Brief Summary: Almost two years after the fight with Thanos Steve starts putting on meetings to help people who have lost someone. In doing so Steve takes an interest in a woman who comes to the meetings. They both soon find out that they're two broken lonely souls and kindle a friendship with one another. That friendship slowly grows into something much more.
Warnings: Alcohol/Drinking, Lots of Fluff, Smut
Author Notes: This is a Slow Burn so it’ll be a few chapters before the juicy stuff ;)
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6
Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9
If you would like to listen along with the story here's the Spotify Playlist
Ugh I can not express this enough!! I also hate writing smut. It really does take entirely too long and I can never find the right right words to express what I’m picturing. Then when I do find the right words I’m always like “ew am actually going to use those words” lol
Summary: Almost two years after the flight with Thanos Steve starts putting on meetings to help people who have lost someone. After doubting his feelings for Raven, Steve has now realized his feelings for her. This is the morning after they spent their first night together.
Warnings: Little Fluff, Little Smut
Word Count: 3.2K
Author Notes: Still some spice in there for y'all ;)
Let me know what y'all think :3 Feedback is very much appreciated!
If you would like to listen along with the story here's the Spotify Playlist
A Second Chance Masterlist
Chapter 8
Steve’s POV
Just like last night the sun started to slowly creep into the room. I opened my eyes to stare up at the ceiling. My eyes darted around the room noticing the emerald green painted walls. I let my gaze wander around her room, noticing the gold colored accents she had on the walls and the large black and white photo she had of the forest. Hearing a rustle in the bed I looked over to see Raven tangled in her white sheets. She was laying on her stomach, her hair sprawled along her pillow. A small smile came to my lips seeing her like that. I naturally slid closer to her, placing a kiss on her shoulder. I stilled worried that I woke her as she reached over and placed her hand on my chest. I let myself breathe again once I knew I hadn’t woken her. Even in her sleep she was a touchy person. I went back to looking around her room. This time I noticed her plants that were in front of her window. I held in a chuckle seeing them. Of course she had plants in here too. I looked at the wall to ceiling bookshelf she had that was full of books and large crystals.
Her dark wood dresser had pictures of her dogs and one of her family. I let out a soft sigh as I studied the photo. She looked completely different in the photo; she seemed truly happy. She was younger and her family was whole. I could tell by her smile that it was photo taken before she met her ex boyfriend. It saddened me that I could see the difference in her smile from the photos she had in her office to this one. I couldn’t help but to wonder what she was like back then. I’m sure she was still just as kind and thoughtful. My eyes shifted back at her and another smile came to me. My mind brought on flashes from last night. I closed my eyes, allowing the vivid images of Raven's skin on mine. Her kisses. How she looked underneath me… and how she looked on top of me. The feeling of her pulsing around me- I leaned down and placed another kiss on her shoulder. Half of me wanted to wake her up right now. I looked at her face and changed my mind. She looked so peaceful and relaxed. I couldn’t dare wake her even if I wanted to. This might have been the first time in a while that she slept peacefully.
Hearing a groan that wasn’t my own I sat up slightly to glance down at the foot of the bed. I saw one of Raven’s dogs, Hercules, stretched out below her feet. All of her dogs loved her but Hercules and Sugar appeared to love her the most. Regretfully I lifted up the covers and slid myself out of her touch. My eyes shifted to Hercules who popped his head up when he felt my movement. I placed my index finger over my lips giving him a silent shush. His golden eyes looked into mine before he lowered his head back down and let out a huff of air. I tried to walk as quietly as I could while I looked for my boxers and my shirt. Once I did I slipped into Raven’s bathroom. The color scheme of her room seemed to follow into her bathroom. While I was watching my hands I noticed the hand written words on her mirror.
“What is grief, if not love preserving.” I read. I wondered how often she read those words, how often she said them, how often they got her through the day. Opening the bathroom door I was greeted by another dog. I chuckled seeing Phoenix’ docked tail wagging at me.
“Morning.” I hushed out and he stretched at me in response. Honey trotted over to me and I instantly looked over at Raven to make sure they didn’t wake up. She seemed like she was still sleeping peacefully. She was probably used to their sounds. It wasn't until I saw Sugar walk through the open bedroom door that I got the message that they wanted to go outside. I smiled and shook my head letting them show me out of the room and down the stairs to the back door. I wasn’t quite ready to leave her in bed by herself but I’d rather her sleep in then to wake up because of me.
I wandered around her kitchen opening up the cabinet until I found the coffee mugs. I placed it underneath her keurig. I looked outside seeing her dogs running around. It reminded me that I should be going on a run this morning.
“I can skip it.” I said to myself. I took my coffee to the table in the kitchen. I kept my eyes focused on the dogs while they were outside while also watching the sun rise. I stilled as I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Then I smiled as I heard those footsteps getting closer to me until they reached me.
Feeling her hands touch the top of my shoulders and then slide down to my chest as she hugged me from behind I let out a deep breath feeling her hands on me.
“What are you doing up, Lover?” She asked me. She placed a kiss on my cheek and I leaned back into her embrace. A smirk came to my lips replacing my smile when I heard the name she called me.
“I’m normally up this early to go for a run.” I told her.
“Why are you up?” I asked her. I picked up one of her hands and brought it to my lips so I could kiss the back of her hand.
“My bed felt lonely...” She told me and I chuckled, shaking my head.
“That’s my fault. I let the dogs out when I got up. I was trying to keep them from waking you up.” Raven placed another kiss on my cheek and took in a deep breath.
“No, they just tricked you into letting them out.” She said kissing me with another kiss on my cheek. Her arms gave me a squeeze.
“I could give you a work out if you wanted…” She whispered out. A shiver ran down my spine as I felt her warm lips on my neck.
“I might take you up on that offer.” I told her.
“Thank you for letting my dogs out.” She told me as she pulled away from me. I watched as she walked into the kitchen. She was wearing a light blue pajama set. I made a subtle hum seeing how her shorts fitted to her thighs. She walked over to her coffee maker and picked up the mug that was sitting right next to it.
“How are you feeling?” I asked her.
“Pretty good. A little sore…” She said and shot me a glance. I chuckled at her words knowing that I was the reason why she was sore.
“That was not my intention.” I told her as I watched her stretch. My eyes were drinking in the full length of her body.
“No but it was mine.” She said and I let out another hum. She seemed to be a sexual woman. Something I wasn’t even aware of that I liked. Once her coffee was ready she came over to me and sat down next to me.
“How’d you sleep?” She asked me.
“Good. Like a rock.” I told her and she smiled against her coffee mug at me.
“You?” I returned the question.
“Very good.” She told me.
“Good… Good.” I told her. I had to look away from her hungry gaze.
“Can I ask you a question?” She asked me and I nodded.
“Where did you learn how to have sex like that?” She asked. I exhaled deeply trying to think of what to say but also I was surprised at her question.
“Was I bad?” I questioned.
“Not at all. That’s why I’m asking.” She told me and I raised a brow at her.
“You were expecting me to be bad?”
“No.” She laughed.
“I didn’t say that.” She said,
“That’s what it sounds like.” I told her, joining in on her laughs.
“You just come across as a boy scout... Most boy scouts don’t know their way around a woman’s body.” She told me. She was very direct with her words.
“Well most men don’t want to please their women either… And I’m very attentive to what you like.” I told her. I was getting uncomfortable with my words- With this conversation.
“Okay.” She said. She took a sip of her coffee and didn’t say anything else.
“Okay?” I questioned and she nodded. I gave her a confused look.
“I’m waiting for you to feel less awkward so I can ask you more questions.” She told me. I shook my head in amazement that she yet again proved that she knew me better than I knew myself. I could be as attentive to her all I wanted but she already had me figured out. I reached down grabbing one of the legs of the chair she was sitting in and pulled directly in front of me. I took mental note of the giggles that came out of her as I moved her. I liked the sound and knew I would want to make her do that again. I placed my hand on her neck just as I did last night. I stared into her brown eyes, which seemed lighter and full of life this morning.
“I love that you understand me.” I told her.
“Of course I do, Lover. You’re one of my people.” She told me. I closed my eyes, feeling her hand brush against my cheek. It was nice knowing that she cared about me. Cared about me at least the same amount as she did for her friends. No- she cared about me more than that. She made that clear last night. And from the way she was touching me today I knew that was true.
“I should have asked you this last night before…” I trailed off as I looked down from her gaze then returned to it.
(Insert ‘Talk’ by Hozier)
“Would you like to go steady with me?” I asked her. I watched as her eyes lit up at my words.
“I would like nothing more.” She told me. I dropped my hand from her neck and wrapped my arm around her waist pulling her on top of me. I couldn’t help the boyish grin that came to my face. She matched my smile before she pressed her lips to mine. I groaned as I felt her hips settle against mine and I felt her hand smooth out my hair. It didn’t take long for kisses to get hot and heavy. Raven reached down and pulled my shirt off and then I did the same to her top. I placed kisses to her bare chest listening to the sounds of her moans as I kissed her nipples. I let my tongue glide against them when I heard her breath hitch in her throat, letting me know that she liked that. I could feel the blood rushing down and filling my dick the more she moaned. I gripped her hips tightly as she started to roll her hips on me.
“Off.” She ordered as she stood up pushing her shorts down to the ground and stepped out of them. I did as she told and removed my boxers. I looked up at her reaching for her hips as she straddled me. I thought back to last night and how perfectly at bliss she was when I took control of the motions. I lifted her up with ease and hovered her above my fully erect cock. I closed my eyes as I lowered her down to me. A shiver crawled over my skin and I heard her long drawn out moan. I lifted her back up and lowered again, hissing at how wet and tight her core was.
“Fuck me, lover boy” She instructed. A growl came from me as I stood up.
“Yes ma’am” I placed both of my hands on her ass and walked us over to the nearby wall in the kitchen. I thrusted my hips up into her over and over again. My grunts mixing with her moans. I looked up at her face to see her head leaned back against the wall, her lips part and her eyes closed; Her hand squeezing the back of my neck letting me know she was close. I wanted nothing more than to please her. To feel wall her walls tighten around me again.
“Yes, Sweetheart.” I rasped out feeling how tight she was getting. She was seconds away from her bliss. I groaned at her tightness and how it was bringing me closer to my release. I could feel myself throbbing inside of her as Raven gave my neck a tight squeeze.
“Yes… Yes…Steve!” She moaned out as her core constricted against me letting me know she came.
“Fuck.” I whispered out. I couldn’t explain the pride I felt knowing I was able to make her come. Her sweet moans flowed out of her as I thrusted through her orgasm. My hands gripped her ass as I gave her two more strokes before I felt myself explode. I let out a deep breath, breathing heavily as I came in her. I leaned my head against Raven’s chest listening to her gasping for air just like I was. Her hand went back to smoothing out my hair as she hummed in delight.
“If that’s the main perk of your lady then I’m never leaving.” She joked and I chuckled against her skin. I slowly pulled out of her and sat her back down on her feet. I kissed the top of her head then walked over to grab my underwear. We got dressed in silence. I looked out into the back yard seeing that the sun had fully made its appearance.
“I like when you tell me what to do.” I told her. Surprised that I admitted that to her.
“Hmm. I like doing that.” Raven said, kissing my back. I watched as she walked over to the back door and let the dogs in. They walked in one by one and went to their water bowl. I made my way to the stairs and Raven followed behind.
“Are you changing before the meeting?” She asked from the bathroom.
“Uh. I’m not sure.” I told her. If I changed I would have to go back to the compound and if I did that then I would have to face Nat. I’m sure she already had her theories. She probably was sitting at the table waiting for me to walk in. I would probably be better to get it over with instead of just avoiding her. She would pick up on to that and would only tease me more.
“I might go back home and change before the meeting.”I told Raven. I could hear the shower turn on as I stood in her bedroom.
“Okay.” She called out from the bathroom.
“I’ll see you at the meeting then?” She questioned. I waited a moment before I answered and I took a seat at the edge of her bed.
“We could go together.”I said. I looked over when I saw her stick her head out of the doorway of the bathroom. I chuckled seeing the shocked expression on her face.
"You sure?" She asked,
“Yeah. Why not?” I told her shrugging my shoulders.
“I did ask you to go steady, didn’t I?” I asked and she just stared at me. Her lips turned into her sweet smile.
“Yeah… You did.” She said,
“Okay.” She repeated, before she disappeared back into the bathroom. I let out a sigh as I closed my eyes as memories flooded my brain reminding me of the loss we took. How brutal that battle was. How we put everything on the line and it still wasn’t good enough. I took in a deep breath as the scent of coconuts filled the air. Raven immediately popped into my head. I let a hum come out of me as I thought about her smile and how she made me feel. She was a distraction from my thoughts. It was a nice change of pace to be living the life that I was in right now. I could let myself get lost in the idea of playing house with Raven. It made everything else seem so insignificant. I finally understood what Natasha had been picking up on the last couple months that I had known Raven. I let myself think and speak about her more and more each week because it was better than to think about the reality that we were in.
“We’re taking my car.” Raven said as she walked into the bedroom. Her frame was wrapped in a white towel. Her curly hair was wet and it fell down her back.
“You don’t want to ride on my motorcycle?”I questioned as my eyes took in the full length of her body.
“I would actually be fine with that.” She told me with a laugh. I looked away as she started to get dressed.
“I’m going to bring Sugar… I think I’ll need the extra support.” She told me. I couldn’t help put to rack my mind thinking of all the little details she had told me about her life to see if today held any importance to her.
“I’m nervous.” She said.
“About what?” I asked.
“Flashing our relationship in the group’s face… I don’t want any of them to feel… I dunno jealous?” She said. I looked over at her. She was partially dressed, only missing a shirt. She was squeezing her hair with her towel.
“Jealous? Is there someone else in the group that wants to date me?” I asked and she rolled her eyes at me.
“Oh I’m sure there is. But I meant jealous that we’re moving on… While they’re still struggling. Still trying to find a slice of happiness in this world.” She told me. I don’t think there would ever be a time when I wouldn't be amazed at how kind her heart was. She cared for those people probably more than I did. I pushed myself off her bed and walked over to her. I placed my hands on her arms, rubbing up and down them slowly and gently. I looked down at her and she matched my gaze. Her mouth was twisted as she chewed the inside of her cheek.
“Then we won’t.” I told her and she nodded.
“I don’t want to change how things are… So I’ll still sit next to David and I’ll still come up to you after the meeting and…” She trailed off.
“I’ll stick around until the last person leaves and put the chairs up.” I told her. I could feel her body start to relax in my hands.
“Right. We’ll just act normal.” She said and I nodded at her words.
Summary: Almost two years after the fight with Thanos Steve starts putting on meetings to help people who have lost someone. After doubting his feelings for Raven, Steve has now realized his feelings for her. This is the morning after they spent their first night together.
Warnings: Little Fluff, Little Smut
Word Count: 3.2K
Author Notes: Still some spice in there for y'all ;)
Let me know what y'all think :3 Feedback is very much appreciated!
If you would like to listen along with the story here's the Spotify Playlist
A Second Chance Masterlist
Chapter 8
Steve’s POV
Just like last night the sun started to slowly creep into the room. I opened my eyes to stare up at the ceiling. My eyes darted around the room noticing the emerald green painted walls. I let my gaze wander around her room, noticing the gold colored accents she had on the walls and the large black and white photo she had of the forest. Hearing a rustle in the bed I looked over to see Raven tangled in her white sheets. She was laying on her stomach, her hair sprawled along her pillow. A small smile came to my lips seeing her like that. I naturally slid closer to her, placing a kiss on her shoulder. I stilled worried that I woke her as she reached over and placed her hand on my chest. I let myself breathe again once I knew I hadn’t woken her. Even in her sleep she was a touchy person. I went back to looking around her room. This time I noticed her plants that were in front of her window. I held in a chuckle seeing them. Of course she had plants in here too. I looked at the wall to ceiling bookshelf she had that was full of books and large crystals.
Her dark wood dresser had pictures of her dogs and one of her family. I let out a soft sigh as I studied the photo. She looked completely different in the photo; she seemed truly happy. She was younger and her family was whole. I could tell by her smile that it was photo taken before she met her ex boyfriend. It saddened me that I could see the difference in her smile from the photos she had in her office to this one. I couldn’t help but to wonder what she was like back then. I’m sure she was still just as kind and thoughtful. My eyes shifted back at her and another smile came to me. My mind brought on flashes from last night. I closed my eyes, allowing the vivid images of Raven's skin on mine. Her kisses. How she looked underneath me… and how she looked on top of me. The feeling of her pulsing around me- I leaned down and placed another kiss on her shoulder. Half of me wanted to wake her up right now. I looked at her face and changed my mind. She looked so peaceful and relaxed. I couldn’t dare wake her even if I wanted to. This might have been the first time in a while that she slept peacefully.
