Jules of Nature
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
wallacepolsom
trying on a metaphor
roma★
shark vs the universe
@theartofmadeline
hello vonnie
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Stranger Things
will byers stan first human second
Cosimo Galluzzi
titsay
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
if i look back, i am lost
Kaledo Art
Misplaced Lens Cap
seen from United States
seen from Denmark
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seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Denmark
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
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@queercodedmoss
call me voi, any pronouns idc. not a minor
this used to be a dsmp stan account but i'm outta that now because it's literally the most unhinged fandom. largely in a bad way.
now i just rb whatever's there. sometimes politics
also i make art sometimes but probably not gonna post any of it here anymore.
tags to mute if you wanna:
first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horses’ tails to stir up dust and make it look like there’s a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isn’t any dust and the enemy can clearly see there’s like twenty of us all spread out in a line
second day as a second century warlord i bribe a bunch of kids to start singing a nursery rhyme i carefully crafted to spread misinformation and further my strategic ends but they change the lyrics to be about poop and the enemy isn’t misdirected at all
third day as a second century warlord i lure my enemy into a narrow valley and send a team of archers to shoot them from the high ground but there was a feral hog napping on the trail up to the overlook and they couldn’t decide whether to try and shoot it or just go around and by the time the hog woke up and left on its own the enemy had already passed safely below
fourth day as a second century warlord we attempt to join a battle on the side of the guy we want to ally with but he and the guy he’s fighting have really similar names and it’s finally dusty and i misread the standards and attack the wrong guy. so now we’re stuck with this total loser of a liege lord, because how the fuck do you explain that after a battle?
fifth day as a second century warlord and some sort of wizard wanders into camp, my loser liege lord wants to execute him for being a wizard but i convince him to let the wizard stay, because i want to do more weather-based strategies and i’m pretty sure having a camp wizard can help with that. after the welcome to the team banquet the wizard steals half the treasury and my liege lord’s wife and leaves
sixth day as a second century warlord my loser liege lord sends me to reinforce a city he’s taken, but in the confusion of leaving i forgot to take the token that would have gotten us into the city, so my men have to wait outside the city walls for like eight hours while i ride back to get it
seventh day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord finally joins me in the city, it turns out he’s actually a pretty cool guy, and he isn’t even that mad at me for letting the wizard steal his wife. i decide to shoot my shot but i’m really nervous and keep on stalling because what if i mess up our relationship and by extension jeopardize the security of my men, and eventually he just says goodnight and goes back to his room, where an assassin is in the process of setting up to kill him
eighth day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord tells me to fake defect to his rival warlord, the one i originally wanted to ally with, to find out if he was the one who sent the assassin and why. but my whole way over to the rival warlord i’m worried that this has something to do with the wizard thing or how awkward i made it last night
ninth day as a second century warlord i try to tactfully ask my fake liege lord if he sent the assassin to kill my loser liege lord and it turns out the idea of using assassins never occurred to him, but now that i’ve suggested it he’s really into it. in order to save my loser liege lord i volunteer to be the one to kill him
tenth day as a second century warlord on my way back to my loser liege lord’s city i realize i won’t be able to collect my men from my fake liege lord until i bring back my loser liege lord’s head. this would have been a great thing to think of before i got myself in this situation. i go back to my loser liege lord and ask him to rescue my men, and he tells me that if he could sack my fake liege lord’s camp he already would have. that doesn’t change the fact that my men are still trapped. they’re prisoners, even. i go back to my room to sulk
eleventh day as a second century warlord i find a little caged pigeon in the rafters of my loser liege lord’s room and deduce it belonged to the assassin. without asking permission or telling my loser liege lord goodbye i let the pigeon loose and follow it north. don’t ask what i was doing in my loser liege lord’s room. it’s not important
twelfth day as a second century warlord i disguise myself as a wizard and enter the camp of the coalition leader the pigeon led me to. in the middle of my little sleight of hand performance i make eye contact with the coalition leader’s second-in-command. IT’S THE WIZARD THAT STOLE MY LOSER LIEGE LORD’S WIFE. after the banquet i corner the fake wizard and ask him what the fuck is going on and he just says “wouldn’t you like to know” and leaves. i don’t know what to say to that so i just let him go
