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A human being. The world is my notebook and I will engrave it with my imagination

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Entire books have failed to enthrall me the way @qualitynerdwasteland ’s autobiography did in it’s first few sentences

Why does your dumb butt not WRITE!!!

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

So it felt such a looooooong time since I was waiting to be interviewed at MM communications and did not realise that Joseph Gordon Levitt was going to interview me.

Of course I was nervous but the moment I realised that he was skeptical of even considering me for the position, I kinda went off about all the fields I'd worked in and projects I'd taken up. Like you could see it written on his face that he was either genuinely worried or somehow not welcoming of the idea of me working here.

To everyone's surprise I made it to the company and was part of this huge orientation where- surprise surprise- I saw him again. I tried to ignore the man who clearly was not comfortable by the sight of me during the interview. But this really sweet, bubbly blonde kept giggling throughout the orientation telling how Joseph Gordon Levitt kept looking on my direction.

At first I thought she was making fun of me but whenever I intentionally or unintentionally looked in his direction I would literally freeze at that fucking intense glare in my direction.

And it did not stop there? After the orientation when we were assigned our profiles, this bitch had the audacity to idk tell HR to put me in his team or something.

It was just day 1 man. Just. Day. 1. And he gave me shit ton of work. Day 1. I did not even have lunch. And whenever I went to his cabin he would send me off to make me run MORE ERRANDS!!!!!

By 4 on his cabin clock I practically just barged in to have a say in whatever this was. Before I could say anything, Mr Joseph Gordon Levitt stood up and told me to 'go away, I'm busy right now.' and before I could say anything, I fainted from exhaustion, falling towards the grey tiles before his caught me.

He gasped as black smoke pushed him away and picked me up by my throat to transform itself into a wicked-witch-of-the-west Kate Walsh.

And I fucking woke up so angry because I have watched NO media with Joseph Gordon Levitt for AGES!!!!!

WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK??????????

[colifower]

I legit thought that it was for reañ XD

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

It was so weird to see this after one twisted week. And that too? Joseph Gordon Levitt???? Like Sir???? The last I saw you you were having a third eye revelation about doing it ™ right with the right person??????? What in the 12 dimensions?????

[qualitynerdwasteland]

Aah yes, the time when we and our other cousins infamously spent the night watching don Jon together. Love it when we spend time just like all the other healthy functional families :')

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

I was supposed to leave work an hour ago but the damn cow at the farm didn't give enough milk for me to take home and mom doesn't want me to come home before that and now I'm stuck at work doing nothing because the universe heard I didn't wanna work after 2 so my office's network is down

[qualitynerdwasteland]

Just Indian Problems

[qualitynerdwasteland]

The Tales of a Fallen God

Series warning: Violence with a chance of romance. Tiny. Microscopic even. Depends on how I'm faring in my microscopic love life

Written for @maladaptive-ninja-returns 's 1K challenge.

Tags: @tarithenurse , @maladaptive-ninja-returns and the countless sex bots following me.

Chapter warning: mention of schizophrenia,

(Having mental disorder doesn't mean a person is crazy. )

Prologue

"What are you waiting for? Pathetic! Are you scared of shedding a little blood ?"

A voice of a man haughtily mocked me.

I wasnt sleeping and this definitely wasnt a dream.

But, the voice resounded within my head, constantly taunting me and provoking me, telling me to do things I rather wouldnt.

Preparing myself for what I had to do, I rubbed my temples and opened my eyes.

A small army of over a hundred humans stood at a distance, facing me. My stomach churned just from sensing their killing intent.

As the demon inside me continued harping, i looked down at the two shortswords i was carrying in each hand. They were currently my only source of comfort and protection. No thanks to my only companion who was, weird enough as it sounds, residing inside me currently.

"If you're done with the self pitying, I really wouldn't mind seeing a little light stabbing."

If I had to constantly hear a voice in my head, why couldn't i have schizophrenia instead. Nothing my brain could concoct, could possibly be as perpetually violent as what my internal hitchhiker came up with.

"Stab them in the throat or preferably, the eye, if you're taking requests."

Shaking off the distracting thoughts, I tightened my grip on the daggers and glanced at the men staring at me with hostility.

"COME." A strange powerful shout erupted from my mouth and I charged forward with, weirdly, a twinge of excitement.

I was really planning on facing an entire army alone.

"Ugh... Maybe, I've gone crazy after all."

Notes:

Written with a metaphorical gun pointed at my head. The gun being filled with good beer.

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Nada’s 1-yr Celebration!

We are going fic-writing to celebrate my One Year Fanfic Anniversary and 1K followers! Let’s goooooooo!