Hearing a groan that wasn’t my own I sat up slightly to glance down at the foot of the bed. I saw one of Raven’s dogs, Hercules, stretched out below her feet. All of her dogs loved her but Hercules and Sugar appeared to love her the most. Regretfully I lifted up the covers and slid myself out of her touch. My eyes shifted to Hercules who popped his head up when he felt my movement. I placed my index finger over my lips giving him a silent shush. His golden eyes looked into mine before he lowered his head back down and let out a huff of air. I tried to walk as quietly as I could while I looked for my boxers and my shirt. Once I did I slipped into Raven’s bathroom. The color scheme of her room seemed to follow into her bathroom. While I was watching my hands I noticed the hand written words on her mirror.
“What is grief, if not love preserving.” I read. I wondered how often she read those words, how often she said them, how often they got her through the day. Opening the bathroom door I was greeted by another dog. I chuckled seeing Phoenix’ docked tail wagging at me.
“Morning.” I hushed out and he stretched at me in response. Honey trotted over to me and I instantly looked over at Raven to make sure they didn’t wake up. She seemed like she was still sleeping peacefully. She was probably used to their sounds. It wasn't until I saw Sugar walk through the open bedroom door that I got the message that they wanted to go outside. I smiled and shook my head letting them show me out of the room and down the stairs to the back door. I wasn’t quite ready to leave her in bed by herself but I’d rather her sleep in then to wake up because of me.
I wandered around her kitchen opening up the cabinet until I found the coffee mugs. I placed it underneath her keurig. I looked outside seeing her dogs running around. It reminded me that I should be going on a run this morning.
“I can skip it.” I said to myself. I took my coffee to the table in the kitchen. I kept my eyes focused on the dogs while they were outside while also watching the sun rise. I stilled as I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Then I smiled as I heard those footsteps getting closer to me until they reached me.
Feeling her hands touch the top of my shoulders and then slide down to my chest as she hugged me from behind I let out a deep breath feeling her hands on me.
“What are you doing up, Lover?” She asked me. She placed a kiss on my cheek and I leaned back into her embrace. A smirk came to my lips replacing my smile when I heard the name she called me.
“I’m normally up this early to go for a run.” I told her.
“Why are you up?” I asked her. I picked up one of her hands and brought it to my lips so I could kiss the back of her hand.
“My bed felt lonely...” She told me and I chuckled, shaking my head.
“That’s my fault. I let the dogs out when I got up. I was trying to keep them from waking you up.” Raven placed another kiss on my cheek and took in a deep breath.
“No, they just tricked you into letting them out.” She said kissing me with another kiss on my cheek. Her arms gave me a squeeze.
“I could give you a work out if you wanted…” She whispered out. A shiver ran down my spine as I felt her warm lips on my neck.
“I might take you up on that offer.” I told her.
“Thank you for letting my dogs out.” She told me as she pulled away from me. I watched as she walked into the kitchen. She was wearing a light blue pajama set. I made a subtle hum seeing how her shorts fitted to her thighs. She walked over to her coffee maker and picked up the mug that was sitting right next to it.
“How are you feeling?” I asked her.
“Pretty good. A little sore…” She said and shot me a glance. I chuckled at her words knowing that I was the reason why she was sore.
“That was not my intention.” I told her as I watched her stretch. My eyes were drinking in the full length of her body.
“No but it was mine.” She said and I let out another hum. She seemed to be a sexual woman. Something I wasn’t even aware of that I liked. Once her coffee was ready she came over to me and sat down next to me.
“How’d you sleep?” She asked me.
“Good. Like a rock.” I told her and she smiled against her coffee mug at me.
“You?” I returned the question.
“Very good.” She told me.
“Good… Good.” I told her. I had to look away from her hungry gaze.
“Can I ask you a question?” She asked me and I nodded.
“Where did you learn how to have sex like that?” She asked. I exhaled deeply trying to think of what to say but also I was surprised at her question.
“Was I bad?” I questioned.
“Not at all. That’s why I’m asking.” She told me and I raised a brow at her.
“You were expecting me to be bad?”
“No.” She laughed.
“I didn’t say that.” She said,
“That’s what it sounds like.” I told her, joining in on her laughs.
“You just come across as a boy scout... Most boy scouts don’t know their way around a woman’s body.” She told me. She was very direct with her words.
“Well most men don’t want to please their women either… And I’m very attentive to what you like.” I told her. I was getting uncomfortable with my words- With this conversation.
“Okay.” She said. She took a sip of her coffee and didn’t say anything else.
“Okay?” I questioned and she nodded. I gave her a confused look.
“I’m waiting for you to feel less awkward so I can ask you more questions.” She told me. I shook my head in amazement that she yet again proved that she knew me better than I knew myself. I could be as attentive to her all I wanted but she already had me figured out. I reached down grabbing one of the legs of the chair she was sitting in and pulled directly in front of me. I took mental note of the giggles that came out of her as I moved her. I liked the sound and knew I would want to make her do that again. I placed my hand on her neck just as I did last night. I stared into her brown eyes, which seemed lighter and full of life this morning.
“I love that you understand me.” I told her.
“Of course I do, Lover. You’re one of my people.” She told me. I closed my eyes, feeling her hand brush against my cheek. It was nice knowing that she cared about me. Cared about me at least the same amount as she did for her friends. No- she cared about me more than that. She made that clear last night. And from the way she was touching me today I knew that was true.
“I should have asked you this last night before…” I trailed off as I looked down from her gaze then returned to it.
(Insert ‘Talk’ by Hozier)
“Would you like to go steady with me?” I asked her. I watched as her eyes lit up at my words.
“I would like nothing more.” She told me. I dropped my hand from her neck and wrapped my arm around her waist pulling her on top of me. I couldn’t help the boyish grin that came to my face. She matched my smile before she pressed her lips to mine. I groaned as I felt her hips settle against mine and I felt her hand smooth out my hair. It didn’t take long for kisses to get hot and heavy. Raven reached down and pulled my shirt off and then I did the same to her top. I placed kisses to her bare chest listening to the sounds of her moans as I kissed her nipples. I let my tongue glide against them when I heard her breath hitch in her throat, letting me know that she liked that. I could feel the blood rushing down and filling my dick the more she moaned. I gripped her hips tightly as she started to roll her hips on me.
“Off.” She ordered as she stood up pushing her shorts down to the ground and stepped out of them. I did as she told and removed my boxers. I looked up at her reaching for her hips as she straddled me. I thought back to last night and how perfectly at bliss she was when I took control of the motions. I lifted her up with ease and hovered her above my fully erect cock. I closed my eyes as I lowered her down to me. A shiver crawled over my skin and I heard her long drawn out moan. I lifted her back up and lowered again, hissing at how wet and tight her core was.
“Fuck me, lover boy” She instructed. A growl came from me as I stood up.
“Yes ma’am” I placed both of my hands on her ass and walked us over to the nearby wall in the kitchen. I thrusted my hips up into her over and over again. My grunts mixing with her moans. I looked up at her face to see her head leaned back against the wall, her lips part and her eyes closed; Her hand squeezing the back of my neck letting me know she was close. I wanted nothing more than to please her. To feel wall her walls tighten around me again.
“Yes, Sweetheart.” I rasped out feeling how tight she was getting. She was seconds away from her bliss. I groaned at her tightness and how it was bringing me closer to my release. I could feel myself throbbing inside of her as Raven gave my neck a tight squeeze.
“Yes… Yes…Steve!” She moaned out as her core constricted against me letting me know she came.
“Fuck.” I whispered out. I couldn’t explain the pride I felt knowing I was able to make her come. Her sweet moans flowed out of her as I thrusted through her orgasm. My hands gripped her ass as I gave her two more strokes before I felt myself explode. I let out a deep breath, breathing heavily as I came in her. I leaned my head against Raven’s chest listening to her gasping for air just like I was. Her hand went back to smoothing out my hair as she hummed in delight.
“If that’s the main perk of your lady then I’m never leaving.” She joked and I chuckled against her skin. I slowly pulled out of her and sat her back down on her feet. I kissed the top of her head then walked over to grab my underwear. We got dressed in silence. I looked out into the back yard seeing that the sun had fully made its appearance.
“I like when you tell me what to do.” I told her. Surprised that I admitted that to her.
“Hmm. I like doing that.” Raven said, kissing my back. I watched as she walked over to the back door and let the dogs in. They walked in one by one and went to their water bowl. I made my way to the stairs and Raven followed behind.
“Are you changing before the meeting?” She asked from the bathroom.
“Uh. I’m not sure.” I told her. If I changed I would have to go back to the compound and if I did that then I would have to face Nat. I’m sure she already had her theories. She probably was sitting at the table waiting for me to walk in. I would probably be better to get it over with instead of just avoiding her. She would pick up on to that and would only tease me more.
“I might go back home and change before the meeting.”I told Raven. I could hear the shower turn on as I stood in her bedroom.
“Okay.” She called out from the bathroom.
“I’ll see you at the meeting then?” She questioned. I waited a moment before I answered and I took a seat at the edge of her bed.
“We could go together.”I said. I looked over when I saw her stick her head out of the doorway of the bathroom. I chuckled seeing the shocked expression on her face.
"You sure?" She asked,
“Yeah. Why not?” I told her shrugging my shoulders.
“I did ask you to go steady, didn’t I?” I asked and she just stared at me. Her lips turned into her sweet smile.
“Yeah… You did.” She said,
“Okay.” She repeated, before she disappeared back into the bathroom. I let out a sigh as I closed my eyes as memories flooded my brain reminding me of the loss we took. How brutal that battle was. How we put everything on the line and it still wasn’t good enough. I took in a deep breath as the scent of coconuts filled the air. Raven immediately popped into my head. I let a hum come out of me as I thought about her smile and how she made me feel. She was a distraction from my thoughts. It was a nice change of pace to be living the life that I was in right now. I could let myself get lost in the idea of playing house with Raven. It made everything else seem so insignificant. I finally understood what Natasha had been picking up on the last couple months that I had known Raven. I let myself think and speak about her more and more each week because it was better than to think about the reality that we were in.
“We’re taking my car.” Raven said as she walked into the bedroom. Her frame was wrapped in a white towel. Her curly hair was wet and it fell down her back.
“You don’t want to ride on my motorcycle?”I questioned as my eyes took in the full length of her body.
“I would actually be fine with that.” She told me with a laugh. I looked away as she started to get dressed.
“I’m going to bring Sugar… I think I’ll need the extra support.” She told me. I couldn’t help put to rack my mind thinking of all the little details she had told me about her life to see if today held any importance to her.
“I’m nervous.” She said.
“About what?” I asked.
“Flashing our relationship in the group’s face… I don’t want any of them to feel… I dunno jealous?” She said. I looked over at her. She was partially dressed, only missing a shirt. She was squeezing her hair with her towel.
“Jealous? Is there someone else in the group that wants to date me?” I asked and she rolled her eyes at me.
“Oh I’m sure there is. But I meant jealous that we’re moving on… While they’re still struggling. Still trying to find a slice of happiness in this world.” She told me. I don’t think there would ever be a time when I wouldn't be amazed at how kind her heart was. She cared for those people probably more than I did. I pushed myself off her bed and walked over to her. I placed my hands on her arms, rubbing up and down them slowly and gently. I looked down at her and she matched my gaze. Her mouth was twisted as she chewed the inside of her cheek.
“Then we won’t.” I told her and she nodded.
“I don’t want to change how things are… So I’ll still sit next to David and I’ll still come up to you after the meeting and…” She trailed off.
“I’ll stick around until the last person leaves and put the chairs up.” I told her. I could feel her body start to relax in my hands.
“Right. We’ll just act normal.” She said and I nodded at her words.
Summary: Almost two years after the fight with Thanos Steve starts putting on meetings to help people who have lost someone. After doubting his feelings for Raven, Steve has now realized his feelings for her. This is the first night that they share together.
Warnings: SMUTTTT!!!! Little Fluff
Word Count: 3K
Author Notes: I promised y'all that this slow burn would turn up the heat!! I put in Raven's POV for all of the juicy details ;)
Let me know what y'all think :3 Feedback is very much appreciated!
If you would like to listen along with the story here's the Spotify Playlist
A Second Chance Masterlist
Chapter 7
Raven’s POV
(Insert ‘Monsters of the Sky’ by Stereo Alchemy)
“What do you want?” I asked Steve. I was being very bold exposing myself to him like this. I was never one to willing take my clothes off for a man. But knowing Steve he needed the extra push. I watched as he pulled his white shirt off and tossed it aside.
“I want to kiss every inch of you.” I took in a slow breath hearing his words. Immediately I could feel the heat between my legs; The slickness seeping out of my core as I looked at him. He really did look like he could have been made out of marble. Every muscle was extremely chiseled and defined. The light from the moon didn’t help with how much he looked like a greek god. I held my breath as he made his way over to me. I was inches away from his face when he lowered himself to me. Placing hands on both sides of my thighs.
“I want to make love to you.” He told me. I shivered at his words. I could feel my sex pounding with anticipation. I pushed myself up on the bed making my way towards my pillows as he crawled on top of me. His eyes were dark and full of lust just like they were when we were making out downstairs. My legs naturally parted for him to lay in between. His lips found mine once again. He kissed me so gently and tenderly almost if he was trying not to hurt me. My hands went to his sides before they slid to his back as we kissed. I parted my lips to lick his bottom lip. I smiled against him when I heard him groan. I was starting to like that sound. His tongue tapped my lips asking for permission to enter my mouth and I gave it to him. Our tongues tangled against each other. I shivered once more feeling his hand slide over my skin. I was barely used to his hand holding mine- feeling his hand on my bare skin was something completely different. I could feel a trail of heat wherever his hand touched me. My breath hitched in the back of my throat when his hand cupped my core.
“Okay?” He whispered out and I nodded in response. His lips went to my neck and I turned my head to the side letting him have full access to it. I let out a quiet moan feeling his hand run up and down my core- teasing me. I slide my hands down from his back to his hips and finally to the front of his jeans. I swallowed hard feeling the thick imprint that was in his pants.. Of course he had a huge dick. Why wouldn’t he? A smirk came to my lips hearing him groan against my neck as I stroked his imprint. My fingers unzipped his jeans, pushing them down as far as I could.
“Take those off.” I told him.
“Yes Ma’am.” He said in response before he sat up and removed his jeans. I looked up at him biting my lip seeing his large bulge inside of his boxers. There was something satisfying about knowing that I did that to him.
“Come back to me.” I whispered out and he fell right back on top of me. He really was the perfect soldier. A moan escaped me again just at the thought of him doing exactly what I wanted him too. It had been awhile since I’ve had sex with a man that was in it for pleasing me and not just to get his self off. I could tell by the way that Steve’s lips were attacking mine that he wanted to please me. I slid out of my lace bra for him, arching my back as his lips found my chest. He groaned against my skin hearing my moan. I shivered feeling his lips graze my nipple.
“You like that, Sweetheart?” Steve rasped out. Fuck I could have came just from hearing his voice. Why was his sex voice so fucking sexy…
“Yes…” I whispered out. He took my nipple into my mouth, flicking it with his tongue. My hand started to stroke his cock through his boxers letting him know that I liked what he was doing. Steve kissed across my breasts until he reached my other nipple and brought it into his mouth again. Flickering his tongue all over it until I let out another moan.
His hand slid inside of panties cupping my core once more. I thrusted my hips, pressing my sex against his hand. He groaned at my action and a smirk came to my lips. Steve removed his hand from me to grab the sides of my panties to pull them down and then off. I shivered at how I was completely naked underneath him. I bit down on my bottom lip waiting for him to touch me.
“You’re so beautiful, Sweetheart.” He hushed out. Steve pressed his lips back to mine. I kissed him, moving my lips against his. His tongue danced on my bottom lip. I gasped feeling Steve slide a finger into my warm slick sex. My back arched instantly as he pulled that finger out. His fingers rubbed my clit for a few moments causing moan after moan to escape me. His lips went back to my neck as he dipped his finger back into my core then pulled his finger out dangerously slow. I could feel just how wet I was based on how wet his finger was. I bit my lip hard knowing that I was dripping wet for him… because of him. I could feel a sweet pressure building up in my lower stomach. Steve made his way back up to my lips giving me soft pecks before he crashed his lips to mine. I started to sway my hips matching the circles his fingers were doing on my clit. Steve left me panting for air as he finally took his lips away from mine to go back to kissing my neck.
“Steve…” I whispered out knowing I was getting dangerously close to cumming. He slowed down the circles his fingers were making on my clit before he slid that same finger into me again. I gasped again feeling him add a second finger. I could feel how tight my walls were around his fingers, clenching against him as he pushed and pulled his fingers in and out of me.
“You’re so wet, Sweetheart.” He told me. I moaned again at his words. I loved that he called me sweetheart. I loved the feeling of being at his mercy. My hips started to ride his hand trying to get myself to my release that I was so close to getting to.
