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[queernumbers]

You can like pink and glitter and makeup, and be a tough, hardcore athlete.

You can always wear boots and jeans, never any makeup and love nothing more than to cook and do interior design.

You can wear dresses and high heels, and have a career in wood and metal working.

Personality traits and skills are never mutually exclusive or weird when paired together.

Gender is a construct. Pull what's useful from it and make it what works for you. Or abandon it entirely.

[queernumbers]

All those inspirational stories that are all over tv and the internet, saying life's too short to be doing a job you hate (or don't love). And follow your dreams and your passions and all that. But how do you pay rent and medical bills and feed your family with passion and dreams? I have a master's degree and licensure in a field that has at least 4 of 12 months of the year with 60 hour work weeks. How do I still keep the lights on and get a new career that doesn't suck my soul out with a sump pump leading to the sewers of a toxic waste plant?

[queernumbers]

Is it just a trap of my depression that I feel like I will always be stuck, chained to a place where I have to toil through work in order to survive, and in doing so I will never be able to do the things that my heart longs to do? Maybe it's the social media or media in general fallacy that the majority of people are able to find ways to take trips and do projects and leave their daily grinds in favor the things that fulfill them. Maybe this is the privilege I've been born into breaking down, when I realize that the reality is that very few people get to do that.

How do I reconcile wanting to be wander and breathe the air from forests, deserts, mountains and canyons, with needing to provide for myself and my family?

[queernumbers]

I wish there was something I could find that gave me the hopeful and peaceful feeling that I had when I was able to believe in religion. There are times I wish I hadn't learned about the politicization or the church and the politics of how it's doctrine and history was created. I miss the comfort in the ritual and the faith that I've lost.

[queernumbers]

"why do we need a special day that we have with everyone else that's in a relationship in the country? It's just annoying to get a restaurant reservation?". "Because the hetero patriarchy wants you to buy jewelry you fucking idiot"

[queernumbers]

"Optical audio" cable is contradictory. And it should come with the stupid sound bar if I need it

[pluie-en-juin]

My brain trying to work out my sexuality before just deciding to say “queer” instead:

[queernumbers]

I hate that doing the things that keep a roof over my head and put food on the table prevent me from spending time doing the things I love. And what I hate even more are the people saying 'you need to just follow your dreams' or 'why can't you just do the things you love'. Because I need medical care Karen, because my family depends on me for medical care and food and housing. Because in this land of opportunities the biggest opportunity is perpetual debt and poverty.

[queernumbers]

Why are shoes gendered? There is no structural difference between a "men's" hiking boots and a "women's" boot. I don't need to be worrying about if I'm "making a statement" about my gender identity whenever I walk to one side of the shoe store or the other.

[queernumbers]

What would it look like if I actually believed that doing my best was enough? What if I actually believed that in my day to day, I was doing my best? What would that even look like?