Third Times The Charm: How I Got My Book Deal, A Blessed Yet Cursed Journey 📗🍎
It finally happened. I got my book deal for my first-ever debut, Dear Environmentalist. But before the celebration, there were a lot of no's. It took me three tries to get it right...
If you had asked me when I was a kid if I would be writing a book, I’d probably laugh at you. You see, my writing skills and ability to communicate were often met with lots of red marks, question marks, and severe grammatical errors. I would read endless workbooks in the classroom and was constantly confused by the number of rules in English writing. I felt so helpless in my educational journey.
Appositive statements, indefinite adjectives, prepositional phrases, and so on are still a blur for me when people ask me to define them. You see, I realized at a young age that my writing abilities were not indicative of being low-income, but rather, the way I learned and digested materials was different from my peers. I often daydreamed, zoned out, and had difficulty paying attention unless a teacher would sit me in the front and make me focus. At parent conferences, the teachers would share that I could speak eloquently; however, it was not being reflected in my writing, and they worried about my poor writing skills.
My siblings, on the other hand, were far more talented than I was. They were always able to understand concepts smoothly, having the language to describe their feelings and emotions on paper, and being overall better at being descriptive. I knew my writing journey was going to be challenging, and it became one of my most significant sensitivities compared to other subjects, such as science, math, theory, or art. I always had a love-hate relationship with writing.
In college, I remember one of the most embarrassing moments of my academic career. I was taking a college writing course for my freshman year, and my first-ever essay assignment was in a class of 17 people. The professor slowly called everyone's name one by one at the end of the class, until I was the last, and then he told me to see him after class. He told me, Let’s take a walk. And slowly, he explained to me that he didn’t want to grade my paper because it was poorly written.
He asked why I was able to articulate my thoughts so clearly in my voice but not on paper. I shrugged, saddened because deep down, I knew I was a terrible writer and that the world would be harsh. But I knew that the only option was to continue pushing. Even though I was embarrassed by my horrible writing skills, I had to persevere and find a way to tell better stories. I had to revise it not once, but three times, until he finally accepted the paper and gave me a B- on my essay. I experienced this multiple times during my academic career, where professors would refuse to grade my paper until I had made the necessary revisions. It was only on my third attempt that I got it right.
I took multiple tutoring services to improve my writing, and it seemed that every time, I was getting worse at writing. It wasn’t until I was outside in landscapes from the forest floors to the deep ocean that I felt alive. I thought that I was able to translate and formulate solid writing pieces that helped give my life meaning. When I wrote my senior thesis for my undergraduate environmental science program, my professor told me that my writing wasn’t adequate compared to my peers.
While his words crushed me, he then continued to compare me to his other brilliant students and how much their research was more advanced than what I had attempted during my undergraduate studies. I honestly felt like a failure, and I remember telling myself that it was going to be a challenging academic year, but that I had to believe in my abilities. You see, the only way I learned how to grow was to be doubted, displaced, and told that it was simply not good enough. It became toxic. It destroyed my academic self-esteem, as there was never a single day when I said to myself, 'I am not a good writer or researcher.'
But I didn’t give up, I continued to fight. I asked my friends to review and provide suggestions for my paper. I re-read my thesis out loud to ensure that what I was writing made sense. While my thesis required more than three revisions, I recall the three distinctive meetings I had with my professor, where he critically challenged me to think beyond. When I finished my senior thesis, they shared that they only said those things to me because they believed I was a talented writer, and it was the only way for me to learn. But such punishment styles developed an unhealthy mindset for me that to this day I still struggle to find the words to call myself a writer…
Environmental Media & Communications On QueerBrownVegan
When I created QueerBrownVegan back in 2019, I started to fall in love with writing. It’s where I could break the rules in writing. I didn’t care about structure or formality. I was an infographic account, and I only showed myself once, in my introductory post. At the time, my ex-partner and I would spend our weekends together working at his office or at cafes, where I would delve into academic research papers to prepare my post on how I wanted to craft my materials.