“Let me do that.” He said against my neck. I stilled my hips and panted for air, throwing my head back against my pillow. I whined as he pulled his fingers away from my pussy. Steve’s lips traveled down my neck to my chest. He stopped at my breasts planting kisses on them and licking both of my nipples once more. He then started to kiss down my body stopping to plant a kiss on my belly button. He then stopped once his face was in front of my core. I held my breath in anticipation as I felt his warm breath on my sex. He kissed the inside of my thigh trailing his kisses down until he got to my dripping core.
"Tell me what you like, Sweetheart." He told me. I gasped and lifted my hips feeling his tongue licking at my lips before he placed a kiss. He licked from my entrance up to my clit and then back down. He stopped for a moment before he began again.
“Right there…” I whispered and he stopped his tongue right at my pulsing clit. I rolled my hips to him begging him to continue. Slowly he traced his tongue around my clit. My hips instinctively rolled towards his face. I heard him chuckle before he danced his tongue around my clit perfectly. The pressure in my lower stomach was growing more and more by the second.
“Steve…”I panted out and he groaned against me. Slowly he slid his finger into me. Pumping it in and out to match my breath. My hands went to his hair holding his head in place as I grew closer to my climax.
“Faster…” I whispered out. He did just as I said and started to flick my clit with his tongue.
“Yes…” I panted out. I was so close; I felt as if I was standing on the edge of my climax just needing to be pushed.
“St- Steve… ” I moaned out before my breath was caught in my throat. Steve added a second finger into me stretching me out as my core started to throb and constrict around his fingers. My grip in his hair tightened as I screamed out feeling the sweet pressure of climax
“Fuck… Steve!” I cried out as my orgasm took over. The walls of my core clenching then throbbing around his fingers. My back arching then falling as I started to relax. I let go of his hair and brought my hand to my forehead pushing my hair out of my face. Steve pulled his fingers out of me and positioned himself above me. I reached up, grabbing his face in my hands and planted soft pecks to his lips.
“Was that alright?” He asked me and I nodded, stretching my legs out.
“That was amazing.” I told him. I noticed the proudful grin on his face and I raised a brow at him.
“Don’t tell me that was your first time?” I asked him and he just looked up at me giving me my answer. I shook my head at him matching his chuckle that he gave me.
“Of course you’re good at that.” I told him. Placing kisses on his lips again. My kisses got longer and longer after each one. My hunger for him wasn’t fully satisfied. With feeling his bulge on my thigh I wanted to see what he was hiding in his boxers. Steve placed his hand next to my head holding himself up and he lowered his waist on me.
“How do you want me?” I asked him, feeling that he was pretty hard against my thigh.
“On top.” He breathed out.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” He said, placing a sweet kiss to my lips. I kissed him back as we rolled over switching positions. I crawled down him to pull off his boxers. I swallowed seeing his dick fully erect. I placed my hand on it and smiled when I heard Steve suck in a breath. I licked the length of his cock and then slid it into my mouth to wet it before I sat on it.
“Shit.” Steve mumbled. I bobbed my head up and down as I slid my mouth on him wrapping my tongue around the tip of his cock. I could hear his breaths become heavy. I moaned softly against his cock tasting the saltiness of his precum.
“Raven...” I heard him say and I took him out of my mouth. I looked up at him as I felt his fingertips stroke my side. I climbed on top of him. I leaned into his hand that he placed on my cheek. I closed my eyes as he slid his hand to the back of my neck and pulled me to him. He placed a peck to my lips and I returned it. He was so sweet and tender. I was expecting him to be more aggressive and animalistic but he wasn’t at all. He let go of neck and I positioned myself over his hips. I wasn’t quite sure that I could take all of his long thick cock but I was going to try. I hovered my sex over him and then grabbed his dick in my hand to guide it into my wet core before I slowly lowered myself onto him. I hissed out how tight I was and how much his cock was stretching me out.
“Fuck…” Steve hissed out and I looked at his face hearing his words. I had never heard him say that word before but I instantly knew that I wanted to make him say it again. I studied his face as I lowered myself on him. He was biting down on his lip pretty hard and his hands had fistfulls of the comforter. I raised my hips back up before I slid back down him again. Once I got a comfortable amount of cock in me and I grabbed his hands.
“Relax...” I whispered to him as I stared into those beautiful blue eyes of his. I raised my hips again and I felt him jerk under me. He was close already. I smirked at how tight he closed his eyes. I leaned forward, placing a kiss on his cheek.
“Breathe...” I told him and he did as he was told. He slid his fingers inbetween mine and squeezed my hands.
“You feel so good…” He told me and I nudged his cheek as I rode him. I was happy that he was close because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep this. I let out a moan feeling his cock starting to throb in me. I started to get into a grove of raising and lowering my hips over and over.
“Fuck.” I hushed out feeling that same building pressure in my lower stomach
“Raven.” Steve said as he let go of one my hands and grabbed my hip. I let go of his other hand allowing him to hold my waist in his hands. I let out another moan and closed my eyes enjoying the feeling of his cock filling me completely. I could the tip of his dick knocking at my cervix. My breathing was turning more into pants as I rode him, climbing to my high. I opened my eyes to see Steve underneath me, his eyes closed and lips parted. His brows were pushed together as if he was trying his hardest not to cum before me. I could tell that my thighs were beginning to shake and give up on me. I never realized how wide his hips were until I was on top of them.
“Move me.” I told Steve. His eyes sprung open. He looked at me and I nodded my head at him.
“Please.” I whispered out.
“Use me.” I told him and he squeezed both sides of my hips. I let out a breath as I felt him lift my hips with ease and then lower them. He started guiding my hips in the movement he wanted. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes feeling my high just around the corner. I loved the feeling of Steve lifting and lowering my hips with such ease. I loved the feeling of not having to do anything besides enjoy my second wave of pleasure. Each natural ridge of his cock rubbed me perfectly, sending me that much closer to the edge. I parted my lips as a familiar pressure started to build in my lower stomach again. I shivered hearing his grunts as he started to move my hips faster and faster matching the pace of my pants.
“Steve…” I moaned out knowing I was only seconds away from cumming.
“Oh...I know, Sweetheart.” He said to me as he gripped my hips even tighter. My breath hitched in my throat as I felt myself explode and my walls clench around his throbbing cock.
“Fuck” Steve said. Letting out a deep groan as he hit his release. He slowly stilled my hips as he filled me with his load. We were both left breathless- gasping for air. I slid my hand up from his stomach to his chest as a small smile came to lips.
“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered out. I could tell by the tone in his voice that he was back to the same Steve that I was growing to love. I could feel heat crawling over my cheeks hearing his words.
“You are also beautiful.” I told him. I heard him chuckle before he grabbed me and pulled my towards him. I hissed as he slid out of my now sore core.
“You okay?” He asked me as he held my face in his hands. His ocean blue eyes scanned my face and I let a light laugh escape me.
“I’m okay…” I told.
“I’m just sore is all. I’m okay.” I told him again as I watched the look of concern wash away from his face. He placed a peck to my lips and I gave him one back.
“Are you okay?” I asked him and he chuckled at my words. I placed my hand on his chest feeling the vibrations from his chuckle.
“I’m more than okay.” He told me and I turned my head to kiss his palm.
“I’m glad.” I told. I moved out of his grasp to go to my bathroom.
“You can stay the night if you’d like.” I told him from the bathroom. I had never wanted to be around anyone as much as I wanted to be around Steve. He made me question every interaction that I had with a man that wasn’t a friend or my brother.
“I would love to.” He responded. When I walked back into the room I bit my lip as he helped me take the decorative pillows off the bed. I couldn't help but to look how muscular he was. It was different than seeing him in clothes. It was almost better. I let a hum come out of my mouth as I thought about letting him have his way with me again. I pulled the covers back before slipping underneath them. I laid on my side of the bed and looked over at Steve who was already looking at me. He motioned his head at me and I raised a brow at him.
“Come here.” He whispered to me and I slid over to him. He lifted up his arm for me to lay next to him. I laid my head on his chest nuzzling against his skin as I felt his hand stroke my arm. He took a deep breath in and I smiled while my hand smoothed out his chest. I let out another hum feeling him kiss my head. I liked that we didn’t have to exchange words all the time. That he was perfectly content with sitting in silence with me. I was also amazed with how gentle he had been with me from the very beginning. He had been so patient and slow. I was starting to believe that he may be the first person that wasn’t going to break me. At least I hoped because I didn’t know if I would be able to pick the pieces back up this time.
Prompt: Almost two years after the fight with Thanos Steve starts putting on meetings to help people who have lost someone. After doubting his feelings for Raven, Steve has now realized his feelings for her.
Warnings: Little Fluff, SPICY ;) Light Smut
Word Count: 3.8K
Author Notes: Dear God Spicy Steve is SEXY...
This is a Slow Burn so it’ll be a few chapters before the juicy stuff ;)
Let me know what y'all think :3 Feedback is very much appreciated!
If you would like to listen along with the story here's the Spotify Playlist
A Second Chance Masterlist
Chapter 6
This was my fourth time being at Raven’s home. And the fourth day in a row that I spent with her. I simply couldn’t get enough of her. My tolerance for being lonely was low since I had been allowing myself to be in Raven’s presence. It helped that she was also lonely and it seemed like she also didn’t want to be anymore either. I was enjoying my time being around her. I felt at peace and like myself again. I didn’t even realize that I had lost myself over the years. I was up tight, and didn't know what fun was anymore. Something told me that Raven was the same way. It was hard for me to get close to someone without them sharing the same life experiences that I had. But why was that so important to me? No one was going to have the exact same experiences as I did. They couldn’t. But Raven had an old soul. She was wise beyond her years and there was something in her eyes that said she understood what I had been through and then some. I let out a small puff of air as I watched her stand in front of the stove. She was putting different spices and seasonings in the dish she was making. She was still in her navy blue scrubs but she had changed her sneakers out for her black fluffy house shoes. She had taken her hair out of its ponytail and let it fall down her back. She was so beautiful it almost hurt. A smile came to me as I listened to her tell me how her mother taught her how to make this dish and how this was her brother’s favorite thing that she cooked. I couldn’t lie even if I wanted to; I was completely smitten with her.
“How does this taste?” Raven asked me as she lifted up a spoon to my lips. I blew on it seeing the steam coming off of the liquid. My eyebrows raised in shock as my tastebuds were attacked with flavor. I had practically been standing here the whole time she made it and I couldn’t believe the amount of flavor it had.
“Wow.” I finally said. I smiled seeing the prideful grin that was on her face.
“You like it?” She asked me and I nodded in response.
“Raven, that’s… Wow.” Was all I managed to get out.
“What’s that called again?” I asked her.
“Gumbo.” She said.
“Wow.” I said again and she laughed. I laughed along with her. I looked around her living room and my eyes landed on her record player. My mind went back to when we danced in the middle of the room. It had been a long time coming- that dance. My heart seemed at peace with it.
“Mind if I play something?” I asked her.
“Of course not.” She told me. I felt her hand grab my arm and squeeze it before she let it go. I liked that she was a physical contact person. She was always grabbing my arm or leaning against me. I hadn’t been comfortable enough with someone to allow them to do that. Seeing how she interacted with her friends at the meetings she was always like that. She was always hugging David. She always had a hand on Abel’s back when he got emotional.
I made my way to the record player and lifted up the glass top. I naturally wanted to pick a record that I was familiar with. I looked back at Raven and remembered a song that came on at her clinic that I told her I liked. I started flipping through the albums looking for the right one.
“What was the name of that guy who sang that song I liked the other day?” I asked her. She really did have so many records. The book shelf was from the floor to the ceiling and was about 10 feet wide. Most of these artists I hadn’t even heard of.
“Bon Jovi… The Police…Nirvana…” I mumbled to myself.
“Oh… um Hozier!” She told me from the kitchen.
“Middle shelf, left side. That’s the Indie Alternative section.” She said.
“Indie Alternative?” I questioned under my breath.
“The 1975… Arctic Monkeys…Cigirattes after Sex…” My eyes popped with that last band name. I understood the meaning but it was bold. I continued to read the titles until I found Hozier. I took it out of its sleeve and placed it on the player then put the needle down on the record.
(Insert ‘Wasteland Baby‘ by Hozier)
“You weren’t kidding when you said you were musically cultured.” I told her, walking back into the kitchen.
“No I wasn’t.” She said with a laugh. She met me halfway and stopped right in front of me. Looking up at me with a smile.
“What even is an Arctic Monkey?” I asked her, smiling wide hearing the laughs that came out of her.
“They’re a British band.” She told me and I raised a brow questioning her words.
“Are you sure? That doesn’t make much sense.” I told her laughing along with her.
“Didn’t you just tell me last night that you get weekly reports from a talking raccoon? But the band title doesn’t make sense?” She questioned me. She had one of her eyebrows raised at me and smirk on her lips as if she had won the conversation.
“Yes… I guess you have me there.” I said. My hands found a way to hers holding them allowing my fingers to separate as she snaked her fingers in between mine. I looked down at our hands before I looked back at her.
“You’re very comfortable with touch,”I told her.
“It’s one of my love languages.” She responded.
“You’re what?” I asked. She gave me another laugh and shook her head.
“The five languages of love. There's physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time and gift giving. It’s very important to understand your partner’s love languages.” She told me. I couldn’t help but look confused.
“And it’s important how?”
“To understand how they give and receive love.” She told me. I nodded trying to wrap my head around the idea.
“And what are yours?” I asked her.
“Why do you want to know?” She asked me. I stared into her eyes hoping she would understand the reason by the look I was giving. I wanted to make sure that she understood that I cared about her. That I wanted to please her and ensure that she was happy. If love languages were important to her then it was important to me. But how was I going to word that. I couldn’t just come out and say that.
“Because I need an example of what you mean.” I told her instead of the inner monolog I had going on.
“In that case, mine are physical touch and words of affirmation.” She told me and I nodded, acting like I understood what she was talking about. She saw right through me and shook her head with a small laugh.
“Meaning I show love through physical touch. Platonically it could be just as simple as a hug, or a pat, a squeeze. Then romantically like… “ She told me. I was questioning if she truly did only think of me as a platonic friendship. She did all of those to me. She always had. I could vividly remember all of the taps she gave me and the bumps. She did the same thing to David and Abel. She looked down at our hands then back up at me. My heart squeezed when she mentioned what her love language would look like romantically.
“Holding hands…Kissing… skin to skin contact…” She whispered out and I held back a groan that I so desperately wanted to let out. I was usually good at holding back my desires and my sexual needs. But damn did she make it hard.
“Is that so?” I asked her and she nodded at me. Her bottom lip was brought into her mouth by her teeth. It suddenly felt hot in the room. I knew the stove and the oven was on but this was different. My urge to grab her by her waist and pull to me while I kissed her was growing strong. The grip that I had over my manners started to come back and the heatwave that just hit me was starting to fade.
“And what does words of affirmation mean to you?” I asked her. She released her lip from her teeth and lord help me did I want to take that lip in mine.
“That’s how I receive love. I like when people tell me how they feel. If I’m important to them. If they love me... What they want.… I like directness.” She told me. Her voice broke when she took in a breath before she said ‘what they want’. You want me to tell you what I want to do to you, sweetheart? I thought to myself. I had to clear my throat and take a step back. I didn’t know where that voice in my head came from. I couldn’t remember the last time that I was this worked up. I don’t think I had ever been this close to losing it.
“What are mine?” I asked her. Trying to distract myself from my thoughts. Raven let go of my hands and walked back over to the stove to check on her dish.
“I’m still trying to figure that out.” She told me.
"Acts of service is how you show love for sure. I mean the whole hero thing kind of gives that one away.” She said walking back over to me.
“And you are a man, so naturally physical touch should be one of them but I’m starting to think you receive love by quality time.” She told me. I did like touching her. But I did enjoy spending time with her more. I once again started to wonder how she was starting to know me better than I knew myself.
“Okay those make sense.” I told her with a chuckle. I froze as she leaned up standing on the tips of her toes and pressed her lips to my cheek. I could feel that same desire build up as my body was hit by another heat wave. A warm tingly sensation started to crept down my happy trail. I suppressed another groan from coming out as my head was filled with so many ideas and images of how I wanted to worship her beautiful body. How I wanted to feel her skin on mine. Hear her voice cry out for me.
“I know.” She whispered into my ear. A shiver crawled down my spine.
“Dinners ready.” She told me as she walked away from me. I normally fought myself to look away from her while walked away but this time I let myself look at the way her hips swayed while she walked. I never noticed how her scrub bottoms hugged the lower half of body. Was her ass always that plump? I looked down for a moment, chuckling to myself knowing that I was starting to get hard.
