A Queer Movie Christmas

A review blog for Queer Christmas media

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Welcome to A Queer Movie Christmas!

Have you ever found yourself saying “I wish they made queer versions of those cheesy Christmas movies” ?

Good news, they do! 

Now, are those movies worth watching? Well that’s another question entirely

This blog is space for me to discuss two of my passions, queer media and Christmas movies and how they come together. I’ll review the ones I’ve seen, and hopefully put some others on your radar.

Welcome and enjoy

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The Christmas House 2

Title: The Christmas House 2: Deck Those Halls Year: 2021 Media: TV Movie Network: Hallmark Rated: TV-G Category: Ensemble Queer Rep: mlm Starring: Johnathan Bennett, Brad Harder, Robert Buckley, Treat Williams

  Plot Synopsis: “Excited for a calm Christmas, Mike Mitchell unexpectedly gets roped into a Christmas house-decorating reality TV show against his brother Brandon.”

Thoughts: Sequels to TV-movies are generally pretty iffy. You can read my review of the first Christmas House movie here. This one was fine, but not quite as good the first movie. The talking head reality-show interviews only worked for me about half the time. Though like the first one it knew when to be emotional and when to be silly. 

I was not impressed that after apparently one bad year Mike decided to retire The Christmas House. I know they needed a plot for this one, but the entire first movie was about how important that tradition was, so I felt a little cheated.

But I’m sure you’re all wondering about the million dollar question, was it gayer than the first one? And the answer is...maybe?

Brandon, the gay brother, definitely gets more focus in this movie. However his plot is more about his sibling rivalry, his inability to strike a good work/life balance, and his fears about being over shadowed. It’s not really focused on his relationship with his husband. There is a Judy Garland joke, and we get to see Brandon and Jake being cute Dads. Also I’m choosing to believe that all of Brandon’s feelings about Mike always getting more attention were actually meta references to the gay people criticizing the first one for not being gay enough. Brandon did have a really nice speech about feeling like he has to be perfect at everything as a gay man to prevent people from judging him. That’s a message I feel like the average Hallmark viewer needs.

Mike’s plot was about figuring out to be a good step Dad and less about his romance. This also made the movie seem gayer, because it was less of straight romance plot up against the gay plotline. And I’m glad that the parents seem to be keeping their marriage on track after the bumps in the first one #Billis. 

Treat Williams makes some hilarious sex jokes/references that had me asking “Are we still on Hallmark Channel?”

The adorable sibling rivalry from before really gets to turned to 11 in the sequel, to the point where you’re almost worried for them, but it was still funny. If you liked The Christmas House, you’ll probably enjoy The Christmas House 2: Deck Those Halls.

Rating: 3.5 candy canes

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Did everyone see this awesome Norwegian advertisement featuring a gay Santa? 

It’s called “When Harry met Santa.” I swear it is more emotional than most Hallmark Christmas movies. I love it.

Merry Christmas!!!

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Here's a roundup of 5 made-for-TV Christmas Movies featuring minor queer characters

1. Title: Recipe for a Perfect Christmas

Year: 2005

Network: Lifetime

Full disclosure, this is one of my all time favorite TV Christmas movies. In it the female main character befriends a group of gay men out for a joint bachelor party. They come back to help her with her grand romantic gesture for the male main character at the end. Yes it’s minor queer representation, but this movie came out in 2005, way before same-sex marriage was legal even in New York. So to have a TV Christmas movie from 2005 take a fairly pro-gay marriage stance was amazing.

2. Title: Christmas…Again?!

Year: 2021

Network: Disney

The main character in this movie has two very happy gay Uncles. This minor representation is extra exciting because this is a DCOM, so it’s technically a kids movie intended for tweens. It’s the second DCOM this year to feature queer family members for one of the protagonists

3.Title: Christmas Ever After

Year: 2020

Network: Lifetime

This movie is one of the first romance movies I’ve ever seen with a disabled leading lady, so I instantly loved it. The leading man’s sister is a lesbian.

