doubt-friendly environment

johanna, 24, they/she, femme lesbian, lutheran christian, poet, leftist, choirboy, myrrhbearer

[queerprayers]

pinned post/faq <3

I follow/like from my personal @sapphicpenguin

storygraph | poetry portfolio/writing blog

I welcome any kind of question/prayer request but I am not able to answer every ask I receive, I'm sorry. I answer asks when I have a moment and something to say at the same time, which is not always (and sometimes months later). If yours goes unanswered, know that I listened, you're in my prayers, and there was nothing wrong with your question.

I am NOT good at DMs, I'm so sorry. Please know any lack of communication on my part is not personal.

tagging system info

If I've reblogged one of your posts and you'd rather not have it on my blog (whether because of my religion, my platform, the post being personal, or anything else), let me know and I'll delete it as soon as I can. Although if it's just because I'm gay I can't promise anything.

Disclaimer: I am in my 20s. I am not ordained. I am not a therapist. I have no degree beyond high school-equivalent. I like to talk about my experiences and give people new ways to think about things, but I am not a replacement for religious leadership, scholarly research, or mental healthcare.

Anyone of any, some, or no faith practice can follow me and interact with me. Yes, you can follow me if you're a witch/pagan/satanist. Yes, you can follow me for the aesthetics or for your fandom content.

You're welcome to follow me if you disagree with some/most/all of what I say. I welcome people who are unsure about queer faith or faith in general. I hope I can be an example/learning experience, but understand that this is not a debate blog. I share opinions and invite conversation, but I have no interest in argument.

I generally tag common triggers (+ swearing) but I do occasionally forget. Let me know if I've forgotten something or if you need something else tagged, but please be aware that common Christian art themes (like the crucifixion) will be present on this blog.

I respect and honor any religion based in love and genuine practice. I specifically and fully support Judaism and Islam and welcome interfaith prayer and discussions. God is infinite and all prayer is holy.

I specifically support trans people and believe we were all made in the image of God. My relationship with gender is complicated, but I exist in community with people of all different experiences, and have never failed to find holiness in those living out their calling.

I'm a white person in the US. This has obviously informed my life and faith. Please seek out people with different identities/experiences, and you may always share yours with me, especially if I'm getting something wrong.

Calling myself a leftist is purposely very general—I'm a leftist in the same way I'm (materially) a Christian (participating in a long tradition, existing in conflict with people under the same umbrella, taking the parts that can be lived out in love).

Similarly, "Lutheran" is more of a heritage, worship practice, and starting point, not an identity or blind agreement/acceptance. Lutheranism is where I'm from and informs my perspective, but my theology does not always align with Lutheran institutions, and I definitely do not condone many of the things Martin Luther said/believed.

My profile picture is Joanna the Myrrhbearer, the saint I was named after! She's one of the women in Luke's gospel who visits Jesus's empty tomb.

Reblogs do not equal endorsements of OP. I don't go through everything a blog has posted before reblogging.

No, I don't mind if you "spam" like/reblog from me. You could like every post I've ever posted and I'd be honored. Don't worry about it!

Yes, I'm a lesbian. If I mention my boyfriend, it is the same person as when I mention my partner or lover. I am a femme dating a butch.

<3 Johanna

[eesirachs]

how to look into the catholic church, if you feel the tug of it—

look for communities near you to visit; morning masses have nice women who love to greet new neighbors. this is a book on how to visit, and this is my guide on it. the task is copying those near you. you need to find ethical relationship—going out is important. if you can't, though, try virtual masses (like those in my city through catholictv). follow the mass with a lectionary, the usccb daily readings, or the ordo

visit adoration, quiet times of reflection in front of the body. in various communities there are hours of this, or, it never ends

learn to pray chaplets or the rosary. visit churches half an hour before mass to recite the rosary with others. you can count on your fingers until you get one yourself

learn the nicene creed, which outlines the catholic faith in its gist

read vatican encyclicals like pope francis' delixit nos (he likens faith to his grandmother's cookies) or pope leo's recent magnifica humanitas (the rhetoric here is of loving the neighbor ethically, lornfully)

reach out to other catholics, like me 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯, pilgrim yourself to shrines, or visit festivals or feast days near you, (like the north end's st anthony's feast)

remain both generous and critical in one breath. name the violence of this church

lastly, look into ocia or rcia, rites of initiation guided by deacons or fathers to come home to the church

[gayartists]

Jacob Wrestling with the Angel (1958), Roy de Maistre

[queers4christ]

my vibes for this pride month

[softberrydoll]

child jesus inflicting upon himself because he always knew what was going to happen to him in the calvary

paintings: “el niño de la espina”, unknown, francisco de zurbarán, gregorio vásquez de arce y ceballos, unknown

[bobdylanyaoi]

“Subverting” Catholic art? Oh, okay. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You log onto the internet and you post about how “Wound of Christ” from Psalter and Prayer Book of Bonne de Luxembourg, attributed to Jean le Noir, c.1349, for instance, looks like a vulva because you're trying to tell the world that you enjoy Catholic art and imagery in an alternative, queer, risqué way that challenges Christian beliefs. But what you don't know is that that stigma isn’t just a vulva. It's not just a mandorla. It's not just yonic. It's actually intentionally erotic. And you're also blithely unaware of the fact that around 1297, Saint Angela of Foligno experienced a vision of Christ himself, who called her to put her mouth to the wound in his side and lick the freshly flowing blood. And then I think it was Saint Catherine of Siena who drank blood and a clear liquid from the wound before receiving a ring made from Christ’s foreskin? And then graphically erotic encounters with the side wound of Christ quickly showed up in the writings of eight different mystics. And then the yonic interpretation of the stigmata filtered down through the illuminated manuscripts and then trickled on down into some pseudo-intellectual corner of the internet…where you, no doubt, fished it out of some Pinterest board. However, that interpretation represents hundreds of years and countless visions of religious ecstasy. And it's sort of comical how you think that you've come up with an idea that exempts you from Christian theology when, in fact…you're posting an image that was sexualized for you by the very Medieval saints you think you’re so different than…from “subverted” Catholic art.