I sat across from Raven at the round table she had in her kitchen. We ate in silence minus my commentary on how wonderful the meal was. She was an excellent cook. She hadn’t made me one thing yet that I didn’t like. I watched as she picked up her wine glass taking sips every now and then. I had my elbow rested on the table with my hand rubbing my chin watching her anytime she got up. My eyes raked her body, noticing every curve that I could through her work clothes. I also noticed that I made her nervous and bashful tonight. I loved seeing that red hue come to her cheeks anytime I complimented her. I figured out that she only gave me that sweet smile when I said something she liked. Whether that be something that I remembered that she told me or when I got something right. It was turning out to be my favorite look. I was getting the impression that I wasn't the only one who could feel the sexual tension in the air. I don't think I had ever seen Raven look at me the way she was tonight.
“Should I get going? I don’t want to keep you up late when you have work tomorrow.” I told her. She immediately shook her head and waved off my words.
“I’m always off on Wednesdays so you’re fine.” She told me.
“Why’s that?” I asked. It was odd that she would always be on in the middle of the week.
“For the meetings.” She said.
“Really?” I questioned.
“They’re important to me and sometimes it’s hard to go back to work after being around all of those emotions. Sometimes I feel drained afterwards.” She said. I knew exactly why she felt like that.
“It’s because of your siphon.” I told her. She raised one of her perfectly arched brows at me.
“My what?” She questioned.
“Your siphon. That’s what I call it..." I said, rubbing the back of my neck with my hand.
"You siphon people's pain and sadness when you’re around them… It makes people feel better.” I told her. Embarrassed that I admitted a theory that I had about her.
“You think I do that?” She asked and I nodded.
“You do it to me… You don’t even realize you’re doing it.” I told her. She gave me that sweet smile again and I wanted to melt. I wanted to touch her. Be closer to her than I was. She asked me to tell her some stories so I did. I told her about the time I fought ten men in an elevator by myself. She looked at me in disbelief as I explained what happened.
“You did not.” She said with a gasp when I told her that I jumped out of the elevator and fell 10 stories to the ground. I loved watching her expression when I told her about my life. She was so attentive to what I was saying. It was like nothing else mattered to her besides my words. When I saw her yawn I knew I had overstayed my welcome. I looked at the watch on my wrist and saw it was close to midnight. She had worked today and cooked me dinner. I imagined she was tired.
“I need to let you get to bed.” I told her pushing myself off the couch. I noticed a pout come to her lips before she sighed.
“Okay…” She said but I could tell she didn’t mean it.
“Thank you for dinner.” I told her as she walked me to the door.
“Of course. I missed cooking for two people.” She told me with a smile.
“Plus… I like having you around.” She said her eyes shifted to the floor before they met mine again.
“I like being around.” I told her as we stopped right in front of the door. She gave me that sweet smile that I was starting to love. I loved it even more knowing what it meant.
(Insert ‘Love is Love’ by Stereo Alchemy)
“Goodnight.” I told her as I leaned down to hug her. She met my embrace like she had many times before. She gave me a tight squeeze like she normally did and I breathed in the scent of her hair. I pulled away slowly letting my hands slide from her back to her waist. She looked up at me and I studied her face; Her perfectly arched brows, Her chocolate colored eyes. Her gorgeous caramel complexion. That sweet smile on her pink lips...
“Steve?” Raven whispered out. Her eyes were locked on mine. I moved my hand up to her neck slowly, rubbing my thumb along her jawline. My eyes darted down to her lips for a moment and then I looked back into her warm brown eyes.
“I really want to kiss you.” I told her. I kept my voice low. I watched as her eyes dilated at my words. I could feel her heart rate pick up underneath my palm. I couldn't deny the impulsive urge I had to crash my lips against hers and to wrap her body in my arms.
“Do you?”She asked me.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you since we danced.” I told her. I saw her lips part as she let out a shaky breath. Her eyes broke our gaze for only a moment before I was staring right back into those melted chocolate irises of hers. She leaned up and brushed her nose against mine. I held my breath as I felt her breath on my lips. I could feel another shiver crawling down my spine.
“Then do it,”She instructed me. I moved my hand to the back of her neck locking my fingers into her soft curly hair. I didn’t waste another second once she gave me permission. I pressed my lips against her plump ones and Raven pressed her lips back to mine moving her lips in sync with mine. I pulled away only slightly to take in a breath and Raven did the same. I snaked my free arm around her waist, closing the space that was between us. I let out a soft groan as her hand found the back of my neck, squeezing it as she pressed her body fully against mine. Our lips went crashing back to each other moving slowly; tenderly. We both took small breaths in between kisses.
I would have suffocated if that meant I got to keep kissing her. There had been so much tension growing between the two of us it was nice to release some of it. Slowly I walked her backwards until her back was against the wall. My hand that was placed on her neck was now on the wall beside her head. I groaned against her lips feeling her teeth take a hold of my bottom lip. I squeezed her hip and let out a deep chuckle hearing her moan in response. I didn’t break our lip lock until we were both panting for air. I opened my eyes to look at Raven. Her eyes were still closed. Her eyelashes casted a shadow on her cheeks. I watched her chest rise and fall as she tried to get her composure together. She leaned her head back against the wall and looked up at me. Those beautiful brown eyes looked hungry, I could only imagine what mine looked like. Her hands slid down to my hips pulling me towards her again. I leaned down and gave her lips a soft peck. She instantly kissed me back.
“I should go.” I told her and she nodded, her hands making their way back up to my chest. I could feel that same jolt travel down my happy trail into my groin. I shivered feeling Raven hike her leg up to my waist. My free hand instinctively grabbing her thigh and squeezing it. Raven's hands made their way up to my neck the same time she leaned forward and placed another peck to my lips. I let my body lean against hers, as our lips interlocked again. I ran my hand over her thigh roughly as we kissed. Feeling the thin fabric of her scrub pants under my palm. I could have easily ripped the fabric with my hands. My lips twitched into a smirk as I felt a pounding heartbeat like sensation on my dick. Is that... I thought to myself knowing that her core craved me just as much as I did for it. I waited until Raven ended our kiss this time. We were both breathless once again.
"I really should go." I repeated and again all she gave me was a nod. She leaned her head against the wall again and looked up at me bitting her bottom lip. My hand balled into a fist as I pressed my knuckles against the wall as I tried to show some type of self control. I didn’t want to leave though. I wanted to stay. I wanted to kiss every inch of her beautiful caramel complexion. I wanted to get lost with her… in her... I closed my eyes, pressing my forehead to hers. I could hear her words so clearly as if she was speaking them right now. “I like when people tell me what they want.”
“I want to stay Raven…”I whispered to her. Her hands found my cheeks and brought my face back down to hers. She gave me three pecks on my lips before she smoothed my cheek bones with her fingers. I opened my eyes to look into hers. They were soft, loving, needing.
“Please stay.” She whispered to me. With that I picked her up in one quick movement. Her legs wrapped around my waist as her arms did the same to my neck. One of her hands ran itself through my hair.
“My room is upstairs, second door on your right.” She told me, pressing her lips to my cheek and my neck. I took her instructions making my way to the stairs and up them until I reached her door. I gently pushed it open, walking into the room. I sat her down on the bed when I reached it. I took in a deep breath, my nervousness started to get to me. Making me regain some of my manners. I took one step back looking at her sitting on the edge of her bed staring up at me.
“We don’t have to do anything… If you’re not comfortable.” I told her. Instead of responding she pulled her uniform top up and over her head then tossed it to the side. Leaving her in a green lace bra that fit to her chest perfectly. I licked my lips knowing full well that this was one of most beautiful women I had ever laid my eyes on. The light the moon casted from her window only made it that much worse. Her skin almost seemed to glisten in the light.
“What are you comfortable with, Steve?” She asked me as she slid out of her pants revealing matching underwear to her bra.
“What do you want?” She asked me. I stood there staring at her body, feeling my heart pound in my chest. "This woman might just kill me" I thought to myself. I normally didn't let my inner thoughts come out of my mouth but this was different. The same voice that I heard in my head earlier came back; This time I didn’t stop it.
“I want to kiss every inch of you.” I told her as I pulled my shirt off and tossed it by hers. I heard her take a breath in as her eyes landed on my bare chest. I walked over to her and leaned down. I placed a hand on each side of her thick thighs. My eyes locked onto hers as I said,
Prompt: Almost two years after the fight with Thanos Steve starts putting on meetings to help people who have lost someone. After doubting his feelings for Raven Steve agrees to go on date with her. Steve ends up having a wonderful time with Raven and Natasha pressures him for the details. Later Steve makes the decision to go see Raven at work.
Warnings: Little Fluff, Mention of Cheating, Mention of a Shitty Ex, Mention of Gaslighting, Alluding to Abuse, Mention of a Parent's Death, Super Dialogue Heavy
Word Count: 3.8K
Author Notes: My favorite thing about the MCU will forever be Nat and Steve's constant banter. Raven explains her past and it could be a trigger for some people so just be careful loves
This is a Slow Burn so it’ll be a few chapters before the juicy stuff ;)
Let me know what y'all think :3 Feedback is very much appreciated.
If you would like to listen along with the story here's the Spotify Playlist
Chapter 5
On the drive home my mind couldn't get Raven out of it. I instantly knew that I was going to have a hard time sleeping. I should have kissed her, I thought to myself. I knew that I couldn't have because I would have been crossing a line as a Friend. I almost hated the word as I thought of it. I was becoming aware of the fact that I didn't want to just be Raven's friend. But at the end of the day if being her friend meant that I could still be in her presence then I would do it. I let out a sigh as I swung a leg off my motorcycle in the garage of the avengers compound.
"I should have kissed her." I said out loud as a heavy sigh came out of me.
I really was the master of taking too long with my feelings. Walking over to the door I let the security system scan my retinas before it unlocked the door for me. I made my way to my bedroom and switched on the light. I looked around my bedroom and how empty it looked compared to Raven's home. If anything I wanted to be back over there to be surrounded by the cozy feeling it gave off. Once I laid in bed I stared up at the ceiling knowing sleep wasn't going to greet me anytime soon.
"Friday?"I asked.
"Yes Mr. Rogers."She said instantly.
"Can you play some songs by Norah Jones?"I asked her. My mind immediately going back to Raven's bright smile when she showed me the album.
(Insert "The Nearness of You" by Norah Jones)
"Right away." She said before the calming sound of piano filled my room. I relaxed my shoulders as I listened to the song. My eyes were still fixated on the ceiling and I let another heavy sigh come out of my mouth. I let my mind replay the evening from start to finish. Natasha was right from the beginning, I did have some hidden feelings for Raven. Was I going to act on these said feelings this time or was I going to wait another 70 years?
"Damnit, I should have kissed her." I said again.
As soon as I walked down the hall toward the kitchen and saw Natasha at the table, I knew I was in for it. She wasn’t even looking at the newspaper today. She was probably expecting a full report from me. I hung my head down and shook it. What even was I going to say? I placed my hands on my hips and looked into the kitchen. I took in a breath in, let it out, dropped my hands and walked right into the kitchen.
“So?” Natasha asked as I walked right by her. I thought about just ignoring her but I didn’t.
“So…” I trailed off, giving my back to her as I went straight for the coffee.
“Oh come on, are you really going to make me ask?” She asked.
“Ask what?” I responded. I heard the irritation in her sigh.
“How was your date?” I didn’t even have to look at her to hear the smile in her voice. I opened my mouth to respond but she spoke before I could say anything.
“And you can’t tell me it wasn’t because I know it was.”
“How do you know that?” I asked her.
“You didn’t get back until after one in the morning. Half of the buttons on your shirt were unbuttoned and you had that same look on your face as you do now.” She said as I turned around to face her. She was enjoying this more than I thought she was. I opened my mouth once more and closed it when she spoke.
“I looked at the cameras.” She said with a shrug.
“It wasn’t a date.” I said
“Oh come on!” She yelled at me.
“It wasn’t.” I said, shrugging my shoulders.
“What did you two do then?”
“She made dinner, we ate. Talked quite a bit…” I shrugged again, taking a sip from my coffee mug. Nat narrowed her eyes at me.
“What else?” She asked.
“That’s it.” I told her.
“It was just a friendly dinner. Just two friends getting to know each other. It was no different than us having dinner.” I told her.
“You’re lying.” She said, folding her arms over her chest.
“I am not.” I told her.
“You are. Should I ask her myself? Maybe I should go to one of those night outs she puts on...”She said. Knowing Nat I wouldn’t put it past her to actually do that. Which wouldn’t have been good because Raven asked me to forget what she said. I didn’t need Nat bringing it back up.
“Fine. We danced.” I told her. I watched her blank expression as she blinked at my answer.
“Is ‘danced’ old man code for fucked?”
“Language Natasha.” I said and she laughed.
“No it’s not, we didn't do anything physical.” I explained.
“Clearly. You wouldn’t be as up tight if you had.” She said and I allowed a look of confusion to come across my face.
“I like watching you sweat. You never get nervous. Except with women... It’s sweet.” She said, giving me a smile. I rolled my eyes and lifted my mug to take a sip.
“So you danced?” She questioned and I nodded.
“She told me about her mother and how she had passed. Talked about her brother some more. She brought up her charity work with the shelter. And we danced.” I said.
“Yeah cancer is a real bitch. Her mother was a very honorable woman. She paved the way for women of color in the medical field.” Nat said and I stood there agreeing with her. Then stopped when I realized that she was telling me new information about Raven that I didn’t know.
“Can you stop telling me things about her?” I asked and she raised a brow at me.
“Why? Are you planning on spending more time with her so I won’t have to?” She asked me. I let out a frustrated puff of air. I didn't respond to her question because I was still trying to figure out how much I wanted to be around Raven.
“You had a good night though?” She finally asked me. I sighed and nodded my head because I did indeed have a good night.
“It was a great time.” I told her, rubbing the back of my neck with my free hand.
“I’m glad.” She replied picking up her mug. She sat in silence with me for no more than a couple minutes.
“From what I’ve found out about her; she’s a great woman, Steve. You’d be lucky to have her and she’d be lucky to have you.” I couldn't help but to nod at her words. I knew first hand that Raven was in fact turning out to be a great woman. I'm sure she looked great on paper as well.
“In whatever weird partnership you two want to be: Lovers, friends, associates… friends with benefits. She’ll probably be a good one.”
“Just friends.”I said more so reminding myself of what Raven wanted to be.
“A very cute, beautiful friend, yes.”
“Nat.” I said.
“Okay, Okay. I’m done... I really hope she fucks the grumpiness out of you.” She mumbled.
“Natasha come on, it’s not even noon yet.” I said, pointing at the clock on the wall of the kitchen.
“Okay, Alright. I’m actually done now.” She told me. I finished my coffee and rinsed out my mug. I looked at Nat who was now reading the newspaper. I walked up to the table and tapped it two times. Something that had turned out to be code for us to be transparent and honest with each other. I looked over at her the same time she looked up at me.
"You deserve to be happy Steve." She told me.
"What happens to you if I go off and be happy and you're here by yourself?" I asked her and she shook her head.
"Don't let me be the reason why you don't take this chance." She told me. Her voice was stern.
"We're in a time where happiness is few and far in-between. And you're getting it handed to you practically on a silver platter- Plus with some help from me." She said the last words with a smile.
"Don't waste it." She told me.
"What if she just wants to be friends?" I asked her.
"Did she say those exact words or is that just you trying to make yourself miserable?" Nat asked me and I chuckled dismissing her words.
"I don't do that." I told her and Nat double tapped on the table. I let out a frustrated puff of air.
"She basically told me that she has feelings for me but she asked me to forget she said anything. She also brought up that she asked me over as a friend." I told her.
"Sounds like mostly you. I've seen her background, Steve. She has some baggage. You can't just shake that off easily. Get to know her some more." She told me.
"Besides she wouldn't have danced with if she truly only wanted to be your friend. I would have never done that." She told me with a smile. I chuckled again.
"Yeah you wouldn't have." I agreed with her. I walked out of the kitchen and headed towards the garage. I grabbed my jacket from the coat rack. My mind replayed the evening again.
"I really should have kissed her." I said as I stood in front of my motorcycle. I fished my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through the contacts until I found 'Raven Cadieux’. I hit call and then held the phone to my ear. I was already regretting my decision when I heard the phone ring. Doubt crossed my mind the longer the ringing went. What if she didn’t want to hear from me? What if she was busy? What if-
“Hello!” Her voice chimed.
“Hey.”I said, immediately feeling relieved.
“It’s Steve.”
“Steve who?” She asked. My mouth twitched at her words. Maybe she didn’t have my number saved.
“Oh, um, Steve Rogers.”
“I’m messing with you. I only know one Steve” She said with a laugh. Relief rushed over me again.
“How are you?” She asked me.
“Fine-I’m fine. How are you?” I asked in return.
“Same old same old.”She told me.
“I was just calling to make sure you made it to work alright. I know I left pretty late.” I told her, my free hand rubbing the back of my neck.
“Oh. Yeah I did.” She laughed.
