Te quiero mucho

[badjokesbyjeff]

A woman asked an army general when he'd last made love 

The general thought for a moment and said, "1956."

She gasped. "That long? Come with me — I'll make your night better."

They went back to her apartment and made passionate love for over an hour.

Afterwards she cuddled up to him and said, "Well, you sure haven't forgotten anything since 1956."

The general looked at her, confused, and said, "I sure hope not, it's only 21:30."

[queer-quilll]

This joke will only be good for 375 more years. Reblog now you still can.

[tansytaseis]

how it feels to be playing Character with your friend

[goth-queen]

[only-cat-memes]

[apofiss]

Auroral✨ ...phone, iPad and desktop wallpaper! LINK!

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[badjokesbyjeff]

A man foolishly asked his wife why she kept staring out of the window. 

Taking a very deep breath she replied, "I'm really fed up with the state of Mrs Brown's blinds. Mrs Perkins' aren't much better. And that Mrs Lewis - scruffy cow. Look at them - filthy. They're just not house proud like me. Dirty blinds are such an eyesore. If you were a real man you'd go over and get them to do something about it. In fact, you must - I won't stand for it any longer."

"I'll tell you what," her husband said as he peered through the window beside her, "I'll see what I can do."

The following morning, she approached him, beaming.

"I can't believe it. The blinds. They're all immaculate. What did you say to those women?"

"Nothing," he told her, "I just cleaned the window."

[dream-based-lifeform]

This reminded me of the time my dad's wife panicked in the shower that she was starting to go blind and when he rushed in to help her he found she was wearing her glasses.

[queer-quilll]

That one time as I was about to take a shower, took my shirt off and instantly went blind. I was fucking hysterical as I couldn't see anything at all, just all black. Then I heard my father downstairs scream: " Power is back!"