Why Universe why?
I really don't get it anymore. You'd think after so many trials and failed attempts I'd have learned to stop trying and looking especially since apparently the only words the guys I go for know are "I'm straight" and " Dude we're close friends so that'd just be weird" Homosexuality was never a choice. Hell, Lord knows if I had a choice I'd be straight since I'd probably have a much easier time. Love, for some godforsaken reason seems to be the same. I don't want to feel a connection. I don't want to feel different when I'm around a guy I've been extremely close to for a year now. I don't want to think of what it'd be like if we were together or how amazing it feels to just be in the same room as you are. But hey, we can't always get what we want right? It isn't fun anymore. It isn't fun being lead on by yourself. To unwillingly deny reason and give in to fantasy. To spend hours on end listening to you whine and feel frustrated over how you can't find the right girl. The girl you can talk to about anything. The girl who's always there when you need someone to just listen to you. The girl whose role I fit perfectly, save for the fact that I'm a guy. It's not like you don't know I'm gay. Hell, you've been there for me when I wished I wasn't and when I was pretty much nothing but gay. There is no point anymore. I'm tired. I can't keep going on like this without anything changing but I also don't want things to change. I'm happy the way things are but I can't help but pine for more. Why Universe? Why?!
