“we will conquer this wilderness, it will not consume us” leviticus 16:21-22
11.26.19 0106
every day i wake up in the shadow of my shame as i search for the meaning of a seemingly meritless life and to assign blame for the reasons that don’t seem to get it right the first time to find a name or source to shift this tubulence of mine onto the goat to send it to the desert that i live in but at least it will be at arms length instead of a self-conjured possession
i use to think that the shame came from trauma from the things that have been told to me by seeking solace but now it’s obviously low emotional intelligence like i’m fixated on something but as i get older it seems that i’m just living through other people
i have not time for me, there is not time for me living in the shadow of my shame economy where nothing is noble and nothing is real and passion is animal in my ascetic vacuum sealed and cut off from the world where perception is valued of mindfulness is that really what i value though? or is it just the monastic madness