“That’s very sweet of you. I’ve had my fair share of late nights and early mornings.” She told me
“Right… Well I’ll let you go. Just wanted to check in I guess?” Why am I so awkward?
“What are you doing right now?” She asked me and I looked around the garage trying to come up with something to tell her.
“Absolutely nothing.” I told her.
“Wanna come see me?”I nodded in response as if she could see me. I would love nothing more than to see you. I said to myself.
“Sure. If you want me too.” I told her instead.
“If you want to come see me, then you can.” She said putting emphasis on ‘you’. Believe me I want to, I told myself. I thought back to our conversation last night, when she asked me when was the last time I had done something for myself.
“I want to-If you’re not busy that is.”
“Steve, I wouldn't have asked you if I was busy.” She said with a laugh. She was so direct with her words. She really didn't sugar coat anything.
“If you get here around eleven I’ll be free from then on till after lunch.” She told me. I looked at my watch and it was just now a little after ten.
“I can do that.”
“Awesome. Well I’ll text you my location.” She told me before she got off the phone. It didn’t take me long to get to her clinic. Traffic was better since there wasn’t as many people on the roads. I waited next to my bike until it was closer to eleven so I wouldn’t bother her. Nat was right. I was nervous when it came to women. I could jump out of a plane without blinking an eye but asking a woman out. Not too easy. I pulled the door open to the clinic and was greeted with a warm welcome from a young lady behind the front desk.
“How can I help you?” She asked.
“I’m here to see Raven.” I told her, clearing my throat.
“Let me see…” She said. She looked down at the computer and made a face before she smiled.
“Dr. Cadieux is expecting you.” She said.
“If you’ll go around this corner and through that door at the end of the hall then you’ll see her.” She told me as she pointed to the hall and the door.
“Thank you” I told her. I walked through the door holding it open for a blonde hair woman wearing scrubs to walk through. I let my eyes wander around at the metal built in tables and the metal dog kennels. The light colored wood cabinets and the posters of the anatomy of different animals. It was easy to tell that it was sterile like a hospital; it even smelled like a hospital.
“Hey.” She said, giving me a bright smile when she saw me. She stood up from her chair and walked over to me.
“This is impressive,” I told her, matching her smile. She was wearing dark navy scrubs and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Her name was stitched into the fabric of her scrubs.
“Thank you.” She replied as she wrapped her arms around my waist. I instinctively also wrapped my arms around her. She gave me a tight squeeze which was turning out to be a normal gesture that she did. She pulled away from me and looked up at me
“So you wanted to see me?” She asked with a sweet smile on her face. I chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck.
“Yeah… I did.” I told her and she laughed walking into an office. She sat behind a desk and she pointed at a chair across the room then wiggled her finger at me. I grabbed the chair and then brought it into her office sitting next to her behind the desk.
"Look who's here." Raven said with a smile and I looked over her shoulder to see Sugar on a dog bed wagging her fluffy tail at me.
"How's my girl?" I asked as she got up and greeted me.
"She loves you." Raven told me and I grinned as I rubbed Sugar's ears.
"The feeling is mutual."
“How’s your day been?” Raven asked me.
“Alright.” I told her.
“I’m living with one of my friends right now. So we can keep each other company… This morning she was grilling me pretty hard about last night.” I told her with a chuckle.
“Really? Why?” She asked.
“I don’t really ever go out with anyone... I came back late...” I told her and her eyes widened.
“Oh! Yeah I’m sure that looked bad. I shouldn’t have had you out so late.” She said before she turned to check an email.
“Natasha is just nosy. I didn’t mind being out late. I might be old but physically I’m not.” I told her.
“You definitely are not.” She mumbled and I felt the right side of my lip tug into a smile.
“Anyway how’s your day been?”
“Uh… good yeah. I am a little tired but I’ll be okay. I’ve seen some sweet puppies today so that always makes the day better.” She told me.
“I can imagine.” I replied. We fell back into the same silence that we did last night. I was starting to like it just being in her presence. My body instantly started to relax while I was around her. I felt myself wanting to take her hand in mine but I didn’t. She was working and I didn’t want to disturb her. I looked around her office, looking at her family photos and pictures of her dogs. I smiled seeing the plants she had in her office. She seemed to love plants almost as much as she loved dogs. Another smile came to me as I looked at a picture of her with looked to be like friends. I assumed it was before the blip. She looked so happy in the photo. It was nice to see photos of her like that before everything. I pushed my eyebrows together as I read a wooden sign that said "Dr. Warrior" with a family crest on it.
"Dr. Warrior?" I questioned. Raven turned in her chair to look at it with me.
"Yeah, our last name means warrior." She told me
"My father made that for my mom when she became a doctor. It hung in her office for years... Now it's in mine." She told me with a smile. I felt a little guilty for bringing it up but I enjoyed hearing more about her history.
“You’re not originally from here?” I asked her and she laughed, turning her attention back on me.
“What gave me away?” She asked.
“I saw your diploma out front”
“That makes sense. Yeah I’m not from there either.” She let out a small laugh.
“I’m actually from New Orleans. I went to school in Oklahoma. River went to school up here. Then I moved here and I’ve been here ever since. I used to hate it but it's been growing on me.” She told me and shrugged her shoulders.
“You’ve always been here though right?” She asked me and I nodded.
“I was born and raised in Brooklyn. Then I spent quite a bit of time in Germany. Then I was on ice as you know.” I said with a laugh and she joined me.
“Then I woke up here.” I told her.
“I’ve always wanted to go to Germany. I spent a few summers in Australia. But that’s about as much traveling as I’ve done.” She didn’t mention that the reason she went to Australia was because of her boyfriend. She actually hadn’t mentioned him at all.
“Germany wasn’t the best place when I went.” I told her.
“Oh! Right! I’m sorry.”She said, patting my knee with her hand.
“You’re okay.” I told her with a chuckle.
“Why Australia?” I asked her. She rolled her eyes and took in a breath.
“I had a boyfriend in college. He lived there. Beautiful place. I love the country and the animals but he was a piece of shit.” She said. She shook her body as if she was trying to get rid of a nasty thought. Was he the baggage Natasha was telling me about. I placed my hand on my chest and looked like I was in pain.
“You had a boyfriend before me? That hurts.” I told her and she pushed my shoulder.
“If you went to my college I would have dated you over him in a heartbeat.” She told me and I flashed her a grin. So she did see me as more than a friend.
“Oh I don’t know about that...”
“I do.” She told me, letting out another laugh.
“I shouldn't have been with him, or at least shouldn’t have stayed with him.” She said and though she was laughing I could see some actual hurt in her eyes.
“I’m confused on how anyone would have the audacity to do wrong by you.” I told her. Her cheeks grew a red hue, I smiled seeing it.
“You’re too sweet.” She said with a sigh.
(Insert ‘Change’ by Banks)
“He just… Didn’t care. I guess. He never listened. He was always right, I was always wrong. He cheated- all the time and then lied about it. Then called me crazy when I brought it up. He would get better and would love me and then he would go out and cheat and…" She trailed her. I could see the pain in her eyes as if she was still dealing with the after affects.
"I said I was done with him many times. Too many.” She said with a humorless laugh. It made sense now why she kept to herself. She wasn’t used to anyone else besides family caring for her. My heart ached for her just like it did last night.
“Then when my dad died… He was there.” She shrugged as she looked off into the distance.
“It was comforting to have someone who knew everything, instead of having someone new. So I stayed some more. Then the day I needed him...The day we buried my father I wasn't being fun enough for him...” She trailed off again and I shook my head. I could feel the rage building in my chest. I couldn't help but to think how easy it would be to knock him down. I looked down when I saw Sugar get up and walk over to Raven. She placed her head in Raven's lap looking up at her. I watched as Raven placed her hand on Sugars hair and smoothed her fur. She took a deep breath and looked over at me.
"Long story short. I filed a restraining order. Something that was long over due." She said shrugging her shoulders again.
“Piece of shit is right.” I told her and nodded her head in agreement.
“For sure.” She said. I reached over to her offering her my hand and she took it. I closed my fingers around it and let my thumb stroke her knuckles. I could see what Nat was telling me this morning. She had deep scars and she was still healing from them. Healing alone at that. Not only had she lost both of her parents but she also lost her twin. Which I could only imagine how hard that was for her. Then to add the trauma she went through in her last relationship. She had more pain and trauma then the average person.
(Insert "Work Song" by Hozier)
"Sorry... I didn't mean to dump all of that on you." She told me and I shook my head at her.
"You never have to apologize to me Raven." I told her. I looked into those beautiful brown irises of hers. I could see tears start to collect on her waterlines. She nodded at my words and squeezed my hand. She became silent once more. I leaned my head towards the speaker in her office.
"Who's this song by?" I asked her. Trying to change the subject.
"Hozier." She whispered out.
"I like it." I told her with a smile and she matched it. She gave my hand another squeeze. I took it as a sign that Raven was okay when Sugar moved away from her and went back to her dog bed. This whole time she had been keeping everyone at arms length to protect herself. I wondered how long she had been doing that. From afar Raven seemed so strong but up close she was glass. Beautifully stained glass. I knew from here on out ,that I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that no one broke her again.
Prompt: Almost two years after the fight with Thanos Steve starts putting on meetings to help people who have lost someone. After doubting his feelings for Raven Steve agrees to go on date with her.
Warnings: Alcohol/Drinking, Little Fluff, Little Spice, Mention of a parent's death
Word Count: 2.7K
Author Notes: Sweet Steve is my favorite Steve.
This is a Slow Burn so it’ll be a few chapters before the juicy stuff ;)
Let me know what y'all think :3
If you would like to listen along with the story here's the Spotify Playlist
Chapter 4
Steve's POV
(Insert ‘All of Me’ by Billie Holiday)
I hadn’t danced with anyone since 1945. I told myself that I wouldn’t dance with anyone until I got to have that dance with Peggy. But I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t follow my own advice on moving forward. The song brought back so many fond memories of my old friends. To Raven it may have seemed like a bad memory but I treasured it. I was feeling nostalgic. So I asked her to dance. I placed a hand on her waist and looked down at her as she placed her hand on my shoulder. I gave her a smile as she looked up at me. I took one step to sway with her and she matched my movements. I closed my eyes and I felt like I had gone back in time. I could clearly see the room I was in that night. The dimly lit club. The smell of alcohol and smoke in the air. I could see Bucky in his uniform dancing the night away with a blonde haired woman. I felt a smile on my lips as I hummed the medley of the song. I opened my eyes to be brought out of the memory that I was in. When I opened my eyes I saw that Raven was looking up at me, watching me.
“What?”I asked, my words coming out as a chuckle
“Nothing… I just like seeing you like this.” She told me. Her eyes not wavering from my gaze.
“Like what?”I asked.
“Carefree, Happy or at least as close to happy as you can be.”
“Do I not normally seem carefree?”
“No.” She said without hesitation.
“You always look like you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.” She told me. How was it that she was able to see me so clearly?
“I think that comes with the job.”
“Maybe so. But when was the last time you lived for Steve Rogers- not Captain America?”She asked me.
"What if they're the same person?" I asked her. A shiver ran down my spine feeling her hand slid down from my shoulder to my chest.
"Not the Steve Rogers that's just as famous as Cap... But the Steve that's in here."She told me as her hand settled over my heart. I broke our gaze and took a breath in, raising both my eyes brows and then exhaled slowly. When was the last time I lived for myself? I pondered on that question. I couldn’t remember. Maybe when I signed up for the army or maybe even when I asked Peggy out for that date. Or maybe when I chose Bucky over Tony but even that wasn’t fully for me.
“1930s over 1940s.. give or take” I finally gave her an answer, still swaying with Raven as the sound of a trumpet and saxophone filled her home. I looked back down at her to see a frown on her lips. She didn't like my answer.
“It’s been way too long then.” She told me and I agreed. It had been too long.
“When was the last time you did something for yourself? From what I can tell, you put everyone before yourself.” I asked her.
“Yesterday.” She told me and I raised a brow at her letting it be known that I was questioning her response. I immediately thought of yesterday when we went for that walk. From what I knew she was doing things for Abel not herself.
“I asked you to come over.” She told me and gave my hand a squeeze. Her answered surprised me. I allowed a shocked express to come across my face as I looked away from her again. I didn’t think this was a date but maybe it was. I thought about how that made me feel. I wasn’t uncomfortable with the idea of it. She was a beautiful woman and she was kind. It had been decades since I had an official date and this wasn’t a bad one. The track on the album changed just in time to match the mood. A slower, more intimate song started to play.
(Insert ‘I’ll be seeing you’ by Billie Holiday)
“Today’s the anniversary of my mother’s death…” she told me. My gaze shot right back down to her when I heard her words. Her eyes were focused on my chest as she spoke. I returned the hand squeeze she had given me earlier. When she looked back up at me I could see the pain in her eyes as her words set in. The bright twinkle that was normally in her irises was gone.
“I’m so sorry Raven.” I told her. Hoping she could hear the sincerity in my voice and see it in my eyes.
“It’s okay, I normally spend the day with River. Last year I spent it alone and it was harder than I thought it would be. But today hasn’t been that bad.” My heart ached for her in this moment. Someone who tried so hard to make everyone else feel okay was suffering alone and no one would have known.
"How long has it been?" I asked her.
"Three years." She said.
"Wh- What happened?"I said, stuttering with my words as I asked.
"Breast Cancer... By the time she told us it was too late. She didn't want the help or the treatment because she knew that it was too late..." She trailed off.
"She- um...She just wanted to spend time with us." She finished. I watched as her eyes turned glossy and a pool of tears gathered at her water lines. The hand that I had on her hip I moved until it was on the small of her back. I pulled her closer to me so that her body was flush against mine. Raven pressed her face against my chest and I laid my cheek against her hair as she let out a deep breath. I could feel a damp spot start to bleed through my shirt. I looked over when I heard the jingling sound of dog-tags. Sugar had gotten up from the dog bed and made her way over to us, staring up at Raven.
"I got her," I mouthed to the dog. I placed my cheek back onto Raven's head. I held her a little closer to me until I could feel her body relax against mine. I began to hum the melody of the song as I swayed with her to the music.
“Thank you... This is nice.” She mumbled out. She removed her hand from mine and the hand that was on my shoulder to wrap both of her arms around my torso. I mirrored her attractions wrapping both of my arms around her waist. I took a breath in smelling the sweet scent of coconut and vanilla from her hair. Regardless of the saddening information she just told me, she was right, this was nice. I wasn't expecting to have an evening like this one. I figured we would have a formal conversation filled with painful silences. I didn't think I was going to feel so connected to her. To feel more whole the longer I was in her presence. It was almost unsettling how comfortable I was around her. How much she felt like home- well as close to home as I could get... Was this why Natasha always pushed me into the dating world? Was it normally like this? If I knew dating would be this easy then maybe I would’ve gotten over my fear and resentment of it. Surely it wouldn’t be like this with just anyone. It definitely wasn't like this with Sharon. I thought to myself.
I basked in our silence as we danced. I smiled to myself feeling just how relaxed she actually was in my arms. If I could, I would have lived in this moment. For a few minutes nothing else seemed important. My heart break from knowing that I would never get my chance Peggy, my guilt from our fight with Thanos, the apparent loneliness that I hid- all of it was irrelevant in this moment. My mind and heart was at peace in this moment.
Neither one of us realized that the record had reached its end. It wasn’t until I heard the dogs whining at the endless crackling sound.
“I think our song ended.” I whispered out to her as I stilled our dancing.
“It seems so...” She whispered against my chest. Despite her acknowledgment she continued to stay in my arms. A small smile tugged at the corner of my lips knowing that she was enjoying the moment like I was. She took in another deep breath before she pulled herself away from me. Her eyes reached mine and she gave me a sweet smile- One I hadn’t seen before.
“Thank you for the dance.” She told me. Those words echoed in my head and in my heart. I thought I would never hear those words. My hand slid up her arm as she stared into my eyes. God I was starting to love those beautiful brown eyes of hers. I could see right into her soul through her irises and Something told me that she could see right into mine. I instinctively wanted to lean down and press my lips onto hers. But instead I just said-
“Anytime.” I matched her smile feeling her body slide through my arms. She walked over to the record player and picked up the record.
“Any requests?”She asked me and I shook my head.
“You won’t know this one but I think you'll like it.” She told me.
“Norah Jones.” She said, showing me the cover to the record. She flashed me a bright smile. I could tell just by her smile that it was one of her favorite records. I made a mental note to look up more songs by her.
“I haven't actually.” I told her as I walked over to the coffee table to pick up my glass of wine. I needed to preoccupy my mind from looking at her. I noticed how she was dressed when I came in but it was starting to get to me now. I liked the flare out grey pants she had on; Not to mention the formfitting short sleeve black shirt. I had never once seen her dress like this. Maybe that’s what she wore to work? If she wore that to work I wasn’t quite sure how she was single. Get it together Steve. I told myself.
