BrokenHeartOfSteel

I would like to apologize in advance. She/they/flair · Bisexual · Paragirl

[pyrophoenix]

Set It Off is the best fucking band in the world, and I dare you to convince me otherwise.

[pyrophoenix]

Ludicrous Animals of the Week: Edition 3

Doing my best to make this a weekly thing! We’re back again this week with an animal that’s actually kinda cute. 

I present *dramatic drumroll*: The Slow Loris

awwwwwwwwwwwww

He’s cute, right? He looks like the worst harm he could do is hit someone with his lil hands. Well, think again. The bite of a slow loris can pierce bone.

That’s right, a bite from this bitch will fuck you up. Not only do they have an incredibly painful and strong bite force, they’re the world’s only venomous primates. They get the venom from a gland on their elbows. They lick the gland, and the venom mixes with their saliva for a lethal and agonzing bite.

Slow lorises: if you can see how cute they look, it’s already too late.

There’s another particularly weird thing about the slow loris: They may mimic cobras. 

When slow lorises take defensive positions (which happens just before their devious elbow lick), they raise their arms above their head to mimic the figure of a provoked cobra. Even when they are milling about regularly, slow lorises move very deliberately, with hand-over-hand motions, which make their movements appear snakelike.

I’m very glad I decided on slow lorises for this edition, because their horrifying fact isn’t what their dick looks like. 

The final fact is *another dramatic drumroll*: slow lorises have two tongues

You’re probably thinking of some freaky two-tongue-side-by-side kinda deal, but one tongue actually sits underneath the other. This smaller, usually hidden tongue is used for cleaning their teeth, while the more normal upper tongue slurps up nectar.

Basically, they have a built-in toothbrush.

I hope you enjoyed this volume of Ludicrous Animals, and there’s a chance the next one will be posted next week.

[pyrophoenix]

I just misspelled California as Califpornia, kill me now

[pyrophoenix]

Ludicrous Animals of the Week: Edition 2

So the weekly thing didn’t really happen, I completely forgot about this. But I thought I’d post another update, just because :)

Let’s continue!

This week’s animal: The Japanese Spider Crab

I’m decidedly not caught between “It’s so cute!” and “It’s so ugly!”

It’s ugly.

First interesting fact about this sleep paralysis demon: They are the largest species of crustacean discovered. They also have the largest leg span (as you can clearly see) of any arthropod. These “lil guys” are actually born so small you can barely see them.

I was planning to say “moving to the weird side” but that’s not technically true. Everything about these guys is weird. 

Despite their hard armor shells, the legs of Japanese spider crabs are pretty breakable. Even so, losing limbs doesn’t stop them. These resilient horrors can live well even after losing three legs. They can actually regrow their limbs, so don’t rely on breaking their legs to get away from them (don’t break their legs though, that’s just mean).

Now onto the “most fun” part of this post: The Horrifying!

Just like the echidnas, I wish it didn’t have to come to this, but...

Japanese spider crabs eat corpses.

This fact isn’t as bad as the echidna one, but it’s horrifying in its own way.

Japanese spider crabs prefer scavenging for food than hunting themselves, so they very often eat the carcasses of animals they find along the way. Old legends say that these crabs would yoink sailors off their boats and eat them. While you really don’t have to worry about being dragged to the pits of hell by these demons, they probably wouldn’t shy away from nibbling on a dead human if it came along.

That’s an unfortunate fish.

Have... fun with what you’ve just learned, and I hope this gives you nightmares. If it does, I’ve done my job.

Watch for the next edition of “Ludicrous Animals”, and have a haunting day.

[pyrophoenix]

TIL that demons exist

[pyrophoenix]

If you are a part of the LGBTQ+ community, you are legally obligated to have Everybody Talks on your playlist. 

Sorry. Those are the laws.

[pyrophoenix]

When your Tumblr activity graph looks like you’ve flatlined

[pyrophoenix]

OH MY GOD I NEVER REALIZED HOW INAPPROPRIATE THE SIMPSONS IS

IM BABYSITTING AND WATCHING IT WITH A 3RD GRADER

ITS SOARING MILES ABOVE HER HEAD

[sexceptionul]

I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:

IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.

1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.

2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.

3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”

4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”

5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.

TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.

Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isn’t a joke, and neither is someone’s life. If you didn’t know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.

[thedanliest]

why on earth doesn’t this have more notes

[outtelligent]

I actually had to do this once. She lived.

[faeirytale]

if you scroll past this on your dash you are absolutely heartless.

[natalie-as-herself]

Reblog this!! This can save somebody’s life!

[aika-chan01]

reblog.

help.

do not scroll down.

[nonextistentttttt-deactivated20]

I SWEAR TO GOD IF ANYONE SCROLLS PAST THIS WITHOUT REBLOGGING I WILL LITTERALLY FIND THEM AND GIVE THEM A LECTURE

[danqueray-deactivated20200703]

may I just update this?

see the little thing that says help?

[josephdreemuur-moved]

Don’t ever scroll past this post. FUCKING NEVER SCROLL PAST!!!