4. Title: A Christmas Dance Reunion

Year: 2021

Network: Lifetime

This movie is primarily a High School Musical actor reunion movie. The plot centers around trying to save a hotel. It features an established gay couple who met at the hotel, and they perform a cute romantic little tap number that ends with a kiss at the big Christmas dance at the end.

5. Title: Christmas By Starlight

Year: 2020

Network: Hallmark

This movie features my favorite Hallmark leading man, Paul Campbell. His character’s assistant is gay and married. His husband shows up somewhere in the middle and it’s very sweet.

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Under the Christmas Tree

Title: Under the Christmas Tree Year: 2021 Media: TV Movie Network: Lifetime Rated: TV-PG Category: Queer Main Characters Queer Rep: wlw Starring: Elise Bauman, Tattiawna Jones, Ricki Lake

Plot Synopsis: “Romantic sparks fly between Alma and Charlie when Charlie finds the perfect tree for the Maine Governor's Holiday Celebration at right in Alma's back yard.”

Thoughts: This is a very sweet movie. I actually didn’t recognize Elise Bauman with her little Bettie Page bangs and dark hair, but she’s well known to the lesbian media scene as one of the stars of the Carmilla series. She and Tattiawna Jones had really great chemistry in this movie.

Under the Christmas tree is full of traditional made-for-TV tropes, with an unmistakably queer twist. I think my favorite part was the random gingerbread house competition, or the jokes about how the movie White Christmas made Alma queer. You could really tell queer people were involved in this movie, and it was really nice to see. There was also some great family moments, especially with Enrico Colantoni who is no stranger to good father/daughter scenes.

If I was the kind of gay who loved plants and wanted to be a “tree whisperer” or had any interest in raising chickens I might give this a perfect score. If you’re looking for a great lesbian Christmas movie Under the Christmas Tree is a fantastic option.

Rating: 4.5 candy canes

[nerdfighterwhatevernumbers]

still very badly want a christmas romcom where the real santa falls in love with a mall santa

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Make The Yuletide Gay

Title: Make the Yuletide Gay Year: 2009 Media: Indie with the soul of a TV Movie Rated: Never officially rated but I’d put it in the PG-13 bracket Category: Queer Main Characters Queer Rep: mlm Starring: Keith Jordan, Adamo Ruggiero

Plot Synopsis: “Olaf "Gunn" Gunnunderson, an out-and-proud gay college student, crawls back into the closet to survive the holidays with his family. He keeps his cool as his quirky Midwestern-hearted parents try to set him up with his high school sweetheart, Abby. But when his boyfriend, Nathan, shows up at their doorstep unannounced, Gunn must put on a charade to keep the relationship a secret. With pressure mounting from all sides, will Gunn come out before the truth does?”

Thoughts: This is not technically a made-for-TV Christmas movie, but it has the budget, and more importantly the soul of a made-for-TV Christmas movie. It might even have less than the standard budget of a TV-movie? And it really shows. I actually think the leads are great, and have decent chemistry. I especially loved seeing the actor who played Marco on Degrassi. But the acting from the other characters can almost be painful sometimes. The parents are a full-on parody of Midwesterners. There are good really emotional scenes, but also some jokes that honestly just make me cringe. And it swings wildly between the two, never deciding if it wanted to be an over the top comedy or a heartfelt romance. It seems really inspired by TV Christmas movies, but also there are a lot more references to sex and drugs than you’ll find even on lifetime. Speaking of sex, oh my god the sex jokes. They are constant. The amount of double entrende they fit in one movie is almost impressive. It’s not that I have anything against sex jokes, but these ones just seemed out of place and awkward. Without the constant awkward jokes I would call this an amazing movie.

It is a movie about coming out, and for the most part I think that aspect is handled well. Except for an old trope with the parents that I always sort of hate. It’s emotional but uplifting, with a romantic happily ever after, which is what you want from a Christmas movie. 