I was honestly shocked that people wanted to learn about environmental education because QBV was my dream project; it wasn’t a platform. It was me trying to understand the world online. My ex-partner was a supportive person in my writing endeavors and often claimed that this would help improve my writing self-esteem, while also encouraging me to take pride in developing my writing skills. Slowly and surely, my following grew, and more people wanted to learn about environmental education, looking to my platform as a source of introductory, accessible education. However, I believe what sets me apart from other environmental educational accounts is that I would tie my cultural lens to my personal experiences.
It’s almost as if I were telling different stories within a central narrative. My colorful infographics became popular, and compliments from strangers helped me continue writing. I started to forget about the feelings of being told I was a horrible writer and began to adopt some positive values towards my writing. And don’t get me wrong; I had moments where my followers would correct me, or my ex-partner would give me sharp feedback to help me improve my posts. I didn’t know if this would be my full-time job, and I didn’t even think it would lead to writing a book.
How I Got Scouted To Write A Book
By 2021, the QBV platform had gained significant online reach. I also had a small blog on my website, where I discussed various topics related to climate change, culture, and research, exploring different dimensions of my life. I had gotten impressive reach through SEO, and by the Spring of 2021, I received a strange email from my agent.
She said she was a huge fan and wanted to ask if I had ever considered writing a book. I thought the email was fake. I laughed when I read the email and I tried to respond to her that I was not interested immediately. In my head, I was genuinely confused why someone would even consider me when my writing was never perfect, it had lots of grammatical errors, and sometimes it didn’t make sense to people. And I grew up my entire life being told my writing was bad, so I didn’t believe someone could see me writing a book. So, for an established agent who loved my work after reviewing my profile, it shocked me.
When we hopped on a call to meet, it seemed pretty normal. I shared with my agent what I was doing, how she found me, and why she thought I could write a book. I explained to her that I don’t know much about the publishing world. How do things work? And what does an agent do?
Literary agents focus on a few things.
Pitching your book proposal to imprints that are owned by publishing companies, from both the Big 5 to smaller independent ones, finding you the best
Making sure your book proposal is up to industry standards and the correct format
Preparing your interviews with editors or team members at an imprint if you have a callback
Tracking the progress of your book proposal and letting you know if there are any updates
Emotionally supportive cheerleader: This is the best one. Depending on who your agent is, I had someone who obviously didn’t want to give up on me.
While there are other experiences of authors going directly through publishers or publishers reaching out to authors to be pitched a book, I am someone who went with a literary agent. I recall the day I signed with my literary agent in 2021, and I told my boyfriend at the time that I was finally excited to get the ball rolling. In my head, I thought I was going to get a book deal the following year (which was too ambitious a goal for me).
The Process Of Writing A Book Proposal
Once I had signed my agreement, I began writing the book proposal immediately. It was brutal. I remember being so stuck on what book I wanted to read and its title. And to be honest, I feel that it was a tough one to unpack. My first proposal idea was rooted in concepts of culture, ecology, and love. I remember thinking it was going to be called ‘Tears of Endearment: Ecological Scars Of Love’. During my time writing my first book proposal, my ex-partner and my ex-best friend saw me through the process of writing my proposal in the living room, where I often wrote.
It took me maybe around a solid year to flesh out a proper proposal while trying to balance my career. But things had changed by then. By the time I submitted my first proposal, I had become single, and one of my biggest supporters, who had helped anchor my emotions during the process, was no longer there. My ex-best friend at the time, I remember, came over and hugged me when I submitted my proposal in my New Jersey apartment. And they told me they knew it was an emotional process, but that they were proud of me for making it so far.
By the Fall of 2022, I received my first few call-backs from a few imprints and numerous NOs, but I don’t know the exact number. I think my literary agent did a good job of not telling me, as rejections are hard to hear. In my imprint calls with the Big 5, the interviews were unique. I had met some potential people who may have been my editors. And it was a great experience to learn. You sometimes would vibe with the editors and sometimes you didn’t. Ultimately, some teams rejected me because the proposal did not align with their values, or sometimes it was due to issues with the digital platform, or even because I was not large enough in the environmental space. I received one R&R (Revise and Resubmit) from one publisher that seemed promising, but to be honest, I was left with either trying to convince them or gutting the proposal and starting over. My health began to take a turn, and I started getting sick.