(Insert ‘Come away with me’ by Norah Jones)
"I hope you like her. She has a unique sound to her that I think that you'll appreciate." She told me. Her back was still to me. I allowed my eyes to rake down her body and take in all of her curves. I took another sip of my wine swallowing it hard when my gaze landed on her ass.
“Do you like this one?” She asked me.
“Yes. I. do.”I said, clearing my throat as she caught me staring. She smiled and narrowed her eyes at me before she set the volume on the player to low. She sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to her. I took another sip from my glass finishing off what was left. I took my seat next to her and she positioned her body to face me. She propped her head up with her hand as her arm.
“I think we need to address the elephant in the room..” She stated. I couldn't help but to feel like a kid that had just gotten caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
“I really hope I’m not leading you on tonight. That was not my intention.” She told me placing her free hand on her chest as she spoke. I shook my head and waved off her words.
“You said dinner as a friend.” I reminded her and she smiled.
“I did.” She agreed. I think this is what Sam would have called friend- friend?… Friend zoned? That’s what it was called.
“Why did you ask me? Not that I mind-Because I am honored.” I told her, hoping that my words didn’t come off as harsh.
“Everyone in my life right now I have to take care of… and today’s the one day that I allow myself to fall apart.” She started.
“I um… After yesterday I got the feeling that if I did fall apart, you would be okay with just sitting with me. Which I know sounds crazy because we’re practically strangers to each other-”
“I don’t think you’re a stranger.” I cut her off when I heard her voice waver with emotion.
“Good because I don’t either.” She told me and tapped my knee with her hand before she wiped a tear away.
“I dunno… I just felt in my soul that you were the right person for today.” She told me. I grabbed her hand without thinking about it and ran my thumb over her knuckles.
“I am more than happy to be that person for today and for each year until you find someone better.” Before I realized what I was saying the words out. I didn't disagree with them but I was putting myself on the line. It was becoming apparent that she only wanted us to be friends. I wanted that too, didn't I? I questioned myself. I saw her take her bottom lip into her teeth; biting it. She became silent again and I sat in silence with her just like she said I would. It was an odd feeling to be so drawn to someone. I hadn’t felt like this since Peggy, truthfully. She was the last woman who captured my heart just after a couple interactions. I thought I had missed my chance to feel this way again.
“That’s the problem…”She said, breaking the silence. I looked at her raising a brow to question her words.
“I don’t think there’s ever going to be a better person… Than you.” She whispered out the last two words. I could feel a spark in my heart that I hadn’t felt in decades. I took a deep breath and let it out. I was starting to get overwhelmed with my feelings for her. It was too soon to feel like this... or maybe not soon enough.
“I know I sound crazy. I’m sure you get that all the time.” She said taking her hand away from mine. I pushed my brows together and leaned forward taking her hand back into mine
“You do not, and I do not... I gotta be honest with you, I haven’t felt like this since-”I cut myself off as I felt a pressure building in my chest. Naturally I wanted to say since Peggy but I couldn't get the words out. I cleared my throat before speaking again.
“In a very, very long time Raven.” I told her. I watched as she closed her eyes at my words as if she could finally let herself believe her own thoughts. When she opened her eyes again I gave her a smile. We sat in another moment of silence. It was becoming evident that we didn’t need words to enjoy each other’s company. We just sat there looking into each other’s eyes. Her eyes looked a little glossy again, as if she was on the verge of crying. I looked down at her hand that was still in mine to give her the privacy to cry if she needed too.
“Can we forget that I said that?” She asked me. Her voice thick with emotion. I let out slow breath and nodded my head
“That might be hard… but if that’s what you want.” I said, Giving her hand a gentle squeeze. I looked back up at her and saw tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Thanks.” She told me with a small smile.
“Sure.” I responded. She wanted me to forget that she had just told me that I was the one she needed. And if she truly wanted me to forget that then I could. But the problem was that I thought she was right.. I may have just gotten my second chance at love. Something I have been wanting since I woke up 70 years later. I didn’t know how to explain it but I felt as if Peggy put Raven in my path. She seemed to need me just as much as I needed her.
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Raven (OC)
Prompt: Almost two years after the fight with Thanos Steve starts putting on meetings to help people who have lost someone. After doubting his feelings for Raven Steve agrees to go on date with her.
Warnings: Alcohol/Drinking, Little Fluff, Little Spice
Word Count: 2.1K
Author Notes: Basically Raven simping for Steve lol
This is a Slow Burn so it’ll be a few chapters before the juicy stuff ;)
Let me know what y'all think :3
If you would like to listen along with the story here's the Spotify Playlist
Chapter 3
Raven's POV
“Damnit!” I said as I removed the skillet off the burner that I had on the stove. I pulled my hand back and placed my finger into my mouth; sucking on the burn that I just got. I glanced over at the clock seeing that it was getting close to six. I grabbed a towel removing the hot spoon out of the skillet and tossed it in the skink.
“Why am I so nervous?” I asked myself as I fished out another spoon from the silverware drawer. I knew the answer to that already but I pushed the thought out of my head. I put the skillet back on the burner and tilted it so that all of the melted butter moved down to the bottom of the pan. I dipped the spoon into the butter and started tossing the melted butter, garlic, and rosemary onto the sizzling steak. I looked over at my phone when I heard a chime go off.
“Damnit.” I repeated. I took the skillet off the burner again and grabbed a towel. I whipped my hands off before jogging to the door. I stopped at the mirror in the hallway to check my hair and face, smoothing out any running mascara. I took a deep breath and then walked to the door.
“Hey!” I said putting on my best smile as I opened the door to see the tall dirty blonde hair man that I was growing to love to see. I laughed as I saw a look of confusion on his face.
“How do you do that?” He asked and I shook my head playing it off.
“A magician never reveals her secrets.” I told him as he walked through the door way.
“I don’t think you’ll get tackled by any dogs since they all know you now but I make no promises.” I said letting another laugh escape me. I watched as he braced himself for impact.
“I don’t mind. That’s the best part of coming over” he said.
“That’s what everyone says” I replied with a genuine smile coming to my lips. Nothing made me happier than seeing people loving my dogs. I obviously thought they were great but to see someone else think that made my heart smile.
“Do you want me to take that?” I asked Steve as I heard the tapping of paws on the hardwood floor.
“Again I didn’t know what to bring.” He said as he handed me a bottle of red wine.
“Ooo a 1988 Cabernet. That’s going to be so good. Thank you.” I said, stepping back as I let two of my dogs rush Steve. I smiled seeing their butts wiggle with excitement and seeing Honey tap dancing as she waited to get her pets. I watched Steve as he laughed and grinned, petting both of them and dodging their licks to the face. His graze matched mine and I stared into his ocean blue eyes. They were calming but yet sincere. I had gotten used to being around the infamous Captain America but it was different when it was just the two of us. He seemed more like a regular person than a superhero.
“Alright alright. Go lay down” I told them sternly and they both looked at me and then walked off. I looked back at Steve who was standing back up. He turned to face me and opened his arms to embrace me.
“Good to see you.” He said and I walked into his arms wrapping one arm around him. It amazed me that even through his clothes I could still feel how firm his body was. He had to have been made out of marble.
“You as well” I replied, pulling back when he did.
“It smells amazing in here, Raven” He told me
“I’m glad! I have takeout on speed dial in case you don’t like it.” I told him while I led him into the kitchen and living room area.
“If it tastes as good as it smells I promise I’ll like it.” He told me. A smile naturally tugged at my lips hearing his words. I sat the bottle of wine down on the counter grabbing my electric corkscrew. I set it on top of the bottle and let the gadget do the work for me.
“How was your day?” I asked him.
“It was fine. Yours?”
“Good. Didn’t do much.” It was oddly natural to have such a mundane conversation with him. To talk about our days like we had gotten home from work. I poured the red wine into a craft to let it breathe while I finished cooking.
“Did you work today?” He asked me.
“I did. But not at the clinic. I spent the day at the animal shelter.” I told him.
“What do you do there?”
“I mostly just make sure that the animals have all their medical needs taken care of. I walk some of them if they’re short on volunteers or I’ll give some of the dogs a bath if they need it.”
“You’re very kind Raven.” He told me. I was glad that my back was to him because I could feel how hot my cheeks were. I looked behind me every once in a while to see Steve wandering the living room. Looking at the pictures on the wall.
“Is this your brother?” He asked me and I nodded.
“Yeah that’s River,” I told him.
“It looks like you two were inseparable.”
“We were... We had been together since before birth, you know? The only time we had spent away from each other was when we went to college.” I told him.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized.
“It’s okay. You always say that the greatest way to honor them is to talk about them right?” I asked and he agreed. I finished the steaks and then plated them along with the mashed potatoes and broccoli. Dinner was nice but a little stiff. It reminded me of a first date. We continued to have a mundane conversation trying to get to know each other on a more personal level. We talked about the people we had lost and small stories about them. I couldn’t help but to stare at his chiseled jawline as he spoke. He definitely had to be made out of marble. I loved the baby blue button down shirt he had on. It was a nice change from the plaid shirts he normally wore. It made his ocean eyes stand out more than they normally did. I occasionally bit the inside of my lip if I started to stare at him for too long. They definitely didn’t make men like that anymore... I had always seen his gentle soul but I got to see it up close tonight. He really was just a man from Brooklyn.
“So does that thing actually work?” He asked me as we both walked over to the couch. I looked behind me to see that he was pointing at the record player that was built into the wall.
“Yeah it does! My brother built it. So it better work.” I said with a laugh as I sat down on my favorite spot on the couch next to Hercules.
“He built it?” He asked and I nodded, lifting up my glass of wine to my lips.
“River was an architect but his hobby was fixing up old instruments and antique record players.” I told him.
“I’ve always been obsessed with records. I can thank my mom for that. Half of those are hers and the other half are mine” I said pointing at the shelves that were full of records.
“I moved up here to be with him. River was struggling with being by himself and he talked me into moving across the country for him…” I said with a laugh.
“Long story short my favorite record player broke during the move. Which sucked because it was our mothers. So River took the parts, put it back together and wired it to the house. So if you play a record it plays through the whole house.” I said with a smile. I hadn’t even noticed that Steve was watching me the whole time I was talking. This was the most relaxed I had ever seen him. He had his left arm draped over the top of the couch. His right hand was holding his wine glass. I sat there across from him watching his darted down then slowly dart back up at me. I held my breath feeling a hot, excited energy flow through me. If looks could make you come than that look would have done it to me. I let out my breath slowly as I watched as he took a sip from the glass. His eyes never leaving mine. He gave me a smile before he spoke.
“That’s a great gift” he said and I agreed. I placed my hand on Herc’s head and smoothed out his short fur as I brought my glass to my lips again.
“May I?” Steve asked, motioning towards the record player.
“By all means.” I told him watching him as he pushed himself up and walked behind me to the shelves of records.
“I probably have something in there that you’re familiar with.” I told him and I heard him laugh.
“I doubt that.”
“I am very musically cultured, thank you.” I said as I got up and made my way over to him.
“What decade would you like?” I asked him, handing him my glass.
“40s” he challenged me and I walked over to the shelf that had a few records from then.
“Luckily you didn’t say 30s” I said with a laugh pulling out a Billie Holiday record. I lifted up the glass top of the record player, took out the record and placed it on the player.
(Insert ‘Blue Moon’ by Billie Holiday)
“Let’s see if you know anything about this” I said, bumping his arm with my shoulder. I lifted up the needle and sat it on the record. The record turned slowly as the house was filled with the crackling noise from the record. Slowly the house filled with sounds of piano and drums as the album played. I looked over at Steve who had a shocked expression on his face.
“Billie Holiday?” He questioned and I grinned while taking my wine glass back from him. I took a sip and watched him as a wide smile came across his face.
“Wow.” He said and I nodded.
“I love this thing.” I told him. I finished my glass and made my way into the kitchen setting the glass down on the counter. I debated on if I was going to have another glass. I had already had two and it was already making its way to my head. I didn’t want to seem like a drunk in front of Captain America. I also knew how emotional I got when I was drunk on wine and there were some feelings that I needed to keep concealed tonight.
“You want another glass?”
“Sure!” He responded. I poured him another glass and then brought it to him. His eyes seemed to fill with wonder as he searched through my collection of records. I handed him the glass and he took it.
“You can play whatever you’d like.” I told him while I was about to slide past him to get to the couch the song changed and I could see on his face that it brought back detailed memories.
“I remember when this song came out. I was on a double date at a club with Bucky… he was trying to take home some girl and he took her onto the dance floor. Everyone had someone on the dance floor besides me. And I just sat there and watched all of them dance with these pretty girls from the table.” He told me. A frown came to my face as I listened to him.
“Well that’s shitty” I told him and he chuckled and shrugged his shoulders.
“It was but that’s what it was like back then” he told me and my frown deepened.
“May I?” He asked me again but this time he offered me his hand. I looked at it then looked at his face. He had a spark in his eyes that wasn’t usually there. I placed my hand in his and his fingers closed around my hand. He took me to the middle of the living room and pulled me a little closer to him. I placed my hand on his shoulder and he placed his free hand on my waist. I gave his hand a squeeze as we both swayed to the music.
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Raven (OC)
Prompt: Almost two years after the fight with Thanos Steve starts putting on meetings to help people who have lost someone. In doing so Steve takes an interest in a woman who comes to the meetings. Natasha teases Steve about his unknowing crush.
Warnings: A lot of dialogue, Still mostly just fluff.
Word Count: 2.8K
Author Notes: I have always loved the banter between Steve and Nat. So I had to put some in there! This is a Slow Burn so it'll be a few chapters before the juicy stuff . Chapter 3 will have a little spice ;)
Let me know what y'all think :3
Chapter 2
Steve's POV
“So how was your date?” Natasha asked me first thing this morning.
“It wasn’t a date.” I told her, grabbing my coffee mug out of the cabinet.
“But it was nice.” I told her as I poured the fresh pot of coffee into my mug.
“Anything happen while I was gone?” I asked her. I looked over my shoulder to see her shake her head as she flipped through the newspaper. I turned back to set the coffee pot down.
“Nope… just the same stuff.” She said, I turned to face her leaning my back against the counter.
“I do wanna hear more about last night though. Did you kiss her goodnight?” She asked with a straight face, her eyes looked up from the paper waiting to see a reaction out of me.
“No I didn’t.” I told her.
“It was… nice. They all talked, joked around… had some drinks. It was as normal as you can get right now.” I said, taking a sip of my coffee.
“God you make it sound boring, Rogers. You didn’t find anything out? See if Raven was single?” Natasha asked. I shook my head ignoring her last question.
“It wasn’t boring. I did find out that Raven's a vet. I thought that was interesting... She has 4 dogs instead of 2. I think that’s about it…” I trailed off.
“Well I knew that.” Natasha said with a sigh. She looked as if she was disappointed in what I told her.
“She graduated from vet school in 2014 from Oklahoma State University. Her Vet client is off of 83rd Street. She’s worked there for 5 years. She does a lot of pro bono work for clients who can’t afford it. She donates a lot of time and money into local shelters.” Natasha said nonchalantly, never looking up from her newspaper. I raised my eyebrow at the information that she knew about her. I was going to ask her how she knew that but I decided against it.
“I’m not going to ask how you know that.” I told her, shaking my head. I looked up at her and she gave me a smile.
“Probably for the best.” She replied. I thought about what to say next and how to word it. Knowing Natasha was going to give me hell for asking it regardless how I worded it.
“Was she… is she…” I tried asking. Looking away when I saw Nat set the newspaper down and smirk at me.
“Was she what Rogers?” She asked me. I could tell she was enjoying how this made me uncomfortable. I took a sip of my coffee trying to gather the nerve to just ask my question.
“Was she married before this?” I finally asked and I could hear Nat’s chuckle.
“Nope!” She said. Good… I thought to myself. I surprisingly felt at ease knowing that.
“She did have a boyfriend named Zander though.” She told me. My ease immediately vanished and was replaced by a sudden weight in my chest hearing that. So she did have someone…
“But they broke up in 2016 and he moved back to Australia.” I unconsciously let out a sigh of relief from her words, but also from the emotional rollercoaster I just went on.
“I knew it...You do like her!” Nat said, as she leaned back in her chair with a cocky smile on her face.
“I never said that.” I told her, trying to defend myself.
“Please Rogers, I’m the best at reading body language and right now yours is telling me everything.” She said, Her smile turning back into that smirk. I looked away from her trying to let the conversation end. I didn’t show any type certain body language when it came to Raven. This was just Natasha trying to get a rise out of me.
“My body language hasn’t changed one time during this conversation.” I told her. Letting out a frustrated breath of air when I heard her give a full body laugh.
“You’re kidding right?” She questioned as she continued to laugh.
“It’s that funny, huh?” I asked her and shook my head when I saw nod her head at me.
“Alright.” I mumbled under my breath taking a sip of my coffee again.