Also this movie came out in 2009. Over a decade before the mainstream Networks even thought about making gay Christmas movies. For so long this movie was all we had. It’s truly a trailblazer.

It’s sort of killing me to rate it so low, I’ve gone back and forth on a number a bunch. I think if I had reviewed it even a year ago I might give it a higher score. But with the increase in other queer Christmas movies coming out, Make The Yuletide Gay is not our only option anymore. So I can’t overlook some of the flaws in quality.

However I do hold a very special place in my heart for this movie. I wish they had been successful in funding a sequel, which they turned into a novel instead.

Rating: 2.5 candy canes

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A New York Christmas Wedding

Title: A New York Christmas Wedding Year: 2020 Media: TV Movie Network: Netflix Rated: TV-MA Category: Queer Main Characters Queer Rep: wlw Starring: Nia Fairweather, Adriana DeMeo, Chris Noth

Plot Synopsis: “As her Christmas Eve wedding draws near, Jennifer is visited by an angel and shown what could have been if she hadn't denied her true feelings for her childhood best friend.”

Thoughts: This movie is ridiculous. I’m not even sure how to describe it. It had a very low budget which was unfortunately obvious. Some of the acting was a little over the top, especially with the guardian Angel character. This movie wants to be “It’s A Wonderful Life” but it’s somehow less fun (which is difficult.) It’s over dramatic, even for a Christmas movie and I think if they had scaled that back it would have been more successful. It’s serious almost the whole time, and they really made use of their TV-MA rating, with cursing, discussions of death, sex scenes etc. I will admit I did cry a little when the priest character gave a nice speech to his congregation about the Catholic Church needing to accept queer people and same-sex marriages. That’s really the main message of A New York Christmas Wedding, and they drive it home hard, like really in your face. I agree with the message but I wish it didn’t come with some random Catholic anti-abortion sentiment. And no spoilers, but the “twist” at the end was so bonkers that I had to pause my TV just to scream “WHAT?!”

On the positive side, there is bisexual representation and half of the couple isn’t white, so that’s great. Also I think the leads had some good chemistry together.

I’m adding half a candy cane because I thought the f/f sex scene was actually really good.

Rating: 2 out of 5 candy canes

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The Christmas House

Title: The Christmas House

Year: 2020

Media: TV Movie

Network: Hallmark

Rated: TV-G

Category: Ensemble

Queer Rep: mlm

Starring: Johnathan Bennett, Brad Harder, Robert Buckley, Treat Williams

Plot Synopsis: “Working through some difficult decisions, Mitchell family matriarch Phylis and patriarch Bill have summoned their two grown sons--Brandon and TV star Mike--home for the holidays. They hope that bringing the family together to recreate The Christmas House will help them find resolution and make a memorable holiday for the entire family and community. As Brandon and his husband Jake make the trip home, they are anxiously awaiting a call about the adoption of their first child. Meanwhile, Mike reconnects with his high-school sweetheart Andi.”

Thoughts: Hallmark really went all out advertising The Christmas House as their first “Gay Christmas Movie” they partnered with GLAAD to promote it and everything. So I know a lot of people were disappointed when it turns out, it’s less of a gay Christmas movie and more of an ensemble movie with some gay characters. I wasn’t one of the people disappointed because I read the press release back in like July when they announced the movie, and I could tell from that brief description it wasn’t going to focus mainly on the queer couple. And it doesn’t, the focus is a bit more on the straight brother, and then the parents have their own plotline. This is part of the reason I have categories, and this fits squarely in the ensemble category.

So all of that being said, it’s still a really cute movie. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, but it does cover some fairly serious issues for Hallmark such as adoption or marital issues for the parents. It felt like the characters actually cared about each other, and the sibling rivalry was hilarious.

I’m also not going to discount what a big deal this representation is just because it could have been more. If you had asked me 2 years ago how long before we’d get explicitly queer even minor characters in Hallmark Christmas movies, I’d have said 5 years at least. And a same gender kiss? I would have said we were a decade away from that. But here it is, and it was great.

