bible #God #jesus #religion #faith #vent #depression #mental health #mental illness #Suicide

Do you struggle with relationships because your so freaking empathetic?

You have a hightened awareness of other people’s emotions or circumstances, so you show kindness and compassion when someone truly needs it. You are aware how to communicate effectively. You know how to relate to people when they need it.

You’re the friend everyone goes to when they need something, but you’re ALSO the friend who feels the most alone because no one is willing or capable of being there for you. You can’t comprehend how not reaching out and being there for someone, no matter the circumstances, isn’t blatantly obvious to them. And it frustrates the shit out of you.

#friends #friendship #family #depression #mental health #empath #struggling #depressing quotes #outsider #alone #quotes #fuckthis #i'm so tired #i'm done

My eyes are so sore from crying...

It really is me and my husband against the world. I won't go into details, but we were both let down and devastated by his family tonight. They make plans with each other right in front of us. They weren't there for me when I was struggling with suicide. Or since I've been having heart issues. They only ever need Zak when they want electrical work done. We're outcasts in his family. And we truly feel unloved by them. They would argue that, but love is an action word. They haven't done much when it really counted. The hardest part is that they aren't intentionally mean. They're just emotionally stunted and ignormant. I don't say that with bitterness. I say it with a hurt and heavy, broken heart.

#pain #depressive #depressed #sad #lonely #alone #family #drama #I want to die #it hurts so much #friends #frienship #death #ijustwishihadsomeonewhodlisten #suicide

dogiplier

This is your good luck Markiplier.

no catches, no ‘reblog or else’ kinda shit, just a nice friendly good luck to all of you who come across this post on your dash or wherever.

I wish u all a lot of happiness and we all know he does too. Thank u for ur time.

my-tremendousdelusioncollection

fortunatelymystichideout

WE'RE HERE TO HELP

I know that Jaxon isn’t the only one here that has dangerous thoughts floating through their head. If you need help REACH OUT. It doesn’t matter if you think you’re going to be a bother or are making a scene. REACH OUT.

To me. To anyone in this community. To Crisis Text Line. To DBSA. To Suicide Prevention. You are not a burden to anyone so don’t burden yourself. Everything is relative so never have the slightest hesitation to ask for help.

I can’t see everything but this huge community is here for you and each other.

-Mark

Had breakfast with my in-laws today

It was a good time, I think. I try and be extra cheerful when I’m with them because I don’t want to spoil their mood. I’ve learned to accept that they have difficulty understanding my struggles, and most of them are uncomfortable listening to my story, so I don’t want to bother them. My brother-in-law (husband to my husband’s sister) was talking about genuine and ungenuine people. He said, “You know when you have people in your life and they’re just like ‘It was good to see you,’ and it doesn’t mean anything? Like they don’t actually care, they’re just filling silence?” As we were leaving the restuarant, my sister-in-law hugged me and said “It was good to see you.” I’ve been feeling like shit ever since....

#personal #depressed #whydoioverthingeverything #justwishicouldfitin #alone #depression

I got carried away…

#markiplier #murphyproject #murphy bot #i am a sick human being #markipliertag #markimoo #youtube

sweeney-boo

✨ ✨So… I waited a long time for this, and now it’s finally time for the announcement 😳😳! I’m proud to tell you guys, that in the next months, @lyliank and I will launch a kickstarter for our graphic novel project “Eat and Love yourself”. We worked on this since last year, this is a story of a girl named Mindy who suffer of body shaming. We want to talk about how is it to be a woman in the current society with all the diktat of beauty. She will have to put her life in order, and find a new way to love herself. ❤️ This is a 200 pages, black and white graphic novel. We really hope you’ll like all the heart we put at working on this, and help us to create it ! ✨❤️ We have amazing guests to support us and accepted to be part of our adventure.

I’ll be present at the Fan Expo table A294 this week end, with a lot of flyers for you, and I’ll be happy to talked about the project with you.

NOW…stay tuned for more! ✨✨✨

similarjapanesewords

If you're only learning Japanese because of your interest in anime....

Then good for you! I’m happy that something so simple as foreign animation could get you interested in learning a whole other language. Don’t let people make you feel bad just because things Naruto or Sailor Moon got you interested in Japanese. I only ask that you take note that the way they speak in anime isn’t how people speak in real life, and not to ignore learning about Japanese culture as well. Happy studying you guys!