[queerprayers]

the protest sign says "the closet is an awful place to die" (or, in which I ponder creationism) | johanna e. hall | published in fruitslice: a queer quarterly issue 6: queer ecology | art by apb photography | text below

The Protest Sign Says "The Closet is an Awful Place to Die" or, In Which I Ponder Creationism

In the Beginning—after the angels and animals had settled into their hierarchies, after the wild and waste had become something that could hold a garden, after Day and Night were gently pulled apart, Earth and Sea shepherded into place— Male and Female He created them.

A little while later, the Smithsonian shows me a fossil long abandoned by its ocean, the shadow of an animal that evolved before eyes did, still learning how to be looked at. We crawl out of shells carefully furnished by our ancestors and leave tentative footprints in the sand, hoping the museum plaques will be kind to us. Mine will begin:

The woods I grew up in hold sunsets well, Day and Night admitting their overlap, the stories we tell a map but never the land— and how beautiful the land is, the beaches and horizons, the way we carve out a life, neither beast nor angel, cursed to labor and blessed to cultivate.

Evolution continues creation the way I loved before I could speak love into being, the way I forget my friends' old names but never the first girl I held hands with, the way my lover is in the story the way I tell it, and the God they say created Male and Female— who hovers over the face of waters where some are just now learning to swim— hands us the plow.

[mechthildofmagdeburg]

An Invocation to the Holy Spirit by St Symeon the New Theologian

Come, true light.

Come, life eternal.

Come, hidden mystery.

Come, treasure without name.

Come, reality beyond all words.

Come, person beyond all understanding.

Come, rejoicing without end.

Come, light that knows no evening.

Come, unfailing expectation of the saved.

Come, raising of the fallen.

Come, resurrection of the dead.

Come, all-powerful, for unceasingly you create, refashion and change all things by your will alone.

Come, invisible whom none may touch and handle.

Come, for you continue always unmoved, yet at every instant you are wholly in movement; you draw near to us who lie in hell, yet you remain higher than the heavens.

Come, for your name fills our hearts with longing and is ever on our lips; yet who you are and what your nature is, we cannot say or know.

Come, Alone to the alone.

Come, for you are yourself the desire that is within me.

Come, my breath and my life.

Come, the consolation of my humble soul.

Come, my joy, my glory, my endless delight.

x

[shenzi-hemlock]

Touching grass is not enough, some of y’all need to touch the hem of His garment.

[artofangelo]

archangel gabriel. referenced from bouguereau

[stkateri-deactivated20260526]

Pray for Scott-Vincent Borba, who donated his 3.85 billion dollar fortune to Catholic charities in California. He is becoming a priest in the Diocese of Fresno May 23rd!

[queerprayers]

jesus is a mother hen today, yearning, crying out to gather us under wings. let her! whatever mothers have done to or left you. whatever children you grieve or struggle to hold. whatever messages of god you have stoned. let her shadow come between you and that burning sun.

[wolfythewitch]

My Lord and my God

[milli2nds]

Figured I’d post this here, I’m not a particularly religious person, I’m actually very agnostic, but I did this piece for my grandma, plus, whether or not he was a prophet of god, I think Jesus still seems like a pretty sick guy.

[eesirachs]

the lyrics of the loved: yhwh grazes me, there's nothing i lack. / in comely grass he lies me, in rivers resting he gives. my vapourish life he returns, guiding me to right courses in his name. / though i come through the valley of gloomest gloom, i've no terror. you're with me. your rods and rods clamour, console. / you lay for me a table for those that violence me. you chrism me in olive oil; my cup's runny-over. / only goodness, good goodness, runs to me, for the years of my life. i remain in the house of yhwh for long years

—my translation of ps 23

[eesirachs]

hi, your blog is so interesting to me and i applogise if this is a weird or unwelcome question but how do you seem to be such a devout catholic with much love towards god but at the same time have so many posts that i would assume many catholics would consider extremely blasphemous—talking about god in “gross” ways or sexual ways or just in general horror-aligned ways—but at the end of the day seem eager to practice your faith and continue identifying strongly with catholicism? im just curious and have no judgement whatsoever! please feel free to ignore this ask if you don’t like it. all respect to your blog!

i remain both generous and critical in the one breath. there's no verse here. two things can feel true—i can keep the religion of my grandmother, and i can question it for its fruit, for its ripeness. there's nothing unyielding in my faith. god gives, then gives, then gives. i give, i give, i give. god is catholic. he's gross, too

[mioritic]

Icons representing saints from the Styrian farmers' calendar (Bauernkalender / Mandlkalender), published with regularity since the early 18th century.

The figures represented here are (L to R, top to bottom): Leo IX, Afra, John of Nepomuk, Augustine, Felix and Regula, and Lazarus.

Sepp Walter, Der steirische Mandlkalender. Seine Zeichen und Bilder (Graz: Leykam-Alpina, 1992)