thirteenth day as a second century warlord i’m honestly so sick of not knowing what’s going on, so i adjust my wizard costume to passably disguise myself as a woman and break into the women’s area of the camp, where sure enough my loser liege lord’s wife is. i ask her what she’s doing here and she tells me the fake wizard overheard her singing a poem she overheard on the street, not knowing it contains the coalition leader’s formation’s weaknesses. the fake wizard kidnapped her and assigned an assassin to kill her husband before they figured out the poem’s significance. she shares the first couplet with me but i’m discovered and thrown out before she can share any more. she doesn’t need to. through a bizarre coincidence of homophones, it’s the poop version of my misinformation nursery rhyme
fourteenth day as a second century warlord i go back to my loser liege lord and tell him everything, urging him to join with my fake liege lord to attack the coalition leader according to the weaknesses in the nursery rhyme. he tells me frankly that he doesn’t trust me anymore. i ask him to execute me if that’s really true, because i can’t bear to live if i can’t protect him and i can’t protect my men. he agrees to attack the coalition leader
fifteenth day as a second century warlord. due to the information in the nursery rhyme, and thanks to my loser liege lord reminding me of the weather conditions multiple times while planning our battle strategy, our alliance carries the day. my loser liege lord gets his wife back. my men tell me that our fake liege lord actually treated them really well and they’d like to stay with him if i don’t mind. i do mind, now that neither the men i love nor the man i love have any use for me, but i don’t tell them that
sixteenth day as a second century warlord i’m preparing to leave to i don’t know where, maybe to try to become a wizard for real, when my loser liege lord stops me and asks me where i’m going. he says he had hoped i would continue to work as his advisor. i was unaware i was his advisor in the first place. i agree, and he tells me he’s truly honored to have me in his service at last. he has known i am a rare and talented man with a strategic intelligence far above his ever since the day he witnessed me tying branches to my horses’ tails in six inches of mud, and could not for the life of him figure out why
Critical background info on our beloved second century warlord
there is a certain point in life where you realize healthy advice is not always realistic. when you realize sometimes violence is the only answer and sometimes you have to hurt people's feelings and sometimes manipulation is just how things work. and this will be the same time that life is most beautiful to you and you will realize that you have to protect yourself and your vision and your love against a very rotten world but it doesn't matter because your corner is beautiful.
what was your first horror game?
Resident Evil
Silent Hill
Fatal Frame
Dead Space
Outlast
The Evil Within
Alone in the Dark
Five Nights at Freddy's
An RPG maker game (Ib, The Witch’s House, Mad Father, etc.)
Something not listed (put in the tags!)
** These include all games in their respective series, so say if your first horror game was Resident Evil 4, then you'd vote for Resident Evil :)
BALD GUY FIGHT ROUND 1
Matt (Wii Sports) vs Uncle Fester (The Addams Family)
Matt
Uncle Fester
This question and its answer from The New York Times work advice column is W I L D.
gaslight. (baby)gatekeep. girlboss.
got read to filth last night
Pet comms open again :]c .. 6 slots left get a drawing of your guy if you want
i bring a sort of hot oil to the sink that landlords don't really like
every time theres a new bad tv show or movie people act like its the end of the world you guys need to learn about the not watching shit method i’ve been successfully employing the not watching shit method for years
This tag deserves to be seen
wait wait okay i’ve got one
fav tumblr meme?
children’s hospital/color theory
color of the sky
plinko horse
eeby deeby
live slug reaction
ps5
i put your boyfriend in [x]
vanilla extract
apollo’s dodgeball
other (say in tags)
I genuinely think @staff should give us an official Bot Kill Count where it ticks up every time a bot you reported is officially taken off by the tumblr team and when you hit a certain number you get gruesome little trophies. Gamification can be of the devil but in this particular case I need a little treat for doing my daily chore of taking out the trash
i keep seeing those "your cishet golden retriever gamer boyfriend does not respect your identity as an afab trans person, they only see you as afab" tiktoks and all the comments are like "not me tho, y'all stay safe!" YES YOU. go look at how your boyfriend talks about you to his friends. it's all "girlfriend" and "she". he does not use your pronouns when you aren't there. he sees your identity as a quirk, something that can be overlooked for your other qualities.
oh how the turn tables. told the new boyfriend that i am not a woman even if he thinks of me as one and i know he read my text three hours ago :')
nvm he said he's going to use other pronouns and he wants to make sure i'm not uncomfortable. he wants to learn more about the complexity of gender (his words). i have good taste
haha bad news guys !!
Me every damn day
ID: The penguins from Madagascar waving, text reads
Just report and block boys
Report and block /End ID