[xcassidy]

🌸🌸🌸

[undiagnosed-autism-things]

Anyone know where it is on mobile ???

[i-am-a-moron-deactivated2020051]

You report the user, choose “something else”, scroll down and choose “suicide or self harm”

[femur-theif]

DO NOT SCROLL DOWN

REBLOG TO LITERALLY SAVE A LIVE

[im-just-trying-to-survive-man]

PLEASE REBLOG

[tastingmellow]

Please don’t scroll past this post, you could save someone’s life.

[mo0oshro0om]

SAVE A LIFE

[dontwantthenextcommanderiwantyou]

If you’ve ever contemplated, attempted, or know someone who’s committed suicide you should reblog this right now.

[primordialsmoothie]

Reach and help someone

[wewatchthesameshows]

Absolutely reblog this every time you see it!!

[pyrophoenix]

GO LISTEN TO SET IT OFF’S NEW SONG

GO LISTEN TO SKELETON

DO IT NOW

[pyrophoenix]

Ludicrous Animal Of The Week, Edition #1:

Oh buddy oh boy, I’m starting a weekly thing! Every week (at some point, don’t count on days) I’ll be posting a new “Ludicrous Animal of The Week”. Some will be wacky, some will be adorable, some will be downright horrifying. I’ll give you an interesting fact, a really weird fact, and a fact that’ll make you shudder :) Hopefully, y’all can learn a thing or two, and I won’t scar you too deeply with some of these facts.

Let’s get started!

Our first animal: The Echidna

I’m caught between “it’s so cute!” and “it’s so ugly!”

First interesting fact about this lil guy: They lay eggs, and yes, they’re mammals. Like the platypus, echidnas are egg-laying mammals. The eggs weigh between 1.5 - 2 grams (which is SO TINY).

Echidnas- They’re weird. Here’s why:

Despite what you might think, echidnas eat no vegetation. They’re carnivores- eating ants and other tiny insects. You wouldn’t think of that lil buddy as a cold-blooded killer, but things aren’t always as they seem.

Now for my least favorite part: The Horrifying!

*sigh* I really wish it didn’t have to come to this, but...

Echidnas have four-headed d*cks.

Yup. They do. And the reason is... agh.

Female echidnas have a two-branched reproductive tract. So, during the... no-no activities, the male echidnas use two heads to do their thing, while two are not in use. They alternate between the four every time they engage in adult fun.

And just ‘cause I wanna make you squirm, HERE’S A PICTURE:

ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew

I’ll be leaving now. Have fun with the information I just gave you, and watch for the next edition of “Ludicrous Animals”

[zemosimp05-deactivated20221220]

Loki: Do you have any crush Y/N?

Y/N: *blushing* Well there's this handsome sorcerer…

Loki: Strange?

Y/N: Sassy

Loki: Barton?

Y/N: Particularly clever

Loki: The angry doctor?

Y/N: Very talented for lying

Loki: Romanoff?

Y/N: With murder charges against him

Loki: Barnes?

Y/N: Talks like he's from another age

Loki: Captain almighty?

Y/N: From space…

Loki: My brother???

Y/N: Seriously! Loki! Are you kidding me?

Loki:….

Loki: nick fury?????

Y/N: *annoyedly* Oh you dumb bitch…yeah its fury…

Loki: Bu-but I thought you like me….

Y/N: I’M GONNA KILL YOU LOKI…

[pyrophoenix]

My personality is just:

Throne of Glass

Marvel

Set It Off

Stardew Valley

Shadowhunters

Keeper of the Lost Cities

Dungeons & Dragons

Tbh it’s not a mad personality collage to have

[pyrophoenix]

SHOOT I MEANT BAD PERSONALITY COLLAGE

[pyrophoenix]

My personality is just:

Throne of Glass

Marvel

Set It Off

Stardew Valley

Shadowhunters

Keeper of the Lost Cities

Dungeons & Dragons

Tbh it’s not a mad personality collage to have

[pyrophoenix]

Ranking these popular book ships, because why not

(TOG) Rowaelin: 10/10 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

(TOG) Elorcan: 9/10 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

(TOG) Manorian: 8/10 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

(TOG) Lysaedion: 7/10 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

(SH) Clace: 10/10 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

(SH) Sizzy: 8/10 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

(SH) Malec: 10/10 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

(KOTLC) Sophitz: 3/10 🔥🔥🔥

(KOTLC) Sokeefe/Team Foster-Keefe: 10/10 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

(KOTLC) Tamiana: 5/10 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[mercurianbisous-deactivated2023]

TOG characters as random The Office quotes

Aelin

Rowan

Dorian

Manon

Chaol

Yrene

Gavriel

Lorcan

Fenrys

Maeve

[pyrophoenix]

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, my will to live.

[adamarart]

Manon Blackbeak from the Throne of Glass series by @therealsjmaas. This is a personal project I did to see how much I improved since 2018. If you go to my DeviantArt, there is an illustration of her and is the sixth one I did when I bought my graphic tablet back then. I’m really happy with the improvement and creativity I’ve developed these past years so thank you so much for sharing this journey with me, specially this last year 💛💛🔥🔥