And so by 2023, I gutted my proposal and with a crushing defeat, I took time off to think about my book proposal. My agent knew I was hurt and that I had to take a break. By mid-2023, I began to conceptualize my second book proposal. The original title was “Ecological Wealth: The Path For A Holistic World,” and I started to integrate old concepts with new ones, marrying them into a more educationally focused, less spiritual, and more research-based book.
A lot of things came up during this year, and I was still grieving my past life. I was trying to figure out who I was after my second relationship. I didn’t like how I looked. I was trying to make sense of where my career was headed. I felt a bit broken inside. My sickness reigned in my body, but I tried my best to have a positive outlook. I traveled extensively around the world, foraged for mushrooms, visited friends across states during the summer, and worked on refining the proposal. It was my friends who helped me get back on track with my goals.
By January 2024, I had almost given up. I recall that I had considered telling my agent that I wanted to terminate my contract, or at least put it on hold. She had shared with me that she was going to be in Los Angeles and tried to take me to dinner. It was a rainy, dark evening, and I was prepared to share with her privately that I didn’t know if I was smart enough to write a book. We talked for hours. And she told me, I know it hasn’t been easy, and I want to say I believe in you. I teared up because I said, Thank you. I said it’s hard when people believe in you, but you sometimes don’t believe in yourself. I told her, I don’t think I’m meant to write a book. And she told me to keep trying.
I’ve always been a fighter my entire life, for better or worse. And I reflected on the times I had failed throughout my educational career and the number of poor grades I got. I told myself that I had to believe all those failures and closed doors were redirections, allowing me to try one more time. I told myself, okay, one more final try before I close the chapter.
I retrieved my laptop, opened Google Docs, and began writing again, even though it was hard for me to look at my rejections. So, my literary agent did her magic and began resubmitting. By then, I knew I had a few months off, as I was aware that it took me around 2-3 months to hear back from imprints. But during that time, it was another arduous journey. I decided to end my friendship with one of my ex-best friends after realizing that you cannot help people who do not wish to be helped. It hurt me a lot because I have rarely ended friendships. But it was going to help me after I realized I had poured my heart into trying to fix someone who wanted to remain broken in their life. It seemed like, despite everything going on in the world, that two of the most important people in my life were now gone, and I felt alone.
By the end of 2024, I had received a callback from my imprint, Timber Press, which is owned by Hachette Book Group. And I instantly clicked with my editor, who believed in me. She loved everything about the book, and the team was excited for what was going to happen. However, another challenge arose, which was that she wanted me to do an R&R, and I felt scared again instantly. It was my second time being told that I was close, but I wasn’t there yet. In my third attempt, I spent my 2024 holidays rewriting my proposal.
At the beginning of 2025, I woke up from a terrible dream. I had dreamed of my health worsening. I had imagined a crumbling democracy. My heart was beating fast from a nightmare. But I knew at 3 AM that I felt something scary inside. A profound change, but also that my body was letting me know it wasn’t doing well. I was becoming sicker, and this was the year to continue pursuing answers to have a proper diagnosis. I also felt in my heart that this was going to be a challenging year with my Saturn Return beginning later in April. From health, career, and spiritual perspectives, I knew deep down that this year was going to be challenging and that I had to look inward rather than outward to get me through some of my biggest challenges. Tucker, my little white fluffy dog, always knew when I was scared; he would sit next to me to make sure I felt safe.
After I ended the chapter with my ex-best friend, I was scared to meet new people. I no longer knew who would be a friend or a foe. I had lost trust in being open to anyone after reevaluating people in my industry who had often tried to befriend me so they could gain proximity to my networks. I had enough scars on my back to remind me that there was only pain to be met with people who attempted to be friends with me who were opportunistic.
In early January, before the Los Angeles Wildfires, I was watching Bridgerton when Lady Whistledown addresses her guests as “Dearest Gentle Reader,” and it made me realize. My new book proposal that was being revised would be called “Dearest Environmentalist, or Dear Environmentalist,”. I wanted it to be endearing and sweet, almost as if it brings comfort to someone who may not know what they are delving into.
I wanted it to be a book on guiding readers through an informative, cultural, and endearing message. I thought about younger Isaias and the ways he wished he could’ve learned not through being screamed at by parents or adopting a toxic mindset of telling himself he wasn’t smart, but something that people can look up to, hold close to their hearts, and remind them that the journey of life is never meant to be done alone.