“Do you know the reason why I ask you if Raven’s at every meeting?” She asked.
“Yeah because you like messing with me.” I told her without hesitation. Anytime I was frequently around a woman she would make a remark about how I should ask them out. Or if I noticed how attractive they wore. This was no different
“Well yes but no. When you talk about the meetings, you only bring her up. If she invited you somewhere, If she brought her dogs…” She said and I shrugged my shoulders at her.
“I like dogs.” I told her. She laughed again.
“Okay, I’ll play. Why are you so guarded right now?” She asked as she leaned forward in her seat.
“You haven’t sat down once this morning, You gave your back to me as soon as you walked in. You’ve been holding your mug close to you this whole time. You’ve been defensive- And you always are when I bring her up.”
“I’m defensive when you bring up any woman.” I told her. Setting my mug down on the counter behind me. Naturally my arms crossed over my chest.
“Okay Rogers… Just keep lying to yourself.” She said. The same cocky smile formed on her lips as if she had won the conversation.
“I’m going for a run,” I told her.
“Make sure you run by West 83rd street when you go!” She called out to me. I could hear the wicked smile in her voice. She always pushed me into dating. Normally it came from a good place, but this was different. If I wanted to go out and find someone to date I could. I just didn’t think I was ready to do that. It was my choice.
It wasn’t until the next meeting when I saw any of them again. Despite Natasha’s need to bring up if I had heard from her, everyday- sometimes even twice a day, since Friday. Come Wednesday afternoon I had pushed out the thoughts that Nat had me questioning about myself. I wasn’t anymore interested in Raven then I was with the rest of the people in the group. I cared for all of them. Raven was not an exception.
“Hey Abel.” I said walking into the room seeing Abel already taking the spare chairs that were up against the wall and making a circle out of them.
“Hey Cap.” He said.
“How’d you enjoy Friday night?” He asked me as I went over to set up the coffee station.
“It was a lot of fun.” I told him.
“Yeah I look forward to those- I think we all do.” He said.
“I can understand why.”
“Every time I’m at one of those- I just wish my wife could be there… she would’ve loved it. She always wanted to have a group of friends like that but it was hard to do something like that with my work schedule… But now- I make the time.” He finished. I could only stand there and listen to him. It was the most he had ever opened up about his wife. He mostly talked about work and the coworkers he lost. He had only mentioned his wife a handful of times.
“Sorry man. I know it’s not time yet. I just needed to say it” he said, waving off the emotions he had just expressed.
“No you’re perfectly fine. I’m always here to listen” I told him.
He nodded his head at me and then went back to setting up the chairs. I started the coffee maker watching it as started to drip the brown liquid into the glass pot. I heard the sound of taps and jingling coming from the hall. My demeanor changed completely knowing that Raven brought one of her dogs. I turned to face the door and let a small smile cross my face as I saw the shepherd walking down the hallway.
“Go get him.” I heard Raven say as she let go of the leash and Sugar came prancing up to me.
“How’s my girl?” I asked as I kneeled down taking in all the love that this one dog gave off. My smile remained as she left me to go see Abel who I knew needed the attention more than I did.
“I had a feeling everyone would need her today.” Raven said as she sat her things down at her normal seat. She walked over to me and smiled.
“Probably a good call.” I told her. I didn’t know if I should have given her a hug or made her a cup of coffee. I hadn’t realized until I was this close to her that I had been nervous about seeing her today.
“Thanks again for inviting me over.” I told her trying to fill the silence between us.
“Of course! I’m so glad you came.” She said, My eyes raked over her appearance. She was dressed in her usual leather jacket and boots, her hair was down again instead of in a ponytail. She looked nice- she always looked nice though. I said to myself by my eyes made it back up to her face. More people started to show up and fill the room, taking their seats. I listened as some of them expressed how they missed their loved ones, their small triumphs of doing something new. I watched as Sugar made her way around the room, going to each person in the circle. Though she stayed with Abel the most. My eyes would wander over to Raven who sat directly across from me next to David. Her eyes were always focused on the person who was talking. I had to make myself look away before she caught me. She had changed since I first met her. I thought back on how she looked on Friday. How her smile was infectious. I didn't even realizing that I was still looking at Raven until David caught me staring at her. He gave me a small wave and a smile with one eyebrow raised. I smiled out of embarrassment and looked down before looking over at Abel who began to talk about his wife.
“As always if you need to stick around and chat you’re more than welcome too. If not, we'll see you next week.” I said closing out the meeting. Everyone stood up and started to exit the room while others started to mingle. I gave nods and waves to the people who were leaving. I noticed that David gave Raven a hug before he left and I took the opportunity to make my way over to her.
“Hey Raven, do you have a minute?” I had no idea what I was going to say to her or why I even felt the need to talk to her. I stood there almost stunned as she turned to give me her full attention.
“What’s up?” She asked, looking up at me.
“I-“ I said and then chuckled slightly, shaking my head because I didn’t think this through before I said anything. I watched as she raised an eyebrow at me. I suddenly felt like I was back in 1941 when I would be around women and I didn’t know what to say. I blamed Natasha for my nervousness and for putting thoughts into my head. A week ago I would have been able to talk to Raven without issue but now I was questioning my view of her. I had to figure out if I did think of her differently, mostly so I could prove Nat wrong.
“I’m gonna take Sugar for a walk after this if you wanna join.” She told me, making it easy on me.
“I would actually.” I told her with a smile. Raven was easy to be around once I got over my own anxiety. I could see why the people in the group gravitated towards her. She was like a breath of fresh air or even a siphon taking your pain away and exchanging it with peace.
“Abel was more talkative today” I finally said once we got outside.
“Yeah… today is his wife’s birthday.” She told me. That explained a lot.
“That’s why I brought Sugar. I thought he could use the extra support.”
“That’s kind of you.” I told her and she shrugged her shoulders.
“He’s one of my people now, you know? It’s small but it’s something I can do to help him.” She said and I nodded. She had such a big heart. She wanted to help the ones she cared about so badly.
“Why didn’t you do game night tonight then?” I asked her
“Abel prefers to suffer in silence. He just needs to feel that he still has people who care for him from afar. Game night would have been too much for him.” She responded.
“You have all of them down, don’t you?” I said with a chuckle and she matched the sound.
“I do… Peyton needs to keep her mind busy 24/7. Hence all the baking.” She explained
“Sophia throws herself into work. She works nonstop but when she crashes, she crashes hard. And David likes to talk to someone all the time. I know you wouldn’t think that but he’s a chatterbox.” She said with a laugh. She really did have all of these people down to a T. It was easy to see that she cared about them deeply. Loved them even.
“What about you?” I asked her
“What do you mean?” She asked me and I shrugged.
“How do you cope? Who do you vent to?”
“Oh…” she said.
“Um...I guess I’m a suffer in silence person too, and maybe that I have to have one of my dogs with me at all times.” She told me. I listened to her words and I agreed with her but she was missing something.
“I think you also have to take care of someone.”I added and looked over at her. I could see a faint red hue slowly creep onto her caramel colored cheeks.
“Yeah I guess that too...” She said. She became silent for just a minute or two before she spoke again.
“You have to save someone” She told me, bumping me with her shoulder and I let a chuckle escape me.
“Yeah I think you’re right. I’ve always wanted to help people. Be the big guy to help people like myself when I was smaller.” I told her and she looked over at me.
“Well you help us every week.”
“I hope so. I try to.”
“You do. I know you’ve saved a lot of lives over the years but you single handedly saved ours. I don’t think some of us would have kept going if you didn’t start that group.” She told me.
“That’s very kind of you to say Raven.” I told her
“It’s the truth. I never lie.” She told me and I looked over at her. Something else about her that I didn’t know. She was an honest person. She spoke her mind regardless of what people thought. That also fit her.
“Have I helped you?” I asked her. Just like when it was the two of us in her kitchen, I could feel her switch off the false energy that she put on for everyone else and let her calm but solemn energy out. I heard take a breath in before she spoke.
“You saved my life.” She said and met my gaze.
“Well I’m glad I did.” I told her. I hoped she could hear the sincerity that was in my words. She has helped so many people and has put them above herself. Those people probably wouldn’t have been here if it wasn’t for her. I watched as that same red tint took to her cheeks again and she broke my gaze hiding her face with her brown curly mane of hair. She was quiet for a while after that. She didn’t put her false energy back up, instead she let me bathe in her natural energy. Which was more soothing to me than the other one. When we made it back to the building that we held the meetings at, Raven stopped and faced me.
“Would you want to come over tomorrow? I could make dinner or order take out or something.” She asked. Her brown eyes were piercing in the sunlight. They were like melted chocolate just waiting for you to dive in.
“Not like a date or anything. Just as a friend coming over for dinner.” I gave her a smile. I wouldn’t dare reject her after she had been so transparent with me.
“That sounds lovely.” I told her. I watched as her eyes lit up and she gave me that same bright smile she was wearing on Friday night.
“Awesome. Well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow- 6 okay with you?”
“I’m sure I could do that.” I told her nodding my head before I even answered.
“Alrighty then… I’ll see you then.” She turned on her heel and walked towards her car that was parked on the street. I looked down at the pavement trying to hide the goofy smile I’m sure I had on my face. For the first time since 1945 I had a date.
Prompt: Almost two years after the fight with Thanos Steve starts putting on meetings to help people who have lost someone. In doing so Steve takes an interest in a woman who comes to the meetings.
Warnings: Mostly just fluff to get ya introduced into the world.
Word Count: 3.9K
Author Notes: I hope y’all like this!! I recently re-watched Endgame and I couldn’t help but to wonder what Steve did in those five years lol So yeah… I’ve been having a great time writing this so please no hate. This is also a Slow Burn so it'll be a few chapters before the juicy stuff ;)
If you would like to listen along with the story here's the Spotify Playlist
Chapter 1
“Has anyone done anything different this week? I know last week we talked about maybe trying something new.”Steve asked the room full of 20 people. A few people spoke up with their new experiences. Going to a new coffee shop or taking a different route on their walk.
“It’s important that we keep living life and not dwell on what we lost. I know it’s hard to go out and try new things- especially now, but it’s a step.” Steve said, watching everyone nod their heads in agreement.
“Well as always anyone is welcome to stick around and chat if you need to if not I’ll see you next week.” He said closing the meeting he stood up taking his empty coffee cup to the trash. It had been a year and eight months since Thanos snapped his fingers making half the population disappear… And eight months since he started doing the meetings. Each time he gained another person but every now and then he lost some people as well. Steve couldn’t help but think about Sam while he held the meetings. He would’ve been better at these than he was and he would’ve always known the right things to say. Steve just hoped that he was helping some of them.
“Steve.” A woman said, breaking his train of thought. He turned around to face her, giving her a small smile when his eyes landed on her face. Her name was Raven. She had never missed a meeting in the eight months they had been going. She was actually one of the first people that ever attended the meetings.
“Yes ma’am” He said to her. He had to look down at Raven due to the fact that she was shorter than him. Though she never seemed that small to Steve; her personality and presence made up for her height. Even in these sad times that they were in she easily lit up a room. She was always making a joke or going the extra mile to make sure someone else was okay.
“A few of us are meeting at my house Friday night for drinks and maybe some board games.” She said to him,
“I’m sure you’re busy with… you know, hero stuff but I wanted to extend the invitation to you.” She told him. Raven did this often. Setting up gatherings for the people who just needed to feel some type of normalcy.
“I promise both Honey and Sugar will be around in case you get awkward.” She said letting out a small laugh. Steve raised an eyebrow at her.
“I don’t get awkward.” Steve said to her.
“Oh so we’re going to act like you don’t? Okay sure.”She said with another laugh.
“Am I that bad?” He asked her, letting himself laugh along with her.
“No… Not really. You’re just… Like us I guess- Broken. Lonely and sometimes I can tell you carry that guilt.” She said to him,Raven always hit the nail on the head no matter who it was. It took her a couple meetings to figure someone out but when she did she always knew what they were feeling. Steve gave her a small smile and a shrug.
“I think I had gotten better before all of this… Now I’m just trying to figure out how to keep going like everyone else.” He told her leaning his shoulder against the wall. Steve watched as her hazelnut colored eyes scanned his face. She gave him a small smile and placed her hand on his forearm.
“I know… That’s why I’m inviting you over for Friday night.” She said to him, giving his arm a squeeze right before she walked out of the room. Maybe he did need to go. She had invited him to a couple things before. Lunch at a restaurant, Breakfast at a coffee shop, she even invited him to a group movie but he never went. He always said that he was busy and he was. He wanted to go but something always held him back from making a true connection with them. Maybe because the last time he connected with people he ended up losing more than half of them.
“How’d the meeting go today?” Natasha asked Steve as he walked into the office.
“Good.” He said setting a brown paper bag down on top of the desk she was sitting out.
“That same girl there again?” She asked him raising her eyebrow at the bag.
“Which girl? There are several that come to the meetings.” Steve replied but he knew who she was talking about. She asked him every week if Raven was there.
“You know who. The super cute one” She said, giving him a coy smile.
“She’s always there.”He told her, as he took out two togo boxes from the bag.
“She actually invited me over to her place on Friday.” He told her.
“It’s about damn time you two went on a date.” Natasha said, taking one of the boxes from Steve.
“It’s not a date. She’s just putting together a little thing. She said that there would be games. I probably won’t go.” Steve admitted and Natasha rolled her eyes.
“For the life of me I don’t get why you don’t go. How many of these outings has she invited you to since you’ve known her?” She asked and without hesitation Steve answered.
“This would be 16.”
“And he’s keeping track! You should go.” Natasha told him opening the togo box of food.
“I’m busy.” He told her pulling up a chair to her desk.
“Busy doing what? I’m doing what you could be busy doing. Go!” She said
“Only if you go too.” He told her. He knew she was right. He didn’t really have a reason to not go.
“Nah… I’m too busy.” She said, cracking a smile at him.
Maybe he would go. He loved her dogs. He always looked forward to when she brought them to the meetings. He also liked the people that normally went to Raven’s outings. David was a quiet man but according to Raven he opened up in more comfortable settings. He had lost his husband in the blip. Abel was a good stand up guy. He had lost his wife in the blip; he normally helped set out the chairs at the meetings. Peyton was nice too, she was the most outgoing one in the group but she was thoughtful. She always brought homemade cookies to the meetings. She lost her girlfriend to the blip. Sophia was just as kind as the rest of them. She was a nurse who lost her fiancee. She never missed a meeting no matter if she worked the graveyard shift or not. And then there was Raven... She had such a sweet old soul... He didn’t know much about Raven other than she lost her twin brother and that she was a good person. He could tell that just by the way she talked to people. And how she filled the room with her voice when everyone else was too sad or scared to say anything. She often brought her dogs to the meetings because they were good therapy for everyone else. She didn’t seem like she would have ever harmed a soul.
Steve stood on the front porch of Raven’s home. It was bigger than he was expecting it to be. He was expecting an apartment, maybe even a townhouse but not an actual brick house. It looked like it was made for entertaining, like it was made to have a house full of people. He wondered if that’s why she had these get-togethers. He could hear soft background music playing inside the house along with laughter. He hadn’t heard any of them laugh before. He raised his hand to knock on her emerald green colored door but stopped himself. Why was he so uncomfortable with hanging out with them? What made him so ‘Awkward’ as Raven had said a couple days prior. He saw these people every week but he still only knew them on a surface level. Before he could knock he was greeted with a familiar face.
(Insert ‘You Won’t Know Where To Stand’ by Aquilo)
“Were you just going to stand on my porch?” Raven asked, looking up at him.
“I was going to knock.” Steve said, giving her a smile.
“Sure you were. I’m just glad you came this time.” She told him, reaching one arm up and giving him a hug. Awkwardly he snaked one arm around her waist and returned the hug. He hadn’t really noticed how small she was compared to him until this moment. She had a petite but curvy frame. She normally wore a bulky leather jacket or flannel when she came to the meetings but right now she was wearing a black Metallic shirt and jeans. Her normal boots were swapped out for black fluffy house shoes. Her chestnut curly hair was normally down falling over her shoulders but tonight it was pulled back into a ponytail. She looked more comfortable than she normally did.
“I didn’t really know if I needed to bring anything, but I brought a case of beer just in case.” He told her as he pulled away from her.
“Oh that’s perfect!''She told him, motioning her hand for him to come in. He stepped into the doorway looking around her home. His eyes wandered to the dining room that was to the right of home which had a table big enough to sit 12 and to the left of him was what looked like a sun room that held numerous plants.
“Here he comes!” A voice yelled which sounded like Sophia.
“Oh boy.. I know you know of Honey and Sugar but I don’t think we’ve talked about my other dogs.” Raven said, closing the door behind her and locking it.
“I hope you like dogs.” She told him as a large brown and tan doberman ran towards him.
