😏

Stella, 25, Totino's Pizza Roll Enthusiast

[geniusbee]

these are getting weird

[risk-repeater]

this job market is a fucking nightmare

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[quinoaphoenicks]

I love you guys but I think a lot of you are the kind of people who are susceptible to falling in with a cult.

[teaboot]

You’re right. We should all band together under a trustworthy and influential leader who can keep us safe from outside threats

[dogpuppy]

[squirrelly-13]

they got married btw

[visit-me-here-in-wonderland]

oh you’re not kidding

[quinnspinkcamera]

when people are like "i didn't come here to make friends" i'm like thats sooooo unrelatable. i am always on the look out for some girl friends. I would be in that hunger games cornucopia like "your ex boyfriend did WHAT."

[theconcealedweapon]

[maarvarq]

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

[theconcealedweapon]

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

[tiny-space-whale]

No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[crabanarchy]

I can tell my evil advisor has been feeling down lately so I've been pretending to take big sips from his cursed chalice and then roaming the palace grounds groaning and clutching my abdomen. Lowkey I know it's deceptive but I can tell it's really cheering him up. I heard him evilly cackle for the first time in weeks. WIBTA if I keep doing this

[crabanarchy]

UPDATE: I think I may have gone too far on this. I was making a whole production of being stupefied and enfeebled after he brought me my morning pistachio frappe. I had my manservant bring me to my chambers so I could cough weakly in my bed with the sunshine falling weakly across my pallid face because I know he really likes that but he didn't even smile and I heard him whispering "I didn't even poison that one" to his dark serpent. Now he hasn't even whispered maliciously into my ear all day and the servants say they saw him alone in his chambers bouncing his scrying orb into the wall. Should I come clean and apologise or do I try to make it seem like someone else poisoned me? It might cheer him up to have an imaginary rival to plot against

[status-quo-hater]

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense

[labelleizzy]

[eriyu]

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

I have never seen the 2nd object before, but with the Power of Algebra I now know it's a saw horse

Information is WILD

[handweavers]

mice are having sex in my walls :(

[handweavers]

the mice are fucking AND now i'm getting heckled

[gloriousbodies]

@oyavaski​ i think the funniest part of this is you thinking that this is fake because.....some of us are the same age and we have normal tumblr names i guess lmao????

[handweavers]

never thought i'd get accused of faking having a mice infestation for tumblr clout and yet here we are

[eldriitchmurmurs]

you fucked those mice yourself

[handweavers]

I fucked those mice myself

[fortheloveofgrantaire]

“i’m gay” “i’m straight” okay??? but i am agog??? i am aghast??? is marius in love at last??? i’ve never heard him ooh and ahh??? we talk of battles to be won??? and here he comes like don juan??? it is better than an opera???

[fellshish]

i’m so glad goncharov happened pre ai slop era

[romanitas]

#weird way to describe 1973 but i guess it’s accurate

[dappermouth]

i can understand the trials but were the tribulations really necessary

[sugar-petals]

one piece is everywhere for those with eyes to see

[partywithponies]

One of the most annoying genres of people on the internet are people who act like they believe science is one single monolithic thing. Like, you'll see an article saying something like "scientists studying the movement of tectonic plates", and then in the comments there'll be several smug people saying "smh why are scientists doing this instead of finding a cure for cancer", like. Why would a geologist be doing that.