I will never understand why some people in this fandom have such a big deal with Cas being gay or bi like fuck let me see myself in him. I deserve to have someone to look up to as well. 🏳️🌈
the craziest thing about the widower arc is that dean thinks mary is dead too but that is so clearly not the thing he's losing the will to live over. do you understand how fucked up and crazy-making it is that that happens on the show that is conceivably about the winchester men avenging mary winchester's untimely demise? do you get it? he wanted to die and then he was dressing up like a cowboy and his mommy was still dead AM I GETTING THROUGH TO YOU
After defeating Chuck, Dean expects that Jack, who is now the new God, will be able to bring back Cas, but unfortunately, Jack can’t. The entity of the Empty has managed to hide Cas from Jack, and all he can do, is wait for the entity of the Empty to make a mistake and release its grip on Castiel, which might take at least a century.
Dean, shattered by the fact that he is going to have to live his life without Cas, mourning him for the rest of his days, drowns himself into the unforgiving and painful sea of grief. And as much as he wants to give up on life, he forces to keep going, because he doesn’t want Cas’ sacrifice to be for nothing, even if the simple act of breathing hurts.
Unable to stay in the bunker anymore, haunted by the many memories he shared with Cas, Dean leaves the bunker and ends up buying a house near a lake. The house needs a lot of restoration, but Dean decides to work on it, hoping that if Cas is ever brought back from the Empty, he will have a nice home to come back to, even if Dean is no longer alive.
Pairing: Dean Winchester/Castiel
Tags: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, Slow Burn, Depression, Pining, Grief/Mourning, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Suicidal Thoughts, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Self-Esteem Issues, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, lake house, Fix-It, Post 15x19, Established Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Loneliness
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Chapter 11 is up
Taglist (if you want to be added or removed just tell me!
Semi-regular reminder to my readers that AO3 does not have an app and every time you login through one of them, you are potentially comprising your account/password. AO3 has an effective design for mobile use and you can always add to home screen, if you really need an "app" icon.
obsessed with the idea of falling from grace in the pursuit of love. the transformative love of the monstrous. the discovery of love in vengeance. the horror that love can be when it means becoming someone else or someone you always were, how it can be a blessing but more likely a curse. the kind of love that walks the line between sacrilege and sanctification..
Also thinking about how badly Sera Gamble fucked up if she really wanted SPN fans to accept Cas's "villain arc" and death at the end of season 6 and start of season 7. She should NEVER have greenlit a whole episode where Cas got to tell his own side of the story.
Because even if you're screaming NO at him every step of the way, you also have all the context needed to understand why he makes the choices he does in every moment. Like yeah, it's all well and good for Dean to say he was there, waiting for Cas to ask for help. But how was Cas supposed to know that? When all season, it's been Cas trying to explain what he's up against and Dean telling him to shove it?
We've seen that what Dean says isn't really true. All season we've seen it. And lest we somehow forgot, there's a whole flashback dedicated to showing that Cas DID come to him, and saw that Dean had a peaceful life. From the outside looking in, how could Cas ask him to abandon that after all he'd already lost? How could he ask him for more when their last conversation was Dean, hurting and angry over how he'd given everything and gotten nothing in return.
And how could Cas do anything else but go to war, using whatever means necessary, when the alternative was Raphael coming for Dean and Sam yet again, putting them through what they fought so hard and lost so much to avoid?
Like...there was no way anyone but the weird minority of fans who hate Cas/Misha automatically for shipping reasons were going to accept him as a villain who needed to die permanently after seeing The Man Who Would Be King.
Her future depends on the choices we make today, I voted, did you? #vote #ivoted (at Port Washington, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cktu5O0OzoV/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
Definitely @wilwheaton and @neil-gaiman… Almost everything else I know is SPN related and I don’t think you want to go down that rabbit hole just yet… lol
If you can’t find a place on your blog for Patrick Stewart in a bathtub dressed like a lobster, then your blog probably doesn’t deserve such majesty anyway.
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