i’m about to monologue, son

you can’t make a tomlette without breaking some greggs

[thesevenumbrellas]

Tumblr gifmakers are better than $1mil worth of marketing. I’ll see endless ads for a show and be like meh but I’ll see one good gifset and suddenly I’m on s2 ep10 finding blorbo from my gifs

[ocdnatural-deactivated20220809]

Okay i usually wouldn't do this because I'm a nice person but you've sent me over the edge. I used to follow you once back when you were funny, and when your constant posting would've maybe been justified. I was following 110 people and when i followed you you were my 111th which is special because you that's an angel number if you didn't know. I had to unfollow you and then my following wasn't complete so I followed a reylo account to make it an angel number again and i hated seeing them on my dashboard and it was all because of you and I still check in sometimes but i don't follow you anymore. i hope you know all that. you ruined my day and you ruined my angel number and disrupted everything and ruined everything and i hate you and i hope you go to hell one day

are you mad at me

[maidsuokasenpai]

I honestly think the original ah lads not again post is the funniest

[maidsuokasenpai]

[tourfilm]

oh yeah heres my collection of 2021 headlines that i forgot to post when the year ended

[hiehearts-deactivated20221106]

she ebbin on my neezer til i scrooge

[fortinbrasftw]

so, here's the thing. tumblr/apple can ban as many words as they want and it will never achieve their goal of "cleaning up" this site because this wretched nonsense poetry is somehow now the single dirtiest thing I have ever read in my life and honestly thank god.

[monicam]

my first attempt at a creepypasta (beginner here; go easy on me)

carpeted kitchen

[omegaverse]

bro i thought i was sooooo grown when i was 18 loool

[omegaverse]

idk what 18 year old needs to hear this rn but you are a child

[deaddolin]

where are the milfs.

[blackpyrefly]

spending time with their kids. its the holidays.

[pathologising]

they hate me for being a slut tbh and maybe also the killings too but that's unlikely

[oneheadtoanother]

[knifefightscene]

How does anyone even find the time and energy to hate watch and hate read stuff I don’t even have the time to love read and love watch stuff

[expensiveity]

i wish people would normalize being lost in life and just not knowing anything. not knowing what you’re passionate about, where you want to live, what you want to do, where you want to go— or what lies next. as a society, we normalized going to school, finding a passion, getting a job, finding a partner, getting married, having kids, working hard to earn an honest living. but what about when shit just doesn’t go that way? you really just don’t know. and what’s even worse is, you don’t know why you don’t know or even where to start so you feel alone. you feel as though you’re a disappointment to your family. as if you failed in life. but you haven’t, it’s okay, to not know. to be lost. you have your whole life ahead of you to figure things out. patience is a virtue. there is no time limit on life. you don’t need to rush. don’t allow society to fixate the narrative of having all your shit together at a certain age. it isn’t realistic for most. being lost is so much more normal than we think. and i just wish people would be more transparent about it.

[dovabunny]

The single funniest thing I’ve seen in 2019 (sound on)

[jl-streams]

This is so funny? Why does it only have 500 notes I’m screaming I feel this Italian in my soul

[mctreeleth]

These guys should be the ones voicing the new Mario movie.

[peanit]

some of you are a little too pretty to be on tumblr i think you should be luring people to their watery demise instead

[adampvrrish]

what Big Hardcover doesn't want you to know is that paperbacks are actually superior & easier to hold & sexier & more comfortable despite being less sought after & cheaper than hardcovers.. IGNORE hardcover propaganda they are deceiving you fools

[inthetags]

reblog and put in the tags a celebrity you can’t stand for purely personal/petty reasons

[aureliusaurus]

When I'm having a bad day I like to imagine myself as the main character of a fantasy novel and main characters always go through a shit load of tragedy but still manage to stay hot and it makes me feel a lot better.