Because this is the first time I am doing this, I’ll keep it short and sweet. And if the readers would like me to write any prompt for them they are always welcome! (PS- We’ll have our own share of fun these entire four weeks too.)

Keep reading

[qualitynerdwasteland]

Dignity? Never heard of such a thing. Ft. The God of mischief himself

[amritashower]

“ゾロ、17歳。”

[maladaptive-ninja]

@qualitynerdwasteland

[qualitynerdwasteland]

@maladaptive-ninja-returns I love how this humanises the pain and struggle zoro goes through. I would definitely watch this version of OP

[ladyshinga]

if Gilbert Gottfried isn’t voicing this slamming power bottom then what are we even doing here

[elisamaza]

this screenshot leaves out the best part of the character design

guy fieri couture

[blapis-blazuli]

I think we’re not seeing the bigger picture here which is that Disney has a dating sim app, if Iago is in it then who the fuck else is in it

[primeministerofantarctica]

Flotsam and Jetsam are in it too. Because obviously when I think of disney villains I want to romance, the eels from the little mermaid are my first choice.

[peechi]

[princes-reblogs-deactivated2020]

I didn’t think this could get any wilder and yet

[maladaptive-ninja]

*screams into enternity* @qualitynerdwasteland

[thebootydiaries]

me: *on my period*

me: sometimes u gotta bleed to know that ur alive and have a soul

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Why do I get a feeling that you, @qualitynerdwasteland would say something like this?

[qualitynerdwasteland]

@maladaptive-ninja-returns bold of you to assume I bleed

[extramadness]

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.” - Leo Buscaglia, Living, Loving & Learning

Get the book here!

[hgk477]

How to feel again

Walk barefoot in the grass, remember the way this feels. Now put your shoes back on, you do not want the thing to touch your toes.

Go outside in the dark, scream at the moon. She is listening, it is okay.

Allow her to comfort you, she means well.

If you hear other people screaming, do not fret, they are just as apathetic as you, let them feel.

If an elderly woman comes and stands near you, thank her. Listen to what she has to say, she knows best.

If you see an animal that does not belong, leave. Go home, and sit in a room in the dark. If you don’t, go home and have a good night’s sleep

Do not fall asleep.

If you hear whispers, it is okay.

Remember rule number 7 and 10. Leave at sunrise. Lock the door behind you. Feel.

More guides

Escaping angelic prison

How to confirm whether or not you are a changeling

If you are a researcher or adventurer and want to share a guide, join our subreddit!

[hailstormdeath]

Where is rule 10???????

[qualitynerdwasteland]

@maladaptive-ninja-returns step by step guide on escaping the darkness desiring to swallow you whole

[secondclassvines]

[maladaptive-ninja]

@qualitynerdwasteland

[baristabomb]

one piece characters as ‘whose line is it anyway’ prompts

The Strawhats in General

Luffy

Zoro

Nami

Usopp

Sanji

Chopper

Robin

Franky

Brook

Ace

Sabo

Law

and then get in an alliance with them

[maladaptive-ninja]

OH. MY. PIRATE GODS. I AM SQUEALING HERE!

@qualitynerdwasteland bruh

[kaeceylany-deactivated20140331]

[kndall-deactivated20150220]

when shots are fired but you have a good comeback

[paragonpostcards]

did he just airbend?

[deadlifting-demigod-deactivated]

His teammate suddenly collapses in pure awe

[maladaptive-ninja]

@qualitynerdwasteland new meme for the day!

[gharibajameel]

Les enfants terribles…

[under-the-arch]

Me as a dad

[maladaptive-ninja]

@qualitynerdwasteland

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[poisonedapples]

@em-be-lievable I immediately thought of you

[em-be-lievable]

@poisonedapples ITS TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT!!!! 

[maladaptive-ninja]

@qualitynerdwasteland now I know why

[qualitynerdwasteland]

The more you know

[thesmii7y-remade]

when i say i screamed ..

[atrius97]

The game is called Death Trips, and it’s played completely straight until this exact moment.

[embryaa]

[kingevangelista]

I’m weak 😭😭😭😭😭

[maladaptive-ninja]

@qualitynerdwasteland

[perkistani]

i was so worried in the beginning fdshdskj

[random-stuff-thrown-into-a-pot]

[gaiomon]

I’m hiding money from my wife…..TO BUY HER GIFTS LMAO BITCH U THOUGHT.

[maladaptive-ninja]

@qualitynerdwasteland feels like something you (or me, if I’m lucky) would do with our wives 😂

[qualitynerdwasteland]

I'd just give her like gift cards or something