And I love Johnathan Bennet, he’s one of my favorite Christmas movie leading men, I think he’s charismatic enough to make even the bad tv Christmas movies watchable. So I love that an openly gay actor who has been in other TV Christmas movies is getting the chance to play gay characters in them now.

If you don’t expect it to be the gayest Christmas movie ever, well then The Christmas House is very enjoyable. I’m looking forward to the sequel which is airing this year on December 18th. Though fingers crossed it will be a lot gayer.

Rating: 4 out of 5 candy canes

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Single All The Way

Title: Single All The Way 

Year: 2021

Media: Made for TV Movie

Network: Netflix

Rated: TV-PG

Category: Queer Main Characters

Queer Rep: mlm

Starring: Michael Urie, Philemon Chambers, Jennifer Coolidge, Kathy Najimy

Plot Synopsis: “Desperate to avoid his family's judgment about his perpetual single status, Peter convinces his best friend Nick to join him for the holidays and pretend that they're now in a relationship. But when Peter's mother sets him up on a blind date with her handsome trainer James the plan goes awry.”

Thoughts: This movie is the gay TV Christmas movie that dreams are made of. There’s no coming out drama, limited angst, there’s not even really a villain. For years we’ve watched women on Hallmark debate leaving the big city for the small town, and now we get to watch gay men do that too. Jennifer Coolidge plays a hilarious theatre diva Aunt, and Kathy Najimy was a great overbearing mother. This movie was everything I wanted The Christmas Setup last year with Fran Drescher to be. There was some truly hilarious family match-making plotting.

Peter’s mother reminds us about 5 times that she just learned in a book that gay friends don’t have to be secretly attracted to each other, but don’t worry these gay friends definitely are. Single All The Way wants you to think it’s going to be a “fake relationship” movie, but it’s not. It’s really a classic secret pining and jealousy movie. Which might be better than a fake relationship plot. Speaking of jealousy, Luke MacFarlane plays an adorable wannabe instagay and romantic rival James. MacFarlane is a Hallmark Christmas veteran, but he usually gets pushed into some fairly corporate carboard leading man roles, so it was great to see this out actor play a fun character. Let him play more gay characters! 

This movie is full of cheesy goodness and traditional ridiculous TV Christmas movie logic. For Netflix’s first gay Christmas movie it was great, in fact I’d say it was way better than their straight Christmas movies. 

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 candy canes 

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This tweet makes a really important point. The point of made for TV Christmas movies isn’t necessarily to be a “good” movie. Sometimes it’s just to be fun or silly or lighthearted fluff. 

Veterans of made for TV Christmas movies know this, but if you’re just breaking into the genre for the newer queer movies you might be surprised by this.

But I don’t believe to holding made for TV movies to the standards of a big budget wide release. Just like I’m not going to go easy on any larger studio movies just because it is better quality than a TV movie.

Just something to keep in mind. The key to enjoying TV Christmas movies is managing your expectations.

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Categories of Queer Christmas Media

As someone who loves queer Christmas media I have identified 4 main categories of queer Christmas media. When I do my reviews I’ll tell you which category they fit into so you can know what to expect. (In other words, how queer it is)

1. Queer Main Characters: This category is for media where the queer characters and storylines are really the focus. 

2. Ensemble: This category is for media that focuses on multiple stories or characters. Not always equally, but where each storyline and character is important and the queer characters are significant.

3. Queer Supporting Characters: This category is for straight media that features queer supporting characters. They aren’t the focus, but important enough to be relevant.

4. Queer Minor Characters: This category is for straight Christmas media with minor, but explicitly queer characters. You may think this category doesn’t really count, however for years we didn’t even have minor queer characters in Christmas media. So it is still exciting.

I will keep my full reviews to the first 3 categories, but include a few roundup posts with multiple movies from category 4.

Another reason for the categories is that I want to judge these movies based on what they are, and not end up docking points because it wasn’t “gay enough”