“Phoenix no.” Raven said to the dog who was trying to get traction on the wooden floor. He stopped and sat. His ears pointed straight up as his eyes were glued to Raven waiting for her next words.
“I do.” Steve told her with a chuckle. He sat the case of beer down that he was holding and kneeled down to the ground. Raven nodded her head at Phoenix who didn’t take another second before he ran over to Steve licking his face and stiffing him.
“Hey boy.” Steve said to phoenix as he chuckled, petting him all over his back and head.
“I didn’t know you had more dogs than the girls.” Steve told Raven as he stood up.
“Yeah I have two boys and two girls.” She told him with a smile.
“Alright that’s enough. Go lay down.” Raven said and Phoenix gave Steve one last nudge before he took off down the same hall he came down.
“Wow.” Steve said with a small smile on his face. His previous nervousness had completely left him.
“I know. I’m crazy right?” She said and motioning her hand toward the hallway the dog came down.
“I already had Sugar and Hercules before the Blip. I got Honey and Phoenix afterward. They came from some of my clients that blipped… It felt wrong just letting them go to the shelter. So I brought them home with me.” She explained to him. He hadn’t ever asked her what she did for work. He was once again realizing that he didn’t know her personally. He knew that she loved her dogs and that she lost her brother. But that was it. But maybe to Raven that was enough. That was all the information she gave out.
“Everyone’s back here.” She said, Steve couldn’t get over how her home smelled like freshly baked cookies. The smell was just as inviting as the atmosphere.
“Look who’s here!” Raven chimed as she walked into the kitchen.
“Steve!” It sounded like everyone said it at once. He held up the case of beer that he brought.
“And he brought drinks!” Raven said laughing before she took the case from him to put it in the fridge.
“Make yourself at home.” She told him as she picked up her glass of wine that was sitting on the counter. Steve gave Raven a smile at her instructions and took in a breath. He looked down at the counter and saw a spread of snack food. His eyes landed on a platter of cookies.
“These wouldn’t be the same cookies that you bring to the meetings, Peyton?” Steve questioned as he eyed the snickerdoodle cookies that looked so very familiar to him.
“They sure are!” She answered with a smile, her soft southern accent coming in.
“I also made sugar and chocolate chip!” She told him.
“Well they look amazing.”He told her and he pulled off his jacket walking straight into the living room from the kitchen joining everyone else who was sitting on the sectional sofa. He looked over as he heard a deep growl coming from one side of the couch.
“Herc no.” Raven said sternly.
“I was wondering if he was gonna like Cap.” Abel said with a chuckle.
“That boy does not like men.” David said with a laugh as he lifted his beer bottle to his lip.
“No! That’s not true! He’s just letting everyone know that’s my seat.” Raven said from the kitchen.
“She’s lying.” David whispered out and Abel laughed. Steve let out a chuckle with them.
“Got it. I’ll just stay on this side of the couch then.” He said making his way around to the other side of the couch stealing an empty spot next to Sophia. She gave him a smile and slid over a bit so he would have more room.
“I can’t believe you actually came.” Sophia told him and he matched her smile.
“I’m glad I did. This seems nice.” He responded.
“Oh we have tons of fun. Raven is a great host.” She said, Steve could already tell. He had never seen these people seem so living. It was nice. They had light hearted moments during the meeting but for the most part they were solemn; there was always a sadness in the air that he just couldn’t put his finger on. But this was different. It reminded him how the avengers used to be in the beginning after they started to get along. Steve instincts tensed up when he felt someone come up from behind him and then saw a freshly opened bottle of beer in front of him
“Alright Steve, the rule is you have to either have your hand on a dog, food or a drink or you have to pull a card.” Raven instructed him as she handed him a beer over his shoulder.
"And believe me, You do not want to pull a card." She told him with a laugh, giving his shoulder a squeeze.
“Yes ma’am” He said with a chuckle. He felt his body relax once he felt her hand touch and squeeze his shoulder before she walked around the couch and sat down next to the rather large reddish tan dog that had his eyes glued to Steve.
“Hercules I’m guessing.” Steve pointed towards the dog. Raven now had her left hand on the dog while her right hand held her glass of wine. Her eyes seemed to twinkle and a bright smile crossed her lips. He could tell that she liked that he guessed the dog's name.
“You would be correct.” She said, Steve smiled back at her and lifted the bottle of beer to his lips. He watched how everyone was interacting with each other. He loved hearing their laughs, seeing their smiles and hearing their stories. He understood why they got together so often. They had made a family out of each other. It warmed his heart to see that from his meetings it made a group of strangers come together and create a bond. The night went on and more stories were told, belly laughs were shared, food was eaten. Somehow Honey, a fawn colored pitbull, had made her way into Steve’s lap. One by one everyone ended up leaving. It was just down to Steve, Raven and David.
“This feels familiar, doesn’t it?” David said as he pushed himself off the couch grabbing his plate and taking it into the kitchen.
“It does indeed.” Steve said as he reflected on the very first time that they all were together. The first first meeting he ever held eight months ago and it was just the three of them sitting in a circle.
“We’ve come a long way since then.” Raven said, her hand smoothing out Hercules’ fur.
“We have.” David agreed. The same silence that was always at the meetings started to step in.
“Well I better get home before my cat kills me. Steve it was so nice seeing you outside of that room” David said with a laugh trying to make up for the silence.
“Raven I’ll call you in the morning.” He said, giving her a tight hug. Steve got up and took his plate to the kitchen while Raven walked David to the door.
Steve’s POV
“So…” Raven started, I could hear her footsteps getting closer to me.
“You glad you came?” She asked me, hopping up on the island in the kitchen.
“I am. Thank you for inviting me.” I told her as I rinsed my plate off.
“Oh don’t worry about those. I’m going to put everything in the dishwasher.” She told me and I shook my head.
“It’s the least I can do.”
“I dunno, something feels wrong about having Captain America doing my dishes.” She said and I laughed.
“I wasn’t always that- I’ve done my fair share of dishes.” I told her.
“Well I guess if you want to, who am I to stop you?” She said with a chuckle. We both became silent while I washed my plate. I set it down on the drying rack that was next to the sink then I started on the other four plates that were sitting in there.
“Was I too awkward?” I asked her poking fun at a statement she had made the other day.
“No! God I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t really know why I said that.” She apologized and I glanced over my shoulder at her. She was looking down at her feet, her hands holding onto the white countertop she was sitting on. I turned back to look at the plate I was washing and let out a laugh.
“No you were right, I am awkward. I don’t think I said too much tonight.” I admitted.
“You seemed fine...it’s only because this was your first time hanging out with us. We’re different from how you’re used to seeing us.” She said and I nodded. They were different but I enjoyed seeing them like that. Made me feel like maybe having the meetings every week were actually doing some good.
(Insert ‘listen before I go’ by Billie Eilish)
“You really are good for them Raven. I remember everyone's face when they walked through those doors the first time. Seeing how they looked tonight- they almost looked like different people.” I said. My back was still to her but I could feel the seriousness set in the room. I could feel the bubbly energy that she had been putting off all night shift into a solemn one. The silence in the room was loud; loud enough for me to hear the music as if it was on full volume for the first time tonight.
“Yeah… we’re all still lost though. We’re better but we’re still in pain... Still missing the loves that we did have- Still needing that connection that we once had...” She finally said. Her voice was quieter and she became the same Raven that walked through the doors of the VA meeting room for the first time. Her voice was soft, monotone even as if she was holding back some hidden emotion.
“Sometimes that feeling never goes away.” I responded to her, turning the water off on the sink. I grabbed a paper towel and dried my hands off as I turned around to face her. I watched as her eyes looked into mine and then fell.
“When did you stop missing her?” Raven asked. I took in a breath and placed my hands on the countertop behind me. Leaning my weight against it.
“I don’t think I ever have.” I told her.
“I know my experience is different but I believe in a way it’s the same; when you have someone taken away from you unexpectedly- it’s hard not to miss them.” I told her and she nodded at me.
“Yeah…” She trailed off and the room became silent once more. I studied her face as I did earlier when she was sitting on the couch laughing. She was still broken. I could see her so clearly. My eyes fell to the floor as my guilt set in; My shame for not stopping Thanos. Did she lose someone closer to her than her brother and I just didn’t know? A lover or husband? The people she had made into her friends had all lost spouses, was Raven one of them as well? I took in a deep breath as I felt a wet nose nudge my hand. My eyes shifted to Sugar, Raven’s German Shepard. I smiled as I reached my hand down to pet the top of her head. She was easily my favorite out of the dogs Raven had. You could tell she was older than the rest but just as pure.
“You said that you got some of your dogs from work? I don’t think I’ve ever asked you what you do.” I told her and I saw the light in her pick back up.
“Oh I’m a Vet!” She said and I nodded at her answer. That job fit her perfectly.
“Makes sense.” I said.
“It’s always been the main thing keeping me going. I get to see cute pups and cats all day and if something is wrong I get to fix them.” She told me. That also fit her. She was selfless and a fixer.
“Are you analyzing me, Steve?” She asked with a smirk on her face.
“No.” I lied.
“I just realized that I have seen you every week for 8 months and I know nothing about you.” I told her.
“Well if you would come out more often you would know some things about me.” She told me and I agreed, she was right.
“I’ll come to the next one too.” I told her.
“It’s really okay, I’m just teasing.” She said with a laugh
“I mean it though. I think you were right. I needed this.”
“Well just like I always tell the gang, You’re always welcome in my home.” She said with a sincere smile.
“I appreciate that. Well let me get out of your hair.” I told her.
“Oh you’re perfectly fine.” She said as she slid off the counter.
“I really do enjoy the company. Before everything my brother and I lived together. I had a built-in best friend, you know? It’s different having a life that he’s not a part of.” She told me and I gave her my full attention while she spoke. It made sense why she always hosted dinners. As much as she did it for everyone else it was also for her.
“That being said, please don’t be a stranger. We all enjoyed having you here.” She told me, reaching both of her arms towards me for an embrace. I met her halfway pulling her frame to me.
“I won’t.” I told her, feeling her arms give me a tight squeeze. I let out a breath at how comforting her hugs were. She gave those types of hugs that only a mother could give. It reminded me of a familiar embrace- One I hadn’t had in a long time.
It’s almost funny how a woman instantly becomes a bitch or a whore when she turns down a man. The idea that maybe she’s in a happy relationship doesn’t even cross their mind. They just instantly go to calling her out of her name. Maybe she just wasn’t interested, does that really mean that someone should start rumors about her reputation? Personally I have had this happen to me many times especially with being in college and being a cocktail waitress. The amount of times I have had girls whistle at me, cat calling me to come over is slightly ridiculous. But I’m not that type of girl. I don’t find that flattering or appealing at all so most of the time I’ll ignore it but if someone gets to hands on and finds it appropriate to put their hand on one and I’m too blunt to let that slide so I’ll say something. No man likes being put in their place and it’s for them to “get revenge on me by making up stories about me” (Williams 118). There’s no wonder why when I met a man for the first time and after he gets to know me he’ll explain that he had bad things about me. How small someone must be to say something so hurtful about someone that they don’t even know all because they didn’t get their way. It’s childish really and unnecessary. But if a woman was to call a man a dick after them blowing her off she’s suddenly out of line.
There is a beautiful song by Banks called “Changed”. The whole song is about an abusive relationship and every time he hits her puts her down emotionally she’ll always try to leave and then he’ll beg her to stay. He’ll tell her that he’s going to change and he won’t do it again. But isn’t that lie? It’s just a pharse that sounds good at the time. Just something to say to get her to come back to him. I won’t do it again. But that’s also a lie, probably nine times out of ten he’s more than likely to abuse her again. He may love her but how much does he really love her if he hits her whenever he loses a poker game. Even something as simple as man handling while he’s trying to tell her something; grabbing her with both hands and shaking her. Throwing plates and cups down onto the floor so that they shatter and break when he’s trying to get his point across. I’m not exactly sure if a person can change all of that. There’s no wonder why your “baby doll has left” you after pulling stunts like that. (Williams 59). She should have left you way before now. But just like most women who fall victim to abuse Stella goes right back to Stanly after hearing his cry for her. There’s something almost enticing about having someone call out for you like. To have someone beg you to come back to them. It’s that sense of wanted to be needed. To have someone need you like their life depended on it. That makes it easier to ignore the bruises. Because he he could change, couldn’t he? Or is that just lie?
Netflix has a new show called 13 Reasons Why and within that show there are few scenes that discuss rape. Yet again proving how prominent rape culture still is today because the show is suppose to be taken place in recent times. But yet a term that is somewhat old is still being used. “She was making eyes at me.” What does that saying even mean? What does making eyes even mean? Because I personally have been told by a male that I was leading him on by making eyes at him. When in reality all I was doing was just smiling because I’m a nice person. But to some men niceness is taking as flirting and as a sign saying that I want you. Never does the thought cross some men’s mind that maybe she’s just smiling and looking at me because I was looking first. Which is actually something that happened within this show on Netflix. This teenage girl was in a hot tub by herself and the boy who lived at house got in with her. She looked up at him and he gave her a smile so she returned it. Not once did she give him a look of desire but he took her polite smile and exchange of eye contact as a yes. He didn’t even ask permission he just made a move and assaulted her. Apparently it’s perfectly fine if a woman doesn’t voice opinion on the matter because even if “her mouth says no her eyes say yes” (Hwang 62). But when her eyes are full of tears with a look desperation that doesn’t mean no either. You would think that full on hearing the word no would be enough but it’s not. And when questioned if the man had permission from the woman he’ll say that she wanted him because she was making eyes at him.
There is this world that some people don’t know about it. The world of role playing- which by no means is it the kinky bedroom fad. To a writer role playing is a way to sharpen their skills and to connect with others who also have a passion for writing. A writer will put one or more of their characters onto the role playing website and another writer will ask, if they are interested in the character, if the two would like to write together. Then they’ll plot out a story and from there the two writers are able to collaborate in a epic storyline of their two characters. This happens to be something that I do and have been doing for years now. I heard once that if you wanted to be a writer than you should write everyday and role playing is the easiest way to get your writing time in. It also helps a writer think on their feet because you never know what the other writer is going to spend back and you have to respond to that. But what is mysterious about this world is that no one knows who the person behind the screen is. They don’t know if it’s a male or a female writer, young or old. Nothing. All you’re received is well written novella style replies. It’s almost become a game between us writers to try and figure out the gender of the other writers. What is ironic is that more often than not writers who write for their female characters happen to be men“ because only a man knows how a woman is suppose to act” (Hwang 49). Just how Song fooled Rene that he was actually a man in M. Butterfly, these writers also do it flawlessly. One wouldn’t think that a man would be behind the screen of a female character because it’s written so well but I suppose that just shows off their skill. While it seems that men can easily write as a women, women can also write for a man. I personally have many male characters that I write for and to my own surprise my fellow writers thought for years that I was a man. It’s funny how members of the opposite sex can write as the other. What does that say about our society? That a man can play the idea of a perfect woman and vice versa for a woman.
Why do women apologize so much? When did that become a phrase that is commonly used? Maybe it was taught when we’re young that children are to be been seen and not heard and then to apologize when they are heard. Maybe that thought process just carries on until your adult life. You just get so used to saying sorry that it becomes a habit that hard to break. A man could bump into a woman and she would apologize before he could even utter the words I’m sorry- that’s if he was going to say them. The woman tends to think that things are her fault. That she has to make herself seem smaller for a man. That being apologetic is somehow attractive and. and that being helpless and defenseless is how to get a man. Women apologize for everything that they do. They would breathe a certain way and right on cue an apology will come out. The quote from David Henry Hwang’s M. Butterfly “What are you apologizing ror now?” is a question that I tend to ask women when I hear them apologize for something that they shouldn’t be saying for. (Hwang 26). Why are you apologize? Because society has taught you to be that way? Though I’m one to talk because I apologize for my whole life but why do I do that? Why do any of us do that?
There is such a thing known as the five languages of love. Those being physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and last but not least gift giving. Some people acknowledge that someone loves them by their significant other telling them or touching them or even spending time with them but for other people they don't understand that someone wants them romantically unless they are showered with gifts. This love language is obviously known as gift giving which reminds me of the poem "One Perfect Rose" and more specifically the line "Why is it no one ever sent me yet One perfect limousine, do you suppose?" (Dorothy Parker 9). I don't think there is anything wrong with having your partner or potential mate buy you something. But to not understand that someone is interested in you or that they want to pursue you until they buy you something extravagant is a bit ridiculous to me. Maybe it's because my love language is touch and words of affirmation. I personally know someone who will truly does not believe that a man is willing to commit to her unless she has some sort of "proof". Not saying that she demands for others to buy her gifts but because that's just how to associates that with love. To someone else a rose would be a thoughtful gift and a positive notion that this person would like to court them but to others that's just not enough. Whether that be because they are a bit bratty and expect that or because that's what they need to feel loved.
Queen of Heartts @queenofheartts-love - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
