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incorrect SVT/BTS | call me xiao | canada

[zouchu]

*SVT is split up*

Mingyu: Do you think Vernon’s okay?

Seungkwan: Of course!

Seungkwan: He's so stupid he'd forget to die even if he got killed!

[zouchu]

Jeongguk [looking through closet]: Hey, what should I change into?

Yoongi [across the hall and beyond two doors]: A better person.

[zouchu]

Yoongi: Oh no

Namjoon: Oh no

Hoseok [crashing through the wall]: OH YEAHHHH

[zouchu]

Namjoon: Are you crying?

Taehyung: No, I'm having an allergic reaction.

Namjoon: To what?

Taehyung: Life.

[zouchu]

Soonyoung [parking car]: Can you guys get a table?

Junhui, Minghao & Chan: Alright.

*Moments later*

Chan [sprinting out restaurant, carrying table]: START THE CAR!

[zouchu]

Yoongi [hoarsely]: Fuck, I’m losing my voice.

Taehyung: Haha, guess that means you can’t yell at us anymore.

…

Taehyung: Turns out, Yoongi is scarier when he’s quiet.

[zouchu]

Mingyu: You know, the producers of this generation can be real aggressive. So it’s important to take all necessary precautions when approaching.

Mingyu [beeps air horn at Jihoon]: GET FUCKED!

[zouchu]

Joshua: You joke around way too much.

Wonwoo: You're in no position to tell me that.

Joshua: *reclines chair*

Wonwoo: What are—

Joshua: I'm in a reclining position tell you that

[zouchu]

Jeongguk: Let me introduce you to my hyungs Taehyung and --

Jeongguk: *looks at smudged writing on his hand* Chimney??

[zouchu]

Seokjin: I’m not talking.

Namjoon [sharpening a knife]: We’ve got ways of making people talk.

Namjoon: *cuts a slice of cake*

Seokjin: … Can I have some?

Namjoon: Cake is for talkers.

[zouchu]

Seungkwan: Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

Joshua: They have short ha--

Jihoon: Because they’re all dead.

[zouchu]

Seokjin: What did Naruto say to the bee? [Answer: Bee-lieve it!]

Namjoon [caught off guard]: Chidorbee?

Hoseok: That is the epitome of a bad pun, oh my god.

[zouchu]

Vernon: Why are there bruises on my knees?

Seungkwan: I snuck into your house while you were sleeping and used one of those doctor reflex tester hammers to beat the shit out of your knees specifically.

[zouchu]

Jeongguk: [Incomprehensible]

Seokjin: What?

Jeongguk [even quieter]: [Incomprehensible]

Seokjin: You gotta speak up, bud.

Jeongguk [full volume]: FUCK.

[zouchu]

Taehyung: Is this for realskis?

Namjoon [completely serious]: This is 100% certified for realskis.

[zouchu]

Hoseok: Were you ever nice?

Yoongi: 1985. Worst year of my life.

[zouchu]

Chan: You promised not to tell!

Jeonghan: Hitler promised not to invade Czechoslovakia. Welcome to the real world.