When the Los Angeles wildfire erupted and destroyed over 11,000 residential and commercial buildings, it felt like the beginning of the end for residents. But people came together, and my city of angels manifested itself to make sure everyone was being fed, clothed, and protected during a time of disaster. When I submitted my book proposal in late January, when the fires ended, I felt broken and a bit scared for the future. I wrote on my whiteboard with my black marker, “This is the year you will be offered a book deal with X Publisher.” When we resubmitted my book proposal to my editor, there was a period to wait, so I remember counting the days and weeks as they passed.
Later in March, I received fantastic news when I heard back from grad school. They loved the proposal and would be coming back with a deal. And I remember crying on the phone with my agent. I told her I couldn’t believe that it was happening. It felt like since 2021, I had been fighting to get a deal, and I had these expectations of getting things done earlier. However, this year felt different, almost as if the universe had told me that I was now ready to write the book.
After receiving the deal memo with the logistics of percentages and advancement, it took a while for the lawyers to review the materials before a proper contract was developed. During this time, I began to pre-write and prepare how I would debut the book in the world. It wasn’t until later in the early Summer that I was able to announce my deal. I thought about all the struggles I went through, the three attempts I made to get there. I remember opening up older journals and pulling out photos of when I began my writing journey, the rejections I received, and mini vlogs I filmed in my New Jersey apartment, with my ex-best friend and ex-partner cheering me on. They were the ones who believed in me, and now they were gone. And I was going to be alone in this new chapter of writing my book.
At the same time, being chronically ill has had its ups and downs. I’ve faced a lot of mismanagement in healthcare, having to be denied twice trying to find a geneticist as they are unable to test for the disease my doctors suspect I have. And it has taken months to finally find a third geneticist whom I hope will test in my network. My list of specialist doctors includes a neurologist, cardiologist, pulmonologist, and rheumatologist. It’s been frustrating to go through all of this while also pouring pieces of my heart into specific chapters of my book.
There was one chapter I had to write a few months ago, where I cried while writing about sharing my personal story. Because I forgot that writing can bring back wounds from the past and that it could be emotionally charging. As I sit alone in the doctor's office, a room filled with elderly people, I am reminded of how short life can be. Instead of leaning into despair, I find that writing is one thing I can lean on during times of illness, which helps me feel a sense of purpose.
However, I know that the only way for me to continue learning and opening my heart in this world is to slowly peel back the layers that I’ve been shedding and accept my new life—recognizing that timelines are not linear and that I am someone who has embedded the mantra, third times the charm, into my work. I was not the student who got things right on the first or second try. But it was the third try that reminded me never to be embarrassed. Because what people see online is the success that it took to be publicly embarrassed, whether it was professionally, academically, or on social media.
If you'd like to support my upcoming debut book, Dear Environmentalist, consider becoming a paid supporter or contacting me at [email protected] to discuss sponsoring my book tour or purchasing books when the pre-order link becomes available in the future.
Suggestions For Writing A Book
I’m very fortunate to be in a position where I've found an agent and imprint that truly values my work and experience. Here are a few tips I give to people.
Continue to publish your work on your media platforms or your personal blog website. You never know who will be finding your work. My agent found me on my blog, not on my Instagram. And once she learned about my platform, she realized that I had the potential to write a book through the educational thought pieces I had written. Even if some of my posts or writing were not the best, it’s not about perfection but rather your consistency of being out there as a writer.
Never be embarrassed about your ideas or writing style. Put anything you believe out there online. That’s one of the things I was never scared to do because at the end of the day, it’s my writing and nobody can take that away from me.
I didn't query an agent, and I didn’t know how to write a book proposal. Find an agent who believes in you and will show up unconditionally for you.
Build authentic relationships with people who have written a book. They often offer great insights and tips on how to approach the writing process. Please do not ask people to connect you with a publisher or agent unless you have built a solid relationship with them.
Go outside and write. I got a lot of my creativity not from writing at home but from being outside at times. It helped me articulate a lot of my thoughts on paper, whether the writing was good or bad.
The Big 5 is not the end-all be-all. I have other friends who have done smaller publications or even indie ones. I was fortunate to be with the Big 5, but that also came from a lot of hard work and numerous rejections behind the scenes.
